How to be a bald and beautiful woman

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

Kori Ellis

Whether you are going through cancer treatments, suffering from alopecia or experiencing hair loss for any other reason, embrace your baldness. Being bald can be beautiful for a number of reasons.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

You can never have a bad hair day

A bad haircut, trying to grow out your bangs, no time to wash your hair in the morning — these are all things of the past. When you are bald, you can never have a bad hair day. At the most, you’ll need to take a few minutes to shave your head in the morning, and maybe pluck your eyebrows.

You’ll never get caught with your roots showing

“How much money do women waste a year on coloring and styling their hair?” exclaims Texas mom Brenda Stephaniani.

Brenda originally lost her hair during chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. She’s been cancer-free for over six years, but she chose to stay bald. Why? “Because it’s so much easier!” she says. “I went gray when I was 24. Over the years, I spent so much money worrying about my roots. Now that I’m bald, I can just stroll on by the hair aisle at the store without giving it a second thought.”

Being bald really brings out your eyes

They say that bangs and face-framing highlights will accentuate your eyes. But do you know what will really show off your beautiful peepers? That’s right — being bald!

No one will notice if you’ve gained a little weight

Everyone will be looking at your beautiful bald head so much, they’ll never notice if you packed on a couple of pounds. So go ahead and have that cupcake. You can hit the gym next week.

You can be whoever you want to be

Though you love your baldness, you can also love being a redhead, brunette or blonde any day of the week. Stock up on a few wigs and have some fun.

Being bald makes you different

Being bald makes you unique, remarkable and noteworthy. You stand out from the crowd. In a sea of women, they’ll always be able to pick out the bald, beautiful one.

You can spend more money on clothes

Shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, leave-ins — the list goes on and on. “With the money you save on hair products and styling tools, you can spend more on clothes, facials or whatever else makes you feel beautiful,” says cancer survivor Jeannie Matthews. Matthews chooses to shave her head, even though she’s been free of breast cancer for three years.

You get a lot of attention

“Being a bald woman makes you unique — it makes you stand out,” Matthews says. “You get a lot of attention from men, and almost all of it is positive. And as shallow as it may sound, attention and compliments make you feel beautiful and special. Everybody likes some extra attention.”

Confidence is beautiful

“There’s something about surviving cancer that makes you feel vulnerable yet confident at the same time,” says Matthews. “Of course, you know that it could come back, but you also know that you faced it head on. You battled it. You conquered it. It’s empowering, and makes you confident in other aspects of your life. And everyone knows, confidence is beautiful.”

Being bald can make people think

Sharon, a model and an actress, originally lost her hair after going through chemotherapy. Now, she shaves it off. In an interview with photographer and writer Enzo dal Verme, she said: “And now that I have survived, I feel the growing need to communicate to as many people as possible that it is important to love oneself. It isn’t easy. For someone like me it really took such a powerful experience to wake me up. But I am determined. I decided to use my image as a bald woman to get people to think, and so far things are going very well.”

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

When I first found out I had breast cancer, I thought I wouldn’t have to do chemotherapy.

But then it turned out I did.

Chemo would make me bald.

Of course, nothing says “wake up call” like a cancer diagnosis.

You reprioritize, reevaluate, rethink who you are.

That said, I was not thrilled I would be losing all my hair.

Here’s how I dealt with it.

TIP #1: Figure out who you are.

I used to be on Playboy TV.

I didn’t want to be bald.

TIP #2: Take control.

The worst thing about having cancer is that you can’t extract it from yourself and beat it with a mallet until it dies.

It’s more slippery than that.

I went to a salon and got my hair cut short. At least I’d have control over that.

TIP #3: Don’t make a mess.

After a couple chemo treatments, it really started to fall out.

It came out in the shower.

It clogged the drain. Twice.

TIP #4: Prepare for the inevitable

My Mohawk turned into a comb over. It looked unfortunate.

I got out of the shower, and my husband was coming up the stairs.

He walked into the room, and I put a towel over my head.

“I don’t want you to see me,” I said.

We used the clippers to get rid of my Mohawk.

The next day I bought an electric razor and shaved off what was left.

TIP #5: Be brave.

A lot of women wear scarves, or wigs, or hats to cover up the fact that they’re bald.

I didn’t want to do that.

I didn’t want to hide it.

I tried on wigs but didn’t buy one.

I walked around bald and got stares. I pretended not to notice.

The other day, I was walking down a long hallway to get my most recent chemotherapy treatment.

Another woman was walking down the hall towards me. She was maybe a decade older. She had hair.

“I always said if I ever had to do chemotherapy again, I wouldn’t wear a wig,” the woman said of my bald head as we got closer.

“You look beautiful,” she said.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

I cover the business of sex. I’ve written for The Atlantic, Harper’s Bazaar, Slate, Salon, and The Daily Beast. In 2008, TIME named me one of the year’s best bloggers.

I cover the business of sex. I’ve written for The Atlantic, Harper’s Bazaar, Slate, Salon, and The Daily Beast. In 2008, TIME named me one of the year’s best bloggers. I’ve appeared on CNN, NPR, and “Politically Incorrect.” To email me, click HERE. To subscribe to my newsletter, click HERE. This blog has been cited by The Wall Street Journal, Ad Age, ESPN, BuzzFeed, and Katie Couric.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

There is no doubt that there is great value assigned to external beauty. For some how they look physically is simply an expression and celebration of their internal beauty, but often those who are physically attractive are emotionally unattractive. To be beautiful inside and out, you must possess more than a pretty shell.

1. Elegance: Elegance is that dignified grace about your appearance, movement, personal style or behavior. To be elegant is to be strong and assured in who you are and to move gently within that energy.

When you possess elegance you are graceful even amidst a challenge. You are able to handle yourself in a noble and ethical manner. You hold good posture, your energy has a mystery, softness, strength and cleverness to it. You are vulnerable yet self-assured.

Elegance is the undeniable quality of the depth of your personal wisdom.

2. Kindness: The kindness of your spirit, how you treat, think about, and speak to others comes from a genuine and sensitive place. You are kind, even to those whom you do not care for. You are aware that you can love someone even if you do not like them.

Being kind may be perceived as weakness or vulnerability by others, but you know that kindness is one of your strongest influences. If you can’t say something nice, you have the control to remain quiet.

There is no other human quality that will get you further in life than kindness.

3. Composure: Composure is the beauty of self-control. Life is always going to bring its challenges. Without a sense of composure it is easy to allow conflictual situations and relationships to unnerve you, but when you have composure you understand the concept of less equals more.

The less you react, defend, explain, become fearful or controlling the more command you have over a situation. Having composure allows you to stand tall with grace in the face of loss or challenge and not to be overly boastful when it comes to your success.

Composure allows you maintain a certain stillness in the face of life’s changes.

4. Courage: Be willing to dare greatly in your life. It takes courage to love fully, to change yourself when necessary, to feel deeply, to leave love when it’s scary and to chase your dreams with passion and an unwavering tenacity.

You are aware that to become courageous you must do courageous things. You also know it is not the loudness of your mouth but the depth of your character, to keep going no matter your circumstances, which makes you thrive.

5. Confident: When you are self-loving you naturally possess a quiet confidence. Your self-awareness, dedication to self-development and personal growth provide you the knowledge to succeed at nearly anything you seek.

Because of your life experiences and inner depth, you can be certain positive things will happen in your life because you depend upon yourself to have the information and willingness to do the work necessary to get to your result.

6. Deliberate: You are clear and persistent about who you are, where you are headed in life and what you want from your relationships to be happy. In being deliberate people know where they stand with you. You get what you want in life because you are clear in saying what you want.

You use each challenge life brings to positively refine yourself. This refinement keeps your life clean of negativity. Being deliberate keeps you pointed in the direction of your dreams, connected to your true loves and to living genuinely as who you are.

In being deliberate your life is not set up on pretenses. Who you are does not change from person to person or situation to situation.

7. Intelligent: Intelligence is about knowledge, but even more so about emotions. In being aware of your emotional patterns you are endowed with the flexibility to handle challenge and change, allowing you to unlock smart solutions to your problems.

With a well-rounded intelligence you carry yourself in a stately and unafraid manner. You are secure knowing there are a multitude of choices available in life, so there is no need to be reactive. In being emotionally intelligent you have the ability to keep your eyes on the bigger picture turning obstacles into opportunities.

8. Humble: Life isn’t all about you, in fact, you prefer to celebrate the accomplishments of others as much as your own. You are proud of who you are but have no need to add histrionics to your success. Most of the time you prefer being in the background, working hard and allowing your success speak for itself.

You are sensitive and want the best for everyone. You do not see yourself above others as you are secure enough in yourself that the trap of comparison doesn’t interest you. You enjoy your life for what it is and do not feel entitled to more without the commensurate work to back it up.

9. Honest: People gravitate towards what is real. You are simple, upfront, gentle, but direct in the ‘being’ of who you are. You are content to live life patiently and know how to wait well. For you life is about being authentic and following your heart and nothing else.

You are someone others can depend upon as you have no ulterior motives. You are relationship oriented not agenda oriented. You believe the truth is the only path to success and deep intimacy. You do not change who you are based on who you are with. You are who you are and your priority in life is to feel happy and satisfied.

10. Loving: There is nothing more appealing to others than to be in the presence of a loving person. When you love yourself you have endless love to give. For you love is a verb and it is expresses itself through loving kindness, touch, your smile and sense of inner joy and vitality.

You are warm towards others and kind to yourself. There is nothing you wouldn’t do to help and this loving approach is taken into every area of your life from career to parenting. Further, you apply love as a form of discipline and setting boundaries when necessary.

There are times when the only way another can learn and grow is for you to either have to withdrawal your love, or to set boundaries around it, in an effort to protect your generous nature. You know that in order for you to remain loving you must protect your heart and put yourself first in negative situations.

Through life’s experiences you have come to accept that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

To be truly beautiful, it is the understated qualities of beauty which are sustaining. To possess any one of them will increase the experience of your beauty exponentially. Who you are internally is the marker of your influence on the world.

Sherapy Advice: Let the kindness of your character say more about you than what you see in the mirror.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

When I first found out I had breast cancer, I thought I wouldn’t have to do chemotherapy.

But then it turned out I did.

Chemo would make me bald.

Of course, nothing says “wake up call” like a cancer diagnosis.

You reprioritize, reevaluate, rethink who you are.

That said, I was not thrilled I would be losing all my hair.

Here’s how I dealt with it.

TIP #1: Figure out who you are.

I used to be on Playboy TV.

I didn’t want to be bald.

TIP #2: Take control.

The worst thing about having cancer is that you can’t extract it from yourself and beat it with a mallet until it dies.

It’s more slippery than that.

I went to a salon and got my hair cut short. At least I’d have control over that.

TIP #3: Don’t make a mess.

After a couple chemo treatments, it really started to fall out.

It came out in the shower.

It clogged the drain. Twice.

TIP #4: Prepare for the inevitable

My Mohawk turned into a comb over. It looked unfortunate.

I got out of the shower, and my husband was coming up the stairs.

He walked into the room, and I put a towel over my head.

“I don’t want you to see me,” I said.

We used the clippers to get rid of my Mohawk.

The next day I bought an electric razor and shaved off what was left.

TIP #5: Be brave.

A lot of women wear scarves, or wigs, or hats to cover up the fact that they’re bald.

I didn’t want to do that.

I didn’t want to hide it.

I tried on wigs but didn’t buy one.

I walked around bald and got stares. I pretended not to notice.

The other day, I was walking down a long hallway to get my most recent chemotherapy treatment.

Another woman was walking down the hall towards me. She was maybe a decade older. She had hair.

“I always said if I ever had to do chemotherapy again, I wouldn’t wear a wig,” the woman said of my bald head as we got closer.

“You look beautiful,” she said.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

I cover the business of sex. I’ve written for The Atlantic, Harper’s Bazaar, Slate, Salon, and The Daily Beast. In 2008, TIME named me one of the year’s best bloggers.

I cover the business of sex. I’ve written for The Atlantic, Harper’s Bazaar, Slate, Salon, and The Daily Beast. In 2008, TIME named me one of the year’s best bloggers. I’ve appeared on CNN, NPR, and “Politically Incorrect.” To email me, click HERE. To subscribe to my newsletter, click HERE. This blog has been cited by The Wall Street Journal, Ad Age, ESPN, BuzzFeed, and Katie Couric.

New research finds some potential benefits when it comes to romance.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

Most men without hair would agree that being bald is sexy. However, most men with hair would rather retain their locks than become bald—a clear discrepancy. But there is some scientific research that suggests baldness has a number of social advantages.

It’s hard to deny that our physical appearance matters in society. What we look like on the outside can determine (to an extent) the shape of our career, what kind of people we associate with, who we marry, and how socially successful we are in general.

People draw inferences about someone else’s personality based on appearance all the time. For example, in both men and women, having small squinty eyes and thin lips suggests (to a viewer) that a person is dominant, while big eyes and full lips suggest submissiveness.

Research shows us that physically attractive individuals are credited with a range of desirable attributes, which is hardly surprising. Anyone who has ever had any kind of interaction with anyone will tell you that being beautiful or handsome opens doors.

Numerous studies have documented the tendency of people to form an overall impression about something, and subsequently base their evaluation of other aspects relevant to that on their initial impression (e.g. that guy/girl has a great physique, he/she must also be really confident/hardworking/happy, etc.). Research has found that physically attractive people are judged to be more musically competent and that they receive more favorable treatment by juries, are perceived as less deceptive, and are regarded as being more successful in general.

Traditionally, baldness—or the notable lack of a luscious head of hair—has been associated with undesirable characteristics (weakness, impotence, etc.), whereas a thick mane has been tied to traits like strength and virility. Men who choose to shave their heads might seem a bit curious, as a shorn head has historically been equated with restrained sexuality and even been seen as “symbolic castration.”

The truth is that a lot of men shave their heads because they are going bald. Research suggests that about half of all men will experience some kind of male pattern baldness by the time they are 50. It has been linked with things like poor self-esteem and body image, the perception of being old, and depression. It’s hardly that surprising then that worldwide, men spend nearly $3.5 billion naturally trying to either hide or reverse their natural hair loss.

The Benefits

Research in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that there are some benefits to being bald. The researchers had participants (men and women) rate photos of bald men and men with a full head of hair on how dominant, agreeable, and old they might be. The bald men were perceived to be about one year older, slightly more agreeable, and much more dominant.

But what if the men who were bald or had shaved heads were naturally more dominant-looking (the same qualities that led them to baldness also may have led them to be more dominant)? In the second part of the study, the researchers had one group of participants rate photos of men with full heads of hair, and another group rated the same men, but with their hair digitally removed.

Because only their hair was modified, any differences between the groups had to be due to baldness. This time the bald men were rated as being.

  • 13 percent more dominant
  • 6 percent more confident
  • 10 percent more masculine
  • About an inch taller
  • 13 percent stronger
  • Nearly four years older

Finally, the researchers wanted to see if these perceptions remained even if men described in words with no photos were considered. This time they added men whose hair was “thinning but not bald” into the mix. Again, the researchers found that completely bald men were perceived to be more dominant, more masculine, and stronger, ​and to have marginally better leadership skills. But men with thinning hair fared far worse than either bald men or those with a full head of hair.

The message from this research seems clear: If you are going bald, embrace it. It really is a case of all or nothing.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

rose mcgowan and model with buzz cut

There’s power in hair. And in lots of hair? Well, lots of power. But imagine walking around in the world without it. No sideswept bangs to hide your gaze. No long layers to toss over a shoulder. No ponytail to adjust when you need something to do with your hands. Just you. Is there anything more powerful than a woman with nothing to hide? A woman with a naked head? Maybe. But we’ve never seen it.

“I first shaved my head about a year and a half ago. I had been toying with the idea for some time, but the actual act of doing it was rather spur-of-the-moment. It felt right, and emotionally it was very liberating. At school, the reaction hasn’t been the most positive, but in the real world, I’ve only been told wonderful things. Luckily, I don’t measure my self-esteem through my physical attributes. My confidence doesn’t come from my hair; it comes from within. My opinions and thoughts are what matter and now those are on full display because I have nothing to hide behind. The sense of freedom is unbelievable.” — Iris D., Model

“I shaved my head over two and a half years ago. It was time. I broke up with the world and its expectations of what I was meant to look like according to rules I didn’t write. This is my journey, and for that to be true, I’ve largely had to banish other people’s ideas of who I should be. Now my outsides match my insides. My disempowerment was my hair. I hid behind it. I slept. It turned me into a caricature. My power comes from refusing to hide. It’s great being free.” — Rose McGowan, former actress and activist

“My power is not in my hair. My power is in me. When you’re a fighter, it’s all about having a strong mind and a strong body. There’s a lot of pressure in living up to the responsibilities of being a UFC champion. I have to be visible, make appearances. But I also have to train even harder now because there’s a target on my back — everyone wants this belt. When you’re in the gym all the time, long hair just gets in the way. The more distractions I can eliminate from my life, the better. I’m happy with my decision and everyone loves it — even my grandmother!” — Rose Namajunas, UFC straw-weight champion

“I grew up in Fukui, Japan. Japanese culture is quite conservative, but my classmates thought it was cool when I first shaved my head. I did it myself when I was 16 because I wanted to feel my strongest and best, and I thought that making a change was exactly the right thing to do. I think people view me as more strong and fearless, but that’s not always the case. I also love how easy it is to get ready in the morning — no drying time!” — Manami Kinoshita, Model

“In 1988, I started shaving my head on a regular basis. It represented honoring my true self. People who knew me loved it; people who didn’t, thought I was either a Buddhist monk or an Asian skinhead. I honestly didn’t care either way. My decision was instinctual and political, and it changed everything for me. Some women harness their femininity through long locks, while others hide behind it. For myself, having short hair is powerful, beautiful, and without fuss.” — Jenny Shimizu, actress and model

“Rihanna shaved my head on the set of her and N.E.R.D.’s music-video shoot for ‘Lemon.’ After I auditioned for the role, the creative team approached me with the concept, and I immediately said, ‘Yes! Let’s go!’ For me, power and femininity have always existed in tandem with performance. Women and their allies are constantly reimagining femininity, smashing hegemonic ideals, and bending the concept of gender. Whether I’m onstage or off, my womanhood is fluid, not fixed or confined to a certain part of my body. It can live and breathe as I do. I’m now better connected to what makes me feel happy and beautiful. I feel a bold sense of self without my curls. My body unapologetically postures itself in a new way — more fierce and feminine than ever before.” – Mette Towley, dancer

“When I first shaved my head, my mom was also bald. She was undergoing cancer treatment again after several years in remission. The second time, she cared even less what people thought of her hair loss and would walk around our Illinois hometown completely bald with beautiful earrings. I was captivated by the beauty of an elegant, confident, bald woman. Today, I harness a lot of my strength and femininity through my baldness. It reminds me of my mom in those moments when she was both the strongest and most vulnerable I’d ever seen her. It’s also gorgeous. To me, a bald head with a gorgeous gown is the essence of fashion. I have learned that in drag, as in real life, the only person you should be styling yourself for is you.” — Sasha Velour, drag queen (winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 9) and illustrator

Fashion stylist, Beat Bolliger. Hair: Martin Cullen. Makeup: Hiromi Ueda. Manicure: Marian Newman. Reporting by Maxwell Losgar.

Read more stories about hair:

Now, watch 100 years of hair removal:

Bold and the Beautiful predictions put Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) seeking another paternity test after her brother comes to her with his concerns. Thomas Forrester (Matthew Atkinson) was desperate to find out from Vinny Walker (Joe LoCicero) if he tampered with Steffy’s paternity lab results.

While Vinny denies it, it sounds like Thomas still isn’t convinced. So, next week on the CBS soap, Thomas deals with his strong feeling that his good buddy went too far.

Bold and the Beautiful Predictions: Steffy Forrester Gets Warning From Her Brother

While the Bold and the Beautiful spoilers suggest Vinny did tamper with the results, the anger in Thomas’s voice may make him deny this. Or Vinny may eventually come clean to his good buddy despite the fury he knows he’ll face in the aftermath.

But more than likely, if Thomas is this changed man, he’ll tell Steffy Forrester of his concerns with or without confirmation from Vinny. So, either way, B&B spoilers send Steffy on her way for a do-over test.

Once and for all Steffy can determine the real father of her unborn baby. Hints dropped all week on B&B about her mother’s intuition that John “Finn” Finnegan (Tanner Novlan) is the father. So, it looks like she soon finds out the truth, That is if Thomas Forrester is the changed man he’s promised since rolling out of the operating room on Bold and the Beautiful.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

B&B Predictions: Thomas Forrester Holds the Key

Bold and the Beautiful predictions have Thomas telling his sister what he suspects. But this leaves her brother very worried because if this is the case, he’s in trouble. Thomas works hard to show those around him that he has changed. But he knows if anyone gets wind of Vinny’s possible deeds, the fingers will point at Thomas.

Steffy Forrester considers this. She sees the change in her sibling even more now that he came to her with his suspicions. B&B predictions put Steffy secretly seeking a new paternity test.

But she can’t tell Finn or Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton) because this would implicate Thomas. She’d have to tell them why she wants a do-over test. So, she sets out to do this without the knowledge of the two possible fathers. Steffy Forrester would have no other choice but to confide in her doctor, Dr. Campbell (Tina Huang).

Bold and the Beautiful predictions suggest that a stressed-out Steffy Forrester asks they use Kelly Spencer’s (Avalon & Colette Gray) DNA for comparison to her unborn child. Her DNA panel would be on file from her paternity test years back.

If her DNA matches this new baby’s DNA, then Liam is definitely the father. If not, then the child belongs to Finn. But there’s a third possibility, one that will rock the very core of her Bold and the Beautiful world, as well as Liam’s.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

Bold and the Beautiful Predictions: Could Kelly Spencer Have Another Sibling?

B&B predictions suggest that Steffy Forrester asks Dr. Campbell to use Kelly’s DNA for comparison to the new baby. She agrees to this highly unusual request to secretly repeat the procedure if only to relieve the stress level she now sees in her patient.

But if Steffy’s accusations about a switch in the lab ring true, then that person needs to be exposed. So, for these two reasons Dr. Cambell agrees. Bold and the Beautiful spoilers indicate that Steffy’s intuition was correct all along. The unborn child she carries belongs to Finn.

The exciting news may give way to a shocker. After all, this is Bold and the Beautiful, so when one drama ends another must emerge on this CBS soap. This is the third paternity procedure for Steffy Forrester. The first was to determine if Kelly’s father was Liam or Bill Spencer (Don Diamont). Now she requests another lab procedure after just having one for this new baby.

How to be a bald and beautiful woman

B&B Predictions – What If?

Bold and the Beautiful predictions suggest all the DNA markers from the three results get pulled for comparison. It seems the first paternity results might show a discrepancy with Kelly, as it does now with the new little one on the way. It looks like when comparing Kelly’s DNA to Liam, it shows he is not a parent but a sibling.

Sure, this is far-fetched, but concerns about a switch of Kelly’s lab results surfaced years back. It’s not unlike Bold and the Beautiful to tuck away people and events only to pull them out of storage for later use.

Besides when it’s revealed that John Finnegan is the father, this dries up all the drama. Hope Logan (Annika Noelle) would probably reconsider taking Liam back. Then Steffy and Finn walk away with their wish that this baby belongs to Finn. So, a new vein of drama needs to open up.

If this prediction is correct, then Steffy Forrester and Liam Spencer’s new reality offers drama and a bit of a crisis for sure. Kelly only knows Liam as her father. So, if this prediction comes true, this causes a collision of a few different worlds on the CBS soap.

For the latest on Bold and the Beautiful make your first stop Soap Dirt for news, spoilers, and predictions.

I love women. And since I spent a lot of time either chasing, seducing or writing about them, I feel I have a pretty good grasp about what makes a woman truly perfect.

In no particular order, here are the characteristics of a perfect woman:

Table of Contents

The perfect woman must be attractive

First and foremost, the perfect woman must be physically attractive. Humans are animals, so physical appearance is what always molds the first impression. Some say that physical attributes are subjective, and are really in the eye of the beholder, but I disagree. I think that they’re really objective: certain physical characteristics are always considered attractive by any man.

Some men like to rate attractiveness on a scale, but I’m a simple man: in my world, a woman is either attractive or not; she’s either pretty or average; she’s either “I gotta talk to her” or “nah, I’ll pass.” If I see a woman, and I just can’t peel my eyes of her, as hard as I try, she’s attractive in my book.

Coupled with an attractive face, she must have an attractive body, too. The body should be slim, but not too slim that she looks bulimic, with her rib cage bones protruding out. I’m also breast man, so I like my woman to have a nice pair of breasts, which don’t need to be enormous. A nice ass and legs are a bonus but not requirements.

The perfect woman must be confident

Physical attractiveness is only one side of the coin; mental attractiveness via confidence is the other. Combine an attractice women with confidence, and you have an unbeatable human being who can conquer the world and help you do the same. Confidence is one of the best—if not the best trait that a human can have.

Confidence is a woman’s way of projecting that she knows exactly what she’s doing out in the world. She’s self-assured that she doesn’t give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. It also an instant reflection that she knows—and is ready to leverage—her intrinsically high value. Just like there’s nothing more attractive than a confident man, nothing can beat an attractive and confident woman.

The perfect woman must be feminine

Long ago, we didn’t even need to discuss or debate this; saying that a woman must be feminine was as absurd as buying a car and specifying that you want the “steering wheel option.” However, nowadays, women come with all sorts of personalities, so, as men, we must be explicit with our requirements in what we seek in a woman.

Femininity means that the woman doesn’t act like a man: less sarcasm, less ball-busting remarks, and less trying to outcompete with the men themselves. Essentially it means a woman should behave like a woman. Even the most physically attractive woman instantly losses major points if she’s acting like the manliest man. Not only is femininity a woman’s gift to the world, it also provides a counterbalance to a man’s strong masculinity.

The perfect woman must be intelligent

Looks are what initially attract a man to a woman, but her intelligence keeps him coming back for more. She doesn’t have to have a Ph.D. in advanced mathematics, but a good grasp of common and practical sense is usually more than enough. Intelligence can be either of the street or book variety: either of each is equally attractive.

Intelligent and clever men respect intelligent and clever women. It duly sets the woman apart in a sea of similarly attractive women who have no outside interests besides constantly checking what their friends are sharing on the social networking sites. Furthermore, if a woman lacks intelligence, then there’s only one other reason why a man is keeping her around — but that will get real old, real quick.

The perfect woman must be mature

Since women generally mature quicker than men, this is usually not a problem. But something changed in the past couple of decades that resulted in women becoming more and more immature. It’s a strange and erratic experience to meet an attractive woman in her mid 30s only to have her acting like someone in her early 20s (or younger). That’s not a woman; that’s simply a girly girl. She’s like an unripe fruit, childish, confused and gullible.

Maturity is a trait that only comes via experience. It can’t be easily faked. It’s the reward you get for transcending certain obstacles that were in the way of your dreams and ambitions. An immature girl is someone who never tried, never suffered, and, as a result, never left her childhood behind. It’s someone who hasn’t lived. No experience, no growth and no maturity. She can be a nice girl, but she’ll never be a perfect woman.

The perfect woman must be semi-independent

Successful sovereign men are ruthlessly independent by nature. They are highly focused, constantly carving out their piece of the pie while building their empires. Thus, it’s no surprise that such men strongly despise clingy people, whether that’s other men or women. A clingy woman might be a good match for a clingy man, but she will absolutely drive away any man with even a stench of ambition.

There’s something wrong if a woman must be constantly by her man’s side. Perhaps that means she doesn’t have a social circle of her own, fully independent of him and his friends. Maybe she is a social recluse who doesn’t know how to form social connections, or is simply not liked by anyone else. It can also be a canary in a coal mine for graver problems just down the road.

The perfect woman must be semi-independent. She must have her own goals and ambitions. She must have her own friends. The only thing that’s preventing an all out independence is loyalty to her man (see below).

The perfect woman must be loyal

I know guys love going for easy women. That was me — maybe ten years ago. Nowadays, I’ve come to respect a woman’s bitch shield. I understand that today I can be hitting on a woman with a boyfriend, but tomorrow that boyfriend can be me with some other smooth player hitting on my girl.

Loyalty is one of my favorite human traits. One can be loyal to a cause or to another person. One of the sexiest things that a woman can possess is loyalty to her man. That means she has values and is stands for something for concrete and static instead of blindly following her emotions for any new guy comes along, which doesn’t require much effort. Loyalty means she knows how to think logically instead of being held captive by her whimsical emotions.

Popular culture is busy portraying women who are perpetually free from any commitments, and are sleeping with anyone who catches their eyes. I don’t find such behavior sexy at all; in fact, it personifies a woman that no man will ever take seriously. After all, if a woman can’t be loyal, then there’s no reason to invest anything like time and money in such woman: she’ll just pickup and leave at the next available opportunity. Easy come, easy go.

The perfect woman must be decisive

If there’s something that can piss off a man as much as an overly dependent or clingy woman, it’s a woman who can’t decide anything when faced with the most trivial choices, like picking a cheese in a supermarket.

Long ago I dated a nice girl who had the biggest challenge making even the most minor decisions. Her favorite response when left to her own devices was always: “it’s up to you.” That was over eleven years ago, but her foolish indecisiveness is now permanently etched into my cerebral neurons.

As a man, I hereby accept the responsibly for taking the biggest risks and making the important decisions, like choosing where to build a new power plant or what small country to conquer. But I also like—and feel that I’m entitled—to come home and have the woman be freely able to decide what color towels to buy or what meat to cook for dinner.