How to approach the guy you like

How To approach a guy you like and make him crazy for you? Is it even possible? Yes, It is. With a few little steps and tricky ways (Psychologically Proved), you can do it very easily. In this article, we’ll tell you the 8 ways that you can use to approach any guy you like without looking desperate or needy.

Better late than never, you can try my methods because I used the same ones when I was at your stage. Don’t think that you will be rejected; instead, you will know whether that guy likes you or not.

Now let’s dive into the ways that you can use to approach a guy that you like.

How to approach the guy you like

8 Ways on How To Approach a Guy You Like

Don’t be nervous when it comes to approaching a guy because he could be shy as well. Have confidence in yourself, and you’ll be ready to get the guy you like the most.

1. Let Him Notice You

This is the most important step when you want to approach someone. Make sure he sees you and knows about you. If he is working in your office, then sit nearby him and talk in front of him. In this way, he will notice you and will pay attention to you.

You can also add him on social media and can like his post or photos. Make sure you find reasons to interact with him, and in this way, you can get close to him.

2. Look Good in front of Him

This is my favorite trick when it comes to approaching a guy. Guys like those girls who look good, smell good and dress well. If you want to grab some attention, then choose your dress wisely while meeting a guy.

However, guys prefer to see girls in light colors, and this is what you should do also. Wear light colors and look good in front of your guy.

Undoubtedly, dressing appropriately is the best way to approach a guy and make sure you choose his favorite colors. In this way, he will definitely notice you.

3. Compliment Him on His Work

If he is your colleague, then compliment him on his performance. Besides using cheesy lines, make sure you are using sophisticated lines. In this way, you can approach him easily.

Indeed complimenting him is the best way to approach him. You can find other things as well when it comes to appreciate him, such as his T-shirt, shoes, voice and much more.

If you feel that you don’t find words to compliment him, then listen to your heart and speak what it says. Not only it’s a natural way, but it is the best when you are trying to approach a guy you love.

4. Pass Him a Smile

If someone asks me how to approach a guy you like (The Easiest Way) without looking desperate, I’ll tell you this one. Smile, the best way to start a conversation with your crush. And a girl’s smile can create a place in a guy’s heart, and it’s proven scientifically as well. If you want to approach a guy you like, then pass him a smile. In this way, he’ll know that you are interested in him.

Probably, smiling is the best way to approach a guy, and if he’ll smile back, then, believe me, he is in love with you.

Although everyone will smile back at you. But the way he smiles will be another feeling. This ethereal feeling will make your day for sure.

5. Do Something Different for Him

Doing something different for him is the best way to approach a guy. In this way, he’ll know that you are interested in him. You can give him some gifts that he likes the most.

Furthermore, doing something different will create an epiphany moment for you and will help you to approach him fast. Don’t overdo anything because, in this way, you’ll irritate him.

In addition to doing something different, you can also do things that he like the most such as sending him good wishes on his special day, bringing lunch for him, and how about offering him a cup of coffee? These methods will also help you to stay in touch with him.

6. Write Him a Letter

Writing a letter is an old method, but it works when it comes to expressing your feelings. Make sure you keep it simple don’t show your all feelings as it can irritate him. You can tell him that you like him and want to talk to him regarding this.

Also, you can add some little details about the things you like in him. In this way, he will know that you are interested in him.

Of course, you can send him a text as well. But don’t text him too often because in this way you’ll lose your importance.

7. Invite Him To Your Parties

How to approach a guy you like? Believe me, this method really works. Inviting a guy you like the most is the best way to make him feel special. You may be afraid of asking him out, but you can call him at your parties.

Don’t forget to send him an invitation as it will make him feel better that you are giving respect to him and you are interested in him.

Most guys don’t ask out that much, but if you want to grab their attention, then you can call them into your parties.

8. Don’t Be Afraid of Trying Again

Some guys need extra attention, and this is why rejection can be the possibility. So make sure not to lose any hope.

You can try again and again so he can consider your proposal. I am sure at some point he will give you the attention.

Keep this in mind that it’s a process that requires patience, so don’t lose hope and try again.

How to approach the guy you like

Final Verdict

How to approach a guy you like? This is not a tough question until you know all the methods. By using the ways that I have mentioned above, you can easily approach a guy and can win his heart as well. And I’m sure if you take every step carefully and do what I’ve told you, then one day you’ll be with him enjoying your happy married life. Share your experience with others so they can also approach the guy they like.

How to approach the guy you like

I remember having no problem the first time I asked a guy out. But it was a simple matter because I knew he was gay. But what it I didn’t? You want to ask a guy out but you do not know if he is gay. How should you do it?

The answer is very simple: Ask him out without asking him out. Confused? Don’t be. I’ll explain. I’m a fan of developing relationships as friends first (eventually evolving into romantic friendships, then exclusive dating, then more, etc). You should take this route—especially since his sexuality is up in the air.

Invite him out to do buddy things—a movie; a game of pool; happy hour; a game of Wii—basically, things friends do. Get to know him as a person and open the door for him to get to know you. How do you approach him? Find something (I’m sorry, anything) that you have in common—the color blue, his sneakers, that gap between his teeth—and strike up a conversation. Then hit him with the invite to do friendly activities. The idea isn’t to seduce him, but to become friends, as you would with any other friend.

You’ll build a mutual trust as your friendship grows. Soon afterward you can brush the topic of sexuality. Keep it vague at first by just mentioning gay things, like the latest gay marriage news or gays in the military or your “gay friend” from high school. Then judge his reactions. Once you’re comfortable, come out to him. If he’s gay or bi, then he’ll response with a disclosure of his own – if he is ready to come out and willing to share it with you. If he’s not, and worth anything as a human being, he’ll stick by your side and at least be your buddy. Worst case scenario, he is not, and you’re better off without him.

Manage your expectations, though. You like him, so consciously or not, you’ve built a fantasy in your head about you two being together. Sexuality, friendships and relationships are not quite that transparent. Keep an open mind for an infinite amount of scenarios: He may be gay and not ready to come out; he may be gay and is just not into you; he may be straight and a homophobe; he may be straight and gay friendly; or he may be gay and into you. Don’t focus on your wants right now; focus on what is.

It’s more difficult for us gays sometimes, because we have to assess sexuality and then spit our game to get a date. Most of the guys use this strategy in the gay scene, also because, mostly they are looking for sex, although they don’t admit it. Resist the gay need to get the man now and take your time building a friendship. Soon enough all of the mysteries surrounding your hottie will be revealed.

We’ve all heard women say how tough it is to find a good guy, and it’s true. They do tend to be few and far between.

However, there are great guys out there who would love to bring you into their life and add value to yours. We do exist. The issue is, the high-value guys tend to have a lot of options in their life.

They are more than likely not going to approach you, because they already have so much selection within their social circle. So what can women do to try and add more of these high-value guys to their life?

One way is to approach, the other is to entice them to approach. Either way works, most women who know what they are doing prefer the latter. Women who are comfortable with their sexuality and open-minded tend to prefer the former.

So let’s break it down:


This is probably the most low-risk and subtle way to get a guys attention. All you need to do is plant yourself within close proximity of him. n order to pull this off, you need to have your look together.

I’m not saying you need to be the hottest girl in the bar, but you should have a cool sense of style and well-fitting clothes. I think most women have this area of their life down fairly well in comparison to men. We tend to care about fashion much less; most guys don’t realize what it says about them.

I’d also recommend having some cool, fun friends with you. Going out in groups of three girls tends to work best. This way, if your guy does approach, your other friends can entertain one another.

If you’re going out to meet fun guys and spend a large portion of your night with him and possibly even go home with him, then be sure to go out with friends that are non-judgmental.

So this is a fairly easy and low-risk way for you to “approach” a guy, but there is no guarantee he will. It is probably even less likely he will if he is with a large group of people with lots of attractive women.

Eye Contact

How to approach the guy you like

This is the most sure-fire way to get a guy to approach. If he doesn’t approach you after giving him strong eye contact, then the chances are unlikely that he will at all. The guys who are good with women know exactly what that means. It’s an invitation to come approach.

If a guy sees this and he has high self-esteem, then he will more than likely come and strike up a conversation with you. If you make solid eye contact and he still doesn’t come over, it means either he is not interested or he is not very secure with himself. Either way is no good.

You probably don’t want a guy who is too insecure to approach you and start-up a conversation.

Direct Approach

I’m calling this a direct approach, but it really isn’t.

Women don’t approach guys nearly as much as the inverse. There’s nothing wrong with either way, it’s just the way we’ve developed as a species and as a culture.

So the direct approach involves you going up to a guy and commenting on something arbitrary. So for example, you could compliment him on a unique watch, or t-shirt, or shoes. Any guy who is halfway decent with women will know that you are interested and it has now paved the way for you to strike up a conversation with him and find out if he’s the type of guy you’re interested in.

If you’d like, you can go more direct than this. If you’d like to compliment a guy on his attractiveness, it doesn’t get much more blatant than that. However, I would warn that this approach might lead to the guy assuming a sexual relationship will develop fairly quickly.

There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you are looking for, but that is probably what he’ll be thinking. A cool, open-minded guy won’t judge you for that.

In my travels though, I’ve found that there tend to be more judgmental people than not in this world. Perhaps that’s just me being judgmental, but that’s what I’ve seen.

The only time I’d recommend against this approach is if the guy is with another woman. Even then, you can still do it, but it might start some controversy between you and the other woman.

If you’re having anxiety about approaching a strange guy you don’t know in a public setting, read Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer.

Indirect Approach

How to approach the guy you like

This is a super low-risk way to strike up a conversation with a guy. However, your intent is going to be much less obvious.

This approach is going to revolve around situational relevance. You’ll want to go up and ask for the time, where the bathroom is, or if the caught the score of the Knicks game. If they don’t continue the conversation after giving you what you asked for, it’s no big deal.

The downside is, they may not realize that you are actually interested. They may be thinking this attractive girl is just looking for the time.


Obviously, there are more than one ways to skin a cat. I’d say your best bet is to try and get guys to approach you by making it obvious that you are interested in that way.

If you feel the guy is so high-value that it might not work, then I would try the riskier approaches that might yield better results. Remember, the guys you’re interested in probably have lots of options. They aren’t going to be running around the bar approaching strange women all night.

I’d say the best thing to keep in mind is that they’re just people, and they have no power over how you feel about yourself. They don’t define you. So get out there and find yourself the guy you’ve been looking for.

How to approach the guy you like

Did you know?…

The gym is one of the most emotionally charged places in the world?

Here’s what we mean.

When we are working out, our bodies go into a primal state.

Blood is pumping fast, and hormones are flooding our bodies.

This is why it is easy for guys to fall for girls at the gym.

But there’s a problem…

How do you know for sure if your gym crush is interested?

The answer is actually quite simple.

We just have to look for some clues in his behavior and body language.

Today, we’re going to show you the Top 5 Signs that a guy at the gym is interested in you.

Our team of dating coaches and romance experts have broken down and decoded these body language signals.

We’ll show you exactly how to tell if he is attracted to you.

Later, we’ll also show you how to start a conversation with him, and attract him using male psychology.

Once you learn these secrets, you’ll be able to use them on any guy at the gym!

Before You Continue…

In This Article:

1. Wandering Eyes

How to approach the guy you like

Put yourself in his shoes for a second:

He sees you all the time at the gym, and he’s interested…

But there’s a problem:

The gym is meant to be a place for working out, not socializing.

There are also many regular gym-goers there.

Deep inside, he wants to walk up and starts chatting with you…

But he might risk embarrassing himself in front of everyone if things don’t go well.

This means he will be extra nervous about approaching you.

To find out if a guy is interested in you at the gym, pay attention to his eyes.

His eyes will be wandering around the gym, but always coming back to you.

Usually, you will catch him staring at you, only to look away immediately.

He will also shy away from making direct eye contact, and prefer to look at you from the sides.

2. He Can’t Stay Focused

How to approach the guy you like

One of the biggest signs he wants you to make the first move is if he looks like he can’t pay attention to his workout.

Here’s the thing:

Some guys at the gym are super-focused, and completely locked in with their workout.

But if a guy has a crush on you, he will act very differently.

His mind is racing with thoughts of you, but he can’t approach you physically.

Look at his facial expression – He will look unfocused, with his attention scattered everywhere.

You might also find him on his phone a lot. This is actually a sign of nervousness.

Unfortunately, most guys will be stuck like this unless you make him to approach you.

3. He Seems To Be Always Nearby

How to approach the guy you like

This is a habit many guys do in front of their gym crushes.

Often, we move around the gym as we work out, doing different exercises and using different machines.

But if a guy likes you, you will notice him nearby a lot of the time…

He may stay on one exercise for a longer time because his attention is fixed on you.

He will naturally be drawn to you because you are what’s on his mind.

This is especially true if you go to a big gym.

Bonus Tip:

You can test if he likes you by moving close to him yourself and seeing how he reacts.

If he likes you, his attention will snap to you once he realizes you are nearby.

This will usually be very obvious, because it is a reaction males cannot control.

4. He Mirrors Your Actions

How to approach the guy you like

Mirroring is one of the biggest body language signs he secretly likes you.

In fact, every single guy does this because it is deeply rooted in his psychology.

Here’s how it works:

When a guy is focused on you, his body will follow his mind.

Naturally, his body language will begin to mirror you.

This means he will mimic or copy some of your behaviors.

A common example of this is drinking from a water bottle.

Take a sip from your bottle and see how he reacts – You might notice him also reaching for his bottle soon afterwards.

Another great example of this is simple expressions like deep breathing and sighs, or wiping sweat off the forehead.

The trick is to look out for these behaviors without him finding out.

You can do so by looking out of the corner of your eye, or using the mirrors at the gym to keep an eye on him.

5. He Finds Reasons To Talk To You

How to approach the guy you like

This is one of the biggest signs he is emotionally attracted to you.

Remember how we mentioned the gym is not a social environment?

It makes it very hard for guys to approach you…

There is a lot of pressure for him NOT to come talk to you.

But if he makes an effort to do so despite this, it means he is very interested in you.

It means the emotions he feels for you are greater than the social pressure against him.

Usually, he will try to start a conversation with you by talking about exercises or random topics.

Now, it’s very important to know he is just making an excuse to start talking with you.

So don’t get too caught up with the topic he starts with.

In other words, be sure to make the conversation deeper and more personal.

(Find out exactly how to do this in the next section)

The Next Steps: How To Move Things Forward And Get Together With Him

How to approach the guy you like

As girls, we all know this…

It feels good to know a cute guy is interested in you.

But here’s the secret most girls don’t understand:

Interest does not equal attraction.

Here’s what we mean…

A guy’s attention span is very short.

You might have his attention now, but if you don’t do anything, he will forget about you completely.

This is why you need to act fast, and turn his interest into attraction for you.

Fortunately, there are certain “emotional triggers” that you can use.

These are special words and techniques that create strong emotional responses inside the male brain.

To learn more about these techniques, check out this free eBook below below:

How to approach the guy you like

Being shy shouldn’t hold you back from approaching a guy you like. Knowing how to flirt is difficult as it is, and if you’re shy it can feel even harder to build up the courage to tell the men you like how you really feel.

How many times have we been jealous of our friends who can walk up to a guy they’re interested in with the ease of picking out produce at the supermarket? For those gals, making the first move is a no-fuss situation. They are fearless in the face of bending traditional dating stereotypes. That’s great!

But what about the rest of us who aren’t so bold?

Not everyone has this superpower ability to know how to flirt. Some of us are shy introverts and when it comes to asking out — or even just approaching — men, we’d rather make an appointment for a root canal with our dentist.

It’s not that we lack basic flirtation skills, but we are much more comfortable when the guy makes the first move.

The thing is, though, women can and should feel comfortable approaching men they are interested in. In fact, a lot of men these days actually love it when a girl takes the initiative.

Being shy shouldn’t exclude you from the fun of dating. You never know who you might meet!

If you’re on the shy side and reading this, you’re probably thinking this is going to be another article about getting out of your comfort zone, blah, blah, blah. How many times have we heard that before? It’s not bad advice, but sometimes it’s much easier said than done.

That begs the question: What are some practical ways that a shy girl can approach a guy that won’t leave her in complete agony at the thought of doing it?

You don’t have to challenge yourself to walk up to the first hot guy you see and ask him to dinner; it’s more about challenging yourself in subtle ways.

Check out these useful tips to help you approach a guy you are interested in, even if you are shy.

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1. Make eye contact.

Eye contact is one of the easiest and most subtle ways to let a man know that you are interested in him. Sometimes the thought of eye contact with a stranger seems nauseating, but if you think he’s cute, look up from that cell phone and simply challenge yourself to lock eyes with him. Don’t stare him down like you’re an FBI agent and he’s on the Most Wanted list. A short glance is all you need. This gives him a window to approach you. Shy girl win!

2. Add a smile.

Eye contact is great, but what happens when you actually lock eyes with someone?

Here’s what not do: quickly look down in utter fear. Yeah, you might be nervous but don’t act like it. When you do make eye contact with him, follow up with a nice, cool smile. If he’s smart, he’ll take the hint that you like him and act on it.

3. Ask him an unrelated question.

One of the best ways to approach a guy without actually asking him out is to ask him an unrelated question or for some help with something. In no way should you ever dumb yourself down for someone, but maybe just use it as a way to simply initiate a conversation. If you legitimately need help with something, that’s perfect! Sometimes starting a conversation with a random comment might feel too obvious, which is why asking for some help is a great, subtle way to start talking to a new guy.

4. Flirt, flirt, flirt!

No matter how shy or introverted you are, all women inherently know how to flirt and much of it happens subconsciously while we are talking a guy we really like. That eye contact, smile, or request for help may have gotten you to speak to each other, but that doesn’t mean you can be lazy, either. Allow yourself to flirt, even in this small window of opportunity. Nothing is going to go anywhere if you try these those methods and then shut down once you actually start talking to him!

5. Comment on something if the occasion calls.

Let’s say you’re sitting on a subway next to a good looking guy that you are attracted to and all of sudden the lights flicker, a kid is out of control throwing a tantrum, or something random and odd happens. That’s a perfect opportunity to say a funny, observational comment that could lead to a conversation. You’re both aware of what’s going on (unless he’s glued to his phone and in that case, forget about him) and it’s a chance to start talking to him without being totally obvious.

6. Don’t take things so personally.

This is very important. For shy girls, putting ourselves out there can feel so daunting that when we don’t see positive results, we immediately go back into hermit-mode. If you challenge yourself to try out some of these low key flirting methods and he doesn’t seem interested, that’s okay! He’s not the guy for you. You’ve most likely turned down other guys before, so don’t take it personally. He may not even be single!

Regardless, it’s important to not let others define your worth. Keep working your way up and who knows, maybe someday you’ll be a bold, flirting superhero.

Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. When she’s not writing for YourTango, she is also a travel blogger and an actress.

His sight makes you weak in your knees and your heart melts to a warm fuzzy feeling. A feeling so wonderful seems unattainable in reality, because you cannot approach this guy. So, you let it go and walk away letting your dream crash under the weight of being unconfident. But, we have a solution to offer you in this situation. This LoveBondings article gives you some good tips on how to approach a guy you really like.

How to approach the guy you like

His sight makes you weak in your knees and your heart melts to a warm fuzzy feeling. A feeling so wonderful seems unattainable in reality, because you cannot approach this guy. So, you let it go and walk away letting your dream crash under the weight of being unconfident. But, we have a solution to offer you in this situation. This LoveBondings article gives you some good tips on how to approach a guy you really like.

Stop waiting for someone else to make the first move, destiny is in your hands if you act wisely.

Most often it is true that men always make the first move, which is why maybe women continue to live under the impression that making the first move is always a ‘guy thing’. But the opposite can be true too! Most women fear rejection and feel extremely shy when making a move. This is why, you incessantly keep eying a guy in your class, office, college or wherever, but never really gather the grit, or the gumption to talk to him.

Would you like to write for us? Well, we’re looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we’ll talk.

An important tip in this drama is, guys like to be asked out too! And why not, when it is such a huge ego boost? Also men love bold, honest, and upfront women, despite the fact that most mushy romances portray otherwise. It also means men have to work less and enter the initial chase game with a leader. So, let’s take a look at a few things that you need to work upon to actually approach a guy.

Face Your Fear

Fear in the biggest deterrent in every move we make. Governed by the fear of failing, we seldom make efforts to make things work. However, this time around, you really need to face your fears. So what really happens when you see him? Your tongue gets twisted, you break out into massive sweat, words get metamorphosed to no words, and panic sets in! Introspect a little and figure out why this happens. The answer could be fear of losing him. However, how would you lose him if you never had him in the first place? If you intend to make anything happen with this guy, you’ve first got to know him, be with him, and then worry about losing him. Hence, take a first step, gather a little bit of confidence, and at least befriend him.

Begin With Confidence

There is a reason why they say ‘first impression is the last impression’. Considering the truth in this sentence, you need to make a confident impression on the guy you like. Your appearance is going to speak volumes for you, before you actually do. Hence, a well-groomed look and a confident walk is the need of the hour. Be who you are and proud of what you are. A confident, yet humble approach is the perfect combination for making the first move.

Seek Attention

For anything to happen between the two of you, it is important that he acknowledges your existence and presence. That’s why you need to get noticed. Do so, by being around him, so that you get more time to make an eye contact at the least. An eye contact is a silent conversation starter, as it immediately leads to a smile. Make the next move by complimenting him. Everybody loves compliments as it is always nice to be appreciated. So, a compliment is your magic trick to make an actual conversation with him. Approaching a guy on a positive note will make him remember you too.

Perseverance Wins

Every effort needs a good deal of perseverance. Thus, you have to pursue the timely eye contacts and the occasional smiles for a while. These will gradually move on to ‘Hi’ and ‘Hello’. And that will be your next cue to make the next move. To hold on to his attention, you need to engage him in some kind of small talk. As you begin to share details, however mundane they may be, you will find common grounds to connect. The art of striking a conversation will be the deciding factor for how your approach develops.

Give Him a Chance

Now that you have established some rapport with him, it is his turn to reciprocate. However, he will only approach when you are alone. The constant company of your friends might disappoint him. Thus, keep your friends away when he is around. Give him a chance to make a move and to strike an uninterrupted conversation.

Being tactical is the key to approaching a guy. Although a man would like a woman to make the first move, they are turned off by aggressive and overconfident women. You may be ‘Ms. Know-It-All’, but you would end up knowing nothing about him, if you act so. So play it subtly and with confidence. The most important rule is to do it alone, and not with a gaggle of your girlfriends. Go get him girl!

How to approach the guy you like

When you’re gearing up for a night out, you probably have a pretty standard checklist: Sexy top? Clearly. Killer pair of heels? Obvs. But there’s a big difference between a guy checking you out and a guy who can’t resist your spell.

That’s why some new research being done on attraction is so intriguing — it offers subtle, novel strategies for not only grabbing attention but also inspiring plenty of introductions and phone-number exchanges. Get ready to work your come-and-meet-me voodoo by tapping in to the way dudes’ brains work.

1. Don’t Disregard the Basics

Even the best ninja-level seduction tricks will be useless if you don’t practice good fundamentals. You may have heard of, or even used, these maneuvers before, but their success makes them worth repeating. For starters, always keep your group of girls nice and small. “It’s ideal to go out with just one or two other friends,” says relationship expert Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz. “If you’re with a larger group, pair off for 30-minute intervals to give guys the opportunity to come up to you.”

Choose your wingwomen wisely — you want to be surrounded by friends who are outgoing and don’t need to be babysat — and avoid standing so that your shoulders are squared toward each other; physical openness will send the message that you’re okay with being approached and not engrossed in an intimate convo. Be sure to plant yourselves in a high-traffic area near the center of the room. but never near an exit. You may get noticed there, but dudes who constantly eyeball the door are likely to be always looking for the next best thing.

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2. Show Off Your Neck and Shoulders

Now on to more stealthy tactics. It’s certainly no secret that men are visual creatures. However, it turns out that convincing a guy to approach is far more complex than simply undoing an extra button. “It has less to do with displaying lots of cleavage and more to do with flaunting your shoulders,” says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals.

While men are evolutionarily attracted to both bare skin and soft, round shapes (duh), they also have a more developed subconscious that equates boobs spilling out of a too-tight dress with desperation. So opt for a slightly more discreet body-skimming halter or tube top to give off a confident, sexy vibe.

A bonus tip: Be sure to draw attention to your neck dimple — the little indentation beneath your throat and just above your clavicle — with an eye-catching necklace. Research shows that this often overlooked area is alluring to men because it represents femininity and vulnerability.

3. Use Your Drink as a Seduction Prop

A drink can be a great tool if handled correctly — as a conversation piece or to clink glasses with him flirtatiously. Just avoid using it as a security blanket. “Cradling a drink in front of you puts up a subtle barrier,” says body-language expert Greg Hartley, coauthor of I Can Read You Like a Book. “It shows discomfort when you’re fiddling with your straw or a bottle label.” To avoid looking like a stressball with lipstick, set down your vodka on the bar or a nearby table now and then to use your hands while telling an especially funny story to a friend — it broadcasts your energy, which is superattractive.

4. Subtly Show Off Your Lower Half

Most men won’t appreciate your killer pair of designer heels — well, most straight guys, anyway — but strategically encouraging them to bring their focus downward will still work wonders to lure them over. “When you’re seated on a banquette or bar stool, try crossing and uncrossing your legs every minute or two,” says body-language expert Janine Driver. “It’s a flirtatious action that draws attention to a body
part that men crave touching.”

Another trick: While one of your legs is crossed over the other, dangle your shoe from your toes so that it’s half off your foot. Not only does this action indicate that you’re unlikely to bolt if he approaches you, but it also suggests that you’re extremely relaxed and self-assured.

5. Put on Your Best Game Face

It’s not enough just to stand there and look gorgeous. You also have to flash some fierce and flirty looks. “We’re finding that men need a whole lot more coaxing than you’d think,” explains Ann Demarais, PhD, coauthor of First Impressions. “You have to send a pretty strong message that you’d be
receptive to the guy if he actually came over to talk to you.”

Always smile — sultry stares will backfire — and try this sneaky tactic to make him think he already knows you: “Flash both brows upward for a half-second and then drop them quickly,” suggests Hartley. “An eyebrow raise is a form of recognition, so you’ll have him scanning his mental database to figure out your connection and when he may have met you.”

In other words, his incentive to make a trek across the room is now twofold: He’s sure you took notice of him, so he’ll be encouraged by the flattery. Plus, he’ll be able to break the ice by asking if you know each other — without coming off like a cheese ball.

What Not to Get Noticed For

You don’t want to be a wallflower…but you really don’t want to attract attention for any of this mortifying behavior.

Dancing like nobody’s watching — except everybody is watching because you look like a crazed baboon that’s on fire

Winning the Jäger-bomb competition you’d been having with a bunch of frat guys before losing the not-puking-all-over-the-floor competition that you had been having with your stomach

Cramming as many mini quiches and pigs in a blanket as possible into your clutch for a late-night snack

Doing a keg stand while wearing a baby-doll dress and no panties

Actually, just doing a keg stand, period

Bursting into tears anytime a guy you’re talking to excuses himself to go grab another drink

Screaming “Don’t you touch my man!” at any girl who’s touching any man

Walking out of the bathroom with your dress tucked into your tights

Flying into a homicidal rage when the bartender gives you a full-calorie beer instead of a lite beer

You know, AFTER your workout is done.

How to approach the guy you like

If you’re looking for someone who shares your same get-healthy interests, the gym seems like a great place to meet a potential date. But wait—most of the time you like to be left alone when you’re working out, so you probably shouldn’t approach the guy next to you in the weight room, right? Actually, you should go for it, says Tracey Steinberg, dating expert and author of Flirt For Fun & Meet THE ONE.

“Men generally have the burden of approaching and making the first move, so if a woman shows interest first and he’s interested back, he’ll really appreciate it,” she says. Yes, even at the gym. So if you’re done with your workout and looking to strike up a conversation with the guy who keeps catching your eye between circuits, Steinberg has a few tips that may help.

The key to a successful gym flirting session is keeping it simple by using the environment to your advantage to strike up a conversation, according to Steinberg. Anything that you “see, hear, touch, taste or smell” is fair game (okay, maybe not smell or taste in this situation). Ask him if he knows the song blasting overhead or if he’s ever taken the new cross-training class being offered.

Then, there’s always the tried and true trick: Asking for help with something—so long as it’s a genuine request, says Steinberg. You can ask them to spot you, show you how to use that machine that you’ve never been able to figure out, or just to help you move the 250-pound weight some jerk left behind before you. “Men naturally love to help,” she says.

Of course, don’t forget your common sense; you should only approach a guy if he’s in a state to talk. Flirting certainly isn’t worth causing any serious injuries over, so if he’s in the middle of a rep, wait until he puts the weights down.

“The most important trait is confidence, even if you’re hot and sweaty because you just ran miles on the treadmill,” says Steinberg. Instead of worrying about those sweat stains under your boobs, relish in this awesome post-workout confidence boost you have going on.

And the best part about flirting at the gym? If you find out he’s unavailable or uninterested, you’re surrounded by easy outs—just tell him you’re going to go hit the squat rack and to enjoy his workout, then get back to doing your own thing.

Moral of the story: The rules of flirting at the gym aren’t any different from flirting at a party or club. Don’t overthink it and don’t try too hard. At the end of the day, the gym is just another place to meet potential dates, and as long as you’re confident and polite, he probably won’t think twice about the interruption.