How to be a successful muslim wife

Copy Citation

Export Citation

With a personal account, you can read up to 100 articles each month for free.

Already have an account? Log in

Monthly Plan

  • Access everything in the JPASS collection
  • Read the full-text of every article
  • Download up to 10 article PDFs to save and keep

$19.50/month

Yearly Plan

  • Access everything in the JPASS collection
  • Read the full-text of every article
  • Download up to 120 article PDFs to save and keep

$199/year

Purchase a PDF

How does it work?

  1. Select the purchase option.
  2. Check out using a credit card or bank account with PayPal.
  3. Read your article online and download the PDF from your email or your account.
  • Access supplemental materials and multimedia.
  • Unlimited access to purchased articles.
  • Ability to save and export citations.
  • Custom alerts when new content is added.

Register/LoginProceed to Cart× Close Overlay

The existing literature on women of the Swahili Coast has focused largely on their involvement in activities labeled as non-Islamic by both male peers and scholars. However, Islam plays an important role in these women’s lives and they often bring Islamic knowledge to bear on their participation in seemingly secular activities. In this study I address women’s role as sex instructors with a specific focus on instructing a bride in contemporary Swahili weddings. Contextualizing participant observation within the existing literature on Swahili puberty rituals, sex instruction, weddings, and language ideologies, I find that the ritual involves a discursive performance of Islamic knowledge and thereby offers women who act as instructors a form of religious authority. This provides an important counterpoint to decontextualized representations of Swahili Islam as excluding women from positions of authority.

The Journal of Religion in Africa was founded in 1967 by Andrew Walls. In 1985 the editorship was taken over by Adrian Hastings, who retired in 1999. It is interested in all religious traditions and all their forms, in every part of Africa, and it is open to every methodology. Its contributors include scholars working in history, anthropology, sociology, political science, missiology, literature and related disciplines. It occasionally publishes religious texts in their original African language. Presenting a unique forum for the debate of theoretical issues in the analysis of African religion past and present, it also encourages the development of new methodologies. It reviews a very wide range of books and regularly publishes longer review articles on works of special interest. The Journal of Religion in Africa prides itself on being highly international and is the only English-language journal dedicated to the study of religion and ritual throughout Africa.

BRILL, founded in 1683, is a publishing house with a strong international focus. BRILL is renowned for its publications in the following subject areas; Asian Studies, Ancient Near East & Egypt, Biblical Studies & Religious Studies, Classical Studies, Medieval & Early Modern Studies, Middle East & Islamic Studies. BRILL’s mainly English language publications include book series, individual monographs and encyclopaedias as well as journals. Publications are increasingly becoming available in electronic format (CD-ROM and/or online editions).BRILL is proud to work with a broad range of scholars and authors and to serve its many customers throughout the world. Throughout its existence the company has been honored with many awards which recognise BRILL’s contribution to science, publishing and international trade.

This item is part of a JSTOR Collection.
For terms and use, please refer to our Terms and Conditions
Journal of Religion in Africa © 2011 Brill
Request Permissions

  • Join Date: Aug 2002
  • Posts: 1953

10Tips How to be a Successful Wife

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 25251

What does ‘freedom’ mean?

Does the eagle want to swim in the sea,
Restricted by the sky?

Does the fish want to dance on the wind,
Not enough river to explore?


Yet the sky is freedom for the bird
but death for the fish,

The sea is wide for the fish
but will engulf the bird.

We ask for freedom but freedom to do what?
We can only express our nature as it was created.

Yet we chose the prison and call it freedom.

Comment

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 6564

this is not a joke, I really want to know

Comment

  • Join Date: Sep 2004
  • Posts: 9

depends on who your married to sis I would say yes many of the tips have been done and succesful too, but you have to be with someone who accepts these things and has much compassion and love in his heart for ya.

I know sisters that for example have done the apology even when they werent wrong but if they have a bullheaded husband he still may not accept it. then I know some that as soon as they see that from their wife say OH mashaa Allah you know in thinking you really arent the one who should be apologizing i should be ya know so i guess the success rate has alot to do with the spouse too.

i like the tip about the hoor al ayn though mashaa Allah thats a good one.

Comment

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 6564

okay, I guess tip #1 should be. find a brother who accepts these things. but I like tips #7 through 10. As for the rest, you’re right, it depends on the kind of man you’re married to. Saying sorry to a jerk when it’s not your fault is a little hard to do.
Insha Allah I pray I don’t land with a Jerk.

Comment

okay, I guess tip #1 should be. find a brother who accepts these things. but I like tips #7 through 10. As for the rest, you’re right, it depends on the kind of man you’re married to. Saying sorry to a jerk when it’s not your fault is a little hard to do.
Insha Allah I pray I don’t land with a Jerk.

Comment

  • Join Date: Jun 2004
  • Posts: 1545

Comment

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 3066

I would never want a wife like that. I want a wife who wants more than simply stays at home and clean house. I do not want a wife that is thanking me constantly. And above all I want a wife who not only wants to fight back, but will fight back when she is knows she is right, or knows when I am wrong. I want a wife with her own opinions and her own ideas, and ideals and is willing to stand up do defend and fight for them. I also do not want a wife that is dependent upon me.

Just wanted to say that because other cultures and other people have different views of what type of person they want to marry.

Comment

  • Join Date: Jul 2003
  • Posts: 9646

Comment

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 3066

Comment

  • Join Date: Jun 2004
  • Posts: 1545

She got to be a good cook too, you know like a master chef or something.

Ain’t afraid to experiment in the kitchen, and fix up a tasty plate.

Comment

  • Join Date: Aug 2004
  • Posts: 130

Comment

  • Join Date: Aug 2004
  • Posts: 130

Comment

  • Join Date: Feb 2003
  • Posts: 3066

Yes, in my opinion the only wife worth having is a wife who is willing to speak her mind, stand up for herself, and is a person who has her own ideas, ideals, and opinions. The only wife worth having is a wife who is willing to argue when she thinks she is right or when I am wrong. The only wife worth having is a wife that you can have an intellectual conversation or argument with; and is person who has a different views of the world than my own. Also, she must be a person who can mentally challenge me and is my equal in knowledge and intelligence, and even better, someone who even surpasses my own knowledge and wisdom from time to time. That is what makes life worth living.

The last thing I want is to be married to someone who always says “yes dear” or “I am sorry. you are right as always.” That would be the worst type of wife in my opinion. What would the fun of being marrying someone like that? What is the point of marrying someone like that?

It was revealed in a BBC documentary Islam, Women and Me which follows presenter Mehreen Baig as she looks into what makes a good Muslim wife

  • 6 Feb 2018, 12:21
  • Updated : 7 Feb 2018, 13:17

AN IMAM issued rules on how to be a good Muslim wife in a new BBC documentary, revealing he believes husbands should be obeyed.

The London mosque leader also said the “perfect wife” should have sex whenever her husband demands it, along with a list of conditions.

How to be a successful muslim wife

The BBC documentary Islam, Women and Me follows presenter Mehreen Baig as she looks into what makes a good Muslim wife.

She visited an East London mosque where an unnamed Imam was giving a speech about finding the perfect partner.

He said men should give their wives a good home while loving and trusting them.

He added: “She should show him love and affection, she should express her full confidence and trust in her husband.

How to be a successful muslim wife

How to be a successful muslim wife

“She must make herself available to her husband whenever he says ‘I’m ready, I need you’.

“She must be available unless you’ve got a good excuse.

“She should not admit anyone whom her husband dislikes to come in or stay in her house.

“She must not put economic pressure on her husband, she must obey her husband.

‘The wife must not travel without the consent of her husband.”

Mehreen also spoke with activist and author, Yassmin Abdel-Magied, and the pair discussed their struggles with some parts of their religion.

Yassmin revealed she may never get married and finds it hard to accept she may never have sex due to this.

The 28-year-old presenter told Newsbeat why she wanted to speak to other Muslim women as part of the documentary.

She said: “In a world where often Muslim women are spoken for and spoken about, it’s good to speak to women first-hand.”

Adding: “The question I get asked a lot is ‘how can you be part of a religion that is so sexist or inherently misogynistic?’

“It’s really upsetting. Islam is a major part of my life and I am no way the Muslim representative of the world, but the way I have been brought up, I feel my faith empowers me as a woman.”

MOST READ IN NEWS

How to be a successful muslim wife

WORST NIGHTMARE

How to be a successful muslim wife

SIMPLY THE TEST

How to be a successful muslim wife

CHEERS!

How to be a successful muslim wife

BEER WE GO

How to be a successful muslim wife

KNOW THE SIGNS

How to be a successful muslim wife

VACC ON TRACK

Last week we reported on rare footage which captured the moment an Imam performed an exorcism on an Islamic woman believed to be carrying an evil spirit.

The fully-veiled woman kneels on the floor of a mosque before she begins retching and thrashing around on a sofa, as Imam Ayoud Tayeb attempts to rid her of what’s know as the “jinn”.

Islam, Women and Me airs on Tuesday at 10.45pm on BBC One.

We pay for your stories! Do you have a story for The Sun Online news team? Email us at [email protected] or call 0207 782 4368. We pay for videos too. Click here to upload yours.

More from The Sun

How to be a successful muslim wife

Parents ‘numb with grief’ after baby killed in pram crash on ‘first walk’

How to be a successful muslim wife

SIMPLY THE TEST

Twice-weekly free rapid Covid tests for all Brits will be here by FRIDAY

How to be a successful muslim wife

Pubs WITHOUT a beer garden can still reopen on April 12 in lockdown loophole

How to be a successful muslim wife

BEER WE GO

Pubs, shops, and hairdressers WILL reopen on April 12, Boris Johnson to confirm

Follow The Sun

Services

  • Sign Up To The Sun
  • About Us
  • Editorial Complaints
  • Clarifications and Corrections
  • News Licensing
  • Advertising
  • Contact Us
  • Commissioning Terms
  • Help Hub
  • Topic A-Z
  • Cookie Settings
  • Contact Preferences

©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. “The Sun”, “Sun”, “Sun Online” are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers’ Limited’s Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us. To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)

Post Rating

Post Tags

Share This

  • Other Posts

    • Council for The Just Marriage
    • Beware Of Talking Too Much
    • Tip Of The Week- Why You Need To Study The Seerah of The Prophet SAW
    • Marriage delayed
    • Quality Time with Dad

    Author: Muhammad AlShareef

    1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

    2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

    3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

    4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives – radi Allahu ‘anhunn. It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

    5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

    6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

    7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

    8. Don’t be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah – radi Allahu ‘anha – was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

    9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would race his wife Aisha – radi Allahu ‘anha – in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

    10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

    In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah – azza wa jall – to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows best !!

    Marriage is a very sacred deed, especially in Islam, as the Qur’an teaches us the importance of it. The Qur’an states several emphasis on marriage and how and why it should be done.

    As a man, when searching for a wife the most crucial principle one has to understand is that whatever pleases you about a woman will suffice. There are further clarifications in Islam on what are the qualities you should be looking for in a wife. This is one of the rights of your children upon you that you choose a good mother for them.

    How to be a successful muslim wife

    So what are the qualities men should seek to marry

    #1. A righteous woman-

    Out of all the qualities to seek for in a woman, I believe this is the most important quality amongst all.

    Abu Hurairah, peace and blessings be upon him reported that the Prophet SAW said: “A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons; wealth, social status, beauty and deen (piety). So seek the one with deen – may you then be successful.” (Recorded inBukhari& Muslim).

    The best property that a man can have is a woman that can remind him to fulfil his religious deeds, a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him keep his faith strong.

    #2. Virgins-

    On the authority of Abdullah bin Masud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said: “Marry virgins, because they have sweeter mouths (i.e. speech) and more fertile wombs, and are easier to be satisfied with little wealth.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani). Seeking a virgin woman is important but not necessarily a recommended quality; thus the woman may not be a virgin but possesses some of the qualities we shall discuss further.

    #3. A loving wife-

    Another quality to seek in a woman is her ability to be loving and caring, as she’ll be understanding, patient and willing to cope with you during hard times.

    Prophet Muhammad SAW said “The best of your women are those who are bearers of many children, loving, comforting, and tolerant – provided that they have taqwa to Allah. And the worst of your women are those who display their charms, and who walk with arrogance. Such are the hypocrites, and those of them who will enter the Jannah (Heaven) are as rare as are the red-beaked and red-legged crows.”

    It was reported my Abdullah bin Masud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said; “Marry virgins, because they have sweeter mouths (i.e. speech) and more fertile wombs, and are easier to be satisfied with little wealth.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani).

    #4. Beauty-

    The physical appearance of a woman is another important quality to consider when seeking for a wife, because men are physical by nature, beauty is important.

    On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him reported Allah’s Messenger SAW said: “The best of women is that who pleases him (husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders, and does not subject her person or money to what he dislikes.” (Recorded by Ahmad)

    Marriage nowadays has been distorted. Most people especially youths marry for riches and several unimportant reasons according to Islam, so as a man it is crucial that you abide by the teachings of Islam in order to have a prosperous marriage.

    That concludes today’s article, and please make sure to leave a comment below about your thoughts and ideas on today’s topic.

    Success is undoubtedly a goal in life for everyone. But the path to success in never easy, and some give up in the middle. Only those who are strong enough will be able to finish the journey and reach success at the end of it. In order to be successful, many people do anything needed even when it’s violating law and people.

    As a holistic way of life, our religion provided the way how to become successful in life in Islam. With these very Islamic way, a Muslim will be successful not only in life but in the Hereafter as well.

    Here are how to become successful in life in Islam:

    1. Set the Intention Right

    Everything begin with the intention. If we start something with the right intention, to seek for blessing from Allah SWT, it will be easier for us. When we are working hard to be successful by looking at Allah SWT, He will always be with us. It matters more than anything. Also read Benefits of Good Deeds in Islam

    1. Have Passion in Your Efforts

    Nobody will be able to reach for their goals unless they have passion in it. Passion is an inner drive that motivates us to always work even harder and not giving up. Passion is main ingredients for success as it works as machine who keeps us alive.

    “Even so, there are some who choose to worship others besides God as rivals to Him, loving them with the love due to God, but the believers have greater love for God.” (2:165)

    1. Give the Best on Work

    One can dream as high as possible, but dream will remain dream if you don’t work to make it true. Your work define your success, as Allah SWT will not change someone unless they have will and work for the change. Also read Quran Dua for Success

    “You who believe, be steadfast, more steadfast than others; be ready; always be mindful of God so that you may prosper.” (3:200)

    1. Focus on Success

    “Indeed, Abraham was a [comprehensive] leader, devoutly obedient to Allah, inclining toward truth [ḥanīf], and he was not of those who associate others with Allah.” (16:120)

    If we want to be successful in life, we may take a look at the life of the Prophet. On the verse above, it was Ibrahim who devotedly focus on reaching his goal as a hanif. Stay focus on what you aim, do it in the right way, and remove all the distractions.

    “So proclaim openly [connotation of going through something, like to split the desert in two with your trail] what you have been commanded (to say), and ignore the idolaters.” (15:94)

    1. Push the Limits

    “But We shall be sure to guide to Our ways those who strive hard for Our cause: God is with those who do good.” (29:69)

    Everyone will meet obstacles in their way to success and those who is not strong enough to endure it give up in the middle. Push the wall who stands between you and the success. Have faith that you will eventually reach the end and obstacles are only temporary. Also read Importance of Dignity of Work in Islam

    1. Never Stop Learning

    “And whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves.” (42:38)

    Another way how to become successful in life in Islam is by never stop learning. Exchange ideas and share minds with others so you can have many things to learn everyday. All those people will help you to reach the success faster than when you are doing it alone. Always look for new ideas, open to new concepts, and never afraid to innovate new things.

    1. Improve Everyday

    “Seek the life to come by means of what God has granted you, but do not neglect your rightful share in this world. Do good to others as God has done good to you.” (28:77)

    A successful person never satisfied with who he is today. He always want to climb higher, be better, and improve everyday. Set a high standard, even for yourself, so that you always want to be better. If you have reach a point of success, don’t stay there for to long. While being grateful to Allah SWT, aim for higher point of success in life. Don’t be lazy and use your time efficiently. Also read How to Improve Faith in Islam

    1. Do Good to Others

    Before you become a successful person, prove that you are useful and helpful to everyone around you. So that when you reach the top someday, you stay humbled and devote your success for the good of others.

    “[Believers], you are the best community singled out for people: you order what is right, forbid what is wrong, and believe in God.” (3:110)

    1. Be Persistence

    Despite everyone know that persistence is what they need to reach for success, most of them are unable to be. Persistence is the combination of pushing yourself to the limits and improve everyday. By being persistence, you are always one step closer toward you goals. Also read How to Become Rich in Islamic Way

    “Believers, why, when it is said to you, ‘Go and fight in God’s way,’ do you feel weighed down to the ground? Do you prefer this world to the life to come? How small the enjoyment of this world is, compared with the life to come!” (9:38)

    1. See Advantage in Disaster

    “With every hardship there is ease, with every hardship there is ease.” (94:5-6)

    Life is full of surprise, even the unpleasant ones. Always think positive of Allah SWT, because there are blessings in disguise. A clever person is someone who always see good in every unfortunate things.

    1. Make Many Friends

    Instead of enemy, make as many friends as possible. When you are in a bad relationship with someone, you may have lose a great teacher from whom you can learn a lot. Also read How to Choose Good Friends in Islam

    “You will see your direst enemy has become your closest friend.” (41”34)

    1. Do What is Possible

    Between two opportunities, choose one that the most possible. If you are sure about what you’re going to do, it’s easier for you to be successful.

    Aisha (RA) said, “Whenever the Prophet had to choose between two options, he always opted for the easier choice.” (Bukhari)

    Those are the ways how to become successful in life in Islam. One thing you must remember is that success is due to Allah and from Allah. So always be in remembrance of Allah SWT when you make your effort toward success.

    • Join Date: Aug 2002
    • Posts: 1953

    10Tips How to be a Successful Wife

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 25251

    What does ‘freedom’ mean?

    Does the eagle want to swim in the sea,
    Restricted by the sky?

    Does the fish want to dance on the wind,
    Not enough river to explore?


    Yet the sky is freedom for the bird
    but death for the fish,

    The sea is wide for the fish
    but will engulf the bird.

    We ask for freedom but freedom to do what?
    We can only express our nature as it was created.

    Yet we chose the prison and call it freedom.

    Comment

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 6564

    this is not a joke, I really want to know

    Comment

    • Join Date: Sep 2004
    • Posts: 9

    depends on who your married to sis I would say yes many of the tips have been done and succesful too, but you have to be with someone who accepts these things and has much compassion and love in his heart for ya.

    I know sisters that for example have done the apology even when they werent wrong but if they have a bullheaded husband he still may not accept it. then I know some that as soon as they see that from their wife say OH mashaa Allah you know in thinking you really arent the one who should be apologizing i should be ya know so i guess the success rate has alot to do with the spouse too.

    i like the tip about the hoor al ayn though mashaa Allah thats a good one.

    Comment

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 6564

    okay, I guess tip #1 should be. find a brother who accepts these things. but I like tips #7 through 10. As for the rest, you’re right, it depends on the kind of man you’re married to. Saying sorry to a jerk when it’s not your fault is a little hard to do.
    Insha Allah I pray I don’t land with a Jerk.

    Comment

    okay, I guess tip #1 should be. find a brother who accepts these things. but I like tips #7 through 10. As for the rest, you’re right, it depends on the kind of man you’re married to. Saying sorry to a jerk when it’s not your fault is a little hard to do.
    Insha Allah I pray I don’t land with a Jerk.

    Comment

    • Join Date: Jun 2004
    • Posts: 1545

    Comment

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 3066

    I would never want a wife like that. I want a wife who wants more than simply stays at home and clean house. I do not want a wife that is thanking me constantly. And above all I want a wife who not only wants to fight back, but will fight back when she is knows she is right, or knows when I am wrong. I want a wife with her own opinions and her own ideas, and ideals and is willing to stand up do defend and fight for them. I also do not want a wife that is dependent upon me.

    Just wanted to say that because other cultures and other people have different views of what type of person they want to marry.

    Comment

    • Join Date: Jul 2003
    • Posts: 9646

    Comment

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 3066

    Comment

    • Join Date: Jun 2004
    • Posts: 1545

    She got to be a good cook too, you know like a master chef or something.

    Ain’t afraid to experiment in the kitchen, and fix up a tasty plate.

    Comment

    • Join Date: Aug 2004
    • Posts: 130

    Comment

    • Join Date: Aug 2004
    • Posts: 130

    Comment

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 3066

    Yes, in my opinion the only wife worth having is a wife who is willing to speak her mind, stand up for herself, and is a person who has her own ideas, ideals, and opinions. The only wife worth having is a wife who is willing to argue when she thinks she is right or when I am wrong. The only wife worth having is a wife that you can have an intellectual conversation or argument with; and is person who has a different views of the world than my own. Also, she must be a person who can mentally challenge me and is my equal in knowledge and intelligence, and even better, someone who even surpasses my own knowledge and wisdom from time to time. That is what makes life worth living.

    The last thing I want is to be married to someone who always says “yes dear” or “I am sorry. you are right as always.” That would be the worst type of wife in my opinion. What would the fun of being marrying someone like that? What is the point of marrying someone like that?

    Question

    Answer

    Praise be to Allah.

    As this world is a stage that leads to the hereafter, in which man is tested to see what he will do, so that he will be requited for it on the Day of Resurrection, what the wise Muslim must do is seek in this world everything that will help him to attain happiness and bliss in the hereafter. The most important help and support is righteous company. That begins with the Muslim society in which he lives, then with choosing pious friends, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4832); classed as hasan (good) by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.

    Then finally he should choose a righteous wife who he hopes will be the best companion to help him attain eternal happiness in paradise with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.

    The righteous wife is one who is good in many aspects.

    She is the one who it is thought will guard her chastity and her honour in the husband’s presence and absence, and be diligent with regard to both minor and major issues.

    Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard”

    She is the one who is of good character and has good manners. She is not known for foul speech, meanness or bad manners; rather she is good-natured, pure of soul and clean of heart, speaks in a gentle manner and treats people kindly. More important than all of that, she accepts advice and listens to it attentively and wholeheartedly; she is not one of those who are used to arguing stubbornly and arrogantly.

    Al-Asma‘i said: An elder from the tribe of Banu’l-‘Anbar said: It was said that women are of three types: one who is easy-going, gentle, chaste and dignified, Muslim, a help to her family, and not a burden on them; one who is merely a vessel for childbearing; and one who is like a heavy yoke that Allah places on the neck of whomever He wills, and takes it away from whomever He wills.

    One of the scholars said: The best of women is the one who, if she is given she is grateful, and if she is deprived she is patient; you feel happy when you look at her, and she obeys you if you instruct her to do something.

    She is the one who upholds her connection to her Lord and always strives to increase her level of faith and piety. She does not omit any obligatory duty, and she is keen to do some naafil (supererogatory) deeds. She gives precedence to pleasing Allah, may He be glorified, over everything else.

    Concerning that, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466).

    The righteous wife is the one whom you see is serious about caring for and raising your children, teaching them Islam, good manners and the Qur’an, and instilling in them love for Allah, love for His Messenger, and love of good for people. Her main concern is not what they may attain in this world of prominence, wealth and degrees; rather she is concerned that they should attain a high level of piety, religious commitment, good character and knowledge.

    In addition to all of that, the Muslim should choose a wife who gives him comfort when he sees her, and he feels joy in his heart when she is present, so she fills his house and his life with ease, joy and happiness.

    It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: It was said: O Messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best? He said: “The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, and she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, and she does not do anything with regard to herself or his wealth in a manner of which he does not approve.”

    Narrated by Ahmad (2/251); classed as hasan (good) by al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah (1838).

    It was said to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her): Which type of woman is best? She said: The one who does not know about saying bad things, and she is not crafty like men; her focus is on adorning herself for her husband and taking care of her family.

    See: Muhaadaraat al-Udaba’ by ar-Raaghib al-Asfahaani (1/410); ‘Uyoon al-Akhbaar by Ibn Qutaybah (1/375).

    For more information, see also questions no. 6585, 8391, 26744, and 83777.