How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

For Teens: How to Convince Your ‘Strict’ Parents to Give You More ‘Freedom’

Teens generally yearn to gain freedom from their parents, but how can you earn it legitimately? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Speak the truth

For you to get more freedom from your parents you will have to earn their trust. This can only be achieved if they perceive you to be a truthful person. Therefore the more you are caught lying, the more your freedom will diminish and eventually lead to loss of certain privileges that will deprive you of the freedom you seek.

2. Admit mistakes

You may feel that your parents are picking on you when they point out your mistakes, but making excuses will only dent your credibility to earn independence. Apologising for your faults and showing willingness to make amends will lessen your curfews or restrictions and earn your parents trust in the long run. For Related article: How To Get Your Parents To Forgive You After You’ve Done Something Wrong

3. Offer to help out

Taking initiative to assist in tasks such as cooking, washing dishes, general cleaning, demonstrate to your parents that you are mature now and that you can handle responsibilities on your own. When you take the first initiative to help out, it removes the need for your parents to keep reminding you to do those chores.

4. Be responsible

Acting responsibly in all matters that pertain to your personal life e.g. Punctuality, financial matters, use of the phone or computer will improve your track record as a trustworthy person. The more you are consistent in displaying such responsibility, the lesser supervision will be upon you.

5. Be patient

You may feel that in spite of your best intentions you are not getting the freedom you deserve. Remember that building trust is like building a brick house, the complete house is only attained after building brick by brick. Be patient, in time you will gain greater freedom.

And of course, when you do finally get the ‘freedom’, try not to misuse it – you might never get another chance!

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

Do your parents treat you like a child? Do they question your every move? As you become older, you might want more independence and freedom. But sometimes, it’s hard for parents to let go. This is a problem many youths face, but there are ways to convince your parents to give you more responsibility.

Table of contents:

1 Act Older than Your Years

If you’re 16 years old but you act like a 10-year-old, don’t expect your parents to give you more responsibility. The truth is, you have to prove that you’re responsible. You have to earn their trust, and you do this with your actions. Understandably, you’re still young and it’s okay to have a good time. But if you want your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility, you need to prove that you’re able to handle this.

2 Take the Initiative with Little Things

The best way to convince your parents that you can handle more responsibility is to take the initiative with little things. In other words, don’t wait until your parents tell you to clean your room and do chores around the house. If you see something that needs to be done, do it. This can include taking the initiative and following a recipe and preparing dinner, or maybe sorting the laundry or cleaning out the garage.

3 Gain Their Trust by Obeying Rules

Earning your parents’ trust takes time, especially if you’ve made big mistakes in the past. One of the best ways to gain their trust is by obeying their rules. Regardless of how old-fashioned or outdated your parents’ rules may seem, it’s their house. So if your father says be home by 11 PM, don’t come walking in the door at 11:10 PM or 11:30 PM.

4 Don’t Hang out with Reckless People

If your family doesn’t trust your friends, they might question your activity when you’re hanging out with them. Have a heart-to-heart with your parents and ask how they feel about your association. Your parents may feel your friends are rude or a bad influence. Consider whether their concerns are valid, and if so, it might be time to choose a different set of friends.

5 Avoid Doing Things Your Parents Don’t like

Maybe your parents have made it clear what they like and what they don’t like. If you repeatedly ignore their feelings on certain subjects, it might be harder for your folks to let go and give you more freedom.

6 Show Parents You’re Capable of Taking Care of Yourself

If your mom cooks every meal for you, does your laundry and cleans your room, don’t expect your parents to give you more responsibility. In their eyes, you can’t even take care of yourself. This all goes back to taking the initiative. Get a part-time job as soon as you’re old enough and purchase your own clothes and pay your own cell bill.

7 Keep Your Cool when Upset

Your parents, your siblings and your friends are going to get on your nerves from time to time. Regardless of whether you’re right, always maintain your cool. Being able to stay calm under pressure is a sign of maturity, and if you can show that you’re mature, it’ll be easier for your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility.

Growing up is hard, especially if your parents continually treat you like a little kid. But as you mature and become more independent, your parents will realize you’re becoming an adult who can handle more responsibility. What are other ways to convince your parents to give you more responsibility?

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

Teens, listen up!

No matter who your parents are, there are a few things that you can do to drastically increase the chance of having them say “YES” rather then “NO.” Drastically!

Parents love to pretend they are cool and collected, but in reality, they are very predictable.
So much so that I guarantee that if you read the tips below, you can improve your life in several ways! Your parents will allow you to do more, trust you more and be more willing to see life from your perspective.

Try the tips below and let me know how they work out!

1. Ask with gratitude, show appreciation!

Nothing gets you a faster “No” from parents than giving them a feeling that they owe you or that you “deserve” things. Sure, they are responsible for your well-being and all that, but this is not an exercise in fairness. It’s about getting what you want.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

So, when you ask for something, use an equal amount of gratitude and an equal amount of asking. Saying, “Dad, can I have an Electric Guitar?”, is a recipe for a dry, speedy and disappointing “No.” Instead, try this: “Dad, I know you buy me expensive stuff sometimes that you work really hard for. This is really great, thank you.” Whatever follows that will be much better received.

The point is not to trick your parents into thinking you care; the point is that appreciation spreads good will, which will certainly come back to you.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

2. Trade what you want for what you can do

You may ask: “What can I possibly offer my parents? They hold all the cards!” Not true at all! Your parents care about one thing (having to do with you) almost more than anything: Your growing up into a responsible, happy adult. Any way you can show them that you are moving in the right direction will help your case endlessly.

So, when asking for something, also offer something in return. Two things you can always offer are doing specific chores and getting better grades in specific topics.

Being specific is important because that way, the results can be measured. Saying, “I’ll get better grades,” is one thing, but it’s much better to say, “I’ll get better grades in History.” You also actually have to mean it and do your part. Otherwise, your promise can have the opposite effect.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

3. Make them look good

One thing your parents care about, whether they admit it or not, is how they appear to others. Adults often feel judged about their parenting skills, and any way you can help them to feel confident as parents is a good thing.

So, when hanging around your parents in public, put your grown-up pants on. Make polite conversation with their friends. Answer their redundant questions as interestingly as possible. Contribute to the social scene. Believe me — proud parents’ hearts and wallets are much more likely to be open to your requests.

4. Match funds

“Mom, I really need a new pair of jeans. I tried them on at the mall. They cost $70, but I don’t have that much money. If I pay for half of them with my babysitting money, can you contribute the rest?”

This request sounds appreciative, responsible and like you’re a kid that knows the value of money. Mom will probably buy it for you outright!

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

5. Earn credit, slowly

When you want Mom or Dad to buy you something small, then just go ahead and ask. But for the bigger things — a car, MacBook Air, Nikon DSLR, etc. — a more deliberate approach and sometimes patience is needed.

The main thing you will need to prove to them is that you’re mature enough to deserve that thing you want. Don’t ask me why, but it does appear to be the case.

Figure out small things that will make you seem more responsible and do them. Offer to take on small responsibilities and always do what you said you would do and a tiny bit more.

If you show that you want to contribute to the family and don’t resent your responsibilities, you will start to be seen in a whole different light — a more grown-up light. When that happens, asking for things will have a much higher rate of success.

6. Be part of the solution, not the problem

We all feel mistreated and deserving of more sometimes. Sometimes we really are. However, being mature sometimes means being happy with what we have! Many adults don’t seem to get this idea, BTW.

So, lower the rate of drama. Don’t cite unfairness towards you unless it’s blatant. When a sibling starts something, be the mature one and let it go. All this builds confidence and credit. And it helps build a platform for the eventual “Sure, I’ll get that for you.”

7. Ask for delayed response

When they’re pressed into a corner, or when they feel rushed, parents are much more likely to say “No” rather than “Yes.”

So, start any big requests with something like this: “Dad, don’t say yes or no right now. I want you to think about it before answering.”

This will give Dad (or Mom) time to consider what you want, and also make you look more mature by showing that you are patient enough to wait a day for the reply.

8. Stage your requests carefully

Setting the stage for any question you want to pop is a key to increasing the odds for “Yes”! Follow these rules for shifting things in your favor:

-Make sure the person you’re asking is in a good mood. Stressed parent = “No!”
-Make sure they have time: “Mom, do you have a minute?”

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

9. “No” doesn’t always mean no

So you asked for something and they said no. This is not perfect, but it’s not the end of the world, either.

Figure out why! Figure out the reason they turned you down and then ask what you have to do to make it a “Yes.” If you get a general, unhelpful response, dig further: “OK, you want me to be more mature. I want that too. How can I show you that?”

Your persistence will most likely not be annoying or be regarded as questioning your parent’s authority; It will actually be seen as an adult way of taking responsibility and going after what you want.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

10. Remember: Your parents want to give you things!

Yes, they do! Your parents love you and look for opportunities to make your life better. They need to feel that you appreciate and deserve what you get. Learn how to ask and you will be rewarded.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

For more tips, get three chapters of my upcoming book, How to Get Your Parents to Agree with You on Almost Everything, free!

Are you a child that gets tired of your parents being over-protective? Or are you a parent that finds it hard to let go of your child? Many youths nowadays complain that their parents are overly protective and they do not respect them. Most children say that they are judged guilty without a trial when something goes wrong. And instead of letting the children choose for themselves, they are left shut out by the rules. The tips given below are the measures to be taken by children to gain their parents trust and freedom.

Step 1

Understand your parents. We must admit it, letting go is always hard to do. Your parents’ image of you as a helpless baby is still fresh in their minds and cannot be set aside easily. They can still clearly remember your childish mistakes and thus want to protect you — whether you like it or not. We must also understand that our parents are the ones that are responsible for the way we are raised.

Step 2

Respect your parents. We must understand that our parents spend so much time and emotion in us. The thought of us growing up and eventually leaving may disturb them. We can create a mature relationship with them based on common understanding, tolerance and respect. Respect begets respect. We shouldn’t rebel because we feel they’re being over-protective. Instead, we must give them the same respect that we want for ourselves.

Step 3

Act like a grown up. You must prove to your parents that you deserve their trust and freedom. And crying or whining about how unfair it was for them to accuse your motives isn’t right. You must respond to your parents with maturity. You must answer them in a mild way, to gain their respect.

Step 4

Follow their rules and regulations. The way you respond to your parents’ rules also has a lot to do with how you will be treated. Sulking, lying or disobeying is not good at all. Instead, try to tell them about what it is you want to do, so that they’ll understand the situation. Try to tell them all about where you’ll be and with whom and why it’s important to you to stay out later. In this way, they might even say yes. It is also good to bring your friends at home from time to time, so that they’ll know whom you’re often acquainted with.

Step 5

Be responsible. This is crucial if you want more freedom and responsibility. Take seriously whatever tasks your parents are giving you. Convince your parents that if they ask you to do something, no matter how small it is, it will be as good as done.

Step 6

Take the initiatives. How about offering to cook a meal for your family? Tell your parents that you want to do everything: plan the meal, make the grocery list, budget, shop, cook and clean. If cooking is not your forte, then think of doing something else. You can also try to have a part-time job and take the initiative to save and manage your own money. Though, this may mean less pocket money, your parents will surely observe your grown up way of handling money and be more inclined to give you more freedom.

Step 7

Use your perceptive power or your ability to make decisions. This means that if you have some “minor” problems, you try to work out the problem in your own mind first instead of running to your parents. You must weigh matters first before approaching your parents. You must let them hear the way you have thought the situation out. Then, ask for their observations.

We are living in this uncertain world, where violence, lies, hatred, anguish and badness are everywhere. We must understand that our parents are trying not to expose their children to such things. It’s hard for them to see their children suffering from misguidance. So as children, we must talk and act not as a child but as an adult. You must prove yourself worthy of the freedom. By doing all of the written measures above, we are already convincing our folks to treat us as an adult. Furthermore, we must be thankful that we are given concerned parents who care what happens to us.


Parents and teens often clash over the balance of privileges and responsibilities. Although it might not seem fair that your parents have strict rules for you, they are trying to keep you safe and help you develop a level of responsibility that will allow you to act on your own in the world. You can show your parents that you have earned more freedom by behaving as a responsible, mature member of the family.

Explore this article

  • Listen to Them
  • Prove Responsibility
  • Ask About Them
  • Negotiate for Privileges

1 Listen to Them

The first step of negotiation is listening. Ask your parents what they need from you in order to feel comfortable giving you more freedom. People feel powerful when they are talking, according to Three Ways To Negotiate About Anything on Allow your parents to have authority and speak first. This will work to your advantage because you are showing that you can listen without getting angry or talking over them. Just listen and take mental notes. Then, thank them and ask to talk about it further at a later date.

2 Prove Responsibility

The next step is to do as you are told. Your parents might have expressed concern for your safety, your decision-making skills or your level of responsibility. If they are always nagging you to do your chores, do the chores and the nagging will stop, according to Dr. Phil McGraw’s website. Do some extra things without being asked to prove that you are responsible. Keep it up on a regular schedule. Change doesn’t happen overnight. You will have to prove yourself over one month or more.

3 Ask About Them

Your parents want to feel like a valued and respected part of your life, not just an obstacle in the way of getting what you want. If you want your parents to respect you and give you freedom, show that you care about them as much as they care about you. Sit down and ask sincere questions without an agenda that’s focused on you. Do this often and you will grow closer as a family.

4 Negotiate for Privileges

When the time comes for you to request more freedom, negotiate calmly with your parents. Being able to ask for something and accept no for an answer without fighting shows maturity. Tell your parents that you have listened to what they need, and point out the ways in which you have exercised more responsibility and maturity over the last few weeks or months. Then choose one thing to ask for: a later curfew, permission to attend a social event or permission to drive the family car, for example. It is better not to pressure them with a specific deadline. Leave the question open. If they say no, try to compromise. No matter what happens, remember that they have your best interests at heart.


Taking control of your life from your parents is necessary so that you can develop into a responsible and mature adult. Parents often have a difficult time letting go of their children out of fear for their well-being. There are many ways that you can show your parents that you are ready to start making your own choices and choosing the direction that you want your life to take.

Explore this article

  • Show That You are Responsible
  • Let Them Mentor You
  • Don’t Use Them as a Lifeline
  • Learn to Say “No”

1 Show That You are Responsible

If you want your parents to give you more freedom, you need to start by showing them that you are responsible and mature. You can show them that you are capable of making good choices for yourself by getting a job or managing your own money. Talk to them about your future plans and how you are working to achieve them. If your parents know that you are driven and have a long-term plan for yourself, they will be more willing to let you take control of your own life and your future.

2 Let Them Mentor You

Reassure your parents that becoming more independent does not mean that you no longer need them or they will not be involved in your life. Controlling parents often fear losing their children if they give them freedom. Help your parents understand that they can still be there to give you advice and support. In his article “Surviving Adolescence” for Psychology Today, psychologist Carl Pickhardt recommends that parents transition from being managers to mentors of their children. Be willing to ask for advice from your parents, but gently remind them that you have the right to make your own choices, even if that includes making mistakes. Calmly ask that they try to avoid making judgments and assure them that you will ask for feedback along the way, then follow through.

3 Don’t Use Them as a Lifeline

It’s hard to expect freedom and independence from your parents if they have to come to your rescue every time you have an emergency or unforeseen expense. Next time you have a problem, try to resolve it yourself. This will show your parents that you are capable of dealing with problems and emergencies on your own. Start saving up for unplanned expenses so your parents don’t have to lend you money every time your car needs repairs or you need to pay a bill. If you continue taking money from your parents, they will continue feeling like they have a say in your life.

4 Learn to Say “No”

Life coash Jana Beutler Holland, with Life in Motion Coaching, points out that one of the biggest steps in taking control over your own life is learning to say “no.” This can be especially difficult when it comes to your parents because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them feel alienated. On the other hand, it is important that you begin to stick to your decisions and develop a more assertive attitude. Saying “no” to your parents doesn’t mean you have to be rude or impolite. Next time they volunteer you for something you don’t want to do or choose something for you, calmly explain that you are unavailable or had something different in mind. Slowly, they will grow accustomed to asking first before they make a decision for you.

I do not know, nor do you mention, if their searching your possessions is a result of their already finding things among your possessions like alcohol, drugs, pornography, weapons or stolen goods. Do you think that you have given them any cause to suspect that you are keeping anything in your possession that you should not have? You do mention that you don’t “have anything to hide” but then quickly follow that statement with, “well actually I do but they are my personal possessions.” So there are clearly things that you keep in your room or somewhere in your house, which you do not want your parents to see or to know about, correct?

The big issue here is trust. If you think they are just randomly rummaging through your possessions in an effort to “check up” on you, for no good reason other than their concern that you might be doing something wrong, then they really do need to stop this continuing invasion of your privacy. Perhaps you can get another trusted family member, extended family member or trusted family friend to help you make your case with your parents. Your clergy and your school counselor might also offer to plead your case with your parents. Perhaps a meeting with a family therapist could help you and your parents come to an agreement about this. I know that I am challenging you to take some action here. I do so because I don’t think that your parents see anything wrong with what they are doing and they will not ask for help in this area. Please let me know if I can help out further and let your parents know that they can consult me as well for an objective opinion on this matter.

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he’s been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader’s Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, and many other publications.

How to Convince Your Parents to Get You an iPhone (4 Steps)

Purchasing a phone, let alone, an iPhone is a big responsibility your parents are handing on to you. The phone itself costs an arm and a leg, and there is also the additional cost for data usage and some other accompanying administrative charges that could pile up, even if you take on a two-year contract to get one. More than that, there is a worry of using the half a thousand bucks worth of phone responsibly. Unless your family is particularly well-off, you would need to have an established reputation for being a trustworthy and responsible child before you even think about your request. How to convince your parents to get you an iPhone? Try out the following guide to help you have your request granted.

How to convince your parents to give you more freedom

How to Convince Your Parents to Get You an iPhone (4 Steps)

Step 1: Doing Financial Research

Apple once stated that their product is aimed to be a luxury brand, i.e. they are not meant to be cheap. Do your own research. Before convincing your parents, research how much it will cost them to buy or upgrade to the iPhone. Find out the network carrier your family prefers and the current plan you are on. Go online, or even to the physical store to consult the cost.

It is possible to get the iPhone for slightly lower cost, possibly free even, depending on your family’s current contract and rewards program.

Even so, forking out additional $50 a month for a new phone will add up to $600 in a year. Sure you can always get a lower price for it, but learn the best plan you could take, while at the same time learn how much the additional financial burden affects your family’s expenses.

Step 2: Showing Your Responsibility

1. Take care of all of your expensive belongings

Show your parents how well you are taking care of the other electronic devices you currently own, such as iPods, tablets, gaming consoles and computer. Keep them organized, clean and well-protected. Maybe even get a protective sleeve for your laptop.

2. Keep (or get) your grades up

As a child, you are bound to have limited responsibilities. One of those is ensuring that your grades are up there at the top. Moreover, your parents might consider the smartphone as the additional tool for an additional distraction. Take a good, honest, hard look at your grades before you make your request.

3. Consider getting a job

Another way to get your privilege up to them is to convince your parents that sweet iPhone is the one you want to help them pay. Start earning money and they might be more liberal with what type of phone you are interested in. Get a part-time job on weekends (or after-school), work as a waiter or help out in the grocery stores. While this will make you look more responsible in the eye of your parents, just remember that you would still need to maintain your grades up.

Step 3: Finding Good Reasons

1. Good for study

The iPhone is an excellent tool for studying, being a tiny portable computer with ready access to the internet. With one, you have an easy access to any references and teachers.

If your parents are not particularly tech savvy, make the effort to explain all the useful apps and features that you will have right at your fingertips, be it an encyclopedia or a dictionary. Then all you need to do is just prove it with a steadily improved grade.

2. Keep in touch

The iPhone is not just a phone, it has everything you need to keep in touch with anyone, from anywhere. Text message, instant message, emails, phone calls, social networking, all are ready to use. Get your parents impressed with those features that allow them to reach you with any method they prefer, to ease them with the financial trade-offs.

3. Safer

If you are going off to the college, a phone will be necessary not just as means of communication, but also for safety reason. With the iPhone’s built-in GPS features, for example, your parents could worry less since now they know you won’t find yourself lost in the woods on another side of the state.

Step 4: Talking With Your Parents

1. Ask with gratitude, show appreciation!

This is most significant for how to convince your parents to get you an iPhone when talking with parents: They don’t owe you anything and certainly you don’t deserve anything. Expect an instant “No” when you try to ask. You are trying to get what you want, but on the way to what you want, are the parents who deserve all the gratitude for your current well-being. Help out with chores or thank them when you ask them for something.

2. Trade what you want for what you can do

Your responsibility as a child is to grow up into a happy adult with said responsibility. The parents’ job is to make sure that happens, and that’s why they care about you so much. Despite your underlying intentions, show them that you are in the right direction towards their goal. Help out around the house and earn those karma points. Don’t forget to get good grades which are still possibly the easiest way to convince them with.

3. Ask for delayed response

Rushing or pressing your parents into a corner will more likely result in an easy “No.” This is a considerably big request you are asking, so give them a similar amount of time to consider it.

This is more than just an iPhone to them: it’s a major financial investment, and a huge responsibility and freedom they are passing on to you.