How to be yourself

How to be yourself

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.”

I’ve heard the statement “just be yourself” so much. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that. What I’ve wondered, though, is what in the world does that mean?

What if someone is a jerk to other people? Is it okay for them to just be themselves and go on being a jerk to everyone? How about people who are fearful of being around others and live a hermit-like life, avoiding people?

In my quest for answers I’ve found that it is very much possible to just be yourself. The person who is a jerk to others and the person who is afraid of social situations are, in actuality, not being themselves. Their real self is just being covered up with conditioned, fear-based thinking.

Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness.

It is who we really are when we let fall to the floor the cloak of other people’s stuff that we have taken on.

Everything else that we claim to be when we say, “This is who I am!” is only a story.

Below are some steps that have helped me in uncovering my real nature, which is that being outside of the accumulated thoughts and beliefs that I have collected over a lifetime.

1. Get in touch with your inner child.

If you ever watch small children, you will notice just how free they are and how little they care about what other people think of them. They are happy and in the moment.

They are their true natures. They have not yet been socialized to “fit in” to a society that squashes that. They don’t care if people think that they are silly while they dance in the front yard for all of the neighbors to see.

Children are just pure love and light. If you really want to get in touch with your inner child, become freer. Play, have fun, enjoy the moment, do cartwheels in the front yard.

My son has taught me this more than anything. He has helped me to see just how stiff and serious I can be. Thanks to him, I have tapped back into something that was forgotten.

We play roles to fit into society and we suppress our true nature out of fear of what others think. If you find yourself worrying about being judged, remember that is merely just the socialized you, not the real you.

2. Become more aware of your thoughts.

You may be shocked by the number of negative thoughts that run through your mind on any given day. After so long, our reality begins to take shape based on all of these conditioned thinking patterns.

Become more aware of the quality of your thinking. Allow yourself to sit quietly every morning before starting your day for just five to ten minutes.

Yes, thoughts will come and go, but just allow them to do that without getting attached to them. Just observe them. When you are finished, continue observing the mind throughout your day.

We have so many unconscious beliefs that we have taken on over the years that were probably handed down to us from somebody else, and that we believed to be who we are. Becoming more aware of the quality of your thoughts, letting go of the old beliefs, and becoming more present can help in revealing your true nature.

We are all so much more than those old negative thinking patterns would ever allow us to believe.

3. Follow your intuition.

This is probably one of the most important factors in being yourself. I ignored my intuition for the longest time because I felt so obligated to others. Their happiness was more important than my own.

I lived at home until I was twenty-five, ignored my urges to move to a new city, and stayed in unfulfilling jobs because I was so afraid of what other people would think of me, of failing, and of stepping out of my comfort zone. Because of this, I was incredibly unhappy.

I will tell you this, from my own personal experience: When you start following the little nudges and urges that you get, you will have hopped onto the magic carpet ride of awesomeness.

It doesn’t mean that you will never have bumps in the road again, but when you are in alignment with your soul, you will always be steered in the best possible direction.

For me, it started when I followed my intuition out of a job where I was miserable, which was way out of character for me. I had nothing lined up, but thanks to my intuition, I landed back on my feet within a few months in an awesome new job.

Now, before you go quit your job, you can begin with small things, such as following through when you feel the urge to make a phone call, send an email, or take a different route to work. When you get into the habit of doing this with small things, it will make it easier to say yes to the big things, and to trust.

How do any of these things help you to just be yourself? Because they help you to be in alignment with your true nature.

Your authentic self is the real you that is beyond all of those conditioned beliefs and thinking patterns that you have accumulated throughout your life.

I was once a shy, reclusive, depressed, angry person—but I wasn’t “being myself.” While it is important to love and accept ourselves for where we are at the moment, looking back now, I see that I suppressed my true nature in order to please others and to fit in.

I began going within and doing spiritual study and practice in my late twenties, and have since become more aware of how much I was identified with my victim story, how I would play roles depending on who I was with, and just how much I cared about other people’s perceptions of me.

I had lost touch with my natural self and stuffed it away in a box. Whenever I would notice myself getting attached to the stories and labels in my head or would catch myself playing roles with others, I would just breathe and relax into the moment without any labels or judgments.

It was a challenge because I cared so much about being accepted by others. So I would ask myself, “How would I act right now if I had no cares of what others thought of me?” I realized that who I naturally am without anything else added is perfectly okay.

When you let go of the old ways of thinking, follow your bliss, and do what you love, you begin to align with happiness and peace. These are all indicators that you are connected with your true nature. You are then allowing your real self to shine forth in all its glory.


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How to be yourself

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How to be yourself

It’s a good idea to be yourself, not only because everybody else is taken, but because trying to be anything else doesn’t usually get you very far.

But how do you do it?

First, you have to understand what you have unlearned about yourself. This process can be disheartening, as you remember past decisions where you had the chance to be yourself but instead chose to be something different.

Since trying to be anyone other than yourself is usually ineffective, why not begin by deciding to do only what is true to your own inner compass? If you did it for just one day, what would that day look like?

There are a few schools of thought that say you are incapable of making good decisions on your own; that you are inherently evil and must continuously struggle against your true nature. You are destined to lose without some kind of intervention.

But what if your true nature were good? Sure, you’ve screwed up with the best of them, but that doesn’t mean you are destined to make bad decisions. Aren’t you capable of being true to what you believe in? Aren’t you capable of being a good self?

We all know at least one bitter, negative person. My theory is that most bitter people are not being true to themselves. My guess is that somewhere along the way, they took a wrong turn they’ve always regretted, and they take out their disappointment on others. You know how there’s always ONE GUY who tells you you’re stupid for not knowing how to do something? To be yourself, you have to be able to ignore that guy.

The last thing you want is to be bitter, but the second-last thing you want is regret. To avoid regret, you have to make active decisions. I think moving forward is better than remaining stationary. And I also think you have to show people you care about them—merely thinking nice things doesn’t help anyone.

Being yourself is risky. Something could go wrong, and then whose fault would it be? (This is another reason why it can be easier to let other people make your decisions—then you can blame them when it doesn’t work out.)

But in the long-run, you know you’re capable of being a good self. You know you’re capable of taking the risk. Even if some people don’t understand, you can find a way to pursue the life and work you’ve always wanted.

And you can be yourself, whoever you are, today.

How to be yourself

Knowing how to be yourself in social interactions is essential for building a rich social life and rewarding relationships with others.

And like many other people out there, you may need to learn, or better said, re-learn how to be yourself.

Well, I’m gonna guide you on this path towards confident and authentic self-expression.

The Journey of Learning How to Be Yourself

A friend of mine once went to a therapist and told him he wants to be himself more. The therapist asked him: Well, who else do you think you are?

It’s a thought-provoking question. As a social confidence coach, I think for many people, the answer is that while they are themselves most of the time, during lots of social interactions, they put up a front.

They don’t reveal themselves authentically and instead they create this fake social person which they show to others. This persona typically tries to embody all the qualities that others will like and approve of: niceness, chivalry, humor, competence, confidence, a good mood and so on.

Usually this tendency to hide the authentic self is grounded in some kind of insecurity, perhaps an inferiority complex or a negative self-image.

Essentially, learning how to be yourself is the process of dropping this fake persona, replacing it with your genuine person, and becoming comfortable with expressing it.

Now, I’m going to teach you a 3-step process for being yourself, which has been used successfully by my coaching clients.

If you want a more thorough understanding of this process, check out this free video guide.

1. Get In Touch With Yourself

I find that many persons have lost touch with their authentic self. They’ve gotten so used to putting up a fake self in social interactions that they don’t really know who they are anymore.

They don’t know what they truly like and dislike anymore, what they want, or what their real opinions are. Sometimes, they feel seriously alienated from themselves, which can be a source of anxiety or depression.

So the first key step in learning how to be yourself is to get in touch with yourself; with your passions, values, opinions and natural inclinations. The main way to do this is through personal reflection.

Ask yourself questions designed to reveal to you your real self. For instance ask yourself:

  • What movies do I really like?
  • What are my opinions about the current economy?
  • What subjects do I enjoy to talk about?
  • What values do I treasure the most?

Take some time to really think about these things. The better you know your true self, the more you can bring it out in social interactions. This leads me to the second step.

2. Make Small Steps Forward Towards Authenticity

The big practical issue regarding how to be yourself is that most people try to do it all at once. They wanna completely drop their mask all of sudden and be totally authentic with others.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. You need to identify the specific ways in which you are inauthentic in social interactions and then correct them one by one.

You need to gradually get out of your shell and become more authentic. And you do this by setting small change goals for yourself and working on achieving them.

In time, these small goals add up and soon enough, you find yourself behaving in a radically new way when dealing with others.

In fact, many people may actually say to you: “Wow, you’ve changed!” Becoming more authentic leaves external clues, and this is definitely one of them.

3. Calm Yourself Down

The vast majority of people who have a hard time being themselves feel somewhat anxious or tense when interacting with others. And when they even think about being real in a context, their anxiety shoots up.

The trick here is to calm yourself down and assure yourself that it’s OK to be yourself. Nobody else is going to do it for you, or at least not forever.

You do this through your self-talk. The fundamental skill to master is talking to yourself, in your inner dialog, in a manner that’s constructive and reassuring.

For example, when you feel anxious and the need to hide your true self, you can say to yourself something like: “Is perfectly fine to be myself. This person will probably like me as I am, and if they don’t, that’s their problem.”

This kind comforting self-talk will make the anxiety slowly dissipate and make it easier for you to be yourself during a social interaction with somebody.

You can find out more details about changing your self-talk and enhancing your confidence in my free conversation confidence guide. Make sure to check it out.

As you implement these three steps, you’ll create a positive shift in your self-image and you’ll become a lot more confident in social settings.

How to be yourself is something that’s absolutely learnable. The important thing is to take the right steps, to execute them effectively and to be committed.

I’ve seen numerous persons dramatically boost their social confidence and become truly genuine when dealing with others. If they can do it, so can you.

How to be yourself

Mar 29, 2018 · 3 min read

I have a friend who wants to go out to the clubs and pesters me often about going with him. He’s at a place in his life where those things are attractive to him since he recently got divorced. But that isn’t me. It’s not who I am.

If I was 20 years younger, then I might go. But I do n ’t like to do those things now, so I say no every time. I have no problem going for a beer occasionally, hanging out together at one another’s house or going for a run, but the clubs are not me.

So if I gave in, I wouldn’t be doing myself any favors. I would be miserable the whole time and ready to go home as soon as I got there. If I gave in, I wouldn’t be myself. I would cater to his needs, not mine.

I’ve struggled most of my life with trying to be who I wanted and I’ve always tried to please others or not do anything to be judged harshly. And most of the time I would end up giving in.

I also followed society’s expectations and lived life like everyone else. But doing that made me unhappy and I realized I’ve been living a life not true to myself. And it’s taken me four and a half decades to finally realize it. I’m hoping you will realize it sooner than I have.

But I have decided I can no longer NOT be myself. Because I’ve never been happy living how others wanted me to.

How to be yourself

All of us have looked at others and wished we could be like them. We wished we could have what they have.

But you can’t be someone else. You are you. You are unique and have your own talents and experiences. You can use those talents and experiences to get what you want, but you shouldn’t sacrifice yourself to do so.

Many of us also act like someone we are not. Whether you did it to impress a love interest, your boss, or someone else, we have all not been ourselves because we believed it would get us what we wanted.

But when you are not yourself, you change. You change who you are and what you are about. You change your thoughts and beliefs and you become someone who tries to please others instead of pleasing yourself. You become someone else instead of being yourself.

Being yourself does not mean you are selfish and it doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. Being yourself means you like who you are. Being yourself means living life how you want to live it, regardless of other people’s opinions. And it means you respect yourself.

Don’t worry about what others think. You can’t control them or their thoughts .

If you like who you are, then that is all that matters. Don’t allow others to change who you are. You are being judged regardless of what you do, so being yourself makes happiness easier to obtain.

Live life on your terms, not someone else’s.

Being yourself is important because you will not be happy otherwise. Empower and love yourself.

Unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not being yourself?

Like you’re hiding who you are?

Rarely, sometimes, or all the time?

Lately, I’ve had a large number of clients coming to me with exactly this frustration. Great people with big hearts, plans, and desires to do what they love, be who they are, and sick of pretending to be someone else just to not rock the boat. This topic is also very personal for me as I used to struggle with exactly this in my early 20s. It took some work and courage, but it was one of the best changes I’ve ever made.

Let me clarify what “being yourself” actually is and isn’t. Being yourself doesn’t mean being the same person all the time. You may be one way with you parents, another way with your friends, and a certain way with your boss. That’s fine. We adjust our behaviour depending on the context. That’s social intelligence.

I’m talking about you being YOU, open about your opinions, thoughts, feelings, ideas, sexuality, without pretending or having a mask on. Just feeling like you’re authentic, free.

Being yourself can be tricky and sometimes scary for us because we fear that others may not like or approve of us, or may criticise us for it. And we all want to be liked and accepted, so sometimes we just hide who we are.

But being fake comes at a price. And the longer you do it, the higher the price you pay. Being fake costs you your self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love. You might conjure up a false persona that looks all nice and shiny on the surface, but underneath, there’ll always be fear, anxiety, doubt, and even self-hatred. And in the end, you may fool others, but you cannot fool yourself.

To make it easier for you to be yourself, you need to change the way you see yourself, the way you see others, and the world you live in.

Below are thoughts (some of them quite deep) that I’d like you to ponder. Read them slowly and let it sink in.

1. Are you wrong?

When you’re pretending to be someone else or you hide who you really are, its worst impact is that it fundamentally makes you feel that who you are is wrong. You need to ask yourself: “Is who I am wrong?” Does it make you wrong if someone else might not approve of what you stand for or believe in, like and love?

2. Is it even real?

Ask yourself whether what you’re afraid of – the things others would say or do – is even likely to happen. Most of the time this whole drama happens just in our own head and is far from reality. You’re not a mind-reader or a fortune teller. The best way to do this reality check is to either speak to someone you trust about it or to write it down on a piece of paper. Once it’s out of your head, it usually sounds quite absurd.

3. Do they even care?

We are the centre of our own universe, and we often feel that we’re under a microscope, that other people keep a close eye on us. But the truth is, most people don’t really care that much about what you’re up to, mostly because they’re busy worrying what others think of them. People have opinions, but that doesn’t mean they’re right.

4. Who’s saying that?

Always ask yourself: “Whose opinions am I worried about? Who’s saying that? Do they have what I want? Do they actually understand?” If I had the idea to start a business, I wouldn’t expect the support of someone who’s never had a business or doesn’t understand it. On the other hand, I’d definitely want to know what Richard Branson would say. People love to have opinions, but that doesn’t mean they are right.

5. Stop criticising and judging yourself.

We naturally think that others think like we do. The less critical you are of others and yourself, the less critical you’ll expect others to be. When you catch yourself criticising or judging, ask yourself “Why do I care? Do I know why they do it? Do I understand them and their situation to be able to make a judgment? Is it possible that they have a good reason for it?”

6. What if it’s working?

One of the worst things about pretending you’re someone else or being fake is when someone actually falls for it. You got them hooked on something you’re not, and now they expect it, you have to keep playing that role. What if someone hires you, wants to do business with you, or falls in love with you for something you’re not? How does that feel?

7. It’s not working anyway

People pretend because they want to be respected, admired, like, loved, ideally by everyone. So whatever mask you wore (or are still wearing), if you think it’s working really well, believe me, it isn’t. I assure you that there were people who saw right through it, and also people who didn’t like that version of you. You see, you cannot win either way. There is no way of pleasing everyone. There will always be a percentage of people who disagree, don’t approve, or dislike you – no matter how many versions of yourself you show. If that’s the case, why not just be yourself? You’re already really natural and good at it.

As the saying goes, be yourself – everyone else is taken. Of course, this assumes that you already know who you are. If you read this thinking “But who am I, really?” then that’s a different question for a different article.

On Monday the 12th of June, I’ll be holding a free webinar on how to be yourself without guilt or fear. I’ll be going into much more depth, and sharing some great ideas and techniques that have helped my clients become their truest, most confident and happiest selves to date. If you’d like to register you can sign up below.

If you need a support of a life coach, you’re always welcome to contact me and let’s find out if we’d be the right match.

Authentic people know themselves. They are able to listen to their inner voice and they can understand the complexities of their feelings. To be authentic, we need to be able to face up to the truth about ourselves, no matter how unpleasant we might find it.

In contrast, people who are alienated from themselves fail to go with their intuitions, they get confused about their emotions and make poor decisions for themselves, instead doing what they think will please others.

How to be yourself

Look deeply within yourself, to uncover your barriers to authenticity and to begin to dismantle them.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple

How to be yourself

Jon was a client who was angry with his parents, dissatisfied with his marriage, unhappy at work and, after weeks of telling me about how other people were to blame for the misfortunes in his life, he turned to me and said:

I am so tired of this. It’s all bullshit isn’t it? What I’ve been saying. It’s me isn’t it? I need to step up and take some responsibility.

Everything began to change for Jon after that. He no longer saw himself as the powerless victim but as someone who could begin to shape his own life.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.

We are born to be ourselves. Authenticity is our natural state. However, balancing the process of realising one’s own needs while living together with others, and meeting the needs of those relationships, is not always straightforward.

How to be yourself

How to be yourself

How to be yourself

Stephen Joseph
Positive psychologist, coach, and senior practitioner member of the British Psychological Society’s register of psychologists specialising in psychotherapy

The hunger for authenticity guides us throughout our lives. People strive for joined-up living, where on the one hand what they say and do reflects what they think and feel, and on the other what they think and feel reflects who they are.

Stephen Joseph has pioneered developments in research into authenticity, drawing on the solid science of positive psychology to develop what has become one of the gold-standard tests for assessing authenticity. His and others’ findings reveal that when people are in relationships in which they feel accepted, understood and valued, they drop their defences. They naturally begin to examine themselves psychologically, accommodate new information and live more authentically. What’s more, the latest studies reveal that it is authenticity that leads to true happiness.

In Authentic, Stephen Joseph presents his fresh and inspiring perspective on the psychology of authenticity alongside practical advice and exercises for the reader. Drawing on the wisdom of existential philosophers, the insights and research of psychologists, and case studies from his own and others’ clinical experiences, he shows how authenticity is the foundation of human flourishing – as well as how the ideas relate to debates about the importance of happiness.

Last Updated On December 27, 2015 by amit

How to be yourself

One of the most common advise you will hear is “Be Yourself“. Its a good suggestion but practically not easy to implement.

Because we all have multiple personalities or faces. With our friends we are different, with our parents we behave differently and when we are alone then we are totally different person and so on. We cannot be same with everybody. Because society does not allow anybody to be himself or herself. Parents, teachers, friends, relatives all have different expectations from us and we change our self to please others. Thats the only way to survive in the society. Because society does not like rebels or individuals.

This ever changing behavior of ours represent our personality but not the individuality. The personality is shaped by the society, upbringing and our likes and dislikes. It is more of our mental and emotional set up. This personality will change from life to life as it is affected by the family, society or country you are born in and is thus not permanent.

On the other hand, Individuality is related to our intrinsic quality or something which is our real nature or the quality of the soul. It is unique to our soul. The individuality is related with our inner center that is soul. Whereas personality is related with the periphery that is our emotional and mental make up.

So in materialistic world when people say “be yourself” then they tell you to follow your personality. But in spiritual sense it means to “get centered from within” or to find your original nature or know yourself. So the same word “be yourself” has different meaning in materialistic and spiritual world.

So how to be yourself:

The easiest solution is to always listen to your inner voice. There is only one voice you should hear that is your inner voice or the voice of your soul or the gut feeling. As long as you are honest to your inner voice, you are on the right path and integrated within. But when you start listening to the multiple voices within the mind then the division inside you begins. The different voices in the mind will distract you from listening the voice of soul and will also drain you of energy and will make you confused.

Being Individual means there is no split personality inside you. You do what your inner voice tells you and you don’t do something simply because society expects you not to do it. As a spiritual seeker, you are only answerable to your inner voice and you don’t need to change your nature to please others. If someone wants to be your friend then he should accept you the way you are. So do things because you love doing it and not because everyone else is doing the same thing. Don’t be part of herd mentality. Individual person is one from within because he does not change himself to please others. He is not affected by the society likes and dislikes. He is true to his inner nature. Whereas thats not the case with the personality. Because it is big time shaped by the trends of fashion popular in the society. Your personality has no center of its own because it is affected by the society. Think about it?

When we follow our inner voice then there is no regret or guilt feeling or conflict inside us. Whereas, when we don’t listen to our inner voice and instead try to imitate any hero or cult figure then we lose touch with our source and we start developing a personality. Personality is a mask which we wear to please others, whereas individuality is your real face. We all are unique beings and have something special in us. Instead of imitating others, one should always strive to be himself and for that always listen to your inner voice. So that you can attain to your inner potential and be true to yourself.

Respect yourself whosoever you are. Never underestimate or insult yourself. Love yourself. Everyone is needed in this divine plan. Don’t compare yourself with others. Instead do things which brings harmony, stillness, peace, love, compassion, bliss and silence inside you and avoid doing things which bring discord, conflict, hatred, anger, jealousy, possessiveness inside you.

Always keep your heart clean from malice and mind free from thoughts. Be in touch with your inner voice and you are just yourself. You can be yourself only when you are in tune with your source and your inner voice comes from that source only. So pay attention to your inner voice, if you want to be yourself.

How to be yourself

Jobs At Pulte Mortgage

You put on that freshly-pressed outfit that you hardly ever wear, run through your answers to some commonly asked interview questions, and practice your friendly—yet professional—smile in the bathroom mirror. You have a job interview this afternoon, and you’re determined to knock it out of the park.


Preparing for an interview can often feel like getting ready for a theatre performance. It’s tempting to transform yourself into the person that you think the hiring manager wants you to be—whether that persona actually fits with yours or not.

Yes, you want the job—and ultimately there’s nothing wrong with adding a little polish in the attempt to impress the hiring manager. You should absolutely showcase your best self in a job interview. But, while it’s easy to think that best is the operative word in that sentence, you might want to place a little more emphasis on another: self.

Why Authenticity Matters

First things first, it’s important to recognize that “being yourself” doesn’t equate to showing up 10 minutes late and admitting that you didn’t have time to shower because you overslept. Remember, there’s a big difference between authentic and just plain unprofessional. But you shouldn’t feel overwhelming pressure to play a role.

There’s one big thing that both you and the employer are looking for during this process: a mutual fit. And, there’s no point in faking your way through a job interview only to land in a role that isn’t suited to your interests, skills, or passions. You’ll end up disappointed, and so will the company that hired you.

Being honest and letting snippets of your personality shine through—whether it’s a funny remark added to your “What’s your greatest strength” spiel or a genuine assessment of what you’re looking for in your next role—will allow both you and the employer to discern whether or not you’d make a decent match. Your authenticity will give you the opportunity to find a company and a position that falls in line with your values and goals, and vice versa.

Another reason that being up front is crucial? Put simply, the truth comes out eventually. So, if you paste on a smile and put on a show in the interest of just scoring an offer letter, you’re bound to be found out sooner rather than later.

How to Be Yourself in an Interview

You understand the importance of being yourself. But, you’re not quite sure where the line is—how personable can you be, without crossing over into unprofessional territory?

The first key is to avoid over-preparing. If you’re ready to go with dozens of canned responses in your head, you’ll run the risk of reciting them like a robot. While it’s a good idea to have a general idea of how you’d answer specific questions, there’s no need to memorize a script. Give yourself some flexibility so you can follow the flow of the conversation.

Secondly, when answering the hiring manager’s questions, work in personal anecdotes wherever possible. Whether you can mention a cause you volunteer for or even tie in a memory from your recent trip to Thailand, those little additions can reveal a lot about who you are and what you’re passionate about—without sounding like you’re blabbering about irrelevant personal factoids.

Finally, feel free to make small talk. Chat with the receptionist about the weather or strike up a friendly conversation with your interviewer while you stroll to the conference room. These sorts of pleasantries might seem insignificant, but they’re actually a great opportunity to establish rapport and loosen up a bit.

Plus, word spreads unbelievably fast in office environments. So, establishing a reputation as the candidate who held the elevator door and offered a friendly compliment will take you further than you might think.

Job interviews are nerve-wracking, and your uneasy feelings are usually enough to inspire you to take on a totally different identity—one that you’re confident will land you the job.

But, remember, holding back who you are or being dishonest about what you want out of your career won’t do you any favors in your job hunt.

So, take a deep breath and remind yourself that—as anxiety-inducing as it might seem—a job interview is really just a conversation. And, the most engaging and memorable conversations? They happen when you’re being yourself.