How to ask a guy out through facebook

September 17, 2018 //В В byВ Anahi Valenzuela

You have an eye on a certain quiet guy in your class, but the only attention you get in return comes from the loud guy sitting behind you. Why? Getting a date may happen more often with an extrovert because alternatively, a shy guy makes you read against the grain. Still, don’t let his shyness change your mind about him. He probably fears rejection. I mean, don’t we all?

These few tips may help you better understand and land a date with a shy guy.

1. Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Let’s go back to fourth grade: We all had to read that story about the tortoise and the hare. Do you remember who won? When asking out a shy guy, keep in mind that it will require more patience and persistence to win him over. Prepare yourself to take initiative in certain situations in which he might not feel comfortable in. Don’t feel discouraged if he stays in his bubble and don’t try to pop it. Instead, give him some time to open up on his own. Eventually, once he gets to know you better, he will.

 2. Don’t Plan Your Wedding Just Yet

Think back to that one time you stood in line at Starbucks, and a guy started hitting on you before even asking for your name. It felt uncomfortable, right? Yeah, guys like that most likely get rejected. Sure, some guys like getting asked out right off the bat, but for a shy guy it might turn his eyes into saucers and make him run the opposite way. It can intimidate him especially, if he doesn’t know you. He might even say “no” just to escape the situation rather than think about going on a date with someone he hardly knows. “I’d say be a bit subtle and then gradually get to the point,” San Diego State University senior Daniel Moore said. “I don’t mind meeting her and getting to know her before being asked out.” Spending time with him will help you to decide if the attraction runs deeper than the surface.

3. Hit Him Up On Messenger

Have you ever felt slightly bolder while talking behind a screen? Use this as a tool to your advantage when trying to talk to a shy guy. “Texting takes some of the pressure before meeting in person,” University of California, Berkeley graduate Jasmine Galeana said. “It relieves you from having to deal with the details of where to meet or what to eat.” It also gives you the opportunity to carry a longer conversation with him since time won’t feel limited. He will feel more willing to speak his mind freely. Talking over text will also make him feel better because of the distance and the ability for him to think over what he could say.

4. Take The Lead

Imagine, you feel the conversation slowly dying. You try to hurry and think of a topic to grab onto, but the conversation slips from between your fingers as silence consumes the both of you. Talk about awkward. Steer clear of long periods of silence. Prepare to take control of the conversation in advance. Try to get him to participate by asking him questions he would have an answer to, then build off of that by exchanging your thoughts. For instance, talk about his family, school or hobbies; anything he might feel passionate about. “I’d like her to try to get to know me first so it’d be like a comfortable kind of relationship,” UC Berkeley sophomore Siu Fuimaono said. Don’t corner him and make it feel like an interrogation by asking him so many questions. Keep it light and exchange some things about yourself as well.

5. Crossed Arms Don’t Always Mean a Bad Thing

Do you ever notice how when you see a guy you like, you might fix your hair, adjust your posture or ask your friend if she can see any pieces of food stuck to your teeth? Well, this works for guys as well. Pay close attention to the way his body reacts around you. If he can’t find the words to express how he feels, then his body will do all the talking for him. Don’t feel alarmed if he closes himself off by crossing his arms during a conversation. Often a shy guy uses self-touch as a mechanism for comfort. If he tries to hold eye contact, mimics your movements or finds ways to touch you, then you might just have his attention. However, if you can’t keep the butterflies in your stomach at bay these signs may go unnoticed, so keep an eye out.

6. Kill Him With Kindness

Kindness never hurt anybody, so smile more or make him laugh to reassure him. Try complimenting his intelligence, humor or style. Any compliment will boost his confidence. However, sprinkle in physical kindness with caution. Always keep his personal space in mind. Nobody likes someone invading their space without consent. If you think he looks uncomfortable, then give him some distance. After feeling comfortable, he might build the courage to lead conversations or act affectionate towards you.

7. Meet Him Halfway

Have you ever met someone who feels passionate about the same things you do and all of a sudden, the world disappears around you as that topic now becomes the center of attention? It feels great, right? I bet you afterward, no one can make you shut up about it. Even if you might not have the same interests as him, stay open-minded. You might develop an interest in it. Sharing similar interests also gives you an excuse to talk more, but don’t try to a fake it when you don’t actually feel the same way. If he catches you lying, things can turn awkward really quickly. Instead, try asking him why he likes it. Interests will also give you great ideas for potential dates.

8. Bluntness Will Make It Crystal Clear

If he can’t read between the lines, then pause, inhale deeply and take initiative. “I suck at getting subtle hints and stuff, so if a girl was just straight up and told me then that would be nice,” Fuimaono said. If you decide to ask him out, do it in person, not over text. This will earn you some respectable points. It will also make him give you an honest answer more quickly rather than thinking it over too much. You’ll get the opportunity to read his expression and see if he actually enjoys the idea of going out on a date.

9. Coffee Shops vs. Plane Rides

Have you ever gone out on a date so outrageous that you texted your friends begging them to help you escape? Remember to keep his shyness in mind when picking what to do for your date. Pick something that you both will find enjoyable, but that also doesn’t revolve around too much human interaction. “When I was asked out it was low-key. We had coffee so the pressure was low,” UC Berkeley senior Robert Anderson said. “Funnily enough, someone else asked me out at the same time but I literally was scared off. They asked if I wanted to go on a plane ride with them, with them as the pilot.” Don’t try too hard to impress him either. It will end up feeling unnatural for the both of you.

В 10.В Everyone Finds Confidence Attractive

Don’t feel afraid of taking the first step. You never know, he might feel just as nervous as you. “Avoid societal standards that say approaching someone is masculine and think of it more of like going after what you want,” UC Berkeley senior Jasmine Monfared said. If you have a shy guy in mind that you really want to ask out, give it a try. If not, you might end up regretting it and wishing you did. Don’t forget, you got to risk it to get the biscuit.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

I think it’s time for a bit of a dating rules revolution, because despite the fact that the rule of men asking women being old-fashioned, women still do not seem to be asking men out. So how do you ask a guy out over text? Despite the fact that 95 percent of men think a woman asking them out is “hot,” I feel like I don’t see it happening that often among my friends. Instead, a lot of my friends are sitting around waiting for people to come to them. And they’re missing out on things they want.

So, why isn’t it happening more? Probably because, no matter who you are, asking someone out can be awkward. So, so awkward. It’s also really brave. You could end up with a “no” and feel embarrassed. But you know what? If that’s the worst that could happen, you’ll get over it. In like two seconds. Because, especially if it’s someone you’re talking to on an app or just meet randomly, that person has literally 0 percent impact on your life. None.

I had to develop the nerve to ask people out. Mostly because, well, I just didn’t get asked out a lot. It just didn’t happen. Yeah, it’s kind of annoying, but it’s not the worst thing in the world and because of it I learned to be way braver. And once you do it a few times, it’s really not that big of a deal. I promise.

So here are some suggestions to get you started. (Warning: they may sound cheesy. Asking someone out may feel like it’s beyond your comfort zone, and that’s OK, you have to get on board.)

1. We’ve Been Talking, So Let’s Just Do This

OK, I’m starting with something extra-bold and we can get easier from there. Sometimes if you’ve just been chatting for a long time, you need to break out of the conversation and just go for it.

I went out with a guy from Hinge because he spontaneously suggested something that night and I happened to be free and liked his chutzpah. It also feels like there’s less pressure when you ask someone out this way — yes, you’re putting yourself out there, but because it’s last minute there are no hard feelings if it doesn’t work out. Then, the ball can be in their court for next time.

2. Something In Common, Let’s Go

If you find something in common — literally anything — capitalize on that. You studied the same thing, have the same hobby, want to see the same film — just go for it!

It’s often tempting to wait for the perfect moment when you’re talking to someone — you think that there will be some obvious cue, everything will click, and you’ll be able to ask them out. But sometimes, you have to make your own luck — and your own timing. So jump on commonalities when you find them.

3. The Open Feeler

If you want the most basic of all the basics, this is it. Just ask them out for a drink. Yeah, it’s not catchy or witty, but also you know no one is going to be surprised or weirded out by it.

It’s good to remember that the person you’re chatting to (most likely) expects this to be leading to meeting up in real life. It’s not going to take them totally by surprise — you are chatting to a potential romantic interest, after all. And asking someone out for a drink is about as straightforward as you can get. It is 100 percent the expected thing for someone to say in this situation, so it’s the safest bet.

4. I’m Just Jumping In (With Something Low Pressure)

If a drink seems too intimidating right off the bat, that’s OK. Suggesting a coffee is a great way to ease yourself in. It’s similar to going out for a drink, but even less pressure — because it’s easier to get away from if it’s not going well. You can spend less time and have it come to a natural end.

It also feels less intimidating to be asked out for a coffee than a drink — so if the person you’re talking to is also a little shy, it may be a welcome invitation. As someone who has trouble saying no and has spent four hours on a date I didn’t want to be on, sometimes sticking to coffee is best.

5. Netflix And Chill

Hey, sometimes you don’t want to go on a date. Sometimes you just want a hookup. I’m not a fan of having someone you don’t know come to your house — I like a public setting first. But if you’ve gone out with them or done whatever makes you feel comfortable and then you decide you want to get laid, a binge-watching marathon is basically code for the horizontal mambo (which is awkward nerd code for hooking up).

Of course, don’t suggest a show that you actually want to watch and pay attention to, because you may end up resenting the distraction. Better stick with something that is totally OK in the background.

6. Something Completely Random

Maybe you don’t have anything in common so far, but they seem like they’d be good conversation and you want to meet up. Jump on something they’ve said and suggest you do it together.

Yeah it’s a little cheesy, but it gets things moving. Pretty much everyone is in agreement that moving from texting to actually dating is awkward, so they won’t judge you harshly if it feels a little forced. They’ll probably just be grateful you’re doing some of the heavy lifting for them.

7. The Follow Up

Fun fact about asking people out: You may do it more than once. If you’ve had a good time on the first date and think they did too, suggest seeing each other again. Not 100 percent sure if they want to go for a second date? Well, they’re probably wondering the same thing about you. So be brave and put it out there.

Reference any silly, fun things from the first date and just say it. I mean, you’ve met them once, if they say no then it’s really not a big deal. I’ve had maybe a billion people say no to me. It happens to everyone who puts themselves out there.

But it’s better to put yourself out there and get a pie in your face once and a while— because you’ll get a lot of fun stuff along with the occasional pie. Plus, even if they say no you can be proud and self-assured that you tried.

The article was originally posted on January 12, 2016. It was updated on August 12, 2019.

Can or should you ask a guy out on a first date?

A question I hear more than any other is whether or not women can ask a guy out. For many of us, the answer is an emphatic Hell no.

Earlier this year, fellow PT Blogger Michael Mills conducted a study that suggested “most women do not want to ask anyone out on a first date.”

Recently, Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann made controversial headlines when she revealed that she didn’t allow her daughters to ask boys out: “Our girls are not allowed to do that in our house. They have to wait for the boy to call.”

Naturally, heated media backlash ensued. Angry criticism and diatribes directed against Bachmann’s outdated sexist ideals flooded the Internet. Evolved commenters on Jezebel.com, a popular female-oriented news site, wrote about how they asked their husbands out on the first date and how they remain perfectly fine, non-whorish people.

How do men feel about being asked out?

Well, dating expert Evan Marc Katz, who on his website pegs himself as a “personal trainer for women who want to fall in love,” disagrees with women taking charge in procuring dates.

To the question, “Should women ask men out on dates?” Katz responded no. He warned that women could come across as “aggressive, desperate, and masculine.” Rather, he encourages women to use their “feminine wiles to get men to ask them out.” For example, at a party, women should stand in their potential suitor’s eye line and offer a come hither smile when eye contact is made.

Like Lawrence O’Donnell, does Katz get the last word? Hell no.

Which is why I sought counsel on Em&Lo, one of my go-to relationship advice websites, to see what they thought about female-dominated courtship.

The straight married guy Ben suggests that before a girl asks a guy out, she should gauge whether or not he’s really interested in her through the ancient art of flirting. He writes: “If he returns the flirt then start ramping it up. Really, everyone—man or woman—should have a pretty clear idea what the answer is to ‘Will you go out with me?’ before you even ask it.”

The gay committed guy Bradford “bet[s] there are even more [men] who’d be welcome to women making the first move.” He contends that not every man wants a quiet “damsel in distress.”

And finally, single straight guy Max, has mixed feelings on the issue, explaining that while a girl asking him out is intriguing and could be construed as “awesome or amusing,” men “CAN get freaked out and you CAN look desperate if you do this in the wrong manner.” This is somewhat related to Katz’s analysis.

The wrong manner is whatever strips power from men, such as making the decisions on where to eat or what day to go out.

After reading all these other people’s opinions—do you know the answer?

At the end of the day, it comes down to your own personal preference.

If you are the type of person who can handle romantic rejection, then you can and should ask out whomever you want. Not to say that you will absolutely be rejected—but, there is a chance that you will hear a “nope,” a “sorry,” or a “not interested.”

The fear of hearing these vetoes has basically been the burden of men for generations. Lots of guys have learned to brush it off—so it’s not like one rejection will leave permanent emotional scarring.

Or will it? My rejection from a certain Ivy League school still plagues me a decade later. Which is why I don’t like to put myself in those kinds of scenarios. Again, it’s my preference.

Similarly, if you are the type of woman who wants to be traditionally wooed, then don’t ask a guy out. This is the type of person I am. I don’t want a guy to know that I have feelings for him until he makes it obvious that he has feelings for me. It has less to do with being coy than it has to do with being vulnerable. Chet Baker’s song about falling in love too easily is basically written for me—so it is emotionally safer for me to wait to be asked. Then, I don’t have to worry whether or not it’s a pity date, he doesn’t “like me,” etc.

However, if you don’t care about traditional mating rituals or standard rules of dating (and plenty of people don’t), then you can and should ask out whomever you want. After all, waiting is not all that fun, especially for impatient folks who have places to go and people to see.

What you shouldn’t let affect your decision-making is what other people deem “right” or “wrong.” While I happen to agree with Bachmann’s opinion (something I will probably never say again), I don’t agree with how she forces her daughters to comply with her preferences. Individuals should be able to make their own decisions based on what they feel is right for them.

This is your life—you get to make the choices.

If your gut tells you that a guy is interested, but really shy, then follow your intuition. Each potential date is different—so while you may feel comfortable about asking Jim out, you may not feel the same way with Mike.

What does comfortable mean, exactly? Typically, it means you are relatively certain his answer is going to be “yes”.

If you’re the type of person who is deeply stung by rejection, then don’t ask anyone out. Why put yourself in a situation that’s likely to hurt you?

Asking a guy out is not so much about the answer that he gives you, but more about how you are going to feel, given that answer. You can and should put your heart and your welfare first.

After all, is there anyone more important than you?

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Long gone are the days of us women waiting around for guys to ask us out. It’s the 21 st century which means, girls, that we’re allowed to take control. Asking your crush out isn’t as scary as you may think either. No doubt you’re panicking and making a massive deal of it in your head but you shouldn’t be. Just relax. It’s easy – he won’t bite.

On that note, I think it’s time we get creative too. It’s time we think outside the box and ask him out in a cute, memorable and sometimes even cheesy way. You want your proposal to stand out to him, it needs to be unforgettable so that you will be too.

Here’s 10 cute ways to ask a guy out…

How to ask a guy out through facebook

Send Him A Note

Simple but effective. When he leaves his desk/work area simply walk on by and leave a note asking him out. Be sure to give him a flirty smile as he passes you to go back to his desk too. Just make sure your note can’t be mistaken as trash!

How to ask a guy out through facebook

Send Him An Email

We really are in the new age now. How about asking him out by email? There’s no risk of it getting lost and it saves you having to see him and get embarrassed. Perhaps suggest a date on it and send him your number.

Ask Him If He Has A Girlfriend

Once you’re in conversation with him, simply ask him if he has a girlfriend. Once he says no (hopefully!) you can steer the conversation your way and it should end with the pair of you arranging a date.

Give Him Your Number In Style

Giving him your number can be simple or it can be memorable. If he’s a sports fan, write your name and number on a baseball or basketball and give it to him. If he reads, slip it into whatever he’s reading currently. You get the idea!

Plan A Treasure Hunt

Why not draw him a map to follow and tell him he has to find the hidden treasure by a certain time. Ideally the hidden treasure will be you sitting in a restaurant or somewhere similar.

Send Him Love Hearts

Ah Love Hearts, those classic little sweets! Begin eating a pack in front of him and then purposely offer him one that says ‘Be Mine’. Perhaps follow it up with a complimenting one. He’ll soon get the idea.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

Give Him A Present

Again, if he’s away from his desk or workspace sneak up and leave something on his desk. This time you could leave a small box and inside it could be your note and perhaps information on a restaurant reservation or tickets to the big game.

Shock Him With A Parking Ticket

If he’s got a sense of humor (and a car!) this one will be great. Write out your note in the style and shape of a parking ticket and leave it on his windshield. If things work out, both of you will be telling people about it for years to come.

Put A Message In A Bottle

How cute is this idea? You do require some props but not many and they’ll be easy to find. Get an empty bottle (preferably glass) and fill it with a bit of sand an slip your note inside before sticking a cork in the top to seal it. You can then leave your bottle anywhere for your crush to find. It doesn’t matter if it’s his desk, his car, his doorstep or anywhere else, just so long as he finds it.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

Just Ask Him!

If all else fails, just ask him! This may not be the cutest idea or the most creative but it’s certainly been proven effective time and time again. Gather your courage, compose yourself and simply walk up to him. You can either start a regular conversation first or you can jump in at the deep end and ask him. It doesn’t matter, just so long as you ask. It’s best if you have a clear idea of where you’d like to go on a date first, this way you’re less likely to get flustered and mess up your words. He’ll love that you had the courage to ask him outright and he’ll probably find your blush when you do cute too.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

So there you have it, ladies, 10 fun and cute ways to ask a guy out. They’re all memorable, creative and if all goes well they’ll get the job done. Just remember, the worst that can happen is he can say no so there’s nothing to worry about. You can do this, just be brave and be creative.

Let me know if you’ve tried any of these before or if you do, I’d love to hear from you!

Anybody who has ever done the online dating thing for a while knows the feeling of seeing “You have a new match!” or, better yet, “You have a new message!” pop up on your screen. It gets better still when that match or message turns out to be from someone with great pictures (though not too great, if you know what I mean . . .) and a creative and informative bio (yet not overstated). So far, so good.

Things continue to look hopeful after you exchange the first few messages. You trade a few more messages, and you think, “I definitely want to meet this person!” You trade a few more messages, and you think, “I want to meet this person . . . what gives?” You trade still a few more messages, and now you think, “I wanted to meet this person, but it’s not clear this person wants to meet me, but they’re still texting me, so . . .

I started to catch on to this phenomenon when I noticed that women are now including things in their bio such as, “Not looking for a pen pal.” Talking to my female friends, it seems there is a small epidemic (or large, depending on whom you ask) of guys who are happy to flood your inbox with messages . . . and then keep flooding your inbox with messages, without ever making a move. Do we have a bunch of dudes running around on dating apps who are too afraid to ask women out? Is there a sudden spike in a desire for female pen pals? Or is there something else going on here?

With the help from some fellow men, let me try to explain the main reasons some guys tend to chat forever with no date in sight—and what you can do to make it stop.

01. He has been burned one too many times.

I don’t speak for everyone, of course, but my experience with online dating has gone something like this: find a girl I like, we “match,” I send a message, and I may or may not hear back. The ones I hear back from, we may have further interactions of substance; we may not. If our interactions are going well and everything else checks out, I’ll ask her out, and she might say yes. Or she might say something ambiguous. Or she might ignore my overture altogether. Sometimes she’ll even keep chatting with me as if I didn’t just ask her out. That’s particularly awkward. “Um, did you get that message that included me asking you on a date? Or should I ask it again? Or should I try again at a later date and pretend like it was the first time?”

We men feel like we’ve had to adjust our approaches online based upon the seemingly random responses we get from women.

“I message ‘til it gets interesting, then pop out the date question, and that usually works,” Jamie says. “But then sometimes I’ll message all day and then go for it that night, never to hear back from her.” You might be thinking to yourself, she texted him all day, and ghosted him after he asked her out? That’s crazy. And you’d be right. I can relate to this experience, and it seems lots of guys can, too. Like Sabastian, for instance. He says: “I find that by asking too quickly, they tend to ghost.” And as a result, we can’t help but be a bit gun shy the next time. Maybe it was too soon? Maybe I came on “too strong.” Yadda yadda yadda.

02. He just needs a little nudge.

In this situation, the solution is in your control, which is hopefully refreshing. A guy who is nervous about “rushing things” might need you to give him a nudge. You could start innocuously. “What are you up to this weekend?” is a nice way to get the ball rolling. And if he asks you, be sure to make it sound like you have the time to get together. Even if I have a million things to do over a weekend, but I want to make time for a woman, I’ll tell her about one or two things, but not all. Careful, though, with saying things like, “I cleared my schedule and am looking forward to a relaxing weekend,” which might be interpreted as, “I cleared my schedule and am looking forward to a relaxing weekend by myself.”

You could also do something a little more obvious (but still light and flirtatious) like, “That’s funny. Are you this charming in real life?” And then he might say, “No, actually, I’m so much cooler online, so I prefer to remain here behind this screen.” But that seems unlikely. I bet he might say, “Not sure, but I’m willing to let you be the judge of that. How about we grab a drink this weekend?”

03. He may just not be that into you.

First of all, it’s worth saying that a situation in which a guy messages a woman for a week or more without making a move is not normal. That said, whenever a woman is getting mixed messages from a guy, Greg Behrendt, coauthor of the best-selling book He’s Just Not That Into You, is quick to point out that men really aren’t all that complicated. So in other words, if it seems like he’s not asking you out fast enough, the most likely explanation is that he’s just not that into you. This is a tidy answer to the lack of primary motivation.

04. He may be weighing his options.

Less cut-and-dried is the reality that a lot of guys like to hedge their bets when meeting women on a dating app.

This intel is likely a downer, but Behrendt actually says it’s a good thing to know, and I agree. Because the sooner you know a guy doesn’t appreciate you or may be putting you on hold to pursue another woman, the sooner you can move on to someone who does. Don’t waste your time with someone unworthy of you, or, as Behrendt puts it, “Don’t waste the pretty.”

“On dating apps everyone is talking to multiple people, so I’ve slowed down on women in order to see how it works out with someone else,” Adam admits.

It’s not unusual to start conversations with multiple people in hopes of at least one turning into a date. But lightning can strike twice, and in the case of connections online, often times they come in bunches, for better or for worse. So what does a guy do? Go out with all of them at once? Go out with one and keep messaging the others? Go out with one and immediately stop messaging the others?

There isn’t necessarily a perfect answer. Of course, that’s not to say that you need to give up on a dude the moment he seems to be dragging his feet. But what it does mean is that you definitely shouldn’t wait around for him for long. Ask him out yourself or give him a nudge. If he still doesn’t step up to the plate, that’s his loss.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

Traditional courtship dictates a seemingly simple concept: men pursue women. But this cardinal rule doesn’t always translate when you’re dating in the digital age.

Let’s face it — you often find yourself fumbling your way through online dating. And if you’re feeling lost when you log in to your dating site du jour, your eRomeo probably has some questions of his own. The process of taking things to the next level — getting a guy you meet online to ask you to hang out offline — isn’t always as smooth as Rico Suave.

Every day, I help singles navigate online dating. Take it from a gal who knows (and works in an office that’s 60 % male) — the opposite sex is just as clueless as we are when it comes to finding digital love. Despite the fact that Match.com, the first online dating site, was founded in 1992 (which is pretty old for anything in the tech world), in reality this form of dating is infantile in terms of creating a massive dating culture shift. So, step away from the keyboard a minute and consider that men don’t always know how to ask you out in the worldwide web.

When you meet in person, the guys’ etiquette for courting is obvious: develop some chemistry, get your number. and try desperately not to slosh any of his drink on your skirt. And if he doesn’t ask for your digits, you can, well, hint a little. Whether it’s conscious or not, most of us have done it, leaning into him, playing it coy to encourage him to make a move.

But when you make dating digital, flirtatious body language and the rest of our feminine, chemistry-inducing wiles are ctrl + alt + deleted. So while of course you want your match of the moment to virtually sweep you off your feet, the truth is that you need to shift his game until you get face-to-face. or until online dating becomes as natural as kissing your date goodnight.

That means adapting some of your best flirty practices to the web so you can move things offline. If he hasn’t asked you out after six emails (three each way), follow my rules for hinting that it’s time to take your relationship from the cloud to IRL.

1. Mention Something Current. It’s cool that you bonded over your favorite museums from your respective profiles. But to meet in person, you need to remind him that you’re here and now, not merely an online pen pal. Mention a current exhibit, what you’ve heard about it and that you’d love to check it out. Then ask if he’s been. Hopefully he’ll mention that you should head to the museum — or whatever activity you’re discussing — together.

2. Bring Up The Weekend. Even though most first online dates take place after work, mentioning the weekend is a surefire way to get your match thinking about wooing you. Ask what he’s up to during his time off and hopefully he’ll respond with his plans and the possibility of including you in them — even if it ends up being for Monday.

3. Be Bold. If all else fails, you’ll have to be digitally daring. When subtle hints don’t work, simply say that you’d love to meet. The trick here is to make it a statement, not a question. That way, when he responds, he can officially ask you out.

eFlirting has officially changed the courtship dynamic, but remember that chivalry is not dead — it just needs a jumpstart once in a while. A tradition dating back to the Middle Ages can’t be deleted from history — after all, we have the hard drive to back everything up! Guys should absolutely still take a page from ye old Knights Code of Chivalry and act accordingly once you meet. But even though things are literally in black and white online, there’s still a lot of gray on processes and expectations for chivalry 2.0. Don’t be afraid to take matters into your own hands and shade in some color.

You’ve always wanted to know how you can ask a guy out over text without appearing desperate? You are surely in the right place. Here is how you can.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

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How to ask a guy out through facebook

So, there is this guy you have been eyeing for a long time thinking (and probably yearning) he’ll walk up to you one day and ask you out? You know within yourself he’s got everything you could ever want in a man and for this, you have waited for several months hoping and probably praying he’ll one day do the needful. Your waiting appears to be endless as this guy seems not to understand that you are falling for him earnestly. No blushing girl, its time to make things happen. Yes, everyone is aware of the cultural block surrounding a girl making the first move. It may not be written down in pen and ink, but its letters can be read vividly in our daily conducts. Even with rapid civilizations witnessed in our days, there are still fewer girls asking a guy out than do boys. Nevertheless, you can ask a guy out without seeming desperate. Many guys have opined they wouldn’t mind if a girl can be so courageous as to ask them out. Now, you may be telling yourself “But I’m shy,” the truth is, you don’t need courage as high as a mountain to pass your message across. In as much as you have enough boldness to send your crush a text, you may just be setting the stage right for a relationship between you both.

Take the risk! Ask that guy out now!

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It would amount to insincerity to make it look like there are no risks in you asking a guy out. There really are. But you know what? Life itself is full of risks. We take risks every day, sometimes, life-threatening ones. Every time you set out on a journey, do you know you stand the risk of not returning home? In spite of this, you still go out anyway. The good news is that the risk associated with you making the first move is not lethal. You don’t have to lose your life or property. At worst, you get a No. And who hasn’t at a point or the other suffered rejection before? Even men that the society has made the askers are often faced with rejection from ladies. The truth is, they shake it off and move on. That said, you are asking him out casually over a phone and that means if you are so smart at it, he wouldn’t even smell anything desperate hence, no risk. In fact, he may instead, feel obligated. Here are some of the smart ways you can casually ask a guy out over text without him tagging you cheap of feeling you are desperate:

#1. Ask the guy how his day went

How to ask a guy out through facebook

It all has to begin with a friendship kind of thing. And one very good way, if the guy isn’t totally strange to you, is to casually take and show interest in his welfare. At this stage, you aren’t alluding to anything date and he can’t see anything desperate in your tone. Your text can be something like this: “Hey, Dan! I’m just thinking of how busy we can sometimes be that we forget to ask after others. I hope I’m not guilty of this already. How has your day been?” See how you have beautifully crafted the message that he doesn’t know your intention! Of course, he’ll take it as you’re just concerned about his welfare but within you, you know it’s more than that. You are building familiarity and making ways for a seamless conversation between you both. His response here has a lot to say on every other step you’ll probably take. If he fails to respond or he replies with a one-word response, that means you stand no chance. He isn’t interested in you in any way. But if he texts you back explaining how his day went, probably with details you didn’t even request, girl, you’re surely on point!

#2. Ask the guy if he can hang out with you on your common hobby

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This is premised on the fact that you know a little about the guy. Let’s say you love soccer for instance and you are sure he likes the game too, you can send the guy a text requesting that you both see a match together one weekend. Consider framing your text this way: “I’ve missed seeing some nice matches in the stadium lately and I can’t wait to watch my team play live again. Would you like to hang out with me?” This sounds more like you need someone to share the excitement of the hour with and not as a lady desperate for a date. And because he too likes the game, he probably would have said yes even before completing the reading of the text. The best approach here is to find out on your own, the hobby of that guy and tailor your request after it.

#3. Send him a text to ask if he’ll be free for coffee

Consider inviting the guy for a coffee over the weekend. It gives him all the opportunity and space to ask you out if truly you are on his mind. But you aren’t just going to ask him in a manner he’ll be suspecting anything, it has to be casual with no desperation. A sample text can read thus: “It is going to be a free weekend for me this week and I’m considering spending some time at shisha(or any destination you’re sure he’s familiar with), would you be free for coffee?” You know you have to be careful of who you bring to your home so it is not recommended that a guy you aren’t too sure of being invited to your place for coffee. However, your choice place of the meeting must be one he can be comfortable to express himself to you.

There are many signs that can let you know if someone has a crush on you, or if someone likes you when you see them in person. But what if it’s over the internet, or to be more precise, over Facebook? With this social network becoming a common platform for friendships and affairs, it becomes crucial for a girl to know if a guy likes her through Facebook. This LoveBondings article tells you how.

How to ask a guy out through facebook

There are many signs that can let you know if someone has a crush on you, or if someone likes you when you see them in person. But what if it’s over the internet, or to be more precise, over Facebook? With this social network becoming a common platform for friendships and affairs, it becomes crucial for a girl to know if a guy likes her through Facebook. This LoveBondings article tells you how.

Different Guys With Different Approach!

If the guy is shy, he would not make his actions public, so you can expect getting many private inbox messages, wherein he attempts to start a conversation. While the bold ones may constantly write on your wall, or tag you in their updates.

If you’re an active Facebook user, we really needn’t bother getting into the things that guys tend to do to get your attention. From showy profile pictures to those annoying messages in your inbox asking for your number because they need to say something “important”; it’s very easy to differentiate the genuine guys from the sleazy ones.

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Now you would think―why would you add these sleazy guys in the first place? You know, that’s the thing about Facebook. You get a friend request from a guy you knew in middle school, and with time, you find out that he has turned a total cheap nutcase! Or, it might be a good friend from high school, who has now added you and is sweet enough to follow your activities, in a good way. If you think about it, you must pay attention to his personality rather than what he does. This Facebook guy could either be: A shy friend, an acquaintance trying to know you better, or a guy you knew ages ago who has turned into a weirdo-cum-stalker. Depending upon the category, the question to be asked is, do all kinds of ‘likings’ weigh the same? Nonetheless, the following section will tell you what this guy may do on FB to give you the hints.

How to Know if He Likes You: The Things He Would Do

There are a variety of things that he would do which will convey that you are one of the reasons he logs in to this site. He wouldn’t miss a chance to make you notice his presence around, and he will do all it takes to remind you of him. However, before you begin imagining things, know that not all guys are the same. While some may make it obvious to the world by constantly writing on your wall, some would only send private inbox messages, or perhaps, send you messages offline. These and a few more points are discussed in details in the following list.

Likes Your Pictures, Even if They Were Posted Ages Ago!

Though Facebook is easily accessible even through our smartphones, for guys, taking an effort to browse through your old albums and pics, and to actually like or comment on them, definitely says a lot! Okay, say for argument’s sake, maybe he was too bored and randomly went through all your pics. Well, think again, does this seem to be the best thing he could do when bored? Along with constant likes on your pics (not on every single one, as that would seem too desperate), expect some flattering compliments in the comments section.

Tries to Initiate a Conversation Whenever You’re Online

Whenever you go online, he is the first one to initiate a chat, and if you respond to it, he makes sure that the conversation continues ahead. Most guys hate typing too much, and when you ask them the reason for their delayed response, they say that they prefer talking instead. But when this guy is shy and secretly likes you, he will reply to your response instantly.

Sends You Offline Messages

If this guy is the shy type, there are chances that you would see his ‘hi’, ‘how are you’, ‘how have you been’, and similar messages in your inbox frequently. They might not be anything offensive, perhaps very normal messages, but yes, they will be there, almost all the time.

Likes and Comments on Your Statuses

Is his ‘like’ among the initial ones when you post a new picture or status? Are his comments really sweet and flattering? Does he post extra smileys when you write something funny, even when others find it difficult to gauge your sense of humor? If the answer to these questions is a yes, well, we needn’t say more. There is another thing you must notice. His comments will always be in your favor, and if he doesn’t agree with something you’ve written, he will still like it, maybe not comment on it. But yes, he will do at least something. If you wish, try it and see for yourself.

If You Have Something in Common, Tags You Frequently

Facebook is a good way to know about the likes and interests of others. One look at a person’s profile and you know if you share something common with them or not. If you and this guy happen to share a few similar interest, he might not miss any chance to tag you in his statuses, posts, shares, etc., that are relevant to those interests. For example, if you both are avid fans of the same actor, writer, or player, expect to be tagged in related posts.

Puts Thoughtful Posts On Your Wall

Girls are very expressive when it comes to their moods through constant status updates, well, most of them! For instance, if you write on your wall that you missed the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy, you see him post a YouTube link for the same. Or, if you post a sad smiley as your status message, you might get a funny picture or video from him. Bottom line: A good guy who genuinely likes you will notice your moods and respond to cheer you up.

Takes Advantage of the ‘Poke Feature’ Every Now and Then

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We don’t need to explain this. The line says it all!

Note that, not all guys are the same. There might be a possibility that he might not do any of these things, or may just drop in a comment or two, once in a blue moon. In fact, some guys think that expressing their feelings through the internet is perhaps a little impersonal and insensitive. But you know what―no matter what he does, he will find a way to make you think of him, and in time, make it really obvious. If you like him too, just play along, or else, if he seems to be too creepy, block him; if he seems harmless and you do know him well, just avoid.

Be careful if this guy is someone you have never met in person. Perhaps you ended up adding him because of some online game or something, or maybe because you have many common friends. You really don’t know when this decent-looking guy may turn out to be a psycho freak. So, keep your guard up.