Being talkative is not bad, but you can be annoying sometimes and people might start disliking you because of this habit. So it is better to keep a balanced approach and talk only when necessary.
However, it is not easy to remain quiet for long, especially for the ones who always want to have their say in a discussion, no matter what the topic. This can eventually lead to something bad, like an end to a relationship or something.
Imagine a girl, who always wants to have a chat with her boyfriend, who is a busy person and does not like to be disturbed, especially when is working. Although there will be a little compromise in the start, but things will start getting difficult for both of them eventually and they will decide to part ways.
Similarly, if you are an employed person and like to have a chat with your colleagues regularly, you could end up in trouble. Your co-workers will not like to be disturbed all the times, so some of them might complain to the higher authorities. As a result, you will be at a risk of losing your job. Even if that is not the case, you will be in the bad books of the management.
Therefore, it is always nice to stay quiet and talk only when others want to listen something from you. This way, you will feel a lot better and people will respect you more. It will help you focus more on life and ignore other routine issues.
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It is necessary to relax your mind and body whenever you are trying to stay quiet. There is no need to feel any pressure and simply forget what you are doing for a few minutes. This will help you make a connection to your inner self rather than the outer world.
Listen to your favourite music
Plug in your earphones and start listening to a list of your favourite songs. This will make you feel a lot better and you will not be able to hear what others are discussing around you.
Practice being a good listener
Another thing is to practice being a good listener. Listen to the story of others and try not to interrupt them until they finish. If it is important, give your views otherwise it is better off staying quiet.
Talk to yourself
An effective way of staying quiet is by talking to yourself. Think of life and what you need to do and focus hard on things.
Oh honey, you shouldn’t try to be anything you’re not! There’s nothing wrong with being a loud and bubbly person. If that’s who you are, embrace it!
Some people are naturally quiet, introverted people – but not everyone is.
The thing is, if you try to act like someone you’re not, people will be able to tell. You don’t want people to think you’re pretending to be someone else.
It’s much easier to just act naturally, and you’ll also be a lot happier that way. It might take time, but learning to be happy how you are is far better than trying to act a certain way – no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be a quiet, reserved person if you’re not one naturally.
How Can I Be More Reserved And Quiet?
If you really want to act like a quiet and reserved person, all you really have to do is stop talking as much and start spending more time by yourself. I warn you, you’ll find it very miserable if that’s not something that you like doing already!
What Is The Difference Between Quiet People And Loud People?
Quiet people tend to be introverts, which means they find it easy to spend time alone. People who are naturally loud are usually extroverts – this means they need social interaction more than quiet people do. This isn’t something you can change, so you’ll only make yourself unhappy by trying.
Just be yourself – I’m sure there are plenty of reserved people who would like to be more like you!
Being talkative is good, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t listen to others. It is important to listen to the other; in many situations, you have to remain quiet for a long period of time. The communication does not only depend on the quality of the words; it requires the specific timing also.
The important thing is to determine the right time to speak and wait for it. Some people don’t speak even on the right; the reason for their silence is that they don’t want to hurt anyone or to create any unwanted situation.
In some situations, you must have to remain silent or learn to be silent to avoid any unfortunate situation.
Importance of silence:
Most people think that remaining silent will involve them in conflicts, but in reality, it is the opposite. Silence is much better than communication in many situations. Silence is a very effective tool for communication.
According to the statistics, about 93 percent of communication is non-verbal. Even in relationships, the silence speaks better than words. There are some points which can explain the importance of silence in any situation.
Make communication better:
Most people talk too much, and they don’t listen to anyone. Some of them feel guilty over talking because they missed the topic of conversation. Silence keeps us quiet and makes us listen to others carefully.
Being silent can deliver a stronger message than words. If we keep quiet and listen to others, we can focus on the words of the other people and even pay attention to his gestures.
Better decision making:
The main purpose of communication is to exchange information and make decisions about the particular problem. Being silent will help to analyze the situation first, so you can understand the matter and make a decision according to it.
When we are continuously talking, we can’t listen to the other person and can’t think about anything. Remaining silent will give you the time to think about the solution to the problem.
Being silent during conversation plays an important role in keeping the conversations in the limits. When someone uses harsh words against you, then it is not easy to remain silent. But when you start speaking in return, then the situation gets worse.
If you will remain quiet and listen to the other person and ignore his words, we will stop the conversation at that time. He may feel guilty after your quiet response and apologize to you.
How to remain silent:
There are many different things which can help to remain silent during the conversations; some of them are discussed below:
Meditation plays an important part in your physical health. When you meditate daily, your mind gets stronger, and you become more focused on your targets. Your blood pressure level will lower down and make you feel fresh.
When you are physically fit, you can control your emotions and anger during any situation.
Find a hobby:
When you are used to remaining silent alone, then it is easy for you to remain silent with other people. After a certain period of time of practicing the silence, you will enjoy remaining silent.
You can select any activity in which you can spend time alone with yourself. This will make your permanent habit to keep quiet in larger groups also.
If you try to stay silent for a specific period of time, you can remain calm in most situations. The calmness comes when you are practicing to remain silent for a long period of time on a daily basis. You mind preferring peace over disturbance.
You may also be interested in reading – Spending a Day of “Listening”
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people are more attracted to you when you speak less
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There are many different leadership styles that are directly related to the leaderвЂ™s personality and character, and many more that are a combination of several different philosophies. Many leadership styles, though, can be successfully implemented with a quiet approach.
Must-Haves for Quiet Leadership
Quiet leaders are powerful. They focus on action instead of words, and are able to generate excitement, encourage ownership and develop loyalty in unique ways. But itвЂ™s not easy to become an effective quiet leader. There are many factors that come into play if you are going to be successful at leading quietly, including:
- Earning the respect of your team
- Displaying confidence, but not overconfidence
- Being understanding, compassionate and open-minded
- Thinking laterally, not hierarchically
- Having a likeable and relatable personality
- Being approachable and easy to talk to
How to Be a Quiet Leader
Quiet leadership may certainly be easier for those that already have the analytical and possibly introverted behaviors already in place, but anyone can adopt a quieter leadership style by taking some conscious actions.
One of the most valuable qualities of a quiet leader is his/her ability to listen and hear what is being said. A quiet leader is not a tyrant, leading with an attitude of вЂњmy way or the highway.вЂќ ItвЂ™s more about giving everyone a chance to contribute, share in the process and have ownership in the result.
Effective listening not only means giving team members a chance to talk and share suggestions, points of view and ideas, but it also means that each suggestion will be considered and respected.
Let Go of the Ego
Quiet leaders lack something that is stereotypically present in good leaders вЂ“ an exaggerated ego. When you think вЂњleader,вЂќ you may think вЂњloud,вЂќ but those two words are certainly not synonymous. In fact, many times the volume comes from overconfidence, a competitive nature and inherent need to feed an ego.
If you can lead without directly relating your success or failure back to your own self-worth, you can turn down the volume and lead just as (or more) effectively.
Follow Your Own Lead
A good strategy in all types of leaders, but particularly quiet leaders, is never asking your team to do something you wouldnвЂ™t do yourself. And secondary to that is following the team ground rules and guidelines that youвЂ™re asking everyone else to follow.
If you hold yourself to the same standards and accountability that you are placing on your team, you will be quicker to earn their trust and respect. A must-have for effective leadership of any kind.
Keep Your Cool
Quiet leaders donвЂ™t fly off the handle when things go awry; they are able to stay calm, cool and collected in times of crisis.
Keeping your cool as a quiet leader also means being able to take constructive criticism from your team, being open-minded, and being able to admit when youвЂ™re wrong.
How Loud Are You?
I donвЂ™t necessarily think quiet leaders are always more effective than their boisterous counterparts, but I do think leading quietly can be more successful in some situations. Once you build up that level of respect with your team, you really donвЂ™t have to speak loudly to be heard. And that is the power of quiet leadership.
But what is more effective for you? Do you lead quietly or find that an increase in volume gets better results?
Often we pay the most attention to those with the loudest voices and the most to say. In doing this, we underestimate the power of the quiet ones.
At any gathering of people, be it a party or a business meeting, there will be those who talk loudly and demand attention. These extroverts have lots of great ideas, are socially adept and draw others to them like moths to a flame. At that same party or business meeting, there will often be a quiet one.
This person says little but listens a lot. If you watch carefully, you may see that he or she is taking everything in. When they finally speak, the rest of the group are often astonished by the power of their ideas or the insights the quiet one shares.
There is nothing wrong with either of these types of people. We need both the outgoing extroverts and the quieter, more introverted people to make society work.
The problem is, that in our current society, we pay the most attention to those who make the most noise. And this is a mistake. By doing this, we miss out on the amazing ideas and insights of the quiet one in the room.
Ways quiet people are often misunderstood
It is often assumed that quiet people have little to say, or that they are socially awkward. People may assume they don’t have any insights or ideas. Some people may even decide they lack intelligence. People may also assume that quiet people are weak, submissive and passive. None of these things are true.
In fact, quiet people are often strong, creative, intuitive and brilliant. We shouldn’t assume that just because they are quiet they will put up with bad behavior either. Quiet people watch and listen and when they have all the information they need, they act. So watch out that you don’t upset the quiet one – you could be in for a shock.
This hilarious quote from Amy Efaw sums it up:
“Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”
So here are six reasons you should never underestimate the power of a quiet person:
1. The quietest folk listen a lot and may know more than other people suspect.
The reason quiet people are quiet is that they are listening. Unfortunately, some louder people spend so much time talking they have little time for listening or thinking. Quiet people don’t make this mistake. They listen carefully and think deeply so you can be sure that when they finally do speak, they have something amazing to say.
Louder people should never assume that a quiet person has less knowledge or intelligence than them. If they do, they may well end up looking stupid.
2. Quiet people observe and pick up on more than others
It’s very hard to fool a quiet person. They listen and watch everything that goes on carefully. While louder types may amaze others with their eloquence and enthusiasm, the quiet one in the room will notice when those words have little depth and are full of bluster or badly thought through ideas.
They also pick up on much more than the words that are spoken. Quiet people focus on behavior and body language too. This means they easily spot inauthentic behaviors and outright lies and deceptions.
3. Quietness does not equate with weakness – so don’t mess with them
Quiet people will speak out against any wrongdoing or unfairness. They are quick to point out bad behavior. Quiet folk are often slow to defend themselves, but once they are pushed too far, they can react with astonishing power. They are also quick to support more vulnerable members of the group. Quiet people have high moral standards and a strong backbone so it’s best to keep on their good side.
4. Even the quietest of people have excellent social skills
Quiet people do not lack social skills. They just use a different set of skills to extroverts. In their own unobtrusive way, they develop close relationships built on trust and mutual respect. And when they are with those whose company they enjoy, they can be the life and soul of the party.
5. Quiet people can be just as determined and loyal as louder folk
Extroverts who think quiet people have little to offer should beware. While others are networking and proclaiming their ideas, quiet people are creating bonds of trust with others. They are also determinedly working on brilliant ideas of their own that, when revealed, will stun everyone else into silence.
6. Quiet people will not tolerate being treated badly
Some extroverts assume that they can easily take advantage of quiet people. This isn’t true. Quiet people have a well-developed sense of their own value. If anyone tries to fob them off with the boring and less prestigious jobs they will rebel. It isn’t wise to do this anyway as quiet people’s insights can be extremely useful to the group or team.
To sum up, always pay attention to the quiet ones. Though their mouths are often closed, their minds are wide open.
What other benefits are there to being the quiet one? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.
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Quick — who are the wisest people you know? Chances are they have at least a few things in common: They’re experienced, kind and of a certain age. Wisdom, the thinking generally goes, is hard-earned by putting in your time and piecing together scraps of knowledge along the way.
But maybe a younger person also sprang to mind — someone who, despite his or her relative youth, you regard as genuinely wise. That’s because wisdom — which University of Florida, Gainesville sociology professor Monika Ardelt, defines as a combination of cognitive, reflective and compassionate qualities — is not the sole purview of the elderly. Wisdom, explains Ardelt (who studies the topic), is something that can be cultivated, and the potential pay-offs are big: Her research has shown that wise men and women enjoy improved well-being as they age, because they’re better able to deal with challenges, such as declining health and the loss of loved ones.
So what are the secrets of those people who are wise beyond their years? Ardelt shares a few traits that wise people tend to have in common, as well as several pathways for getting there . soon.
1. Wise people have a lot of experiences .
The reason it’s often said that wisdom comes with age is, in fact, because older people tend to have had more life experiences than their younger counterparts. And experience, Ardelt says, is one of the true cornerstones of wisdom.
2. . And they’re sponges.
“It’s not just experiences alone that make you wise, it is learning from them,” Ardelt says — and not everyone does that. That’s why she pushes back against the idea that travel necessarily cultivates wisdom. Sure, some people leave their comfort zone and see the world through a different lens, which opens them up in new and valuable ways, but others travel the world and don’t learn at all. If anything, Ardelt said, traveling just reinforces their negative stereotypes. The key is soaking up lessons wherever you are, whether it’s the town where you’ve lived your entire life, or some far-flung location.
3. Wise people see what’s right in front of them.
After the publication of a recent New York Times article on the connection between age and wisdom (which referenced Ardelt’s research) a reader wrote her summing up wisdom as, basically, understanding the obvious. “Wise people know something,” Ardelt says. “But the interesting thing is not that they know more, about, say, the origin of the universe . wise people actually know the deeper meaning of things that are generally known, actually.”
We all know we’re going to die, for example. Wise people have a better understanding of the meaning of that, and live differently — placing an emphasis on relationships, spirituality and personal growth rather than on more superficial markers of success.
4. They meditate.
In order to achieve that kind of direct, I-see-who-I-am, who-you-are, and-the-circumstances-right-in-front-of-us kind of knowledge, reflection is paramount, Ardelt says. Which is why meditation — a kind of self-examination — has long been believed to be a pathway to wisdom. “It’s kind of a time out of everyday life by just observing the breath, or observing sensations,” she says. “Naturally, things come up and the trick is just to accept it, whatever it is, and not to react with negativity.”
5. Wise people grow from crises.
Often the people who are considered wise beyond their years have survived a trauma, or several, and have effectively coped with it, according to Ardelt. Indeed, there’s an entire area of psychology dedicated to post-traumatic growth — exploring the ways in which people who have survived something devastating emerge changed for the better.
But wisdom can also come from managing smaller problems, she says — such as a really bad day at work, or someone cutting you off in traffic: “These are little crises, and you can say, ‘How do I react to this?’ Do you get all riled up, or do you look at it from another perspective?” Your boss may have had a bad day, or that the man in traffic may have been under enormous pressure to get home for reasons you can’t fully know.
6. They have a strong support network.
One of the conditions that tends to separate people who are able to grow and learn from a difficult situation from those who are not is the presence of a strong support system, Ardelt explains. It may be a formal support group, therapy, friends or family. “People who feel that they are alone . if there is nothing, it can be very difficult to learn anything [from the trauma] because it’s just so devastating,” she says.
7. They’re tolerant.
Compassion is a key component of wisdom, Ardelt says. She cites the example of very skilled politicians or sales people who may have a keen understanding of themselves, or great insights into how the world works, but if they use that knowledge for self-centered means, they lack true wisdom.
That’s why reflection is so important — it helps you see yourself as you truly are, limitations and all, so you can then empathize with others, and act accordingly.
There’s not a word yet, for old friends who’ve just met.
I knew this guy in college who had a magnetic personality. Actually, I still know him. He’s a good friend of mine. But, I first got to know him well in college. He attracted people everywhere he went, like moths to a flame. It was amazing to me how easily he started conversations with unfamiliar people about everyday topics, and within minutes, was joking and chatting with them like they were old friends.
I was a bit on the shy side, and didn’t really get too talkative with people until I got to know them well. Of course, since I didn’t chat too often with people, it made it hard to get to know them. I envied my friend’s ability to be so free from self-consciousness and wanted very much to be like him. I began to watch him closely (without being too creepy) to try to figure out what it was that he did that made him so irresistible to other people.
In my pursuit of this magical ability to attract people to me, I began to read a lot of self-help books about positive self-image and people skills. As I was doing this, and observing my friend, I began to understand what it was that set him apart from others.
Why is it that some people just seem to attract others? What are they doing that is different than everyone else? Is it something you’re born with, or can this ability be learned? I believe that anyone can become this type of attractive individual.
Whether you’re trying to lead a group of people, establish a reputation as someone who’s got it all together, or you’re just trying to make more friends, there are two traits that will make your desire come true. I call them “traits”, but really they’re more like skills. They can be cultivated and developed if you don’t currently have them in abundance.
The first is confidence. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The difference, I think, is arrogance tries to impress others, while confidence doesn’t worry about whether others are impressed or not. You have to be comfortable in your own skin to be confident.
In college, I wasn’t quite there yet. The reason I didn’t initiate conversations with people I didn’t know was because I didn’t think they’d be interested in talking to me. Even though I had a broad range of interests, I thought that I wouldn’t have anything interesting to say to someone, and any conversation I tried to start would become awkward and strained. So, I just avoided the situation by hanging out with people like my friend, who took care of the conversational heavy lifting for me. I could chime in occasionally without being forced to carry the conversation myself.
I started to understand more and more that everyone feels this way (at least a little bit), due to the fact that we project our self-image onto other people. We assume that what we perceive as faults in our makeup are readily evident to everyone we meet. What I came to realize and believe is everyone feels this way to some extent or another. And, the person you’d like to talk to, but can’t because you’re too shy? They have the same types of hang-ups that you do. They’re most likely so obsessed with their own shortcomings that there’s no way they have the time or attention to pick up on yours.
What separated my friend, and other people with supreme self-confidence, from people like me was the fact that they knew this secret. They knew that the other person was most likely focused on themselves, so there was no reason to worry about their own shortcomings. This gave them the freedom to display the second characteristic that’s so important to building relationships.
The second trait is empathy. If, like I said previously, most everyone feels a little self-conscious around other people, then it’s helpful to be able to get them past that feeling. You want other people to feel comfortable around you. In order to do that, you have to understand these subconscious hang-ups that people have and work around them to draw the other person out. Make them feel at ease in your presence by finding common interests, or find something that they can speak intelligently on. If you can master the art of helping other people look and feel like experts on something when they’re around you, you’ll never be short of friends. People like to feel like they’re adding to the conversation. Here’s a hint: if you’re having trouble finding something to talk about, ask questions about them. Everyone’s an expert on themselves. 🙂
So, confidence and empathy. It sounds more intimidating than it is, but I understand it’s tough sometimes to take that first step, especially if you’re not used to doing it. Begin to make a habit of talking to people everywhere you go. If you’re at the grocery store, talk to the person in front of you in the checkout line. In the doctor’s office, talk to people waiting around. The only way you’ll condition yourself to talk to people and get over your fear of it is to do it frequently. By the time you’ve gotten over the fear, it’ll be a habit. And good habits are hard to break.
What do you think gives people a magnetic personality?
Being quiet is sometimes seen as a flaw, however, there are many good reasons to be quiet. Quiet and shy people also have many gifts to share.
Before we judge someone as a shy person, it’s worth digging a little deeper into their personality. Sometimes quiet people are shy and sometimes they aren’t. Quietness can be a sign of an introvert, or deep thinker of it may just be that a person is in a quiet mood. Either way, shyness and quietness are not flaws but can be gifts.
Many of us have been criticized for being quiet or shy. Schoolteachers often comment that their quieter students need to be more outgoing and speak up, and studies show that quiet people are less likely to get promotions, especially in the UK and the USA. Interestingly, many countries, such as China and Finland, do not think of quietness as a flaw at all.
So perhaps we need to look at quietness a little differently. Either way, before we judge someone as shy, it’s worth considering whether they may, in fact, be just engaging in one of the following behaviors.
1. They are thinking
When a quiet person is in a group of friends and doesn’t contribute as much to the conversation as others, it could be that they are just thinking. This is especially true if someone is asking for help or guidance. I wouldn’t want to jump in with an unconsidered response that could end up being bad advice.
2. They are interested in you
Quiet people are often fascinated by others. They want to know how others think and feel and what makes them tick. This can mean that they like to listen more than they speak.
If you are lucky enough to have a friend who is quiet, then make the most of it. In this life, it’s not often that we have someone willing to really listen deeply to what we have to say.
3. They have exceptional manners
Quiet people are often very polite and considerate. This means that they won’t interrupt someone else or push themselves forward in a group. Unfortunately, others may not be as patient and this can mean that the quiet person doesn’t get a word in even if they want to.
If you have a quiet friend or colleague, notice when they seem like they are trying to join in a conversation and try to make sure they get a chance to make their point.
4. They are secure
Sometimes loud people talk because they find silence awkward. Some quiet folk are not shy people at all; in fact, they are very secure in themselves. This means they are comfortable with natural silences in conversation and don’t rush in to fill the void with meaningless chatter.
5. They are waiting for more information
Often quiet people have things they want to say, but they are unsure how they will be taken. At times like this, they may want to listen to a bit more to get a better idea of what is really going on.
For example, a person who is ranting about their partner may just want to let off steam. If someone then agrees that their partner is awful, that might upset them. So often, a quiet person is just waiting for further information so that they can be certain of what the other person or people require from them.
6. They are feeling tired or under the weather
On some occasions, people may come across as shy people, when in fact, they are just not feeling at their best. It could be that their quietness is nothing more than that they didn’t sleep well, have a cold, or are worried about something.
7. They lack confidence
Though quietness can come from being secure, it can also come from a lack of confidence. Shy people may think that their ideas or comments aren’t clever or funny enough to share.
These people usually get less quiet once they feel secure within a group of friends and colleagues. They can get a huge boost of self-esteem when their funny comment makes others laugh or others consider their remark clever or insightful.
So, being quiet can have many causes, and some people may be loud in some situations and quiet in others. Usually, it’s best not to assume someone is a shy person just because they are quieter than others. They may, in fact, be very socially skilled.
Besides this, shy people are not flawed, in fact, many of the traits mentioned above can be very beneficial.