All Pro Dad
A recent study asked a group of kids how often their peers look at porn online. They responded that it was often. The study also asked what parental controls were in place on their devices, and almost all said none — because their parents trusted them. These parents have no idea what their children are seeing.
Why are controls so critical? First, the average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 11. So if that’s the average, some children are seeing it much earlier. Furthermore, research is beginning to give us the full, frightening picture of what porn does to a brain and to a life. Much like substance abuse, it alters the brain, creating a need for a level of stimulation that a healthy, marital sex life doesn’t always provide. It sets our children up to have a distorted view of sex and suffer from a desire that can’t be satisfied.
Why are so many dads turning a blind eye to this problem? Is it because they don’t think it’s a problem? Is it because of their own porn use? Maybe they feel hypocritical setting up boundaries for their kids that they themselves can’t hold. If this is you, we want you to know that it’s not too late to protect your children, and there is hope for you too. Here are 10 ways to fight pornography:
1. Admit you have a problem.
We live in a world that wants us to make allowance for justifying and tolerating almost every off-color thing we could think of. One of the best things you can do for yourself, your marriage and your children is to admit you have a problem with pornography.
2. Invite trusted friends to encourage you and hold you accountable.
We would also suggest bringing your wife in on your struggle. Voicing your struggle to others and admitting you have a problem is a huge step in the right direction.
3. Online accountability.
Use software to monitor your online activity. Covenant Eyes is a great resource for men. It allows you to receive your accountability partner’s reports weekly for the sites they visit and the searches they make. It lets you know when you need to follow up with each other on questionable activity. Finally, it allows you to celebrate with each other in putting online struggles to death.
4. Set boundaries with your mobile device.
Nowadays, our smartphones and tablets are even more of a gateway to pornography than a desktop computer. The same online accountability applies to your mobile device. Set boundaries and use software to monitor all online activity.
5. If you have offline pornography at your disposal, destroy it.
If you are wanting to fight your addiction to pornography but are hanging on to that magazine or DVD (in its secret hiding place) then your “fight” is really just a masquerade. Man up, and destroy those items. Right now.
6. Take all forms of media seriously.
Don’t think to yourself that TV shows or movies that emphasize sexual situations or portray women in the wrong light are harmless. Even if they are not considered “porn,” they are damaging. If you’re struggling with pornography, these types of entertainment will only make your struggle more difficult.
7. If you are married, take a step back and think on your marriage.
Are you satisfied and happy in your marriage? What’s awesome about your marriage? What is lacking? Are you content with the level of sexual intimacy within your marriage? These are great questions to ask yourself. They just might lead you to the root cause for your addiction.
8. Realize that you didn’t just become addicted to porn.
How you conduct yourself in public and where you look every day have greatly influenced where you find yourself today. That long stare at the passing woman, the double take at the lady you just walked by, the thoughts that come to mind when you see the magazines in the checkout lane at the grocery store… This is where the battle starts in the everyday scenarios and situations. Fight the good fight here too. Guard your eyes and guard your mind.
9. Take a second and think beyond the images or videos you’re looking at.
This is a person, a real woman, a human being created by God, just like you. She’s somebody’s daughter, sister, or even mother. Think of what her life must be like in front of the camera day after day – exploited and made insanely vulnerable. Chances are she is wrapped up in some kind of string of human sex trafficking and your addiction is helping to fund this multibillion-dollar business. She is not there for your enjoyment. She is being held captive and more than likely is crying out for help. Your pornography addiction is a heart issue first and foremost.
10. Your pornography addiction is a heart issue first and foremost.
You are exchanging truth for a lie. You are voluntarily placing your affections on the cheap thrills that are ultimately fleeting and leave you feeling worthless. You were created for God, by God. Ask God to help you every time you are tempted.
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Do you know what pornography is? Have you ever seen any?”
- According to a survey done by a Dutch child rights organization, Kenyan children are actively sharing their nude photos with strangers online.
- The organization found out that online child sexual exploitation is a real threat in Kenya.
This has been made possible by cyber cafés and easy accessibility of communication gadgets to our children.
According to the survey which was conducted in February, there are estimated 750,000 online individuals looking to connect with kids at any moment.
Here are a few ways on how you can protect your child from exposure and involvement in pornography:
Have access to their gadgets: As a parent, be sure to have access to your child(ren) gadgets and monitor their activities online. Be conversant with the applications (apps) they use and interact with.
Avoid pornographic material: As a parent, it goes without saying that you should lead by example. Ensure that your phone does not contain pornographic content. Also avoid consuming pornographic material in the presence of your child.
Be open with your kids: Never delegate the role of parenting to anyone. Do not assume that teachers in schools will talk to your kids about pornography and its effects. Talk to your kids and be open about it. Let them give you their views on the same. That way, your kid is able to learn the dangers of such content.
- READ MORE
- 1. Confessions: I am lonely and my son needs a father figure
- 2. Tips to help you negotiate co-parenting this Easter holiday
- 3. Five tips on how to structure special time with your child
- 4. Five facts you should know about healthy parenting
Limit/manage use of internet: As a parent, you should be able to dictate what time your kids access the internet. You should also dictate the kind of content they consume.
Installing filters in your kid’s gadgets: You can actually install filters in your child’s gadgets to prevent them from accessing pornographic materials online. However, you should make them understand why you do so otherwise they will find ways to access the material out of curiosity and beat you at your own game.
Talk to your kids about technology: Being the digital era, your kids are well versed with technology and the dangers that lurk. Tailor your points towards how technology has made it easy for people in different parts of the world to communicate. Caution them about the people they talk to through the internet.
It is not a one size fits all approach but it’s important to keep tabs on your children’s activities in order to know how to tackle the issue.
Guidelines on How to Safely Surf for Adult Entertainment and Avoid Child Pornography
(PRWEB) May 9, 2003
For Immediate Release
Contact: Joan Irvine, [email protected]
HOW TO SAFELY SURF FOR ADULT ENTERTAINMENT AND AVOID CHILD PORNOGRAPHY
Los Angeles — (May 8, 2003) — Adult Sites Against Child Pornography (ASACP- http://www.asacp.org/) is the organization helping the adult site industry make a difference in the battle against child pornography. When Alec Helmy, head of Helmy Enterprises, recognized the need for ASACP in 1996, his mission was to help the adult site industry combat child pornography.
ASACP has received and reviewed over 70,000 reports of suspect child pornography. It reported over 14,500 valid child pornography sites to the FBI and U.S. Customs Bureau. ASACP received over 3000 reports of suspect child pornography in April alone compared to 1200 a year ago.
“I never thought the ASACP mission would need to expand to provide advice on how to safely surf the Internet to the consumers of adult entertainment. However, this has changed with recent news about arrests for viewing child pornography and the announcement that Pete Townshend was placed in the Sex Offenders Register for just doing research for his campaign against child pornography. Not surprisingly, many are now fearful of viewing any adult sites,” according to Helmy.
Concerned people have written ASACP to ask:
What happens if I view child pornography by mistake, will I be arrested?
I have been receiving spam emails that talk about child pornography and give websites to go to. Until today, I have always visited the websites before reporting them. I finally read your FAQ page (http://www.asacp.org/faq.html) and found out that I could get into trouble by visiting these websites. No more! I will just report whatever emails I receive to you and you can take it from there.
“Millions of Americans surf the Internet for adult entertainment. It’s their constitutional right to enjoy this, just as it is the adult sites’ right to provide this content under freedom of speech rules. However, no one wants to end up in jail for a few minutes of fleeting pleasure in the privacy of their own home or office”, says Joan Irvine, Executive Director of ASACP.
ASACP would like adults to enjoy their entertainment experience without the fear of viewing child pornography. Therefore, it put together these six viewing guidelines.
ASACP Viewing Guidelines:
1. Only view or join a professional adult site with a legal disclaimer stating it is compliant with 18 U.S.C. 2257 Statement or “All models are at least 18 years old at the time of this depiction.”
2. When it comes to child pornography, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. Do not view an adult site that contains pictures of nude children or in fact, any children or models that claim to be over 18, but look much younger.
3. Do not look at sites/spam that contain words that denote children *.
4. Look for the ASACP Approved Member logo on a site. This states that ASACP consistently monitors this site for child pornography. Check the Member Directory at http://www.asacp.org.
5. Report all suspect child pornography to organizations, such as ASACP (http://www.asacp.org/reportsite.html), U.S. Customs Service via the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (http://www.ncmec.org), the F.B.I., or your local authorities.
6. Do not search for child pornography to report or as part of a research project. This is illegal and you do not need to see the horrific pictures to know it is there. Once you see an image of a man penetrating a three-year-old baby, it never goes away.
Pornography is hard to avoid and protecting ourselves from the dangers of pornography is even harder. Since the cybercriminal is growing at a skyrocketing rate, it is imperative that we understand the dangers of pornography and take necessary actions to protect ourselves against it.
A large volume of people watch porn on a regular basis. Although with the use of the incognito mode, hackers can steal your browser history and online identity, leaving you exposed to several unattended privacy-and-security threats.
The dangers of pornography
Here are some of the most often seen dangers of accessing and watching porn online. Prepare and protect yourself from the dangers of pornography.
- Data Breach and leakage
Are you a regular visitor to adult and dating websites? Have you ever thought about what will happen if your data gets leaked or hacked? Data breaches can put your online reputation on stake, your browsing history can be used by hackers to blackmail you and you can also be blacklisted from many legitimate sites.
- Malware can infect your device
Adult and porn websites provide a ready platform for cybercriminals for distributing harmful malware. Infected ads and banners are placed on such websites and a single click on them can infect your device with a trojan, virus, etc.
- Privacy of your browsing history
When you use your actual device IP for online surfing you put your browsing history at stake. Although several porn visitors use the incognito mode to surf adult content it is not free from loopholes and security voids.
- Legal implications and dangers of watching porn
Visiting an adult website without proper precautions can also put you under unwanted legal implications.
- Exposes you to hackers
Digital footprints are often exploited by hackers. They can be used by numerous hackers and malware authors to fill your browser with unwanted ads and steal personal details like IP address, browsing history, login credentials, banking details, etc.
Refrain Yourself from Visiting Porn Websites
If you are thinking of visiting a porn website, it is suggested to drop your idea as such sites pose a dangerous threat to your online identity and security.
These adult websites lure users to click on pop-up ads and often tend to install harmful programs, leaving you vulnerable to other high-profile malware attacks.
Therefore, the best way to protect yourself from such highly-malicious sites would be to avoid them.
Question: “How can I overcome an addiction to internet porn? Can addiction to pornography be defeated?”
Answer: Studies show that terms relating to porn are by far the most commonly searched-for terms in the internet search engines. Every day, literally millions of people do searches related to the porn industry. The powerful imagery of internet pornography is highly addictive. Many men (and women) have been caught in the snare of internet porn and find themselves helplessly addicted to its visual stimulation. This results in uncontrollable lust, an inability to experience true sexual intimacy in marriage, and often intense feelings of guilt and despair. Pornography is the #1 cause of masturbation, sexual assault, and sexual deviancy. Most importantly, pornography is offensive to God, and is therefore a sin that must be confessed, repented of, and overcome.
There are two primary aspects in the battle to overcome an addiction to internet porn: spiritual and practical. Spiritually, addiction to pornography is a sin that God desires you to overcome and therefore will enable you to do so. The first step is to make sure you have genuinely placed your trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior. If you are unsure, please visit our page on salvation and forgiveness. Without salvation through Jesus Christ, there is no possibility of a true and lasting victory over pornography: вЂњApart from me, you can do nothingвЂќ (John 15:5).
If you are a believer in Christ and are struggling with an addiction to internet porn, there is hope and help for you! The power of the Holy Spirit is available to you (Ephesians 3:16). The cleansing of GodвЂ™s forgiveness is available to you (1 John 1:9). The renewing capacity of GodвЂ™s Word is at your disposal (Romans 12:1-2). Commit your mind and eyes to the Lord (1 John 2:16). Ask God to strengthen you and help you to overcome pornography (Philippians 4:13). Ask God to protect you from further exposure to porn (1 Corinthians 10:13), and to fill your mind with things that are pleasing to Him (Philippians 4:8). These are all requests that God will honor and answer.
Practically speaking, there are numerous tools to combat an addiction to internet pornography. There are good programs available at www.X3pure.com and www.PornAddiction.com. There are several quality internet filtering programs that will completely block your computer from accessing pornography, such as Covenant Eyes. Another fantastic tool is available at www.X3Watch.com. X3watch is accountability software. It tracks your internet browsing and sends a report of any objectionable websites you have visited to an accountability partner of your choosing. Your temptation to view internet porn would be greatly reduced if you knew your youth pastor, parent, friend, pastor, or spouse would receive a detailed report about it. There are also quite a few good books on overcoming porn addiction: Every ManвЂ™s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Purity One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn and The Game Plan by Joe Dallas.
Do not despair! An addiction to internet porn is not an вЂњunforgivable sin.вЂќ God can and will forgive you. An addiction to internet porn is not an вЂњunconquerable sin.вЂќ God can and will enable you to overcome it. Commit your mind and eyes to the Lord. Commit yourself to filling your mind with GodвЂ™s Word (Psalm 119:11). Seek His help daily in prayer; ask Him to fill your mind with His truth and block unwanted thoughts and desires. Take the practical steps listed above to keep yourself accountable and block access to internet porn. вЂњNow to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within usвЂќ (Ephesians 3:20).
January 30, 2018
Did you know it can be illegal just to look at something on the Internet, depending on what it is? That’s why it’s important that you know what’s illegal and should be avoided.
One thing, for instance, that’s highly illegal to view on the Internet — even if you don’t download it — is child pornography involving minors aged 17 and younger. Federal and Texas laws against child porn are severe and can lead to many years in prison.
Even a search for child porn on the Web could get you arrested and charged with a crime. That’s because an active search for child porn can indicate an intent to commit the crime of viewing or possessing child pornography.
Also, simply viewing and not downloading child porn on the Internet still can lead to the material being stored in your browser’s cache. Technically, that means you “possess” the illegal material, despite the fact that you didn’t download it.
Many people accidentally see things on the Internet without actively seeking them, and that’s not a crime. Nor is it a crime to view Internet porn featuring consenting adults, which has become one of the largest forms of online adult entertainment.
But make no mistake, if you actively search for child porn online, you could be arrested.
Today, public outrage, vigorous law officers, tough prosecutors, and severe laws can mean you face a difficult legal battle to remain free from prison.
Keep in mind that if you’re charged with possessing child porn on your computer and claim that you didn’t put it there, your previous searches might make it difficult to prove that claim.
For this reason, it’s important to engage an experienced sex crimes defense lawyer at the Neal Davis Law Firm if you need legal help.
Beyond child porn, there are many other sensitive subjects for online searches. And while simply searching some topics may not be a crime, it could raise a red flag for law officers monitoring Internet activity.
Among such subjects are those related to terrorism, illegally modifying weapons, or making explosives at home.
For instance, if you’re a fan of murder mystery novels and run related searches, having “murder” in your search doesn’t make you a suspected murderer. But in other cases, the nature of your search could spark suspicion and an investigation by authorities, depending on the words you use in that search. Authorities can identify you and your computer’s IP address, and follow up with an investigation and even an arrest.
Also, be sure to avoid the “Deep Web,” or what’s often called the Internet’s “criminal underbelly.” That’s where the most questionable materials can be found. For instance, just poking around for information such as “how to hire an assassin” may get you tagged by authorities and investigated.
Many things are perfectly legal to view on the Internet. But many others are not. Be aware of these distinctions and protect your legal rights. Contact the Neal Davis Law Firm to discuss your legal rights if you’ve been charged with a computer crime.
I want to stop being downgraded and put off from my husband looking at porn, how can I block these sites all together
Click on the Start menu.
Click the on the settings gear.
Go to Family & other people.
Click on “Manage family settings online” link.
Click Web browsing.
Click the “Block inappropriate websites”
It will prevent the account from accessing adult websites on Microsoft Edge and Internet Explorer
Thats a way, let me know if you have any other question
hope it helps, have a good day
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Please see steps how to setup the Family settings in Windows 10 to prevent access to adult sites.
The information is sourced from a trusted Microsoft MVP Blog.
Under your husbands account, click Content restrictions, toggle on block inappropriate websites.
Just to clarify, you will need to make your husbands account a child Microsoft Account in order to this. You will also need to block other web browsers such as Chrome, Firefox and Opera, since using an alternative browser will override those rules.
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According to some of the latest research:
The average age children are first exposed to pornography on the Internet is 11.
The largest consumers of Internet pornography are within the ages of 12 to 17.
42% of kids see porn before they become teenagers; and 73% will be exposed to it before they are adults.
This is also not gender biased, as over 50% of girls (compared to 70-80% of boys) have not only witnessed pornography online, but often it is cases of group or same sex intercourse.
Our families are under full-blown assault and our children are becoming the greatest casualties! This is such a large and complex subject to cover and we will only scratch the surface within this article, so I highly encourage you to begin doing your homework on how to guard you and your family when it comes to online activity.
What Porn Does to a Teenager’s Mind
News flash: Teens are super dramatic! Surely they want to blame it on the old adage that we parents are lame and couldn’t possibly understand what they are going through or feeling. Nah, that couldn’t possibly be it. (Been there, done that- right?) But there actually is some scientific data that backs up why adolescents can be so dramatic. During this time the brain begins to “reprogram” itself, preparing for the transition from childhood into adulthood. One major change is the loss of unused connections in the “grey matter” of the brain, while other connections are being formed. As the brain adapts to new growth and environment, some parts carry the weight of another, thus adding a bit of “spice” to what may normally be a natural function of that particular area. A teen’s brain can be very influential during this time, which makes pornography so incredibly dangerous.
When we view stimulating images our brains release massive amounts of chemicals: namely dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin. Now, God has designed the function of each chemical to be used in our daily life and healthy sexuality; but when abused outside of His will, it can become a chaotic elixir of sexual and emotional stimuli. Just like a drug, this release can cause a euphoric reaction with strong emotional and mental ties. And, if repeated again and again, will become addictive and eventually require more and more to attain the same results. Do you see the deadly trap that is set? A young person that is extremely vulnerable to emotions and mental influence in the first place is now going up against one of the most aggressive and destructive forces they will ever face! How can they stand a chance?!
How it Affects the Sexes
Pornography is set up as a one way street: you only receive and never have to give. If you get bored with one partner, off they go and new entertainment is but a click away. There is never any talk back, the need to bond with another, no output of emotions…nothing. Just get yours and move on. Just think of the message this sends to our youth! It burns the thought into boys that women are nothing more than mere sex objects and completely disposable. And if a young man ever does decide to pursue a relationship with a girl, he is absolutely ill-equipped to lead her and invest in her outside of a superficial level. For our girls it sends the message of a false love. They never have to be pursued or have a boy win their heart. Just “give it up” and keep him happy physically and she is sure he will be hers forever. Isn’t it so obvious the girls in the movies enjoy what they are doing? So sex CAN equal love, right? WRONG! I read one interview of a pornography producer that spilled a few behind the scenes secrets. The main point that really stuck out to me was how the producer admitted he cut out all of the scenes where the girls are expressing any emotions outside of enjoyment. As he put it, it would be really counter-productive to sales and promotion if we saw the girls crying, in pain, or anything else that may make us think twice from watching the video. Disgusting. This is nothing less than sex trafficking and it is being sold to our sons and daughters as admirable, appropriate, and even expected.
What Parents Can Do
First off, ask yourself if this is something you struggle with too. If it is, address it right away. Ephesians 5:11-12 tells us, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” (NKJV) As parents, we simply cannot lead and protect our families from something if we are engaged in the very same sin! Come clean before God, someone you can trust, and your spouse. Satan only operates in the dark, but Jesus rescues and restores us in the light.
Second, have an open conversation with your children. Discuss with them the dangers of pornography, what the Bible says about it, and the lie it truly is. Once you have established a firm foundation of facts and trust, ask them to be open and let you know if they have been or are currently engaging in pornography. If they have, please remember the courage it took for them to admit it and the respect they showed by telling you. Handle it in an age appropriate manner and surely let them know your home is a safeguard against condemnation- but a fortress of love and security. If they can have these conversations with you on a regular basis, I am sure your family will thrive on so many different levels.
Finally, remove any barriers that threaten your family’s safety and integrity. Set household rules such as all electronic devices off at a certain time (yours too) and placed out in the open for the night. Keep all computers in family areas such as the living room, so there are never any closed doors. Lastly, install safety net devices such as Covenant Eyes on all Internet devices such as phones, tablets, and computers. This way the filter will guard what comes through and the weekly reports will keep everyone accountable on what they view.
Look, our enemy has one objective: to steal, kill, and destroy. There is no doubt he has a mean grip in our homes with the destructive nature of pornography. Although we cannot fend for everyone else- we can definitely protect our own home. Parents, take action NOW- don’t wait! Each unprotected moment that passes our kids are put in harm’s way. On the flip side, God has given us the Biblical mandate to raise our kids in Christ and protect them from the influences of the world. When we rise to this calling as Christian parents we not only bring our kids closer to Christ, but we bring Christ where He belongs- into the center of our homes.
Article originally published on eatingmanna.com.
Matt Haviland is the founder of “A Father’s Walk” single dad ministry, the author of “A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resources for Single Fathers” and the coauthor of “The Daddy Gap”. He currently lives with his wife and daughter in his hometown of Grand Rapids, MI and is the co-founder of the Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo. For more information on the ministry and how to form a single dad small group in your own church, please visit www.afatherswalk.org.
Publication date: January 19, 2016