How to be fit and sexy

Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?

Here are 10 tips to get you on your way:

Be a flirtatious woman. Men love when a woman is a good flirt — not cheesy, not sleazy, just fun. Learn how to “smeyes” — smile with your eyes. The guys love that and will love you.

Be sexy. Men love women who are sexy and who KNOW they are sexy. The word sexy has no real definition these days — the key ingredient is that you FEEL sexy and then he senses it and thinks you are H-O-T, hot.

Be feminine. Keep in mind that if a man wanted to be with a man, he would be. So be girly, be feminine, be a woman. What does that mean? Smell good, cook him a meal once in a while, mother him when he needs it — find the cavewoman in you.

Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.

Be confident. Men love ladies who have that “je ne sais quoi, that little intangible confidence that make them untouchable, yet so desirable all at once.

Be adaptable in any situation. Men want you to fit in at a fancy party, with beer and pizza on sports night and at a boring work function. And, he wants you to do it with ease and with no complaining. If you think that men fall in love with the “hard to get” women, think again. Not in today’s world. Today men really fall for easy-going gals who can go with the flow.

Be a woman who makes him feel great about himself and makes him feel needed. Men love the girls who play to their ego and make them feel like Superman. If a guy doesn’t understand how he is needed in your life, he won’t fall in love with you.

Be the woman who encourages a guy’s night out. A woman who, not only allow a guy’s night out, but also insists on it is a rockstar to any guy. The catch is that you have to really mean it. And if you do, he will be thinking about you the whole time he is out and won’t even notice the other girls around him.

Be a woman with interesting things going on. Men love a woman who has her own life with fun and different things happening. No man wants a girl who is always sitting at home waiting for him or a woman who needs him to provide 100 percent of the fun.

Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all. Men like women who have it together and who won’t embarrass them in a conversation; they like women who know something about a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be politics and sports, it just has to be something you are passionate about and truly understand. And they hate know-it-alls; drop that quality immediately.

If you want better sex, it’s time to learn some new bedroom tricks.

How to be fit and sexy

How to be fit and sexy

Hey, it’s okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever it takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner (or partners) during sex. No one has the time these days to waste, so we’ll make it easy for you. Want to know how to last longer in bed? We’ve got easy advice on how to tack on minutes. Looking to add some new moves to your routine? Try reverse cowgirl, rimming, or even tantric sex on for size. In this collection of the best sex positions and advice, you’ll find tips and tricks, ideas, and expert intel on pulling off better sex moves. Take notes and study hard; your new and improved sex life begins now.

How to be fit and sexy

1. Reverse Cowgirl Position

It’s very stimulating for her. Here’s how to do it.

How to be fit and sexy

2. Rimming

There’s quite a concentration of nerves back there, so give anilingus a shot.

3. Sexting

How to correctly use the horniest emoji: flag up mailbox.

4. Dick Pics

There are two types of dick pics every guy should be able to take.

How to be fit and sexy

5. Open Relationships

A beginner’s guide to being non-monogamous without being a jerk.

6. Sex Apps

Everything to know about sex and dating apps before jumping in bed with a stranger.

7. Kissing

There are four ways to do it well. Because you can’t skip this step.

8. DIY Sex Toys

Your house is full of things just waiting to become sex toys.

9. Sex Games

These are a whole lot sexier than “Truth or Dare.”

10. Condom Sizes

A brief guide to choosing the right one. Grab a toilet paper roll.

11. Dirty Talk

It’s not just what you say, it’s how (and when) you say it.

12. Lasting Longer

A four-step guide to maintaining control during sex.

13. Breathing for Better Sex

Get over nerves and fear so you can both enjoy the experience even more.

14. A Workout Plan for Better Sex

If you feel strong and flexible, it will show in the bedroom.

15. Sex Toys for Men

Enhance your pleasure with these devices, for yourself, or for you and your partner.

16. What Women Want

Remember these eleven things that she expects from you.

17. Average Sex Time

It’s not as long as you’d think, according to science.

18. Tantric Sex

You could have four or five orgasms. She could have twelve.

19. Tea Bagging

Tea bagging is a sexual kink, and a darn good one at that.

20. Shower Sex

How to have it without slipping and fumbling all over the place.

21. Oral Sex

Tips for giving and receiving it correctly.

22. Foreplay

Keep things interesting by spicing up your pre-sex practices.

23. G-Spot Stimulation

How to find her G-spot, and her cul-de-sac.

24. Couples Porn

You and your partner should be watching porn together. It doesn’t have to be weird.

25. Best and Worst Kinds of Sex

From breakup sex to mile high sex, here’s the rundown on all the ways to do it.

26. Healthy Sex

In case you needed more convincing, there are nine reasons having sex is good for you.

Get in shape without leaving the house

You want to get fit. But you don’t want to join a health club — it’s too expensive, there’s no gym convenient to you, or maybe you’re just the independent type. Or perhaps you’re already a gym member, but your schedule has been too manic for you to get away.

That leaves working out at home. But can you really get a great workout without leaving the house?

Absolutely, says Kevin Steele, PhD, exercise physiologist and vice president of 24 Hour Fitness Centers.

“In today’s world, the reality of it is people don’t have time to go to a facility every day anyway,” he says. “And consistency is key.”

Believe it or not, Steele says, at 24 Hour Fitness, they encourage folks to exercise at home as much as at the gym. This way, they are more apt to adopt fitness as a lifestyle. “The key thing is that you do something, somewhere, sometime,” he says.

Steele and other fitness experts say it doesn’t take much effort or money to design an effective workout program at home. Things like fit balls, dumbbells, exercise bands or tubing, and push-up bars are an inexpensive way to create a routine that works all the major muscle groups.

But even with no props or machines, you can build muscles and burn calories.

“If someone wants to get started, they could take a brisk walk, then do abdominal exercises and push-ups,” says Richard Weil, MEd, CDE an exercise physiologist and WebMD Weight Loss clinic consultant.

The 5 Elements of Fitness

According to Steele, an effective fitness program has five components, all of which you can do at home:

  • A warmup.
  • A cardiovascular (aerobic) workout.
  • Resistance (strength-building) exercises.
  • Flexibility moves.
  • A cooldown

A warm-up could be an easy walk outside or on a treadmill, or a slow pace on a stationary bike. For the cardiovascular portion, walk or pedal faster, do step aerobics with a video, or jump rope — whatever you enjoy that gets your heart rate up.

The resistance portion can be as simple as squats, push-ups and abdominal crunches. Or you could work with small dumbbells, a weight bar, bands or tubing.

Continued

Increase your flexibility with floor stretches or yoga poses. And your cooldown should be similar to the warm up, says Steele — “cardiovascular work at a low level to bring the heart rate down to a resting state.”

You can do strength work in same workout as your aerobic work, or split them up. Just be sure to warm up and cool down every time you exercise.

If you’re short on time one day, increase the intensity of your workout, says Tony Swain, MS, fitness director of East Bank Club in Chicago. Instead of your usual 45-minute ride on the stationary bike, choose a harder program for 25 minutes and really push yourself. Choose the hilly walk in your neighborhood, or jog instead of walking.

You can step up the pace of your strength workout by doing compound exercises — those that work more than one muscle group at a time.

For example, doing squats (with or without weights) works the quadriceps, hamstrings, gluteus, and calves. Push-ups involve the pectorals, deltoids, biceps, triceps — even the abdominals and the upper back.

If you’re not the create-your-own workout type, there are fitness videos galore — offering everything from kickboxing to belly dancing to Pilates. You can find them at local bookstores and discount stores, or on the Web. Just be sure to choose one that’s appropriate for your fitness level.

Getting Started

If you’re a beginner, aim for 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise at least three times a week, and 20 to 30 minutes of strength work three times a week. Be sure your strength workout covers all major muscle groups, in your upper body, lower body, abdominals and back. Shoot for three sets of 10-15 repetitions of each strength exercise.

No matter what type of exercise you do, be sure to start slowly and gradually increase your workout time and intensity. And don’t forget to listen to your body, says Weil.

“Focus on the muscles that you think you should be working,” he says. “See if you feel it there. If you’re working your abs and you feel it in your neck, then it’s not right. Close your eyes and start to tune in to your body.”

Continued

It’s also important to stay tuned in to what motivates you.

Working out at home has obvious advantages. But there are obstacles, too: distractions from the phone, the kids, the dog, the Internet and the refrigerator can derail a workout. And that’s if you can get started in the first place. When you’re at home, it’s easy to find something else that needs to be done.

A good way to stay motivated and avoid distractions, the experts say, is to exercise early in the day. Morning exercisers are more likely to stick with their workouts, according to American Council on Exercise spokesperson Kelli Calabrese, MS, ACE, CSCS.

“Get (the workout) over with first thing in the morning, then get on with your day,” says Weil.

Tips for home exercisers

The experts offer some other tips for home exercisers:

  • Challenge yourself and avoid boredom. At home, you won’t have the variety of equipment and classes that are available at a gym. So surf the Internet and browse fitness magazines to check out new workouts and make sure you’re exercising correctly. “Pictures are everything. Use them as a guide for form and technique,” Swain says.
  • Find an exercise partner. You’ll be less likely to find excuses when you’ve arranged to work out with a friend.
  • Schedule your workouts. “Have a plan,” says Calabrese. “Look at a planner and write out your exercise appointments one month in advance. If something comes up and you have to change one, reschedule it immediately.”
  • Use a journal to track your progress and jot down any breakthroughs you may have. When you have a bad day, write that down, too, to help you to find patterns you can break. For example, you may find an egg-white omelet gets you through your morning workout better than a bagel.
  • Set goals, like training for a race or losing 20 pounds. “A goals should be something you can’t do right now, but you know is within your reach,” Calabrese says. Give yourself mini-rewards along the way: a new fitness magazine, those workout tights you’ve been eyeing, or a new pair of sneakers.
  • Perhaps most important, make exercise as integral to your life as sleeping and eating, says Swain. “You have to think of it as a lifestyle change. It doesn’t end. Get out of the mind frame that exercise is something you’re only going to do for a period of time.”

Originally published Dec. 19, 2003
Medically updated Dec. 14, 2005.

Sources

SOURCES: Kevin Steele, PhD, exercise physiologist; vice president, 24 Hour Fitness Centers, San Ramon, Calif. Richard Weil, MEd, CDE, exercise physiologist; consultant, WebMD Weight Loss Clinic. Kelli Calabrese, MS, ACE, CSCS, spokesperson, American Council on Exercise. Tony Swain, MS, director of fitness, East Bank Club, Chicago.

Photos: David Cook (2), Getty Images, Roger Cabello, Getty Images, Roger Cabello, Franz Walderdorff

How to be fit and sexy

Wear Red.

Yes, it’s that simple. A bit of crimson has the power to put men in a lusty state of mind—one study even found they were 56 percent more likely to ask out a woman in a red top versus a white one. That’s because men are hardwired to respond to the hue: The color was used as early as 10,000 B.C. in lip color and blush to mimic the red flush we get when we’re turned on. Throw on a red dress and let primal instincts take over.

Smile

It’s no surprise that anyone would be drawn to a megawatt grin, but what is fascinating is that a smile amps up how sexy you seem, according to a recent study. “A friendly and approachable woman may seem more sexually interested,” researchers at the University of British Columbia told Allure. We can’t vouch for the science on this part, but a little whitening could be nice, too. We like Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips, which brighten teeth in two hours.

. Except on Your Lips

One study found that the lipstick shades men find most attractive are neutrals or soft pinks. Steer clear of anything Nicki Minaj–inspired and take cues from your natural color, picking something a few shades pinker. Women with fair skin look best in sheer rose (like L’Oréal Paris Infallible Le Rouge lipstick in Eternal Rose). Medium-toned skin pairs well with pinks with brown undertones; sheer formulas (like Clinique Chubby Stick Moisturizing Balm in Bountiful Blush) are extra flattering and hard to overdo. If you have a dark complexion, look for wine-y pinks—one supershiny formula is Lipstick Queen Jean Queen Lip Gloss.

Choose the Right Perfume

We asked perfumers for the sexiest notes, and they all came back with the same answer: lush flowers, vanilla and amber, and powdery notes. One of our favorite seductive scents is Chanel No. 19 Poudre: French for “powder,” this scent’s fresh iris root tempers the heady jasmine. Dolce & Gabbana Velvet Sublime, with zesty orange blossom and intoxicating neroli, is warm, like a beach vacation in a bottle. Tom Ford Jasmin Rouge isn’t for the faint of heart, or head. Ford tossed in the whole spice cabinet—cardamom, cinnamon, and ginger are sweetened by vanilla and warm amber.

Dim the Lights

It goes without saying that candlelight is sexy (there’s a reason most Instagram filters wash everyone in a hazy glow), and the best way to flatter exposed skin is with a shimmery body cream. Dust Urban Decay’s Honey Body Powder over your shoulders and décolletage, where light will naturally enhance it. We love it because it’s a superfine, subtle, somehow grown-up shimmer, and—wait for it—it’s lickable. Just saying.

Add Mega Shine to Your Hair

Practically nothing about Victoria’s Secret models is attainable—except possibly their shiny, soft hair. To achieve Angel-worthy gloss, try these shine-boosting techniques: Condition first, shampoo second. “For hair to be full and bouncy, it has to be free of residue,” says hairstylist Nathaniel Hawkins. Then rough-dry hair by raking your fingers through it; if you want sexy volume, you have to embrace a little fluff. And when you think your hair’s dry, blast it with heat for another three minutes. “It has to be 100 percent dry, otherwise it will collapse,” says Hawkins. Mist a shine spray like Umberto Beverly Hills Shimmer Shine Spray over the whole head and voilá—you’re halfway to Gisele.

If you want better sex, it’s time to learn some new bedroom tricks.

How to be fit and sexy

How to be fit and sexy

Hey, it’s okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever it takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner (or partners) during sex. No one has the time these days to waste, so we’ll make it easy for you. Want to know how to last longer in bed? We’ve got easy advice on how to tack on minutes. Looking to add some new moves to your routine? Try reverse cowgirl, rimming, or even tantric sex on for size. In this collection of the best sex positions and advice, you’ll find tips and tricks, ideas, and expert intel on pulling off better sex moves. Take notes and study hard; your new and improved sex life begins now.

How to be fit and sexy

1. Reverse Cowgirl Position

It’s very stimulating for her. Here’s how to do it.

How to be fit and sexy

2. Rimming

There’s quite a concentration of nerves back there, so give anilingus a shot.

3. Sexting

How to correctly use the horniest emoji: flag up mailbox.

4. Dick Pics

There are two types of dick pics every guy should be able to take.

How to be fit and sexy

5. Open Relationships

A beginner’s guide to being non-monogamous without being a jerk.

6. Sex Apps

Everything to know about sex and dating apps before jumping in bed with a stranger.

7. Kissing

There are four ways to do it well. Because you can’t skip this step.

8. DIY Sex Toys

Your house is full of things just waiting to become sex toys.

9. Sex Games

These are a whole lot sexier than “Truth or Dare.”

10. Condom Sizes

A brief guide to choosing the right one. Grab a toilet paper roll.

11. Dirty Talk

It’s not just what you say, it’s how (and when) you say it.

12. Lasting Longer

A four-step guide to maintaining control during sex.

13. Breathing for Better Sex

Get over nerves and fear so you can both enjoy the experience even more.

14. A Workout Plan for Better Sex

If you feel strong and flexible, it will show in the bedroom.

15. Sex Toys for Men

Enhance your pleasure with these devices, for yourself, or for you and your partner.

16. What Women Want

Remember these eleven things that she expects from you.

17. Average Sex Time

It’s not as long as you’d think, according to science.

18. Tantric Sex

You could have four or five orgasms. She could have twelve.

19. Tea Bagging

Tea bagging is a sexual kink, and a darn good one at that.

20. Shower Sex

How to have it without slipping and fumbling all over the place.

21. Oral Sex

Tips for giving and receiving it correctly.

22. Foreplay

Keep things interesting by spicing up your pre-sex practices.

23. G-Spot Stimulation

How to find her G-spot, and her cul-de-sac.

24. Couples Porn

You and your partner should be watching porn together. It doesn’t have to be weird.

25. Best and Worst Kinds of Sex

From breakup sex to mile high sex, here’s the rundown on all the ways to do it.

26. Healthy Sex

In case you needed more convincing, there are nine reasons having sex is good for you.

Copy and paste, baby.

How to be fit and sexy

Sexting is, no doubt, an art of the 21st century.

Not only is it a spicy way to connect on another level with your partner, but it also boosts trust, says psychotherapist and sex therapist Pia Holec, PsyD . “We’re communicating about what we want to do to one another,” she says.

But if you’ve ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing or feel like you need to be a sex goddess to even partake, you may have thrown out the idea with your old flip phone.

“There’s a fear sexting will be awkward, or you’ll have to create a certain environment you’re not used to,” Holec says. “That builds to an, ‘Oh my gosh, what am I going to sound like?’” Nope, there’s no need to think up some X-rated smut if that’s not your thing. Instead, use language you already use to flirt and tease your partner. If you’re struggling with a prompt, Holec suggests drawing from past memories or where you like to be touched (by yourself or a partner), and setting the mood from there.

Remember: “Sexting is all the things,” sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW says. Think pictures (sans face JIC), porn clips, voice notes, erotica, etc. Or, you can give your partner positive affirmations or talk about a new toy you’re about to take for a spin.

But, before you hit send on a steamy sext, ask your partner if this is even a thing they want to do, Howard says. Outline your boundaries. Maybe photos are cool, but texts about group sex aren’t. And if the conversation feels uncomfy at any time, an established safe word (like the one you use in the bedroom) can come in handy here too, Holec says.

Sometimes sexting is more about creating and teasing a fantasy rather than an orgasm, sexpert and Sweet Vibes spokesperson Tyomi Morgan says. And while it can be super hot to put those sexts into action the next time you see your partner, Howard says you can sext just to enjoy the eroticism, too.

Whether you’re a newbie who wants to learn how to sext your partner or a seasoned pro who wants to surprise your special someone with some new

, these expert-recommended sexts will help you nail the digital dirty talk your way.

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before – listen up. Men aren’t as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he’s been with before you. The thing is that you don’t have to be the best in the world, you just have to better than other women he comes across with. And that’s not that hard, considering that the average woman is clueless when it comes to satisfying a guy completely.

I won’t tell you what you would like to hear, I’ll tell you what actually works, in real life. If you to hear fairy tales, you are free to leave, if you want results, read on.

1. Learn how to give proper blow jobs. Really, this is an almost mandatory skill that you have to master. If he ever got better oral from a woman before you, he’ll expect at least the same quality for you. Men rarely go backwards sexually and if he got amazing oral before, he’ll wish to continue getting it from you as well. Learn the art of oral sex and you’ll immediately be among the top 10% of women that know how to satisfy a man completely. A woman that’s great in bed but has no idea how to give proper oral is just considered as incomplete. It’s worth learning it.

2. Do what other women will not. That’s the second step. To truly satisfy your guy you have to be ready to do what other women find “disgusting” or “yukee”. Show total devotion. If you really like this guy there is nothing that can disgust you about him. Swallowing shouldn’t even be a question. Do all the kinky stuff you can imagine and let go sexually. If you are constantly thinking whether doing “this” or “that” will make him think that you are S-word (you know what), you’ll never end up being the best he could have. Let go and be free, have fun with him and make his satisfaction your satisfaction. Deny nothing. If he wants anal, do it, try it. Be open for new things.

3. Show total devotion by being more submissive. It is natural that men want to dominate in bed, so let him do it. Most men feel more manly if they can take control and have sex with you all around the house, take control over you and dominate you. Let him do this, be his “slave” and submit to him sexually, let him do ( and enjoy it ) anything he wants to do with you in bed. Be flexible and open about new things. Be open for learning new things and experimenting, but don’t force things, make things fun instead of forced.

4. Start talking dirty, or dirtier. The right words can be like magic. If you know what to say, when to say it and most importantly How to say it, your man will explode from pleasure instantly. Learn what makes him go nuts and tell the right things at the right moments. Nothing is more boring that a woman that makes no sound in bed and when we have to wonder whether she’s dead or not.

Be active in bed, flexible, let him move you around. Also – if you say the wrong things and are afraid you might sound stupid, you probably will end up sounding stupid. Be confident. If you believe in what you say, anything you say will sound good. That’s why it’s more important how you say it than what you say exactly. Talk dirty to him and Be “dirtier” in every way possible. Be his personal Porn Star and he’ll love you for it.

5. Surprise him when he least expects it. There’s nothing worse than monotony in bed. That’s why you should have sex Outside of the bedroom, as often as possible. Make it memorable. Give him head in the car. Wake him up with a blow job. Have sex in a public toilet, or in his office. When he comes home, “attack” him the moment he comes in the house. Kill the routine. There’s nothing nicer than being wanted. Be sexy for him and initiate things. You should never be asked to go down on him, instead do it yourself and do it for your own pleasure, not his.

6. Work out regularly. Yes, you should take care of your looks as much as possible. Work out regularly, smell good and be as tight as possible. If you are light and easy for him to carry around in bed your sex life will be much more satisfying. This is the cold hard truth. And don’t do this because of him, do it because of yourself. You’ll feel a lot sexier in your own body and you’ll be more self confident.

If you feel sexier in your body you’ll attract him 10 times more sexually. Be fit, eat good food and take care of yourself. Silky, soft skin and a tight body, where you smell amazing will make every guy go mental just when he looks at you. Make this a lifestyle decision (staying fit) and do it together with him. You’ll see how this can transform your sex life completely and you’ll please him much more like this.

7. Role play. Role playing can be great and it will make your sex life a lot more fun. You should role play all the time, but do it sometimes to spice things up. Role playing is great as it gives you freedom to experiment and be somebody else, discover each others fantasies and fulfill them at least in an imaginary way. It’s better if he does it with you, than with somebody else:) Except if his fantasy is having you and your best girlfriend together in a threesome. Well – a girlfriend that really loves him would even do that just to satisfy him.

The good thing is that you already have the right mindset for being a “perfect girlfriend” (or wife) and that’s your willingness to satisfy him. That’s a great quality and it will get you far, as everything you give, comes back, eventually. So give, give and give some more and you’ll see your relationship transform (and your sex life). Start applying some of these essential tips and you’ll go far. Most importantly: have fun!

You can learn How to Give a Blowjob from Jack’s website –> here . Jack is an insane blow job instructor that dedicated his life to a very very important mission – teaching women How to Satisfy a Man with oral sex, and therefore keep him and seduce him forever.

Here’s why the hardware might be incompatible.

Considering that the vagina is designed to stretch so much that another human can pass through it, you’d think it could easily fit any size erect penis. At rest, the vaginal canal measures 3.7 inches long, on average. But when you’re sexually aroused, it elongates, lubricates, and expands—so even sex with an XL guy is slippery and comfy.

But as it turns out, sometimes a penis can be too big to fit inside a vagina.

“It’s a very rare situation, [but] there are some men that are so endowed it makes certain positions difficult or painful,” Christine Greves, ob-gyn at the center for obstetrics and gynecology at Orlando Health, tells Health. The average erect penis comes in at 5.1 inches, but even a man who is a couple of inches larger can be hard to, well, accommodate. (For the record, the largest erect penis clocks in at more than 13 inches. yikes.)

Another penis-vagina fit issue has to do with a woman’s age. In your 20s, 30s, and 40s, your estrogen levels are naturally high, which keeps vaginal tissue supple. That makes the vagina pretty expandable and less sensitive, says Dr. Greves.

But once you hit menopause, your body’s estrogen output takes a dive. With less natural lubrication, an average or larger penis might have a tough time time fitting in without causing pain and friction for both the man and the woman.

It’s also possible that just as some penises are on the small side, some vaginas might be, too. An exceptionally large penis, then, would be a mismatch for a small vagina. “Some vaginas are larger than others. so I would think it’s based on an individual basis,” said Dr. Greves.

Okay, what are you supposed to if your v isn’t comfortably accommodating his p? Extra foreplay can help; the more aroused you are, the more lubrication your body can produce, which can make things slippery and stretchy. Store-bought lube is also a good idea.

Stick to sex positions that put you in control, like woman on top or reverse cowgirl. When you’re in charge of the depth and speed, he won’t be able to go so deep or thrust so fast that it doesn’t feel good. Positions that keep your legs wide can also help, since that can elongate the vagina.

If the problem stems from menopause, “what I recommend for my post-estrogen women is an estrogen cream and a vaginal dilator. Try to get a dilator similar to the size of the man. And with lubrication, you could see if that could accommodate [the penis],” Dr. Greves says. If you’ve tried several tactics but nothing seems to work, it can’t hurt to check in with your ob-gyn, she advises.

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