How to ask a stranger out

How to ask a stranger out

No matter how smooth you are, I don’t think anyone is “great” at knowing how to ask out a stranger. For example, there’s me. Last week, I’m pretty sure I met my soulmate. I was walking my bad self into the elevator of my building and there he was, basically just waiting in there for me like the universe had gift-wrapped him and stuck him in the elevator shaft for the sole purpose of us running into each other. He was adorkable. I was adorkable. We looked at each other a few times and both opened our mouths like we were going to say something, and the sexual tension was so real that I could basically hear the cheesy Nicholas Sparks soundtrack welling up in the background. And then. the door to his floor opened. He lingered for a second. I awkwardly stared at him for a second. And then he stepped out, and the sixth floor of the building swallowed him up, never to be seen again.

You know how people talk about the “butterfly effect,” how any insignificant choice we make in our lives could actually be a huge catalyst that is responsible for a ton of other stuff happening? I feel like that was a definite Butterfly Moment, and I blew it. For all I know, Sixth Floor Guy and I could have been married this time next year, living on our own personal island after jointly launching a company that makes cupcakes for puppies and sold for a billion dollars.

In other words, because I didn’t nut up in the elevator last week, I wrecked my life forever.

dramatic. Even if I had asked him out, it could have been six kinds of terrible. To quote Taylor Swift for the infinitieth time in my life, “It’s gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames.”

Still, I think we could all benefit from summoning enough gall to ask out a stranger on occasion. In a weird PLOT TWIST that makes my cowardice even more pathetic, I have been asked out by perfectly nice strangers twice in my lifetime, and both times I was actually kind of charmed and nobody died. It’s not as awkward as you think it’ll be. Trust me. And if you’re still not feeling totally confident about it, take these tips to heart before you go for it:

1. Read their body language

You can totally tell when somebody’s making flirty eyes on the subway versus when they have shoved a book in front of their faces and really, reeeeeally don’t want to be anybody’s broski right now. If it’s the latter, best try not to fish in that particular pond today.

2. Don’t overthink it

Having the thought “I should ask this human out” just once is enough times to tell you that you need to go do it. This world is freaking huge, Cinderella. Odds are you’re never going to see that person again, so don’t leave it up to fate. Just go.

3. Get the words out right away

If you beat around the bush, they’re going to suspect that you’re about to pull out some kind of self-help guide and/or sell them on your newly formed cult. Use your human words as efficiently as possible.

4. Don’t apologize or make yourself seem small

You know what you want, and there’s no reason to be sorry about it! They’re not going to think you’re genuine if you’re shrinking into yourself or having second thoughts based on their initial reaction. Assume that when you ask they might double take at first, because it’s not the kind of thing that happens every day, but hold your ground.

5. Find some common ground if you can

“You hate traffic? I hate traffic! Let’s make a baby.”

OK, kidding (mostly). But if you notice something that you have in common with them, or even an experience you’re sharing at that moment, latch on to it. It will humanize the weird situation a lot more.

6. Have your phone ready

90% of the time you hit up a stranger to go out with you, you’ll both be on your way somewhere, possibly in a rush. Have your phone ready, or if you’re feeling super savvy, write down your number before you even approach so you can seamlessly hand it off. That way they have your number, but you’re putting significantly less pressure on them. They can think about it before they call or not call you.

7. Be casual about it

Use the tone you would use to ask about the weather or the time, if you didn’t have Siri at your finger tips and still bothered to ask people archaic stuff like that. You want to seem confident but not aggressive.

8. Know when to drop it (like it’s hot; I’m sorry)

If they continue to look uncomfortable after you have introduced your charming self, they’re probably not going to magically become more comfortable with the situation in another minute. Some humans were not made for spontaneous public romance. Be nice, and leave with your head held high. There are plenty more worthy singles in the sea.

9. Pick a place and time

If they say yes, HOORAY! But you’re not in the end game yet. If this is the kind of take-your-number-and-dash scenario (i.e., you’re somewhere crowded and fast-moving), then walk away and trust they’ll get in touch with you if it is meant to happen. If you’re in a relatively non-crowded, not crazy place, you should have a time and place in mind to show them you’re genuinely interested and not just doing this for kicks.

10. Don’t be embarrassed for even a second

No matter who you are or how healthy your self-esteem is, you’re risking a real blow to your ego doing this kinda thing, and you should be proud of yourself for being bold. Not a lot of people have the guts to walk into such an unknown with that much vulnerability. You didn’t do anything wrong or bad or weird, and odds are if someone says no, they have totally legitimate reasons for it — they’ve got a partner, or they’re not looking to date, or the whole thing just too them as too much of a surprise. Whatever it is, you can’t take it personally. It’s a stranger, after all, and you’ll probs never see them again.

11. Be a little smug

YOU’RE A STUNNER. No matter what happens you gotta walk off with some mad swagger to either make them look forward to seeing you again, or show them a little bit of what they just missed.

Be the wind to your own sails and all that, but also let’s think about this a little bit.

By Alec Esteban Cudmore, St. Edward’s University

Culture x November 6, 2016

How to ask a stranger out

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Ask Out That Cute Stranger

Be the wind to your own sails and all that, but also let’s think about this a little bit.

By Alec Esteban Cudmore, St. Edward’s University

You wanted to ask her out, but it would have been too embarrassing.

You wanted to talk to him, but he got off the bus two stops ago. You wanted to make the move, but something held you back. Was it the fear of rejection, or was it because it would have felt rude to approach them?

There are a lot of beautiful, interesting people out there, but how are you supposed to meet them? How could you possibly think to intrude someone else’s life?

How to ask a stranger outImage via TheLastFM

When people chicken out, are they being socially conscious, or missing out on a great opportunity to get to know someone? It’s tough to know the difference. Asking out strangers can be a nerve-wracking ordeal, but I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be. At the end of the day, striking up a conversation with someone, finding chemistry and asking them out on a date is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I’ve taken it upon myself to craft a few important questions to ask yourself before deciding to approach. Hopefully they will serve you well.

1. Where Am I?

You’ve found yourself in a stressful environment, and I guarantee you it is in your best interest to just walk away. In your perfect world, asking out the pretty girl in the deli would be what brightens up her day. But this is a world where we go to work feeling sick, and have bad days. Sometimes, it’s just not the right time.

A lot of men seem to struggle with asking themselves this question. Dark, decrepit subway train? Sure, seems like a perfect time to go up to the girl and tell her she’s got great legs (not the best opening line).

My favorite is the old “chase you down in the street because they just HAD to tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen” technique. Many of my friends have experienced this. These gestures are intended to appear sincere and courageous—but why is it that they never seem to work? I hear about these guys, these stories and they just disappear. It never transforms into some kind of amazing love story.

My only conclusion is that context really fucking matters. The world is filled with complex people who all have loads of stuff to get done. When you meet someone and find them particularly breathtaking, you tend to dehumanize them. You idolize them, and then forget that they aren’t a goal to be achieved. They’re a person. The server at the deli has a lifetime of memories and anxieties just like you. You are not going to just waltz in and change their life with one question, and the fate of the world doesn’t rest upon whether or not you ask them out. It can honest-to-god wait, if you really care.

So, to all men chasing women down in the street—just stop. You think you’re doing them a favor, but you’re really just serving your own ego. You really just want attention from the pretty girl. Stop and ask yourself where you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing.

2. Have We Engaged in Actual Conversation?

We live in a society where dating apps eliminate a lot of the mystery. When two people meet online and then meet at a coffee shop, oftentimes they already know there is an attraction between the two of them.

But I’m talking about the real world right now, the jungle of love, where you never know where you might just bump into someone you’re crazy about. Where the mystery is still very alive and there is absolutely no telling what’s going to happen. In this world, there are no dating profiles. There is no Facebook stalking. Everything you know about the person depends entirely on your ability to have a conversation.

So you’re thinking about asking out the girl you just crossed paths with at the bookstore. She’s cute, she seems to be interested in books just the same as you and you’ve had way too much caffeine. Before you do it, ask yourself one question: How do we know we even like each other as people? Behold, this is where the magic of conversation comes into play.

Talking to someone is how you figure out if you want to spend more time with them. I promise you, people are not as closed off as you often like to think. When you meet someone you are comfortable with, you open up. If starting with “You’re perfect in every way” or “Can I take you out sometime?” seems to result in more uncomfortable shrugs than enthusiastic smiles, it’s time to start thinking in a new way.

3. Is There a Reasonable Chance I’ll See This Person Again?

Although I believe considerate thinking and meaningful conversation are the cornerstones of a beautiful romantic relationships, behind every duo is a singular moment in which someone decided to put themselves on the line.

Regardless of chemistry, context and mood, there is a moment where self-esteem is risked and hearts stop.

But does that have to be this instant? Is this really the time?

I’m not saying you need to second guess yourself. If you believe there is something special between you and another person, I can’t possibly tell you otherwise. But one must always take into account whether or not there is a true urgency. If there is a chance for you to see this person again, that gives you ample time to consider things. If things don’t have to happen this instant, it’s probably best that they don’t.

This doesn’t mean wait until you die of natural causes. It also doesn’t mean simply waiting a few minutes. But consider the foundation that can be built before throwing it all out there. If there is time, take it. Get to know them a little more. Encounter them a few more times. It’s a lot easier to agree to go on a date with someone you’ve gotten to know at least a little bit.

And of course, if you find yourself in a situation where it just might be your one chance, I say take it. Just do it in a polite way. If they say no, be nice about it. It’s a normal thing to ask someone out. Anyone who makes you out to be some sort of weirdo just for asking is a jerk (unless you ask them out in some insanely creepy way). Be a kind and courteous person, and I promise that you will meet other kind and courteous people.

You may even get to meet them for coffee later.

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But most every other friend of mine has a story about seeing someone on the subway, or the bus, or the line at the drugstore, and wanting to talk to them but not knowing how — and letting the moment pass them by.

How do you strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know without coming off as creepy, while still making it clear that you’re interested?

The short answer: It’s hard.

For the long answer, let’s turn to Jordan Harbinger, host of “The Art of Charm” podcast, where he shares tips on networking and relationship building, romantic and otherwise. Harbinger recently appeared on another podcast — “The James Altucher Show” — and gave some pointers on the dilemma mentioned above.

Back when he was single, Harbinger said he spotted a woman on the train who was texting furiously.

“Are you gonna write the whole book on your phone?” he asked her.

It turned out the woman was really open to conversation, and told him how she wanted to text her friend, but there was no service underground, so she was preparing a message she could send as soon as they surfaced. She and Harbinger ended up getting into a discussion about how annoying it would be if there were cell service on the train, and how they appreciated the respite from technology.

The trick here is that Harbinger didn’t open with a traditional pick-up line (Altucher suggested, “I didn’t get your text. Can you resend it?”) or anything that would directly signal his interest.

That’s because he put himself in the woman’s shoes and tried to figure out what she’d be thinking or worrying about if a random guy started talking to her — he assumed it was safety. So he tried to disarm her.

“That was a pretty nonthreatening general thing to say,” he said of the opening line he ended up using. After they established some rapport, he could theoretically ask for her number. (Harbinger didn’t reveal on the podcast whether he did that.)

Instead of speaking directly to the person he’s interested in, he’ll talk to that person and someone else seated near him. “Now it’s just a conversation and I happen to be leading it,” he told Altucher.

Harbinger’s advice jibes with research on flirting: A 1986 study found that women generally prefer “innocuous” opening lines to direct openers or pick-up lines. Think, “Which team are you rooting for?” or, “How do you like the band?” (Men, on the other hand, tend to prefer direct lines, like, “Can I buy you a drink?”)

Keep in mind, though: Harbinger says not everyone will be open to conversation. This is just a way to boost your chances of getting the object of your affection to talk to you. He told Altucher that getting good at this kind of relationship building ultimately comes down to persistence and patience.

Citing the work of the psychologist Anders Ericsson, he said it’s all about “deliberate practice,” which involves having a goal and figuring out exactly what went wrong if you don’t reach it. What can you say next time that won’t put the person on their guard or turn them off?

The takeaway here seems to be that it helps to imagine how you would feel if you were that person and someone approached you while you were going about your business. If you’d feel even a little bit skeeved out by the line you’re about to use, it’s probably best to find another one.

by Leda Marritz

How to ask a stranger out

Reaching out to complete strangers to ask them for help is something we all have to do from time to time.This essential skill is something few people feel comfortable doing. It can feel both futile and presumptuous. How do you get attention and input from a busy person who doesn’t know you?

As an introvert, I’ve never been very comfortable with it, but after years of practice, I have learned a few things that make it easier — and likelier that I’ll get a response. I’ve sent out cold emails for any number of situations: scoping out a job prospect, asking for a comment or quote for an article, personnel recruiting inquiries, and general informational interviews all come to mind. While the ask in each case is different, the principles in play are fundamentally the same.

Here are five tips to get you started and increase your chance of success, with a real life example from an email I actually wrote in 2010 (with some small details modified, for privacy) when I was considering starting my own non-profit.

1. Make your introduction brief and specific
Introduce yourself in a sentence or two and briefly explain why you are contacting them. Ya know, provide some context! Do you know someone in common? Do you share an industry? Get to the point, and do it pretty quickly.

Example (critical point in bold):

I attended the Wildlife Expo on October 3rd for the first time. I was so impressed by all of the wildlife conservation projects I learned about, particularly their passionate leaders. Your model for supporting their work is the first I’ve heard of its kind, and I’m looking forward to being a part of it.

I have been volunteering with animals since I was a kid. After graduating from Brown in 2004 I became more serious, taking on fostering, volunteer management, and adoption counseling with local animal groups first in New York City and now in San Francisco. I’m now considering starting my own rescue group and am seeking advice from people who have done something similar.

(If you’re writing specifically to find out more about a position or a company where you want to work, it’s often a good idea to add a sentence or two about your interests/background and how you see that overlapping with the person you’re contacting.)

2. Have a clear ask You’re writing for a specific reason — to ask for them to share a comment/quote, to talk to you about their role or a career transition, or to learn about a project they’re working on. Make sure that your ask is clear.
Example (the “ask” in bold):

I’ve been working with a fellow volunteer to try to create a new business model for a domestic animal welfare group. We want to emphasize an integrated approach making sure that humane education, community outreach, sensible spay/neuter policies, and of course a robust adoption program are all part of the solution. We want to ensure that our group is well-run, ambitious, and can demonstrate measurable results.
Would you consider meeting with us to give us your thoughts on how the WCN model might apply (or be adapted) to work on a domestic scale? Your experience and business savvy would be tremendously valuable to us as we continue to brainstorm and develop this idea.

3. Offer them something in return
This point won’t apply every time, but especially if you’re reaching out to someone who is very busy, it’s always a good idea to think about what you can offer them. This gets their attention and also signals thoughtfulness and reciprocity. It’s not all about you! It needn’t be anything fancy; it could be as modest as sharing information about something you’re working on that you think is relevant for their business or company.

Example (the offer in bold):

In this case I actually didn’t offer John anything, but I could have! Even something as simple as “… and I’d love to share some of the things I’ve been working on that might be of interest to you” would work.

4. Stick the landing
Don’t end your email by saying “be in touch,” or “I’d welcome your thoughts.” It’s so easy to ignore that. Instead, propose a specific time to talk, either in person or over the phone. In my case, I was writing to someone who was the founder and president of a major non-profit organization. I knew this guy’s time was at a premium, and I wanted to make sure he knew I was aware of it (having said that, it’s always best to assume the person you’re writing is busy, without a lot of time to spare for strangers seeking their advice!).

Example (superb landing in bold):

I imagine the requests for your time and expertise are considerable; we would greatly appreciate the opportunity to squeeze in somewhere. We are both dedicated to trying to achieve this goal, and with some guidance and feedback from people like you I believe we will be well positioned to build something meaningful.

Could we take you out to coffee some afternoon next week — how about Wednesday or Thursday at 4 p.m.? We’d be happy to meet anywhere in the city that is convenient for you.

5. Say thanks
If they agree to meet or talk to you, obviously follow up with a thank you email! This is just basic courtesy; I’m sure your folks taught you as much. Like your initial email, make your thank you specific and brief. If there was anything they said they would follow up with, it’s good to remind them.

I so appreciated you taking the time to speak with me earlier this week. Hearing about your experience, including the challenges you faced, was extremely valuable. I also really appreciate you connecting me with Hugo Avery; I am talking to him next week. I hope you don’t mind if I’m in touch periodically about our progress, and thank you again.

These are just a few things to think about the next time you have to reach out to someone you don’t know to ask them for a favor. It may never be easy, but you can become better at it. The result — a response — is what you’re after.

Have you had any success with this? Share any stories or tips you have in the comments.

“The Grindstone” is a series about how we work today by Billfold writers Leda Marritz and Stephanie Stern. Looking for advice? Want to see a specific issue covered in the future? You can email them here.

Leda Marritz lives in San Francisco. You can read more of her writing at smallanswers.us.

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But most every other friend of mine has a story about seeing someone on the subway, or the bus, or the line at the drugstore, and wanting to talk to them but not knowing how — and letting the moment pass them by.

How do you strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know without coming off as creepy, while still making it clear that you’re interested?

The short answer: It’s hard.

For the long answer, let’s turn to Jordan Harbinger, host of “The Art of Charm” podcast, where he shares tips on networking and relationship building, romantic and otherwise. Harbinger recently appeared on another podcast — “The James Altucher Show” — and gave some pointers on the dilemma mentioned above.

Back when he was single, Harbinger said he spotted a woman on the train who was texting furiously.

“Are you gonna write the whole book on your phone?” he asked her.

It turned out the woman was really open to conversation, and told him how she wanted to text her friend, but there was no service underground, so she was preparing a message she could send as soon as they surfaced. She and Harbinger ended up getting into a discussion about how annoying it would be if there were cell service on the train, and how they appreciated the respite from technology.

The trick here is that Harbinger didn’t open with a traditional pick-up line (Altucher suggested, “I didn’t get your text. Can you resend it?”) or anything that would directly signal his interest.

That’s because he put himself in the woman’s shoes and tried to figure out what she’d be thinking or worrying about if a random guy started talking to her — he assumed it was safety. So he tried to disarm her.

“That was a pretty nonthreatening general thing to say,” he said of the opening line he ended up using. After they established some rapport, he could theoretically ask for her number. (Harbinger didn’t reveal on the podcast whether he did that.)

Instead of speaking directly to the person he’s interested in, he’ll talk to that person and someone else seated near him. “Now it’s just a conversation and I happen to be leading it,” he told Altucher.

Harbinger’s advice jibes with research on flirting: A 1986 study found that women generally prefer “innocuous” opening lines to direct openers or pick-up lines. Think, “Which team are you rooting for?” or, “How do you like the band?” (Men, on the other hand, tend to prefer direct lines, like, “Can I buy you a drink?”)

Keep in mind, though: Harbinger says not everyone will be open to conversation. This is just a way to boost your chances of getting the object of your affection to talk to you. He told Altucher that getting good at this kind of relationship building ultimately comes down to persistence and patience.

Citing the work of the psychologist Anders Ericsson, he said it’s all about “deliberate practice,” which involves having a goal and figuring out exactly what went wrong if you don’t reach it. What can you say next time that won’t put the person on their guard or turn them off?

The takeaway here seems to be that it helps to imagine how you would feel if you were that person and someone approached you while you were going about your business. If you’d feel even a little bit skeeved out by the line you’re about to use, it’s probably best to find another one.

So, you’re out in New York, and you have just found yourself checking out someone really hot on the other side of the room. Ok, first off, stop staring! You don’t want to come across as creepy or perverted. I’m going to give you some tips on how to go about asking out this amazingly attractive person that’s caught your eye, even though you’ve never met before in your life. I know it’s hard. I know you’re scared. Just read this article, do what it says, and remember to breathe.

How to ask a stranger out

Make sure they’re not married.

Ok, first things first, it’s best if you can find out somehow if the person you’re thinking about asking on a date is single or not. Do you remember which hand people wear their wedding ring on? Check out the left hand. If there’s a gold band on the ring finger or a diamond the size of a walnut, the person’s married. You can stop panicking and just be on your way. No point in trying to break up something special, no matter how good looking they may be.

If you can’t see the left hand from your vantage point, you’ll have to be a little sneaky about it. Most people also wear a watch on the left hand. Pocket your own watch and go ask them if they happen to have the time.

Not yet! Keep reading! You need to know what to do if they’re single!

Pick a relevant topic.

If you’re going to go up and talk to this hottie, you’re going to need something to TALK about! Don’t comment on the weather unless it’s exceptionally nice or very bad. in fact, even then it’s probably not the best way to start things off. Make a quick mental note of what the person is doing while you’re checking them out right now. Are they browsing through a particular genre of book? Did they just order an unusual drink? Are they comparing the ripeness of cantaloupes? Good! Use that! Talk about what you see them obviously being interested in. This will show interest and hopefully getting her talking. Try to keep the conversation moving if you can, but it needs to be relatively based on a general theme. For instance, if you start talking about the author of the books she’s reading while sipping her wine, bringing up last night’s basketball game probably isn’t the greatest segue into “Can I buy you dinner sometime.”

If you can make her laugh, do.

If the topic wanders to something that you either know an amusing anecdote or you can make a witty, then go ahead and use it. If you can make them laugh (or even genuinely smile) that’s bonus points for you! It shows that you’re not only funny, but confident enough to be funny around a perfect stranger! But, make sure that it’s actually funny before you say it! There’s nothing worse than cracking a joke to a stranger that’s either totally unfunny or even rude/crude. It could make you seem uncaring or even creepy, and will make them suddenly be “in a bit of a hurry, if you could excuse me.”

Don’t be creepy!

Don’t ask questions that are too personal. “What do you do for a living” is acceptable. “Who do you live with” might be creepy. “That’s a really great shirt” is fine. “Do you wear it to bed?” is creepy! Also, don’t be a little lapdog. If it’s clear that the initial conversation is dying or dead, don’t take it upon yourself to start following the person around or standing there awkwardly. Know when it’s time to move on.

Don’t ask for numbers.

Don’t say “Can I get your number”. If they want you to have their number, they’ll give it to you. Feel free to offer yours, but don’t expect them to do the same.

If things are going well, and you’ve been talking to this person for a bit, you’ve got them laughing and comfortable and they aren’t trying to make an escape break, then perhaps you should be bold and ask to continue the conversation elsewhere. say, over coffee?

Asking a stranger on a date, if done right, could be charming to the point they can’t refuse and intriguing enough for them to be interested. If done incorrectly, you could come off as “some creepy guy that wouldn’t leave me alone”. Don’t be creepy.

Ok. Think you’re ready now? Go on over there and strike up a conversation. And remember, be yourself, act natural. Finally, if you really show interest in a person and you are really interested, you can’t go wrong.

The approach of Valentine’s Day can make people do crazy things.

Like, splurge on ridiculously expensive champagne and jewellery for their partner. Or join a flock of tourists at the top of the Empire State Building.

Or ask a total stranger on a date.

If you’re in that last category (go you!), there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Jordan Harbinger, host of “The Art of Charm” podcast, shared tips on networking and relationship building, romantic and otherwise. Harbinger appeared on another podcast — “The James Altucher Show” — and gave some pointers on the dilemma mentioned above.

Back when he was single, Harbinger said he spotted a woman on the train who was texting furiously.

“Are you gonna write the whole book on your phone?” he asked her.

It turned out the woman was really open to conversation, and told him how she wanted to text her friend, but there was no service underground, so she was preparing a message she could send as soon as they surfaced. She and Harbinger ended up getting into a discussion about how annoying it would be if there were cell service on the train, and how they appreciated the respite from technology.

The trick here is that Harbinger didn’t open with a traditional pick-up line (Altucher suggested, “I didn’t get your text. Can you resend it?”) or anything that would directly signal his interest.

That’s because he put himself in the woman’s shoes and tried to figure out what she’d be thinking or worrying about if a random guy started talking to her — he assumed it was safety. So he tried to disarm her.

“That was a pretty nonthreatening general thing to say,” he said of the opening line he ended up using. After they established some rapport, he could theoretically ask for her number. (Harbinger didn’t reveal on the podcast whether he did that.)

Another trick he sometimes uses?

Instead of speaking directly to the person he’s interested in, he’ll talk to that person and someone else seated near him. “Now it’s just a conversation and I happen to be leading it,” he told Altucher.

Interestingly, 2012 research led by Gary Lewandowski at Monmouth University found that students who were mentally exhausted from doing a cognitive exercise right before said they’d be more receptive to “innocuous” openers, like, “Hi, how are you? My name is [their name].”

The mentally exhausted participants said they’d be less likely to respond to “cute” openers, like, ‘”Excuse me, what time is it? I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you.”

And in general, the study found that women said they’d be more receptive to innocuous opening lines, while men said they’d be more receptive to “direct” openers, like, “I don’t normally come up to people like this, but I couldn’t resist.”

So know that, depending on the person’s gender and how frazzled or distracted they are, they might not be totally receptive to your attempt at breaking the ice. Don’t push your luck.

Harbinger did tell Altucher to keep in mind that not everyone will be open to conversation. The strategy he’s advocating is just a way to boost your chances of getting the object of your affection to talk to you. He told Altucher that getting good at this kind of relationship building ultimately comes down to persistence and patience.

Citing the work of the psychologist Anders Ericsson, he said it’s all about “deliberate practice,” which involves having a goal and figuring out exactly what went wrong if you don’t reach it. What can you say next time that won’t put the person on their guard or turn them off?

The takeaway here seems to be that it helps to imagine how you would feel if you were that person and someone approached you while you were going about your business. If you’d feel even a little bit skeeved out by the line you’re about to use, it’s probably best to find another one.

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Talk with Strangers in our free online chat rooms where you can chat with strangers anonymously. Talking to strangers is today’s generation’s favorite pastime since Omegle and other talk to stranger websites have gained popularity. Users can now quickly find interesting people to talk to through talk to stranger apps which let males talk to female strangers online. The trends show that talk to strangers video chat is on high demand which means chat avenues will be focusing on text chat and video chat with strangers online for the millions of users who look for these free chat sites.

Are you looking for someone to talk to online?

Its a good idea to anonymously random chat with strangers in chat rooms because this helps you broaden your mindset by joining teen chat, roleplay chat, student chat, adult chat & elderly chat. You can talk with strangers online for no cost by joining our chatting website.

How to talk to strangers online?

Choose a chatting website below. None of them require you to be registered to begin a random chat. It won’t take you more than a minute to find your first talkative stranger buddy.

Talk to strangers on Omegle

Omegle says that the Internet is full of cool people and it will let you meet them. Omegle does this by picking a stranger at random so you can have a one-on-one chat with them.

How to ask a stranger out

Talk to strangers on TalkWithStranger

TWS says that it has Free Chat Rooms Online and chat sites that let you Talk With Strangers. It focuses on Chatting Online and Anonymous chatrooms without registration.

How to ask a stranger out

Try Chat42 – Anonymous chat for two – best place to talk to strangers

Chat42 proudly presents itself as the best place to talk to strangers. Since it is completely anonymous, it claims to store no logs and requires no registration or obligations.

How to ask a stranger out

Spend some time on ChatBlink

ChatBlink lets you Talk to strangers from all over the world using their free international chat room. Its strong features are Free Chat without registration. It is simple and fun to use this site! You can visit their website to learn how to use it and meet strangers online. To chat with random strangers on their Free Chat Roulette, you must be 18+ to start a random chat with strangers.

How to ask a stranger out

Chat with strangers at Random in Private Chat Rooms by StrangerMeetup

This site lets you chat with a Stranger. You can Chat Anonymously and Free. And the chat service is completely anonymous, which means the stranger you chat with cannot see who you are. This makes stranger meetup a great pastime.

How to ask a stranger out

Join Tohla: Talk to strangers, online chat, talk to people, 1 on 1 chat

Tohla is one among the oldest omegle alternative. The design is lovely and simple just like Omegle. Tohla is a great way of meeting strangers in a random chat room, where they pick another user at random and let them talk together in a one to one chat.

How to ask a stranger out

The seventh option is 7strangers – Random Chat, Chat with strangers

You get to Chat with strangers on their random chat. To start making new friends for free, you don’t even need to login. Start chatting with strangers – anonymous and without registration. That’s so simple, isn’t it?

How to ask a stranger out

Give DixyTalk’s Free Online Chat a shot! Chat For Free With Strangers No Registration

DixyTalk was created to allow us to have free online chat with people from all over the world. Feel free to chat without registration and can make new friends in DixyTalk’s online chat room. In simple terms, DixyTalk is a platform where anyone can talk to everyone on different topics.

How to ask a stranger out

Visit Chatki, the Omegle Alternative that focuses on Random Video Chat with Strangers

Chatki provides a simple and free Omegle alternative to video chat with strangers service that instantly lets you meet cool new people on Chatki. Also, their Random video chat is available on all mobile devices! You should try the free chat now.

How to ask a stranger out

Try YesIChat – One click Guest Chat Rooms without registration

YesIChat has a bunch of international chatrooms where people can chat as they like. There are no limits on any user. It’s ideal for anonymous chatting as it needs no signup, registration or login to use YIC. It focuses on Random chatting.