How to be comfortable around that special someone

How to be comfortable around that special someone

If you’re shy, or have some type of social anxiety, then making people feel comfortable around you might seem like an insurmountable feat. Your more socially graceful friends have the ability to walk into a room, light it up, and put everyone at ease. But you? Well, you’re queen of the awkward joke and ruler of the downhill conversation.

While this is an adorably quirky trait in the right circles, it’s not exactly the most winning quality when trying to score new friends. But never fear: There are ways to turn yourself around socially, and become the type of person everyone gravitates towards.

The best place to start is with a quick look at how you carry yourself. “Facial expression and body language are big evaluation methods that help us decide who is receptive to our attempt to initiate connection,” says Dr. Michele Barton in an email to Bustle. “We innately want to be loved and comforted, therefore will approach a smiling face with open posture over a scowl face and crossed arms, any day.”

If you remember anything, remember that body language is everything. Read on for some more ways to give off that comfy vibe, and be the most approachable person in the room.

1. Get Your Smile On

If you want to be incredibly approachable while also making people feel comfy in your presence, then pay attention to what your face looks like. “A smile is one of the clearest invitations you can send that you are receptive to interaction,” Barton says. Just be sure it’s natural, and not some plastered on grin — that’ll obviously come off as more creepy than inviting.

2. Give Off A Confident Vibe

Even if you’re secretly feeling nervous, projecting a confident vibe will help put others at ease. “A confident person is generally much easier to be around than someone who is uncomfortable in her own skin,” said etiquette expert Debbie Mayne, on Etiquette.About.com. “Be the person who has direction and the self-assuredness to be at ease in all settings.”

3. Dish Out The Compliments

Some people have the innate ability to slip compliments in over the course of a conversation, and it’s an incredibly likable trait. “Compliments delivered genuinely and with a smile are the universal ice breaker,” Barton says. So steal this tip and start peppering them into your daily interactions. You’ll notice a huge difference in how people act around you.

4. Slow Your Roll

If you’re the type who gets on a roll and starts talking faster and faster, it may be time to check yourself. “Fast talk, rapid instructions or questions, and quick movements can rattle or overwhelm others,” said Rick Hanson, Ph.D., on Psychology Today. If you want everyone to enjoy being around you, then make it a point to slow down.

5. Have Open Body Language

There’s a huge difference in how people feel around those who have closed off body language, versus those who are more open. People with open body language make good eye contact, turn towards whoever they’re talking to, and seem relaxed. Practice this at your next get together, and see if it doesn’t make a difference.

6. Show That You’re Actually Listening

Nothing feels worse than trying to chat with someone who is constantly glancing at their phone. If you do this — accidentally or otherwise — make it point to stop. “The person you are speaking to at any given time should feel as though he is the most important person in the room,” Mayne said. “Make eye contact, smile when appropriate, and nod to show that you are listening.”

7. Use The Mirroring Technique

Mirroring is a sneaky, subconscious way to make people feel at ease. “[It] starts by observing a person’s body posture and then subtly letting your body reflect his position,” said Carol Kinsey Goman on Forbes. If they are standing, so should you. And if they lean back, go ahead and copy them. They’ll suddenly feel comfy, without quite knowing why.

8. Make Them Feel At Home

Have guests over? Whatever you do, don’t get all in your head and forget to be a good host. Tell people to sit, relax, and make themselves at home. Bring them snacks, bring them drinks, and give off a positive vibe. Remember, if you feel comfy, they’ll feel comfy.

9. Be Your Hilarious Self

All the welcoming people of the world have one thing in common — a good sense of humor. So if you find yourself stiffening up, or not knowing what to say, a joke is always a good place to start. “It shows that you are a happy person, and that will pull people toward you,” Mayne explained. If you’re joking around, everyone else will follow suit.

10. Let The Honesty Fly

People can tell when you’re aren’t being truthful, or when you’re holding something back. And it doesn’t exactly make for the highest of comfort levels. That’s why dropping a little honesty is definitely a good idea. As Kristin Wong said on Lifehacker.com, “When you tell the truth, you have a better chance at building a meaningful relationship with that person.” And that’s your goal after all, right?

11. Remember To Be Nice

OK, so above anything else, remember to always be a nice person. As Mayne said, “The first step in putting others at ease is to be gracious and kind to everyone.” Not that it needs explaining, but saying thank you, sending sweet notes, or doing little favors will go a long way in making people feel good.

And that’s really the cornerstone of helping them feel more comfortable around you. Be nice, be kind, throw in some compliments, and you’ll be winning people over in no time.

You will definitely feel the jitters around your boyfriend or girlfriend when you are a new couple. But this is expected to clear up soon. Some people need a little help in learning how to relax around a new girlfriend or boyfriend. Experts in relationships have developed different solutions, but there are those that have been proven to work through studies. The most important thing is how you apply these solutions while spending time with him or her.

Stay Calm

Build Confidence

Be Yourself

Discuss Positive Things

Make the Date Short

Those on first dates often do not have a lot to discuss as people have not known each other well yet. Since it is normal to feel a bit uncomfortable early in a relationship, the date should be relatively short. After getting used to each other, you can spend as much time as possible together. The problem with prolonging moments when both of you are nervous is that it is easy to mess up the moment.

With the above tips, anyone will be comfortable around a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Better still, relaxing around each other will grow and strengthen your new relationship.

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How to be comfortable around that special someone

Have you ever watched people squirm when they’re in an uncomfortable or awkward situation? It’s not difficult to put them at ease if you know and master a few simple skills.

Being a gracious person requires knowing good manners and having the ability to put other people at ease. Although some people seem to have been born with this knack, it can be learned. Once you learn, practice, and develop this skill, you’ll be amazed by how people flock to you.

Be Gracious

The first step in putting others at ease is to be gracious and kind to everyone. Learn basic manners and use them in all situations, whether you are at a formal get-together or hanging out with friends.

Everyday manners tips:

  • Learn important etiquette rules for any social setting you’re getting yourself into. These guidelines apply when you’re hanging out with friends and while you’re having lunch with coworkers. It’s important to know how to act in social settings, or you’ll find yourself being left out.
  • Some etiquette rules apply to almost all occasions. Your friends and coworkers will see that you know how to act in all situations, and they’re probably going to follow your lead.
  • Avoid engaging in bad manners. You probably already know what they are and whether or not you’re guilty of some of them. Do whatever it takes to break the habit. You might even ask a close friend to call you out if you slip up.

Have Empathy

When you’re with other people, try not to think about your own feelings so much. If you turn the attention to others, they will be drawn to you because you care. Ask questions about them and listen to their answers. Do something nice for someone else without expecting something in return.

Ways to show that you care:

  • Do something special for the people in your life and make it specific to each one’s needs.
  • Engage in conversation that interests the people you are with. If you sense that they have become disengaged, switch topics to something that they care about. Always listen to what the other person says without thinking about what you want to say next.
  • Acknowledge others and give them praise for accomplishments. Never take credit for other people’s work.

Show Confidence

A confident person is generally much easier to be around than someone who is uncomfortable in her own skin. Be the person who has direction and the self-assuredness to be at ease in all settings. If you’ve had a rough day, try not to burden everyone else with the details.

There is nothing wrong with venting occasionally, but be careful not to do it too often. Doing so will make people very uncomfortable, and they’ll start backing away to find more positivity. You don’t want to become that person who is a chronic complainer.

Do your best to relax. If you’re nervous, others will be too, so take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Avoid talking too fast, or you’ll appear tense. Give the people you’re around plenty of personal space so they won’t feel crowded.

Be Aware

Know what is going on around you. This includes everything from noticing the person who is standing alone to knowing the latest current events.

Ways to show awareness:

  • Approach someone who is standing alone, shake her hand, and ask appropriate questions about her. Respond with comments to let her know you’re actually listening to her.
  • Read the newspaper or listen to the news regularly so you can carry on a decent conversation about what is going on in the world. It is okay to state your opinion but always listen to opposing views with respect.
  • Pay attention to body language and know when it’s time to change the subject or end the conversation.

Be Engaged

Give the other person your total attention. Avoid periodic glances over their shoulder, or they will think you’re looking for an escape. The person you are speaking to at any given time should feel as though he is the most important person in the room. Make eye contact, smile when appropriate, and nod to show that you are listening.

Use Humor

Allow yourself to relax and enjoy a good laugh periodically. It shows that you are a happy person, and that will pull people toward you. Don’t take every little comment too seriously, including those that pertain to you. What you perceive as negative may actually be positive to others. Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes.

How to be comfortable around that special someone

It’s amazing when you get to that point in your relationship where you can relax and fully be yourself, but you want this comfort to only remain a positive. If you’re too laid back and stop putting in any effort, you might be exhibiting some signs that you’re too comfortable in your relationship. You want to get to that point where you’re not stressing out about the little things, but you also want to make sure you’re being cognizant of how your partner feels and make sure you’re not letting their feelings and priorities fall by the wayside either.

“When you become too comfortable in a relationship, you run the risk of not prioritizing the relationship,” says psychologist Piper Grant, Psy.D, MPH over email. “When we begin a relationship, we take incredible consideration in taking care of ourselves, presenting ourselves, being considerate of our partner, and putting effort into the relationship. As time goes on, if we begin to feel too comfortable, there is the risk that we don’t do all of these things and the relationship can suffer as a result.”

Reaching this stage of a relationship involves a delicate balance, because being comfortable with another person can be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding parts of a relationship — you just don’t want the the comfort to spark any negatives. Here are 11 signs you’re too comfortable in a relationship and your comfort is actually harming it.

You’re Always Putting Things Off

You might find that you are procrastinating uncomfortable conversations or even putting off making important changes for yourself or your relationship. “Putting things off until tomorrow, or the next day, or some undefined day in the future doesn’t help things,” says psychologist David J. Glass over email. “It creates a new form of anxiety in your mate, wondering if their needs will ever be met or at least addressed. Make sure you make time for the hard conversations, even if you’re feeling presently satisfied.

How to be comfortable around that special someone

Mention the word “soulmate” to a group of people and you’re bound to get a few eye rolls. The idea that there’s one magical person for you who you’ll fall in love with instantly and never disagree with is just not realistic.

What does exist — at least for many people — is a person who you know instinctively, who you connect with on the deepest level and who allows you to grow as a person within the relationship. When that person is a romantic partner, you’ve come across something truly special.

So how do you know when you’ve found The One? Below, a team of love and relationship experts identify the most telling signs.

1. You communicate without speaking.

Soulmates can read each other like an open book. “They connect fervently on every level of being,” clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Carmen Harra told The Huffington Post. “One may finish the other’s sentences, they may pick up the phone to call each other simultaneously, or feel like they simply can’t be without their partner.”

Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and author of Love Sense, said that a soulmate also knows how to respond to your emotional signals. “They stay close when you confide, give you their full attention and move in to answer to your needs, touching your hand when you are a little unsure, beaming and hugging you when you are glad, and tenderly comforting you when you are in pain,” she added.

2. You know in your gut that you’ve found The One.

The old adage “When you know, you know” rings true when it comes to a soulmate connection. “There really is no guessing or wondering when the real thing comes along,” wedding officiant and author Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway told The Huffington Post. “There is usually a telltale sign that lets you know when true love has arrived -– a voice in your head, a sense of recognition or a gut feeling that this is someone special to you.”

3. The physical chemistry is palpable.

. and the electricity that you feel doesn’t just happen on a sexual level. “Holding the hand of your soulmate throws your spirit into a whirlwind, even many years into the relationship,” Harra said.

4. You’ve been totally comfortable around each other since day one.

Soulmates connect with ease right off the bat and let their true colors show without fear of judgment. “Soulmates often feel a sense of the familiar and a sense of comfort around each other,” Brockway said. “Many people say it’s easier to relax into that person and allow themselves to be vulnerable.”

“It is the one who opens up to you –- who lets you in, so you can see them,” Johnson added. “This is the kind of person who takes risks and shares about their inner world, their emotions and their needs.”

5. But the relationship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. He or she challenges you like no one else can.

The soulmate relationship, despite what people might assume, isn’t always smooth sailing. “A soulmate isn’t always wrapped in the perfect package, physically or in terms of life circumstances — nor does it mean that the relationship will come without challenge,” author Kailen Rosenberg of matchmaking firm The Love Architects said. “Yet, the difference is that the life circumstances and the difficult challenges are a strengthening power that becomes the glue that keeps you together through the difficult times and helps each of you become your most authentic self.”

What’s more, we rely on our soulmates to help us evolve as people. “You might find a soulmate relationship to be rocky, and that your partner is someone who pushes your buttons and aggravates you at first because they bring with them some of the more difficult lessons for the soul,” Brockway said.

6. You may not see eye-to-eye on every little thing, but you’re on the same page where it really matters.

“A soulmate relationship doesn’t necessarily mean both partners always share the same views, but that their overall goals and ambitions match,” Harra said. “More diminutive opinions will differ, but soulmates generally have the same virtues and values and see the world through a similar lens.”

7. The relationship brings both partners a sense of inner calm.

It’s obvious when you’re with the wrong person; you are insecure about the relationship and worry that one false move will turn your partner off. That’s not the case for soulmates.

“You feel confident that your partner is with you for the long haul,” dating expert Tracey Steinberg, author of Flirt For Fun & Meet The One said. “No matter what happens in your lives, you both agree that you are teammates and in it together.” She continued, “Your inner voice tells you that you are in a healthy relationship. You trust each other, feel confident and comfortable around each other and feel safe discussing challenging topics in a mature way.”

8. You and your partner have separate identities, but you face the world as one.

“Soulmates recognize that they are two parts of the same whole, and no outside influence or external matter can break that bond,” Harra said.

9. You may have known each other for years, but you suddenly find yourselves ready for love at the same time.

When it comes to true love, timing is everything. “I have married so many couples who met in high school or in their twenties, maybe dated, broke up, moved on, or hung out around the same circle of friends and never connected,” Brockway told The Huffington Post. “Then one day, they run into each other again, sometimes in magical ways, and love blooms.” Keep an open mind and an open heart so that when your soulmate comes knocking, you’re ready to answer the door.

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You can face discomfort and anxiety by changing your relationship to change.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Many of us prefer the easy road. We possess a natural inclination to stick with the status quo, to resist the unknown, to stay comfortable. It’s tied to our ancestral drive to survive. We’re afraid of trying something new. We want to avoid change, so we don’t push ourselves to the next level. In today’s disruptive and accelerating world, it helps to change your relationship to change and become comfortable being uncomfortable.

We think life is only about creating safety and security and pursuing contentment. These things are important and part of daily life, but life is filled with pleasure and pain, satisfaction and suffering, delight and difficulty. By focusing only on the comfort side of the picture, we cut ourselves off from the full range of human experience—and the knowledge, skills, and empathy that come with the other side.

If you’re uncomfortable with discomfort, you probably run away from uncertainty and change. In today’s world, you can’t run away from change! Everything is in a constant state of flux. Our skin changes, the grass changes, people change-change is everywhere on a moment to moment basis.

When you hide from the tough issues, you may play safe and refuse to take risks. You may steer clear of difficult conversations at home and at work. Afraid of conflict, you may fail to challenge yourself or others, to greater performance and a better life.

To live fully, you must be willing to step into the unknown, now more than ever. Our digital and global world requires it. You must be willing to challenge yourself to grow and change. And change feels uncomfortable for most of us. Your fear and anxiety and discomfort are natural, human reactions to life.

In order to thrive in today’s chaotic world, we must be willing to change our relationship to change and be ready for a paradigm shift. Get Real is one of the practices for becoming more conscious addressed in our books and corporate workshops. We teach people to think of change in a different way. Instead of “change happens to me,” think “making change happen for me.” Accepting that change is inevitable can be a very freeing and comforting thought.

To be effective at navigating change, we must first accept that uncertainty is the reality of the day and we must possess the confidence and personal power to navigate through the change. When you have a high sense of personal power, you believe that you can shape your outcomes, and this gives you confidence and courage to shape change and your outcomes.

When you have low personal power, you question your ability to shape outcomes, or feel you lack the ability to influence others or your environment. Conscious people recognize and accept that change is inevitable and use their self-awareness to assess where they are and where they want to go and use their personal power to get there. Most of us lie somewhere on the spectrum of high to low personal power. Becoming more self-aware and conscious can move us on the way to higher personal power and a greater ability to embrace change.

How to be comfortable around that special someone

Have you ever watched people squirm when they’re in an uncomfortable or awkward situation? It’s not difficult to put them at ease if you know and master a few simple skills.

Being a gracious person requires knowing good manners and having the ability to put other people at ease. Although some people seem to have been born with this knack, it can be learned. Once you learn, practice, and develop this skill, you’ll be amazed by how people flock to you.

Be Gracious

The first step in putting others at ease is to be gracious and kind to everyone. Learn basic manners and use them in all situations, whether you are at a formal get-together or hanging out with friends.

Everyday manners tips:

  • Learn important etiquette rules for any social setting you’re getting yourself into. These guidelines apply when you’re hanging out with friends and while you’re having lunch with coworkers. It’s important to know how to act in social settings, or you’ll find yourself being left out.
  • Some etiquette rules apply to almost all occasions. Your friends and coworkers will see that you know how to act in all situations, and they’re probably going to follow your lead.
  • Avoid engaging in bad manners. You probably already know what they are and whether or not you’re guilty of some of them. Do whatever it takes to break the habit. You might even ask a close friend to call you out if you slip up.

Have Empathy

When you’re with other people, try not to think about your own feelings so much. If you turn the attention to others, they will be drawn to you because you care. Ask questions about them and listen to their answers. Do something nice for someone else without expecting something in return.

Ways to show that you care:

  • Do something special for the people in your life and make it specific to each one’s needs.
  • Engage in conversation that interests the people you are with. If you sense that they have become disengaged, switch topics to something that they care about. Always listen to what the other person says without thinking about what you want to say next.
  • Acknowledge others and give them praise for accomplishments. Never take credit for other people’s work.

Show Confidence

A confident person is generally much easier to be around than someone who is uncomfortable in her own skin. Be the person who has direction and the self-assuredness to be at ease in all settings. If you’ve had a rough day, try not to burden everyone else with the details.

There is nothing wrong with venting occasionally, but be careful not to do it too often. Doing so will make people very uncomfortable, and they’ll start backing away to find more positivity. You don’t want to become that person who is a chronic complainer.

Do your best to relax. If you’re nervous, others will be too, so take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Avoid talking too fast, or you’ll appear tense. Give the people you’re around plenty of personal space so they won’t feel crowded.

Be Aware

Know what is going on around you. This includes everything from noticing the person who is standing alone to knowing the latest current events.

Ways to show awareness:

  • Approach someone who is standing alone, shake her hand, and ask appropriate questions about her. Respond with comments to let her know you’re actually listening to her.
  • Read the newspaper or listen to the news regularly so you can carry on a decent conversation about what is going on in the world. It is okay to state your opinion but always listen to opposing views with respect.
  • Pay attention to body language and know when it’s time to change the subject or end the conversation.

Be Engaged

Give the other person your total attention. Avoid periodic glances over their shoulder, or they will think you’re looking for an escape. The person you are speaking to at any given time should feel as though he is the most important person in the room. Make eye contact, smile when appropriate, and nod to show that you are listening.

Use Humor

Allow yourself to relax and enjoy a good laugh periodically. It shows that you are a happy person, and that will pull people toward you. Don’t take every little comment too seriously, including those that pertain to you. What you perceive as negative may actually be positive to others. Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes.

There’s this common misconception floating around about introverts, and how they’re all a bunch of lone wolves who loathe all things social. While it’s true that introverts typically aren’t the joiners of the group (which, BTW, is totally fine), they’re still human, and introverted humans crave interaction just as much as extroverted humans do — just, maybe not in the same way. So if, for the majority of your life, you’ve been sitting on the sidelines solo, and you want to experience life a little differently in the upcoming year, there are little ways introverts can be outgoing, too. It just takes a little practice, and maybe a little more energy than you might be used to expending. So grab a cup of coffee, have an emergency escape route planned, and let’s get social(ish).

Personally, I’ve definitely gone through phases in my life where I’ve considered myself more extroverted than introverted, and vice versa, but I’ve recently noticed that, the older I get, the more introverted I am. And, speaking from experience, it’s not that I don’t ever have the urge to go out to dinner with a group, or get dressed up and go dancing with a friend. It’s just that, when it comes down to it, I know which types of social situations I’ll feel most comfortable in.

Now that I think about it, that really is the trick to becoming a more outgoing introvert: getting comfortable with, and being able to identify, that gut feeling — the one that says, if I attend this event, I’ll a) go with the intention of staying for more than an hour out of genuine enjoyment, or b) end up hanging around in sheer agony just as a common courtesy toward the hostess. Trust me, there’s a laundry list of invites I’ll kindly RSVP a hard “no” to, because I know deep down I’d be putting myself in an awkward situation. You just have to keep in mind that being outgoing doesn’t mean forcing yourself to seize every opportunity to be social. It’s about feeling confident in social situations and surrounding yourself with people who bring you joy.

According to Jor-El Caraballo, a mental health expert and co-founder of Viva Wellness, introversion doesn’t refer to how someone feels about other people; rather, it’s a measure of energy. “It’s not that introverts aren’t outgoing or don’t like people — it’s more that their focus in relating to others is just different,” Caraballo tells Elite Daily in an email.

Many introverts “need time away from people to recharge,” he adds. In other words, if you’re an introvert who wants to become more outgoing, the best thing you can do is establish balance in your social interactions. To find your own balance, here are some expert tips on how to become a more outgoing introvert in the new year.

Start By Socializing In Small Groups

Typically someone who is “outgoing” is associated with large groups, but because introverts tend to feel shy and awkward in big group settings, Caraballo tells Elite Daily that it’s a good idea to ease into these types of new social experiences, rather than dive in with everything all at once.

“Since introverts typically don’t do well in large groups, try to arrange meet-ups of one to two people at a time instead [of] trying to start with a large group, and then slowly add on more people [as] you feel comfortable,” he suggests. “This will help you slowly get more comfortable with larger groups, rather than draining your energy all at once.”

Share A Piece Of Yourself With Others

Many introverts spend a lot of time on their own, and some of them spend that time creating. If you’re an introvert who’s also an artist, whether you write poetry, paint pictures, or play music, one of the best ways to connect with more people is to share these talents with others (as long as you’re comfortable doing so, of course).

“When someone who is introverted gets charged up, they often appreciate sharing that with others in some form or another, whether in writing or in person in a one-on-one or small group conversation,” Michael Alcee, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist based in Tarrytown, New York (who also tells me he identifies as an introvert), tells Elite Daily.

So grab a cup of coffee with a friend, bring your notebook along, and let them peruse the pages. This is an excellent way to establish deeper connections with others, and it opens up the opportunity for more similar experiences together.

Know Your Limits, And Honor Them

If you’re a true introvert at your core, then merely attempting to be even mildly outgoing is, oftentimes, a huge step outside your comfort zone. Don’t be alarmed if you get overwhelmed, or need to take a break from a social situation. Just remember the wise words of Dr. Seuss: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” In other words, surround yourself with people who know who you are and what you’re about, and who will understand if you have to dip out early, or get some air by yourself.

“Put some healthy introvert time limits on [your plans], even if that means making an excuse that you have something to go to next,” Alcee says. “It’s important to recognize that you don’t have to be outgoing in order to feel fulfilled, but instead look at it like this: This is less familiar territory where you can possibly discover and grow in unexpected ways.”

Ask For Directions Sometimes Instead Of Depending On Your Phone

Listen, GPS and Google Maps are wonderful and all, but asking another human being for directions is definitely a thing people did once upon a time. And, according to Samantha Morrison, a health and wellness expert for Glacier Wellness, it’s also one of the easiest ways to become more confident and comfortable approaching others.

“Even if you know exactly where you’re going, all you have to do is stop a friendly-looking stranger and ask for their help,” she tells Elite Daily. “Most people are happy to help, and it will only take 10 seconds, then it’s over.”

Strike Up A Conversation With A Compliment

“An incredibly easy way to expand into a deeper topic [is what I call] the compliment-to-conversation technique,” editor-in-chief of the career blog PowerSuiting.com, Wendy Toth, tells Elite Daily. The gist is that, when you compliment someone on something specific, like their bag or bracelet, there’s a good chance they’ll share a little detail about it, like where they got it, or who gave it to them.

From there, Toth says, you can take that little nugget of information and run with it. “Ask a follow-up question,” she suggests. “If they say, ‘Thanks, it was a graduation gift,’ you can say, ‘Oh, where did you go to school?’ And boom, you are off and running.”

Go To Events That Speak To Your Interests

I can only speak from my own experience, but I can almost guarantee that, if you try to be outgoing in a setting where you feel outcasted, it’s probably not going to pan out. Instead, empowerment coach Kenzie Bond recommends “starting out slowly with a few existing interests.” In other words, try opening yourself up in an environment you feel comfortable in, surrounded by topics and activities you enjoy.

“As an avid reader, I began attending book signings in my area a few years back, and it quickly turned into a full-time hobby — and I have met several famous authors along the way,” Bond tells me of her own experience. “For an introvert, it is the quality of the interactions that count, not quantity, and creating a social life on your terms — not what society deems normal — is the key to a more fulfilling 2019.”