How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

This article was co-authored by Amanda Marshall-Polimeni. Amanda Marshall-Polimeni is a Dog Behavior Consultant and the Owner/Founder of FurryTales in New Jersey. With a deep understanding of behavioral learning theories and a passion for the physical and psychological well-being of animals, Amanda specializes in using non-coercive, reinforcement-based approaches to generate desired behaviors. Amanda holds a BASc in Applied Psychology from NYU and is a Certified Professional Dog Trainer – Knowledge Assessed (CPDT-KA) and Certified Behavior Consultant Canine (CBCC-KA). She has also completed a Master’s Course in Aggressive Dog Training. Her initiative and dedication to quality, comprehensive animal care at FurryTales led to her recognition by Grow by Acorns + CNBC.

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You and your parents won’t always agree, and sometimes, it can be difficult to convince your parents to let you do something even if you believe you deserve a chance to do it. To convince your parents to let you do anything, you’ll need to craft a strong case for the activity in question before even approaching them, then ask about it in a calm, polite tone when your parents are relaxed and able to listen. Give them time and be willing to reach a compromise to help show them that you’re mature enough to handle whatever it is you want to do. It’s possible the answer will still be “no”, but if you do your part to negotiate well, you’ll improve your odds of getting that “yes”.

Need Some Persuasive Writing Prompts? From the time kids learn to speak, they begin forming arguments and working to persuade others to give them what they want. Of course, these arguments aren’t always as sophisticated as those of a skilled diplomat. Kids are likely to use reasons such as “because I want it” or “because it would be fun.” As kids get older, it’s important to teach them how to form persuasive arguments based on logic and appeals to reason.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

With these 54 new persuasive writing prompts, kids get the chance to think critically about persuasive arguments and to practice their persuasive techniques. With chances to pretend to persuade their parents, siblings, teachers, and friends, students will learn how to consider the audience’s perspective when explaining their own reasoning.

Practicing persuasive writing helps kids become accustomed to stating their appeals and offering evidence for their arguments. This exercise also helps students understand how other people attempt to persuade them—whether it is a friend, classmate, or through advertising and the media.

As kids answer each prompt and attempt each practice argument, encourage them to back up their appeal with at least three logical reasons. Ask students to consider their audience and to choose reasons that will appeal to each person’s perspective. With an understanding of persuasive tactics and practice in presenting their arguments, kids will improve their critical thinking skills and become better at expressing what they want.

Persuasive Writing Prompts for Students

1. Persuade your parents to let you get a pet.
2. Persuade your parents to give you a week off from your chores.
3. Persuade your parents to take a family vacation.
4. Persuade your parents to buy you a new book.
5. Persuade your parents to let you redecorate your room.
6. Persuade your parents to let you stay up late.
7. Persuade your parents to extend your time to watch TV or be on the computer.
8. Persuade your parents to let you have a friend stay the night.
9. Persuade your parents to let you open a Christmas or birthday present early.
10. Persuade your parents to go out for dinner tonight.
11. Persuade your sister or brother to play a game with you.
12. Persuade your sister or brother to do one of your chores for you.
13. Persuade your sister or brother to let you borrow one of their favorite toys or shirts.
14. Persuade your sister or brother to play a joke on your parents with you.
15. Persuade your sister or brother to help you with your homework.
16. Persuade your sister or brother to help you clean your room.
17. Persuade your sister or brother to help you talk your parents into something you want to do.
18. Persuade your sister or brother to spend the afternoon doing what you want.
19. Persuade your sister or brother to do a favor for you.
How to convince your parents to let you stay up later
20. Persuade your sister or brother to save up for something special together.
21. Persuade your teacher to let the class work on an assignment with partners.
22. Persuade your teacher to give everyone a night off from homework.
23. Persuade your teacher to have class outside.
24. Persuade your teacher to end class early.
25. Persuade your teacher to give the class a reward for a job well done.
26. Persuade your teacher to take a field trip.
27. Persuade your teacher to let the class bring snacks.
28. Persuade your teacher to have a “show and tell” day.
29. Persuade your teacher to give out homework passes for good grades.
30. Persuade your teacher to let the class have a party.
31. Persuade your friend to trade lunches with you.
32. Persuade your friend to try something new together.
33. Persuade your friend to do what you want at recess.
34. Persuade your friend to invite someone new to hang out with you both.
35. Persuade your friend to listen to your favorite band or to read your favorite book.
36. Persuade your friend to let you borrow something special of his or hers.
37. Persuade your friend to watch the movie you want.
38. Persuade your friend to join a new club or group with you.
39. Persuade your friend to work on schoolwork together.
40. Persuade your friend to stay the night at your house.
41. What is the best way to persuade someone?
42. Are you good at persuading people? Why or why not?
43. Write about a time when you successfully persuaded someone. How did you do it?
44. What would you do if you tried to persuade someone and they didn’t agree?
45. Why is it important to present your argument kindly and respectfully?
46. What does it mean to persuade someone?
47. What strategies do you use to persuade people?
48. What are some instances in which people try to persuade each other?
49. Are some people easier to persuade than others? Why or why not?
50. What is the best way for someone to persuade you? Why does this method work?
51. How can you persuade someone without taking advantage of him or her?
52. What can you offer people in exchange for doing what you want?
53. If you could persuade your parents to do anything, what would it be? Why?
54. There is an old saying that says, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” What do you think this means? How does it relate to persuading someone?

More Persuasive Writing Topics

  • 31 Persuasive Essay Essay Topics for Middle Schoolers
  • 15 Persuasive Writing Prompts for Elementary Students
  • Persuasive Writing Topics for Kids

Until next time, write on…

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How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Sooner or later the time comes for every child to leave the nest and start an independent life. Since the early 2000s, the number of young adults still living with their parents has soared and according to a recent U.S. study, as high as 20% of adults aged 25-34 lived at their parents’ home, which is nearly double what it was in 2005. In the state of Texas, that number is 20.6% – slightly above the national average of 20.1 % and studies indicate it’s mostly so due to the decline in employment and stagnation in wages. Moving out of your parents’ home is a big decision to make and quite a change that calls for careful planning, budgeting, research and adapting. It’s certainly not something any young person should rush in.

Talk to your parents

Whether your parents want you to keep living at home or they are supporting your decision to start an independent life, you all need to talk about your decision to move out. There will be a lot of emotions involved, often conflicting ones, so when you tell them about your final decision to move out, be considerate of their feelings as well.

Make a plan

Don’t start packing without having made a solid plan. Consult with your parents and friends, set a goal date and make your moving list. Include an approximate location, neighborhood, type of property you would like to live in, time frame and whether you plan to live alone or share the place with a roommate.

Fix your credit score

If you haven’t had an exemplary credit score so far, now is the time to fix it. Whether you wish to rent or buy, a poor credit score can have numerous negative repercussions. For instance, a mortgage lender might deny you a loan or a landlord might pick someone with a better credit score. Landlords typically run credit checks on potential tenants to get a good picture of their future paying ability. If you don’t have a credit score of your own yet, you could ask your parents or relatives with good credit to cosign for you. However, it’s advisable you use the time at your parents’ home to start building a presentable credit score. One way to do it is to sign up for a credit card and use it to pay for all your purchases. Make an effort to pay your bills on time, and your credit score will keep rising.

Look for a home

The next step is to start looking for a home, and in today’s hard-to-navigate market, it’s not easy to find one so you should begin very early on. In some markets the competition is fierce and the prices are extreme. On the other hand, some new and developing markets in Texas offer ideal opportunities for new renters. If you consider apartments for rent in Midland, you’ll find some excellent properties with great indoor and outdoor amenities for a very affordable price.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Start saving

To be able to make your down payment, you’ll have to start saving to form a good budget. Once you’ve managed to save up, you’ll have to set up another budgeting program so you can figure out how to cover all the expenses of living in a new home – the rent or your mortgage, bills and groceries. Also, take into consideration your new location – if it’s further away from work, you will need to factor in your gas budget or public transportation.

Find a steady job

Without a steady income to cover all your expenses, living on your own would be extremely stressful. Such a situation typically leads to long-term financial issues like belated payments, debt, and a disastrous credit score. If you feel you’re not stable enough financially, it might be smarter to stay at home for a while longer. To get things going and reach some sort of financial stability, consider getting an entry-level position job, even if it’s not what you’ve always wanted. You’ll at least get valuable work experience and earn some money while a perfect job opportunity doesn’t come along.

Final steps

While living with your parents, you’ve been using their utilities and now it’s time you set up your own at your new place so you don’t end up in a dark home with no electricity. It’s advisable you contact the utility companies early on and have things set up in time. Also, you want to keep receiving your mail so make sure you also change your address. The process is quite straightforward, but don’t forget to also change your credit card billing address and inform your bank you’re moving. You should notify your college if you’re still a student or your current employer. To avoid confusion, it’s helpful to send out an email to let your friends and family know you’ve moved. Whether you’re moving across town, to another town or continent, starting an independent life can be challenging and intimidating. However, if you get organized and prepared, both mentally and emotionally, make a good plan and secure a steady budget and get a great place to live, the transition will be smooth and exciting!

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Getting Parents To Let You Go Out With Friends

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

A common complaint from young people is that their parents don’t allow them to go out to socialise. It can be difficult when you see your friends going to the park, or going into town, and you always have to say no.

Do you feel your parents are being unreasonable? And what can you do to convince them to let you go?

Why won’t they let you go out with friends?

Parent’s can be really good at worrying about you! They may have heard about something bad that’s happened to someone else. It can be hard for them not to focus on the bad things and worry that the same thing will happen to you.

They may have seen something in the news about all the trouble that young people can get up to. It can be difficult not to imagine you getting mixed up in something similar. Some parents also struggle to accept that their children are growing up to be young adults.

It’s good to socialise

Whatever their reasoning is, the result is the same, you can’t go out and socialise with your friends. But being able to do this can be very important to someone of your age, for a number of reasons:

  • Feeling like you’re a part of something, a sense of belonging
  • It can increase your confidence
  • Can be comforting as you and your friends are going through similar experiences
  • Allowing you to learn things from your friends
  • Gaining experience of getting along with people of the opposite sex as friends
  • A chance to experiment with different roles, ideas, values and identities
  • A chance to form romantic relationships
  • Learning important social and emotional skills – sensitivity to other people’s thoughts, feelings and well-being
  • Learning how to be fair and how to trust others
  • Gaining practical skills such as reading bus timetables, time management or budgeting

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to change your parents’ minds?

So thinking about all the reasons why having this independence is good, how can you change your parents’ minds? It is possible, but it might take some careful planning. Why not try the following suggestions?

Pick the right time

Ask your parents when they have time to talk. Or if you know that they relax on a Sunday afternoon then choose that time to speak to them.

Don’t wait until the last minute to ask them, however scared you are that they’ll say no. Parents like to be organised and prepared, especially if there’s money or lifts involved.

Make sure they’re in a good mood when you decide to ask. If you can sense they are stressed or tired, don’t ask. If you’re already in trouble for something else, don’t ask. A good time to ask would be after you’ve impressed them with your maturity or helpfulness. They may be more inclined to say yes if they see the young adult and not the young child.

Be thoughtful

Once you’ve asked, don’t bug them for an answer. Be patient. If you annoy them they’re less likely to agree. Give them time to think about your request.

Work with your family’s schedule to the best of your ability. Try and co-ordinate your plans with your parents, not against them. Make it easy for them to say yes. Try not to miss family events in favour of time with your friends all the time.

Be prepared and honest

Be prepared. Have all the details ready – where, when, who, what, even why maybe. The more information you can give them, the happier they are likely to be.

Be honest. If you are caught out lying – and you will at some point – they will struggle to trust you again.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Tactics

Start small. Ask if you can go to a friend’s house for the afternoon, before moving on to going into town or a night out at the cinema. The more comfortable your parents are with you going out, the more times they will say yes to your requests.

Tell your parents what they want and need to hear. The main reason they want to say no is because they love you and feel you’re safest at home with them. Re-assure them that where you’re going to is safe, the people you’re going with are decent and that you have no intention of doing anything illegal or dangerous. Tell them that you’ll send them a text every hour for the first few times to put their minds at rest. These small things will make it so much easier for your parents and in turn for you.

Keep calm when discussing your plans. Your parents won’t want to let their child who is having a temper tantrum out. They are more likely to be convinced by their mature young adult. Don’t spoil it for yourself by making demands, threats or losing your temper if at first you don’t get the answer you want.

Accept defeat and be proactive

As hard as it is sometimes you might have to accept defeat this time in order to win next time. Even if your parents say no you can still benefit by reacting in a mature way. Thank them for listening to you and don’t get angry or yell at them. Remember, mature young adult and not temper tantrum toddler! Your mature reaction should impress them and they might either change their mind or say yes next time you ask.

If there were conditions to you going (tidying your bedroom/doing your homework) make sure you do it. Don’t give them a reason to change their mind. You don’t want to spoil it for yourself.

If possible let your parents meet the friend’s you want to go out with or speak to the adults whose home you might be staying over at. Hopefully that will help to put their mind at rest.

Be appreciative and understanding

Show your appreciation. Thank your parents if they let you go and don’t do anything to let yourself down. If you do get caught doing something you shouldn’t, chances are next time their answer will be no.

If they say no, as hard as it is, try to understand their reasons. Remember not to overreact but don’t give up. Ask them again the next time there is a get together. Use the ‘It’s good to socialise’ list above and tell them why socialising with friends is important. The answer may be different next time.

Call Meic

If you think that your parents are being unfair and want to talk to someone about it, or if there’s anything else worrying you, then call Meic to talk to a friendly advisor.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Meic is an information and advocacy helpline for children and young people aged 0-25 in Wales. We are open 8am to midnight, 7 days a week. You can contact us free on the phone (080880 23456), text message (84001) or online chat.

Psychotherapist. Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. Wife. Mom. Stepmom. Dogmom. abbyrodman.com

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

In the history of the world, begging a partner to stay has never ended in a good result. Even if — after all your pleading — your partner agrees to hang out in the relationship a while longer, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will grow tired of the charade. Not only that, but begging is demoralizing. There’s no dignity in it. And sometimes, when a relationship is crumbling, self-respect is all you’ve got left.

Tears and threats won’t move your partner — at least not in any permanent fashion — so save your energy for tactics that will make a difference. What you’re going for here is reason not emotion.

Here are five conversation starters that just may tilt the relationship — and your partner — back toward togetherness. More than one break-up scenario may apply to your situation, so mix and match as needed!

Script #1
When it’s news to you:

I know you’re ready to call it quits. The thought of that is devastating to me especially since it seems so sudden. This is all so unexpected and I don’t know what to make of it. Given all the time we’ve had together, I’m asking you to consider setting a mutually agreed upon timeline for your leaving. Please understand that I need some time to adjust (and so do the kids). If you still feel the same way in x months, I won’t stand in your way — but I hope we’ll use that time to try and fix what’s broken.

Script #2
When forgiveness is the issue:

You know I’ve been having a hard time forgiving you for your (affair, lying, unavailability) but I know I have to if I want you to stay in this relationship. You’ve apologized but I haven’t really heard you. I’m sure you think I’ll never forgive you and that we’ll be fighting about this forever. I promise you, that’s not the case. I’m going to do everything in my power — and I’m committed — to fully forgiving you and moving on. I hope you’ll give me a chance to show you I’m capable of this.

Script #3
When the kids are (almost) gone:

You really seem in a hurry to leave — and I understand that. Neither one of us has been happy here for a long time. You know I really don’t want this but we have to consider that the kids are struggling, too. Given that they’re in high school (or leaving home soon), we only have a short time left to live together as a family. I truly think that would be the best thing for all of us. If you can wait a little while, I don’t think you’ll regret you made that choice for them. Please think about it.

Script #4
When you need help — and haven’t gotten it:

It seems crazy to throw away our relationship without getting some outside advice. We’ve put so much time and energy into our marriage (and family) that it’s only wise to see if we can make improvements with the help of a professional. On top of that, we really want to be able to tell the kids we tried everything to hold our marriage together. If we don’t at least try couples therapy, we won’t be able to tell them that and mean it. We have to show them that our marriage — and our family — was worth fighting for.

Script #5
When you’re ready to take ownership:

I know you’re having a hard time forgiving me for my (affair, addiction, neglect) and I totally get that. Now, I’m paying the price for my behaviors and you’re ready to leave — and it’s killing me. Maybe I haven’t shown you enough how sorry I am. I know I’ve hurt you through my words and actions and it slays me to see you in so much pain. I certainly have a lot of making up to do. Would you consider staying a while longer so I can show you I can take full responsibility?

Script #6
When the relationship has been an afterthought:

I can’t believe we’ve gotten to this place where you want to end our relationship. I’m sad to say that I kind of get it. Neither one of us has put much effort into it for a very long time. We’ve let everything else take priority — work, the kids, our families — and we’ve neglected what was once a very good thing. I’m horrified that things have deteriorated to this point and I’m wondering if there’s any chance we could try again. We loved each other once. We really did. And I’m convinced, with some work, we can get things back on track. Are you willing to give it a try?

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

According to the World Health Organization, there are over 50 million people living with dementia. It is the leading cause of a loss of independence in seniors and one of the hardest diseases to accept.

So what do you do when your aging parent refuses to admit there is a problem?

Dealing With a Parent Who Denies Dementia Symptoms

Is Dad or Mom having difficulty remembering appointments or names? Or getting lost coming home from the grocery store? You may notice it is becoming more difficult to have a conversation as your parent becomes confused and can’t find the words to finish a sentence.

The signs of dementia are obvious to you, but when you mention the possibility to your parent, they deny the dementia symptoms and refuse to get help. What can you do?

It’s important to understand the two main reasons why a parent would deny dementia symptoms:

Anosognosia

Anosognosia is simply a word that means a lack of awareness that you have an impairment. This can be part of the brain damage that occurs with dementia.

As the brain changes physically, the part of the brain that would be able to understand that there is a problem is damaged.

If your parent has anosognosia they can’t understand the presence of dementia. That is just what it is. You will not be able to convince your parent of the dementia symptoms that you see.

Many people have an extreme fear of being diagnosed with dementia. Can you imagine anything scarier than being told that you will progressively decline and lose your ability to remember those around you? That you will lose control of every part of your life?

Sidnee Peck, from the Smart Brain Aging website, states that admitting that you have dementia makes it real.

This fear can be a psychological coping mechanism. If your parent does not acknowledge that there is a problem, they may feel that the problem does not have to be dealt with.

How You Can Handle Dementia Denial

Your parent does not have to accept that they have dementia for you to help them. Getting a diagnosis of dementia is more important for you as a caregiver to be able to best help your parent.

Alzheimer’s Disease International states that getting an early diagnosis of dementia will:

  • Allow you to have the time to take advantage of therapies that may enhance their quality of life and slow the progression of the disease
  • Give both you and your parent time to make decisions about financial and legal issues
  • Prepare for the changes that will come as the disease progresses

Use the following steps to help guide you and your parent through a diagnosis of dementia:

  1. Collect detailed information. Educate yourself on what the symptoms of dementia are and then make a list of the signs and symptoms that you have noticed. Make note especially of any changes that you have seen over the last year or two. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends listing when the symptoms began and how frequently they occur. Ask your parent if you can accompany them to their next doctor’s appointment and let them know you want to talk to the doctor about what is normal aging.
  2. Encourage your parent to keep track of changes in their communication, daily functions and memories. Let your parent know that there are often other causes for changes in memory and that seeing the doctor can allow you to rule out treatable conditions.
  3. If your parent can accept the diagnosis or is aware of the dementia symptoms, be honest and supportive. Many people in the early stages of dementia continue to live a happy and fulfilling life for years with proper support.
  4. Start small. Your first steps will be to educate yourself on the signs of dementia, to keep track of changes that you notice and to have your parent see a doctor.
  5. Tell your parent that you are on their team and that you want what is best for them. Be aware of what the typical tests and questions that your doctor will offer.

Ways to Offer Help

Even after seeing a doctor and receiving a diagnosis of dementia your parent may still refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem.

Your job is not to convince your parent of the problem but to focus on what you need to do to keep your parent healthy and safe.

The Alzheimer’s Association has a tool called the “Alzheimer’s Navigator” that helps you to set up a personalized action plan and connect you with local resources.

You can also call the 24-hour Alzheimer’s helpline to speak with a Care Consultant. A trained counselor or geriatric care manager can help you address safety concerns like driving.

You can’t force your parent to accept the symptoms of dementia that you see. Part of dementia is often an inability to remember or recognize the problem. Realizing this can help you to feel more compassion and less frustration with your parent.

What you can do is educate yourself on dementia symptoms, take your parent to see the doctor and plan for what you will do to help keep your parent safe.

What strategies have you used to deal with a parent who denies dementia symptoms? What has worked and what didn’t work? We’d like to hear your suggestions in the comments below.

Blog on e-business and online payments.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up laterAs a seller, you’ve got a wide range of products or services. They are of excellent quality. So why would your potential customers be struggling with the final decision? The answer is simple: there are thousands of sellers like you out there and you need to make sure to stand out so that these potential buyers become your customers. For the sake of this article, let’s just call them customers.

Here are some good practices to incorporate into your business in order to convince your customers to buy from you:

1. Prepare appropriate and clear descriptions of the products or services you offer. Together with adequate prices. No hidden costs. Be specific and to the point. People like to know about the details which help them make proper decisions. Speak the language of benefits but be honest. Do not promise what you cannot keep. It is easy to fall in a “one-time customer” trap but avoid that path. Maintaining great relationships with your new customers will help you keep them for longer and, who knows, maybe will make them ambassadors of your brand. Moreover, show pictures of your products or services. Take good photos. If need be, hire a professional photographer. Assure your customers they are not buying a pig in a poke. Check out the JOY website to see some examples of great descriptions and detailed photos.

2. Provide something more than is expected, a kind of bonus. People like bonuses. They help build positive emotions around your brand. They make customers feel happy and appreciated. As a result, the customers will strongly connect these positive emotions to your brand and the chances are you won’t be forgotten. Add samples, use a creative packaging system, add a funny note or an additional feature your customer didn’t pay for but which might be useful for them. Essentially, do whatever it is to distinguish yourself from other similar sellers. Be unique and thoughtful but bear in mind to target your customers appropriately so there is no “faux pas”.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

4. Give clear and detailed information about the shipping. What kind of details might your customers expect? First of all, they need to know about the costs and methods of shipping. Do not forget to include information about restrictions, provided there are such. Are you shipping overseas as well? Great! Make sure to include that. It is an excellent idea to provide your customers with the shipping status once they have made a purchase, especially if the goods you offer are expensive or even luxurious. Furthermore, it is a common practice to reward the ones who spend more than an average customer with a free shipping.

5. Your customers must be informed about terms and conditions that rule in your world. Make sure these rules are simple, understandable and easily available to your customers so they do not have to spend time looking for them. Here is an example of the terms and conditions shared by LinkedIn (these are also called terms of service or user agreement). The terms have been divided into sections so the agreement is well manageable for the users of the platform. What to include in the document? Essentially, such information as general terms of use, payments, taxes and refunds or membership programs. Here’s the ulimate list of 8 Must-Haves for Terms of Service in your online business.

6. The same applies to privacy policy. Especially nowadays, with all that buzz around privacy, people are very careful about providing their personal data. It is extremely important you provide them with the full understanding of where this data goes. Notify your customers about the type of information you may collect and what exactly you share and with whom you share it. Be transparent. Here you can find 8 good practices for privacy policy in your online business.

7. Think of preparing a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) zone. Take the example from Zappos which divided the zone into three meaningful sections. Also take a look at PayLane’s Support Page.

8. Ensure your company and your brand are well known for trustworthiness. Should you have any certificates, licenses or testimonials, show them on your website to the rest of the world. Build credibility from day number one. Check HERE how you can obtain the Verified Merchant status from PayLane.

9. Last but not least, be reachable! Provide the exact name of your company, contact details and time frames within which the customers may contact you. If you use social media to stay in touch with your customers, provide the specific link. Think of creating a chatroom and make sure to be available during office hours. In general, be easy to find. Here’s a good article about that: What Kind of Support Channels Should You Handle in Your Online Business?

To sum up, turning potential customers into your customers, and why not, faithful ones, is not an easy task to do. Although, if you prepare a solid action plan based on the above, you may be positively surprised with the results. Keep in touch with your customers. Support them during the whole process, not only in the beginning. Do not make mistakes. Deliver on time. Keep your promises. Make your employees be your brand ambassadors, too. Stand out from the crowds, go beyond regular, show your customers how much you care about them. If you show your customers loyalty, they will show you theirs. All your efforts will definitely pay off in the long term.

Special thanks for co-writing this post to Patrycja Bronk – fan of new technologies. Patrycja loves writing about things that inspire her. Passionate about project management and coaching. Brings the best out of the people from her entourage. Crazy traveler.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Encourage your children to take risks. Photograph: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

Encourage your children to take risks. Photograph: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

M odern parenting seems to be in trouble when it comes to managing the boundaries between the generations. In some households, Mum and Dad pretend to be their children’s “best friends”. They may even become fans of the same boy bands or share a tent at Glastonbury. They splash cash and offer 24-hour catering. It’s even rumoured that – if begged – they’ll do homework or pass their child’s exams. All of which indicates to me there’s a crisis in Parentland.

Not that this applies to you, although your sprog may soon be trogging off to college or Peru. September is the cruellest month for separation anxiety. And more often than not, it’s the parents who can’t bear the separation. We no longer feel we’re abandoning our children on campus but that they’ve abandoned us at home. And so we muddle the bounds, with a little help from technology.

En route from dropping them at uni, we text the darlings. Our messages are superficially comforting. Are they OK? Did we forget something? Have they got cash, cake and condoms? Will they be sure to Skype this evening? When shall we come for a visit? Do you want to put eight tickets for next year’s May ball on our credit card? If you’re at all homesick, for God’s sake call. Please let everyone know on Facebook that you’ve temporarily relocated – with the stress on temporarily – because we’re entering a major phase of complicated grief in a blind panic and we’re the ones who need the comforting!

In times past, children would probably have cut their apron strings sooner. My bid for freedom followed O-levels. At 16, I flounced out of my Cheshire home with a rucksack, a leaky umbrella and an indeterminate plan to become a Scottish crofter. I got as far as hitchhiking to Carlisle before the rain pelted down and nobody would give me a lift. When I phoned home, my dad just said: “Where are you? I’ll be there.” I’m grateful to this day that he didn’t try to humiliate me. Next time, I crossed the border and stayed. A year after, I hitched to Istanbul and back. No, I didn’t phone home; I was trusted to send the odd postcard.

The prevailing wisdom of my parents was that children need a pinch of risk as much as vitamins. (Without it, they will never learn a thing and probably turn into Howard Hughes, the once reckless aviator who ended his days encased in a latex tent with 22-inch fingernails.) I do speak about relative risk. I don’t hold with dumping your babies on mountains like the ancient Spartans to see if the wolves are partial to frozen steak.

Nor do I complain that after centuries of preferring horses to children, Britons have become more caring as parents and no longer stick minors up chimneys or birch their bums. I belong to an excellent charity called Children are Unbeatable, which is dedicated to ending the right of parents to commit common assault on their young. But there’s caring and caring.

Consider the case of the black-headed gull – a pest in some eyes – but probably a better parent than we humans . Mother bird simply locks the larder once junior can fly, having attained an adult size and weight. The rule is simple: “No more regurgitated mackerel for you, my pet, find your own!” Days will pass while outraged child prods her with the cry of “Gimme” like some stroppy teenager deprived of broadband. But the young bird adapts. It has to. The law of our animal kingdom says there’s a time to grow up. A time that we as social animals sometimes seem determined to push into middle age.

All parents “fail” in some sense. A noted shrink once told me: “A parent’s place is in the wrong.” No, I do not underestimate the challenges. But I do suggest that an overprotected child is a deprived one and if they find themselves in an arrested stage of development they should make a claim for psychological abuse.

There’s evidence that our brains don’t think objectively until at least the age of 25, so you could claim it doesn’t greatly matter if our offspring are unsure of themselves at twentysomething. But the evidence from history suggests that a sterner environment is perfectly capable of training this undeveloped brain into well-intended social action from the early teens, whether that activity is becoming the head of the household like a child in modern Bangkok or fighting the fascists in the last world war.

So when adolescents do depart, how can a helicopter parent come to terms with slowing their rotors and whirling less dervishly? First, you might take comfort from the fact that when your kids vanish, even though your heart is breaking, like an expensive boomerang they’ll be back. I promise you that.

“When the boy moves out,” we used to say, and I imply no lack of love for my youngest, “I can stop working weekends and we could repaint the entire flat.” “New rugs!” shouted my partner deliriously. It also occurred to us that not worrying about our womb fruit pleasuring his playmate with mixed grills, all-night movies and the spare mattress might in itself constitute a home improvement.

And so he left. Not yet 20 and gone to cohabit with his mischosen one on his grandfather’s minute legacy. I felt down but not distraught. We passed happy days refurbishing everything. The new carpets were as swish as an ice rink.

But at this moment, half a year on, our prodigal hit the financial rocks, reoccupied his old quarters and while finalising a work of art, mainly in the bathroom sink, succeeded in scattering indelible pink ink from a leaky Tesco bag into the centre of the virgin Axminster.

Second, and far more importantly, separation is good and essential for you both. It’s truistic to state that children need to become independent decision-makers who learn from their own mistakes and failures. Otherwise, how will they manage to put your affairs in order on the day you die? Since you cannot promise to live forever, you have to learn to let them go.

But for your own sake (and to follow up this idea scan the works of the brilliant psychologist Erik Erikson) you need to deal with the “tasks” of your very different stage of life.

These do not include getting down on the dancefloor with the kids but facing up to the fact that, as a parent, you are becoming unemployed and are confronted by a void of bereavement that you must confront. For as long as you cling to your children like a lifebelt, you will cease to grow up.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

College is hard. Receiving poor grades that you don’t feel you deserve? That’s even harder. Luckily for you, we have some helpful tips from students that have been in the same situation as you. Keep reading for tips on how to politely ask your professor to change your grade, and good luck!

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Welcome to How To Change Your Grade 101!

Welcome to SOCIETY19’s edition of “How To Change Your Grade 101″. First of all, this isn’t a tough class. It’s all about common courtesy and common sense. Professors put their name, email, office hours, telephone number, etc., on their syllabus for the very reason of making it more convenient for students to reach out to them.

Scheduling a face-to-face meeting with your professor is a smart idea, especially if questions cannot be answered through a simple email or in limited class time. You can email your professor initially, however, if you it is the only way to contact them.

Most of the questions a student asks can be answered through one of two ways: First, the syllabus. (Yes, READ IT.) Second, via email. This is more of an “Emailing your Professor 101” kind of story.

Let’s look at an example below!

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Example of how to ask your professor to change your grade via email:

SUBJECT: College Writing II – Issue with Grading

Hello, I am a sophomore in your class, ENG 21011 – College Writing II. I am emailing you because I am having difficulty understanding the grade posted on Blackboard earlier today. The grade for assignment “Research Highlights” reads that I received a 15 out of 25. I do not feel this reflects my ability to perform in your class, as I am sure I met all of the assignment’s requirements. If I can do anything to change this grade, please let me know.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Include what class you’re in in your subject line.

Let’s review. It is recommended that the subject line contain not only a title summary of what the email is about, but also should include which class the student is in. This lets your professor know, “Hey, I’m not spamming you.”

Refer to your instructor as Professor, Doctor, etc., unless given permission otherwise.

Unless stated otherwise on the syllabus, stay safe with how you address your professor by using “Dear Professor…” or simply, “Dear Prof.”

Overall, the email should be short, sweet, and to the point.

Overall, the email should be pretty direct and to the point. Avoid fluffy language and extensive vocabulary. The professor is either just as or busier than the student. It may seem like a polite thing to say, “How are you?” or “I hope you are having a nice day.” And it is. Sometimes it just depends on the type of professor. This is an optional inclusion to show that you respect your professor for his time and his willingness to help.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Keep the introduction brief.

No need for your name, because you will sign your email at the bottom anyway. Include the first five-digit numerical code for the class, because this also helps the professor pinpoint which class he teaches. You may also want to include the days and time the class meets.

Then, jump right into why you are reaching out to the professor. This could be about anything: a misunderstood grade, you missed a class and need the notes (in this case, the professor likely will tell you to email a classmate), a need for an explanation of the essay rubric, or maybe you would like him to revise your thesis statement.

by Kayalvizhi Arivalan | June 28, 2022, 16:25 IST

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Talking about periods with boys is becoming a necessary part of parenting. It may appear awkward at first, but it is critical to open all channels of communication and make them feel comfortable enough to discuss periods, as well as to help them understand that periods are natural, healthy, and nothing to be ashamed of. Dr. Manju Gupta, Senior Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, Motherhood Hospital, Noida, shares some advice on how to talk to your son about puberty and help him understand what periods are like for women.

When Should I Discuss Periods with My Son?

At a certain age, talking about periods shouldn’t be a huge deal. Your youngster needs accurate period information. You may gradually give your youngster more information as he matures. You can bring it up if your son doesn’t have any queries regarding periods. Most children can comprehend the basics of periods by the age of six or seven. Find a natural time to talk about it, like when your child asks about puberty or how their bodies change, when your child asks where babies come from, or when you’re at the store buying pads or tampons.

Inquire whether your youngster is aware of the concept of periods. Then you may share basic facts with them, such as: As a girl matures into a woman, her body changes to allow her to bear a child when she is older. Part of the process is preparing a space for the baby to develop inside the mother. The uterus is the location where a baby develops. The uterine wall prepares for a baby every month. The uterine wall falls off and bleeds a bit if there is no baby. Blood is ejected from a woman’s vaginal opening. Every month, the body builds a new wall in case there is a baby.

What Should I Talk About?

Introduce your son to the kinds of products a girl could use during her periods, such as pads, tampons, period trousers, and menstrual cups, as part of your puberty discussion. Take him through the “period product” aisle when you are shopping to lessen any uneasiness he may be feeling, then ask him to put goods away when you return home. Unwrap some of the goods and explain how they function. How a girl might feel before her period, like cramps, headaches, and bloating, is an important part of how you explain puberty to your son.

Tell him that a girl’s sensitivity may increase in the days leading up to her period and that he shouldn’t take it personally — it might just be her shifting hormones. Explain how vital it is for boys and girls to support and be aware of each other’s feelings as they go through puberty.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Remember These While Discussing Puberty With Your Son:

Be succinct and straightforward.

If he doesn’t know what words like ‘uterus’ and ‘vagina’ mean, make sure you explain them to him with appropriate terms.

Use euphemisms sparingly.

While you may need to clarify any slang phrases he’s heard, such as “on the rag” and “Aunt Flo,” use proper vocabulary to avoid reinforcing the notion that periods should be concealed or embarrassed of.

Do promote empathy.

Instead of remarking on it to his mates, talk to him about having a quiet chat with a female to let her know if it’s leaked on her skirt.

Allowing him to tease girls is not a good idea.

Explain that making period jokes or taunting a girl because she has pads or tampons in her purse is not a polite way to act and can make her angry.

Maintain an optimistic attitude.

Avoid using any terminology that can mistakenly make menstruation appear bad or unclean.

Don’t try to avoid answering questions.

Don’t ignore him if he asks a question when you’re busy or if you don’t know the answer. Respond to the best of your ability and, if required, return to it later.

The more knowledge children have about their bodies, the more equipped they are to make good, healthy decisions. Ascertain that your children receive accurate information from you or another credible source.

Catherine is the go to personal finance expert for educated, aspirational moms who want to recapture their life passions. Read full profile

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

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Everyone always says, “Follow your dreams!” But not everyone does it.

Life interjects, bills pile up, and sometimes we have to do jobs we don’t want to do just to make it through the day. However, there are a number of reasons to follow your dreams, to break the trend, and to live the life you’ve always wanted. Why follow your dreams? Here’s what pursuing your dreams does:

1. They make life worth living.

Your dreams are what can get you through even the worst days. If you are struggling, your dreams are your reason to keep going.

They are why you wake up in the morning and try again. They are what makes your entire life worth living.

Without our dreams, we are nothing.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

2. You’ll meet other dream seekers.

When you are motivated and excited about pursuing your dreams, you’ll attract other people who have the same values and interests.

The more you surround yourself with high achievers, the further you’ll go. Then, when times get tough, and it’s hard to keep going, your friends will motivate you to continue achieving.

3. You can be an inspiration to others.

If you decide to go and pursue your dreams, you will give hope to others who want to do the same.

You can serve as their example and their reason why they should give it a try. You can help them, coach them, and encourage them to keep going.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

4. You can provide for your family.

When you are this motivated, it’s very hard to fail.

If you are very set on your dreams, and you make sure that you can make an income along the way, you’ll be able to provide for your family.

Some dreams take longer than others to achieve, but that’s what makes the end goal so worth it.

5. Working in a job you hate makes the days go slowly.

Why should you work in a job you hate? You’ll count the clock, you won’t do as well, and you’ll dread waking up in the morning.

Instead, pursue your dreams! Get excited about your day, and enjoy the process of doing what you love.

6. Because no one is going to follow them for you.

Let’s face it: no one else is going to pursue your dreams for you.

Everyone has their own dreams and their own goals for what they want to achieve in life. If you don’t go for it, no one else will.

7. So that you can finally be happy.

Life without dreams is depressing. Nancy’s story is a proof.

Search far and wide for yours, and make a promise to yourself that you will start pursuing them.

Once you get on the path towards your goal, you will notice a distinct change in how you feel.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

8. To prove them wrong.

All of us have been around people who told us our dreams weren’t possible. Let that add fuel to your fire.

Think about all the people who said it would never happen, and go out and prove them wrong.

9. It will make your parents proud.

Sometimes parents don’t always understand our dreams or they try to sway us towards a particular one.

However, if you are adamant about your dreams, and you work hard to achieve them, your parents have no reason not to be proud of you.

10. It will make YOU proud.

Even better than making your parents proud, you will be proud of yourself!

Your confidence will rise, and you’ll enjoy the excitement and the adrenaline that comes with doing something you’ve always wanted to do.

11. You only live once.

Life is short. Our days are numbered, so why spend them doing something we don’t love? It’s time to make a decision to go for it.

Dream big. Focus on your dreams. Make your dreams happen.

How Parents Can Start to Reconcile with Estranged Kids

In his latest guest blog post, psychologist Joshua Coleman explains that to repair a relationship with estranged children, parents today need to make the first move.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Psychologist and author Joshua Coleman is an internationally recognized expert on parenting and marriage, among other topics. In his last post, Dr. Coleman explored the roots of conflicts between parents and their adult children.

Today he continues his series on parent-child conflict by explaining how parents can start to repair a damaged relationship with their child.

My clinical experience has shown me that while parents are not always directly to blame for an estrangement or ongoing conflict with their children, typically they are the ones who have to initiate repairing the relationship.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

I realize that this can often seem like a tall order; indeed, getting parents to take the lead is not always an easy task. This is because most parents feel like they have invested a lot in their children and shouldn’t have to go hat-in-hand to try to get their child back into their lives. Plus, it’s hard for many parents to hear how they may have let their children down, let alone admit to those shortcomings. In addition, some adult children keep the door so tightly closed that the parent must face ongoing rejection and even abuse if he or she tries to reach out. Under those conditions, many parents will feel tempted to give up.

But for those parents out there who haven’t given up, you should know that it’s hard to get very far in a parent-child reconciliation without honestly acknowledging the ways you may have contributed (or continue to contribute) to the difficulties between you and your child. It isn’t a cure-all—you may be facing problems bigger than the both of you: your child may have a mental illness, or is married to a troubled or possessive spouse; you may have to deal with an ex who wants to perpetuate the conflict between you and your child; or your child may need to blame you so that they don’t blame themselves for the way that their life turned out. What’s more, your own childhood history may have worn thin the skin you need to withstand your child’s complaints long enough to cobble together a healthy response to them.

But you have to start by trying to understand why your child feels the way they do about you—not because you deserve a proportionate punishment for your mistakes (real or perceived) but as an act of parenting, one that recognizes the changing nature of parent-child relations today.

To explain what I mean by this, consider my last post, where I talked about the ways that parenting has changed in the past century and how those changes have affected parent-adult child relations today. One of these changes is that parents now want and expect a closer relationship with their adult children.

Yet a recent study found that overall, parents in the U.S. report more conflict with their adult children than parents in other countries. The study compared the U.S. with Israel, Spain, Germany, and the U.K. and found that the relationship between adult children and their aging parents were the most “disharmonious” in the U.S.

A key reason for this is the highly individualistic nature of family relations in the U.S. While there are many cultural, economic, and institutional forces that organize family life, the primary determinant for whether family members remain close in the U.S. is based on how the relationship makes the individuals within those relationships feel.

Something similar has been happening with marriage. More than any other country, couples in the U.S. decide to get married or divorced based on whether or not their spouse is a good romantic partner. Staying in an unromantic or unfulfilling marriage is not only considered a waste of time, with or without children, but an act of existential cowardice. As sociologist and Council on Contemporary Families member Andrew Cherlin observes in his book, The Marriage Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today, Americans marry, divorce, remarry, and re-partner far more than individuals in any other industrialized country.

In the same way that couples decide to stay or leave romantic relationships based on whether the relationship is fulfilling, many adult children are now deciding whether to stay connected to their parents based largely on their evaluation of how rewarding their relationship was with them in the past or remains in the present. And since these are the criteria by which parents are judged today, parents are wise to pay attention to them if they seek a better relationship with their adult children.

This requires that parents recognize the “separate realities” nature of family life. That is, a parent can reasonably believe that she or he did a good job as a parent—and their child may reasonably wish they had done something quite different. In romantic relationships, there’s typically at least a kernel of truth in our partner’s complaints about us. The same goes for our children’s.

With Ask to Buy, you can give kids the freedom to make their own choices while still controlling their spending.

How Ask to Buy works

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

With Ask to Buy, when kids want to buy or download a new item, they send a request to the family organizer. The family organizer can use their own device to approve or decline the request. For example, if a child wants to buy an app, the family organizer can see the app and decide whether to allow it.

If the family organizer approves the request and completes the purchase, the item automatically downloads to the child’s device. If the family organizer declines the request, no purchase or download will take place. If a child redownloads a purchase, downloads a shared purchase, installs an update, or uses a redemption code, the family organizer won’t receive a request.

Who can use Ask to Buy

Families can use Ask to Buy after they set up Family Sharing. The family organizer can turn on Ask to Buy for any family member who isn’t an adult. It’s on by default for any children under 13. You’ll be asked to set up Ask to Buy when you invite anyone under 18 to your family group. 1

If a family member turns 18 and the family organizer turns off Ask to Buy, the family organizer can’t turn it on again.

How to turn on or turn off Ask to Buy

If you’re a parent or guardian, use your own device to turn on or turn off Ask to Buy.

On your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch

  1. Open the Settings app.
  2. Tap your name.
  3. Tap Family Sharing.
  4. Tap Ask to Buy.
    How to convince your parents to let you stay up later
  5. Tap your family member’s name.
  6. Use the toggle to turn on or turn off Ask to Buy.

On your Mac

  1. Choose Apple menu  > System Preferences, then click Family Sharing.
  2. Click Ask to Buy in the sidebar.
  3. Select or deselect the checkbox next to the child’s name.

On your Mac with macOS Mojave or earlier

  1. Choose Apple menu  > System Preferences.
  2. Then click iCloud.
  3. Click Manage Family and select your family member’s name.
  4. Select Ask to Buy.

How to approve or decline a request

If you’re the family organizer, use your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Apple Watch, or Mac to approve or decline a request.

  1. Open the notification to see the item that your family member wants to get. Can’t find your Ask to Buy notifications?
  2. Approve or decline the purchase.
    How to convince your parents to let you stay up later
  3. If you approve, sign in with your Apple ID and password to make the purchase.

What happens next

After the item is purchased, it’s added to your child’s account. 2 If you turned on purchase sharing, the item is also shared with the rest of the family group.

If you decline a request, your child receives a notification that you declined the request. If you dismiss the request or don’t make the purchase, the child will need to make the request again. Requests that you decline or dismiss are deleted after 24 hours.

Where to find your Ask to Buy requests

If you miss an Ask to Buy notification, you can find the request in Notification Center on your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Apple Watch, or Mac.

How to choose another approver

The family organizer can give another parent or guardian in the group over the age of 18 permission to manage Ask to Buy requests. Only one adult needs to manage each purchase, and after it’s done, the purchase is final.

On your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch

  1. Go to Settings.
  2. Tap your name.
  3. Tap Family Sharing, then tap your family member’s name.
  4. Tap Role.
  5. Tap Parent/Guardian.

On your Mac

  1. Choose Apple menu  > System Preferences, then click Family Sharing.
  2. Click Family Sharing in the sidebar.
  3. Click Details next to the family member’s name.
  4. Click Edit, then select Parent/Guardian.

On your Mac with macOS Mojave or earlier

  1. Choose Apple menu  > System Preferences.
  2. Click iCloud, then select your family member.
  3. Select Parent/Guardian.

How children or teens can make a request with Ask to Buy

  1. To buy or download an item, tap the price or Get button. Or if you’re using an Apple Watch, double-click the side button, then enter your passcode.
  2. If asked, enter your Apple ID and password.
  3. Tap Ask. If your parent or guardian is nearby, you can tap “approve it in person” and they can approve the purchase directly from your device.
    How to convince your parents to let you stay up later
  4. After your parent or guardian buys the item, it downloads to your device automatically. 2

Ask to Buy doesn’t apply to apps or content from school

If a child’s account was created using Apple ID for Students, the child can use Ask to Buy for personal purchases outside of the educational institution. It won’t apply to any apps or other content distributed by the school.

1. Age varies by country or region.

2. In South Korea, a child might be asked to verify their age after an Ask to Buy request is approved. Learn about age verification in South Korea.

Between school, peer pressure, sports, friends, and hormones, teens have a lot on their plates. On top of all that, research shows that many of them are constantly sleep deprived, which is bad news for their physical and mental health.

It may seem like your teen is wired to stay up late every night and, in fact, that’s partially true. But you can still encourage a sleep routine that works with their daily schedule and make sure they are following a few simple rules for restful nights. Here’s how to do it and why it really matters.

Why Teens Can’t Sleep

If your teenager wants to stay up late, there may be a biological reason for it. Children’s internal clocks, called circadian rhythms, shift slightly around the time they go through puberty, says Judith Owens, MD, MPH, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital. Their brains don’t start making melatonin, a hormone that helps us fall asleep, until later in the evening.

On top of that, teens have a slower sleep drive than young children, which means they stay awake longer, even when they’re sleep deprived. “It is harder for them to naturally fall asleep much before 11 at night,” Owens says.

They also spend too much time with electronic devices like cell phones and tablets, says Cora Breuner, MD, chair of the Committee on Adolescence for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

At night, the light from these screens can interfere with the brain’s melatonin production. Plus, activities like texting and playing video games keeps kids alert. “It’s impossible for them to wind down when they have so much going on right at their fingertips,” Breuner says.

But They Still Need Plenty of Sleep

Teenagers need at least 8 hours of sleep a night. “And some teens actually need 10 hours, especially if they’re particularly busy and physically active throughout the day,” Breuner says.

Unfortunately, most of them don’t get that much. In one survey, 75% of 12th graders said they got less than 8 hours of sleep a night — and only 3% got 9 hours or more. That can be dangerous.

Continued

“Teenagers brains aren’t fully developed yet, and they already might not be making the smartest choices when it comes to high-risk behaviors,” Breuner says. “When you add fatigue on top of that, it gets worse.” For example, they may be more likely to run red lights while driving or gulp down energy drinks to stay awake.

Sleep-deprived teens have a higher risk for depression and mood swings, and they can have trouble focusing in school. They can also mistake sleepiness for hunger, which could cause them to overeat or choose fatty, sugary foods over healthy ones.

What You Can Do

Even though your teen is becoming an independent adult, you should still monitor their sleep schedule, Owens says. “Parents can set limits on their child’s activities and be a good role model in terms of making sleep a priority,” she says. A few things you can try:

  • Collect devices at night. Keep a basket in a common area of your home where all family members place their smartphones, tablets, and the like at 9:30 every night. “Kids might push back and say they need to communicate with their friends, but parents need to put their foot down and say ‘No’,” Breuner says. If you set a good example by also doing this with your own phone, she says, your kids may be less likely to complain.
  • Don’t let sleep slide. If your teens are involved in sports, work, and school projects, it can seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. But staying up late to finish homework can do more harm than good, Owens says. Instead, teach your kids time management skills so they can get everything done during the day. If they’re still over-scheduled, it might be time to think about dropping an activity or to talk with their teachers about the problem.
  • Work backward from school’s start time. Many school districts around the country are beginning to shift their start times later, thanks to a 2014 recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics. But no matter when your teen’s day starts, it’s important to plan for enough sleep. “If they have to be up at 5:30 to catch the 6:00 bus, they should probably be in bed right at 9:30,” Breuner says. “That means you start getting ready — make sure homework’s done, dinner’s eaten, clothes are laid out for the next day — starting at least an hour before that.”
  • Cut their caffeine. Soda is not the only source of caffeine in teens’ diets today. They also drink more energy drinks and coffee than ever before. “And parents don’t realize how much caffeine is in things like green tea or some sports drinks,” Breuner says. Teens should have enough energy to get through the day without relying on caffeine. If they don’t, they need more sleep, not an artificial buzz.

Sources

American Academy of Pediatrics.

Judith Owens, MD, MPH, director, Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders, Boston Children’s Hospital; associate professor of neurology, Harvard Medical School.

Cora Breuner, MD, MPH, chair, Committee on Adolescence, American Academy of Pediatrics; member, division of adolescent medicine, Seattle Children’s Hospital; member, orthopedics and sports medicine department, Seattle Children’s Hospital; professor, pediatrics, University of Washington School of Medicine; adjunct professor, orthopedics, University of Washington School of Medicine.

Crowley, S. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, published online Aug. 24, 2015.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Parents picking up their children late is a common problem for family child care providers.

Your pick-up time is 6pm and a parent shows up late several times a month. Another parent always arrives before 6pm, but often doesn’t leave your home until 6:20pm.

You work long hours caring for children – an average of eleven hours a day, according to several national surveys. It can be frustrating to deal with parents who want even more of your time.

What can you do to address this issue?

First, make sure your written contract states the specific times when parents are expected to drop off and pick up their children. The pick-up time can be different from one family to the next.

Second, state the consequences if a parent doesn’t pick up her child on time. Most providers charge a late fee. Here are some examples:

* Parents who notifies provider at least 2 hours before pick-up time that they will be late will not be charged a late fee.

* Parents who are late picking up their children once or twice in a month will not be charged a late fee. Parents will pay a late fee if they are late more often than this.

* Parents are given a fifteen minute grace period and then are charged $.50/$1.00 per minute. (You could charge $.50 or $1-a-minute for early drop offs.)

* Parents are charged $1 a minute late fee if they pick up after the scheduled pick up time.

In a workshop of mine a provider once said, “My contract states that if you are ever late picking up your child, you will be immediately terminated.” That’s strict! It worked for her, but I wouldn’t recommend this rule to anyone else.

Time versus Money

Before deciding on your late pick up rule, consider this question: What is more important to you – your time or the parent’s money?

If your time is more important, this means you don’t want to work after your scheduled pickup time of 6pm. It doesn’t matter how much money parents might pay you to be late, because you want to do other things with your time. Therefore, set a high late fee to ensure parents won’t be late.

At one workshop a provider said she charged $50 a half hour late fee. However, her complaint was that one parent kept paying it! Since this fee wasn’t deterring the parent from being late, I told her to raise her late fee for this parent. (You can have different late fees for different parents.)

If the parent’s money is more important to you, this means you wouldn’t mind working after 6pm if you were paid enough. If parents paid you $1-a-minute late fee, you could earn $30 for a half hour of work. This is a lot more than you are making per hour before 6pm.

However, most providers tell me that parents aren’t consistently late if they have to pay $1-a-minute late fee. Therefore, you might want to set a lower late fee to make it more affordable! If you charged $.50 a minute, you would be earning $15 a half hour which is still a good wage. At the lower rate, more parents might not mind paying it, and you can earn some extra money.

One provider came up with a perfect solution in dealing with late fees. She said that late fees created tension and stress between her and her parents because they were associated with guilt and blame. Since she was willing to work a half hour after her pick up time of 6pm, she announced to her parents that if they picked up between 6pm and 6:30pm, they would be charged an “evening rate” of $1 a minute.

No more late fees, because parents aren’t late. No more stress because parents didn’t have to rush to her home. It worked for the provider as well because she didn’t mind working an extra half hour and being well paid for her time.

In the end, it’s up to you to set your rules regarding late pick ups and enforce them. You can ask the parent to pay the late fee at the time they are late, by the next morning, or add the fees onto their next regular payment.

Here’s a good discussion about this on Daycare.com.

How do you handle late pick ups?

Tom Copeland – www.tomcopelandblog.com

Image credit: https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-qsydt

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later For more information about contracts, see my book Family Child Care Contracts & Policies.

Themes covered

What’s inside this article

  • Understanding the problem
  • Embrace a long-term vision
  • What you can do now

Each week I receive a number of calls from parents who are concerned about their adult children. Most want to know what they can do to help. After they describe the situation, I suggest they continue to pray.

Often the parent replies, “Well, I do that, but what else can I do?”

“Nothing,” I respond.

The ensuing silence is deafening. Most parents don’t want to believe there is nothing they can do to straighten out their adult children. I think God must have felt the same way; His radical solution was to send His Son.

One mother asked me how she could motivate her 23-year-old son to finish school. He lived at home, was sullen and uncommunicative, didn’t work, didn’t help around the house, slept all day and was on the computer or out most of the night. This young man had it made. He was living on easy street while his parents were pulling out their hair trying to “motivate” him. They had just bought him a car because he had convinced them he needed one so he could job hunt. His mother was cutting out job ads and strategically placing them in his room. If you want to motivate him, I suggested, give him a month to find another place to live and mean it. At some level this mother knew it was the right thing but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Understanding the problem

What‘s the problem here? It seems obvious unless we’re talking about our own adult child. This young man has never learned how to take care of himself. He’s never had to because his parents treat him like a child – and so he remains one. If parents want their children to become mature adults they need to let them embrace life, make decisions and face the consequences of those decisions. Even when it seems guaranteed the child is heading for disaster, parents have to step back, watch and pray.

Parents who treat their adult children like younger children they are, in effect, saying “I don’t believe you can look after yourself, so I’ll do it.” The message is “we don’t trust you to run your own life.”

Ultimately, parents want adult children who have godly character. When we try to protect our adult children from suffering, we undermine and cripple them, because it’s through suffering that God shapes our character. God has given us free will. He watches us all make some horrendous decisions, but doesn’t prevent the consequences because He knows that’s how we learn and grow. It’s also how we come to depend on Him more and more. We can do no less with our own children than God does with us.

Embrace a long-term vision

Parents were once the centre of their child’s life. How quickly that changes! But it’s so important that parents adjust to this change. Parents must embrace a long-term vision that guides them in their decisions that will help, not thwart, their child’s development into the mature, God-loving person that God created them to be. Part of that vision is letting the child make their own age-appropriate decisions and allowing them to face the consequences. At some point, parents must let go of their children entirely. They must completely entrust them to the Lord – which is much easier said than done. It goes against every instinct a parent has.

Most parents I speak with begin to understand how they have enabled their children to stay irresponsible. Our conversations then turn to the parent’s next steps. How do they let go? Mothers seem to struggle with this more than fathers. Fathers often are more willing to take a “tough love” approach sooner than mothers. But tough love is necessary if we want to give our adult children the best chance of making a go of life. Hopefully, we won’t wait until they are adults, but it’s never too late.

What you can do now

I suggest that parents tell their adult children how much they love them, believe in them and know they are capable of handling life with all its inherent risks, failures and successes. Let the adult kids know you’re making some changes. No more suggestions, advice or lectures. Just listen to them, let them know you understand and that you believe they will eventually sort it out.

In the end we don’t know what anyone else should or shouldn’t do, even our adult children. We certainly know what we would do, but we don’t know what is best for someone else, or what God has in store.

One mother asked, “What if something terrible happens?”

Something terrible might happen, or it might not. There are no guarantees. Christ tells us we will have trouble in this world. We cannot prevent our children from suffering, but we can teach them how to deal with it in a godly way. Life is not easy but we know that Christ will be with us no matter what. Can you entrust back to God those He has entrusted to you?

If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources below.

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How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

In an ideal world, you’d have a perfect amount of work to fill your day. But let’s be real: The odds that you’ll just show up and be met with the exact right number of tasks are slim. It’s a lot more likely that you’ll (at least at times) feel overwhelmed, underutilized, or downright bored.

To make the leap to a project list that fits your work flow, you’ll need to have a conversation with your boss. She may be too busy to notice the signs you assume are obvious (like an 11 PM timestamp on your email), or she may think it’s working for you (because you’ve never told her otherwise and she’s not a mind reader).

So, schedule a time to have a chat and clue her in to what’s really going on. Open communication is the first (read: essential) step toward finding a solution.

1. When You Have Too Much to Do

It’s great that your manager has faith in your abilities, but even on your most productive day after implementing every tip, trick, app, and hack you can find, you’re still drowning in work. I remember crying through my lunch break for an entire week at my first job, because I didn’t know how I was going to get everything done and I thought if I told my boss, he’d regret having hired me.

Well, I had the conversation with him, and instead of realizing my worst fears, it led to us bringing on an intern so I could get some help. Remember, everyone has busier than usual weeks, and some people always look stressed; so unless you tell your manager that this is not fleeting and not your typical expression, he has no way of knowing.

What to Say

The conversation can be intimidating, because you don’t want your supervisor to think that you’re inefficient or not up to doing your job. So, don’t simply say, “I can’t do X,” “I don’t have to time to pitch in on Y,” or “I’ve forgotten what my apartment looks like.” Instead, ask to discuss your overall workload and then walk your supervisor through how long various projects actually take, and any sticking points you’ve identified.

It’s important to think up a few solutions before your meeting (beyond wanting to leave on time). Would you benefit from turning a solo project into a group effort? Is there some technical glitch or outdated procedure that makes a regular task take way longer than it should? Focus on what you can do—on suggestions and innovations—and your boss will be much more receptive to the part of the discussion where you discuss pushing off lower priority tasks.

2. When You Have Too Little to Do

When I was fellowship program manager, one of the questions we’d ask applicants was “What would you do if you didn’t have enough work?” Before they answered, a look often flashed over their face, which seemed to say: Wait, that’s a real problem in the workplace?

It is, and it’s terrible. (Just ask the person who sent me an email a couple of months into her position that said she didn’t know how many more hours she could spend on GChat each day.) Think about it: You spend all that time job searching to find something worthwhile; and then, feeling like you’re doing nothing is demoralizing. Not to mention, if you’re not really doing anything, you know you’re replaceable.

What to Say

Obviously, this is a delicate conversation—especially if you could’ve mentioned all your free time a bit sooner. The trick here is to be honest (but not to put too fine a point on how many hours you’ve spent window shopping on your phone). You want your boss to be impressed with your transparency and your desire to do more.

Again, you’ll want to come armed with ideas. Have you noticed areas that seemed short-staffed? Can you dream up some projects that fit within company goals? Would it make sense for you to spend time on other teams?

Additionally, don’t leave without asking your boss if there’s anywhere she could use extra help. You could go from an underutilized member of the team to MVP.

3. When You Have an Issue With Quality, Not Quantity

Sometimes, you have enough work to stay busy—but it all feels like busy work. Perhaps you feel like you’re always the one asked to handle things that just crop up. Or, maybe your workload made sense a year ago, but now you’d like to be challenged and try something new.

Sure, it’s scary to admit that you’re not really into what you’re doing, and of course, everyone has to accept some grunt work. But a good boss will appreciate you bringing up your desire to grow and be challenged. It shows that you’d rather advance where you are than go elsewhere to develop professionally.

What to Say

Telling your manager you’re interested in new, different projects is a start. But to have a really successful conversation, you’ll want to have thought through what sorts of skills you’d like to be using or developing. Would like more tasks that’ll help you build certain hard or soft skills? Do you want to be trained for management? Would you feel more engaged if you had more interaction with your colleagues?

When you express what sorts of opportunities you’re looking for, you give your boss a framework to consider changes to your role. And, even if he can’t change things up right now, he might be able to tell you about interesting opportunities in the pipeline (and how you can prepare to be the internal candidate).

You can often make a lot of progress on issues with your workload by broaching the subject with your boss. It’ll likely take more than one conversation, so you’ll want to ask to schedule follow-up meetings to check in on how it’s going. Just knowing you two are on the same page can be heartening. And, worst-case scenario, if your boss isn’t receptive, it’s better to know that sooner rather than later.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Every day we make dozens of little choices that either benefit us by asserting our ideas or diminish us because we hesitate in making our views or desires known.

Sometimes it seems easier to go with the flow to avoid potential conflict. But the truth is that letting people walk all over you can increase feelings of stress and anxiety, and it might eventually lessen your feelings of self-worth and play to your insecurities.

Learning to stand up for yourself will help you take charge of your life, believe in your own power and embolden you to reach for your dreams. The stronger you feel, the stronger you will become.

Learn to stand up for yourself in any situation with these 10 simple yet powerful steps.

1. Practice being transparent and authentic.

It might be difficult at times, but if you learn to express yourself openly and honestly, it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. So often, we hide behind a halfhearted smile and nod instead of saying what we think. It takes practice, but learning to be authentic and open about what you are feeling or thinking is the first step. Once you get in the habit of making yourself heard without being overly accommodating or defensive, people will be more open to hearing you.

2. Take small but powerful steps.

If you are struggling with being assertive, start taking small steps to stand up for yourself. Even just learning to walk more confidently—head held high, shoulders back—will help you appear and feel more confident. Channel that confidence when dealing with others. This attitude can apply to all areas of your life. Feeling annoyed at the person who cut in front of you at Starbucks? Politely ask them to move to the back. See an unfair charge on a bill from one of your service providers? Call and dispute it.

3. When someone attacks, wait them out.

As you grow more confident in expressing yourself, you’re also going to have to learn to face those who want to override you. There will always be people whose personalities are set to attack mode. It’s important that you remain calm but assertive if you feel like someone is trying to bully you. Don’t allow yourself to get frazzled or react with low blows. Don’t cater to them or allow them to browbeat you either. Walk the high road but stand your ground.

4. Figure out what’s really bothering you.

Going with the flow for the purposes of not making waves actually creates more stress and anxiety for yourself. Of course, mustering the courage to face something or someone that is bothering you can feel scary. But facing the issue will empower you to make it better and diminishes the control it has over you. Remember, people can’t read your mind; if you don’t vocalize what is bothering you, no one will know.

5. Clarify first, without attacking.

It’s tempting to take a self-righteous stand, especially if you are sure you are in the right. From your viewpoint, you are justifiably defending yourself against someone who seems to be entirely in the wrong. But it’s important to resist the urge to react with emotion. Instead, take a breath and calmly explain your perspective to them. Avoid combative tones or accusatory words. Clarify exactly what you mean and listen to their response. Only then can a real discussion begin to take place.

6. Practice makes perfect.

Once you start getting the hang of what it means to stand up for yourself, it’s time to practice asking for what you want as often as possible. When someone says something you openly disagree with, or you feel pushed into doing something you don’t want to do, say something. Research shows that it takes 66 days to form a new habit, so stick with the new assertiveness for two months and you might be surprised by the results.

7. Be deliberate.

Here’s a situation that many of us have found ourselves in: sharing space with a messy co-worker or a roommate who is a slob. You might have remained silent while growing more aggravated at the situation. It might be tempting to slip into passive-aggressive behavior, such as angrily cleaning up the mess or making snide comments. Try being deliberate instead. Tell the person how you are feeling without being accusatory. Be straightforward with your concerns. Follow up with a simple suggestion that can correct the situation, such as: “If you can take a minute to tidy up your space at night, it would be a big help.”

8. Stand up for your time.

Time is a precious and limited commodity, and yet we often feel pressured to give it away when we have the ability to say no. There are times when you might not have a choice, such as when your boss says a project has high priority. But don’t let obligations dictate how you spend the hours of your day. You are in control of your own time. Push back when it’s appropriate, or tactfully disengage from those people or situations that submerge your schedule.

9. Recognize that no one can invalidate you.

You are in complete ownership of your feelings and actions. Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts and ideas belong to you, and no one else can tell you what you feel or invalidate your opinions. Likewise, if you seek to invalidate other people’s points of view, you are also sabotaging any chance for problem-solving or having an open discussion.

10. Fake it till you make it.

Learning to stand up for yourself won’t happen overnight. It takes time to grow comfortable with being assertive. While you are in the learning stage, it might help to imagine that you are an actor learning to play a new role.

Imagine that you are the most assertive person you know. How would they handle themselves in a difficult situation? There might be times when you swing from being overly zealous to being too indecisive. Learning to stand up for yourself is like riding a bike: Eventually, you will find the right balance.

This article was published in April 2017 and has been updated for accuracy and freshness.
Photo by Kinga/Shutterstock

Clinical Psychologist, Author and Radio Host

Our children are the lights of our lives. We all start off as parents envisioning nothing but success, love and happiness for them. However, these dreams often do not manifest because they are not getting the important things they need to become disciplined, mature and motivated adults. The following are eight parenting f*ck-ups that will guarantee your child will suffer from depression, anxiety, anger, tense family relationships, problems with friends, low self-esteem, a sense of entitlement and chronic emotional problems throughout his or her life.

1. Ignore or minimize your child’s feelings. If your child is expressing sadness, anger or fear and you mock them, humiliate them, ignore or tease them you minimize what they feel. You essentially tell them what they feel is wrong. When parents do this they withhold love from their child and miss opportunities to have open and vulnerable connections teaching them to bond and to know they are loved unconditionally.

2. Inconsistent rules. If you never talk about your expectations, you keep your child from knowing how to behave appropriately. Children live up or down to what you expect. Rules give them guidelines and boundaries to help them define who they are, good and bad. If you keep your child guessing and life is vague, they will begin to act out to find the boundaries themselves, which leads to low self-esteem and problem behavior.

3. Make your child your friend. Never share all your worries, concerns and relationship problems with your child or ask their advice. If you act helpless and defeated to your children they will never learn to respect you and will treat you as an equal or an inferior because you have used them for your own therapy. You must show your children you can stand up to problems, face your challenges and handle life through all the stress and come out on the other side. Be real, have your emotions, but do not burden your children.

4. Put down your child’s other parent. If you never show affection and love to your partner/spouse in front of your child, the child does not develop a barometer for what love is or what it looks like. If you are always putting your spouse down and rejecting him/her, threatening divorce, you create a chronic state of anxiety for your child. If you are already divorced and you remain cold, distant, bitter, angry and blaming of your ex-spouse, you are sending the subtle message to your child that your ex-spouse is the cause of the divorce and you need to be the preferred parent. This is parent alienation.

5. Punish independence and separation. When we punish our children for growing up, we make them feel guilty for having normal developmental needs and desires which often causes deep insecurity, rebellion, cutting and other forms of behaviors that indicate failure to be able to branch out and be themselves as independent people.

6. Treat your child as an extension of you. If, as a parent, you link your own image and self-worth to your child’s appearance, performance, behavior, grades and how many friends they have, you let them know they are loved not for who they are but for how well they perform and make you look good. This turns them into pleasers rather than doers, and they will always worry about being good enough.

7. Meddle in your child’s relationships. Directing every action your child takes in their relationships — from friends to teachers — inhibits their maturity. For example, if your child gets in trouble at school and you immediately rush to talk to the teacher to get them off the hook, or you are constantly telling your child how to be a friend, as your child grows he/she will never learn to navigate the sharper edges relationships bring on their own.

8. Over-protect. When we protect our children from every problem and emotion, it creates a sense of entitlement and inflated self-esteem that often crosses the line into narcissism. They expect life to be easier than it is. They want everything done for them no matter how they behave. They then become depressed and confused when they don’t get what they believe they deserve.

There are times when you will need to talk to parents about your academic concerns regarding their child. It’s important to understand how to approach and work with parents so that you can ensure a successful outcome for all involved.

When speaking to parents, teachers must realize that they are talking about a parent’s pride and joy. Do not attack their child. Instead, communicate politely about the areas of concern. At the same time, focus on the child’s positive attributes so that it does not seem like you are talking down on the child, but instead addressing concerns while giving positive feedback. Teachers need to work with parents as a team. It should not be one-sided. By working together, both sides can do their part in helping the child, and come up with ideas, strategies, and plans to implement in hopes of narrowing the concerns, and enabling an environment where the child can reach their full potential.

If you are a teacher, then you must have noticed how parents can be at times. They get really frustrating, and there’s no doubt that you may end up losing your temper. However, every teacher must know the ethics of working with parents. Most parents develop a certain level of animosity towards a teacher because of the way she acts with them. You wouldn’t want that because you both should be working for the sake of your students. Therefore it is important that a teacher knows the ‘how tos’ of working with parents to avoid complications.

Here are some tips for teachers to help them work with parents:

Be polite and patient

Some parents can’t tolerate criticism on their kids. Thus you may see them defending their kid in front you. Though it is a wrongful practice on a parent’s side, you can’t really stop it. What should you do then? You need to develop expressing your concerns without ruffling parents’ feathers. It is true that some children are extremely problematic, and with such parents, the problem gets worse. Yet you need to remain patient and polite while working with parents.

Focus on the positive attributes of their child

Even the mildest of parents won’t appreciate you complaining constantly about their kids. Some tips for teachers indicate that it is best to refer to some of their child’s good qualities and appreciate those. However, make sure to inform parents in an encouraging tone about the areas the child needs to work on.

Never talk in front of the child

It is not good to talk about the kid in front of him. Whether it’s about his virtues or vice, you shouldn’t do it! Appreciating the kid in front of his parents would make him pompous. On the other hand, complaining about him can discourage him.

Make sure parents know you have the situation under control At times, parents will visit you everyday to ask you about their kid. This type of parents will also keep on interfering and trying to guide you to do your work ‘better’. Don’t let this happen! Try to convince them that you can handle the kid but need your space to do that. Also avoid discussing your lesson plans with parents as they might have their suggestions or recommendations. You are the authority in your classroom, thus your lesson plans are based on what you think would benefit students.

Maintain secrecy to the child of your meetings with parents

Sometimes parents ask their kids about the teachers while the latter are right there. This gives some children the chance to come up with a number of complaints. Don’t let this embarrassing predicament happen as it will demotivate you to work with the child. You are only human, so your emotions may rule your judgment at times. Ask parents gently yet firmly to meet you without their children present.

Keep performance or teacher worksheets close by

Performance or teacher worksheets are all the proof you would need to show a child’s performance. Keep them close so that you can discuss your students’ problem when meeting their parents. Without teacher worksheets, you might be thinking of what to discuss without creating complications.

Guide parents

At times, a child faces trouble in concentrating on studies due to certain family problems. Parents would not appreciate you trying to guide them, but you should point out that your student is being affected by his parents’ personal issues.

Keep weekly meetings

Even if parents are coming to school everyday, avoid discussing things with them. Do that on a weekly basis or call them up whenever necessary.

Listen first, talk later

A very important tip that is very useful in this case. Never burst in front of parents. Instead, find out what complains they have and counter them. Once you’re done, you can point out what had not been discussed before.

Be motivating

Last but not the least, always keep a motivating attitude. Parents like a teacher who can offer them a glimmer of hope when it comes to their child’s weaknesses instead of demoralizing them.

What parents need to know about school reopening in the age of coronavirus.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

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Life during the COVID-19 pandemic is difficult for parents and children alike. The return to school is an important and hopefully welcome step, but you and your children likely have many questions. Here’s the latest information on what to expect and how you can support your young student.

When and how will schools be reopened?

We are slowly seeing an increasing number of children return to the classroom. More than 1 billion students are still out of school due to nationwide school closures. However, 105 of a total of 134 countries that have closed schools (78 per cent) have decided on a date to reopen schools. 59 of those 105 countries have already reopened schools or plan to open them soon. [As of late August 2020]

Given the difficulty of the situation and variation across the globe, countries are in different stages regarding how and when they plan to reopen schools. These decisions will usually be made by national or state governments, often in discussion with local authorities. When deciding whether to reopen schools, authorities should consider the benefits and risks across education, public health and socio-economic factors, in the local context. The best interest of every child should be at the centre of these decisions, using the best available evidence, but exactly how this will look will vary from school to school.

Is it safe for my child to go back to school?

Decisions on control measures in schools and school closures and openings should be consistent with decisions on other physical distancing and public health response measures within the community. Generally schools are not opening in countries as an isolated action, but as part as a number of actions related to opening back the country, such as reopening factories, public transport, commercial business.

It’s crucial that schools plan ahead and look at what additional measures they can put in place to help ensure students, teachers and other staff are safe when they return and communities are confident in sending their students back to school.

Going back to school will likely look a little different from what you and your child were used to before. It’s possible that schools may reopen for a period of time and then a decision may be made to close them again temporarily, depending on the local context. Because of the evolving situation, authorities will need to be flexible and ready to adapt to help keep every child safe.

What precautions should the school be taking to prevent COVID-19 virus from spreading?

School reopenings should be consistent with each country’s overall COVID-19 health response to help protect students, staff, teachers and their families. Some of the practical measures that schools can take include:

  • Staggering the start and close of the school day
  • Staggering mealtimes
  • Moving classes to temporary spaces or outdoors
  • Holding school in shifts, to reduce class size

Water and hygiene facilities will be a crucial part of schools reopening safely. Administrators should look at opportunities to improve hygiene measures, including handwashing, respiratory etiquette (i.e. coughing and sneezing into the elbow), physical distancing measures, cleaning procedures for facilities and safe food preparation practices. Administrative staff and teachers should also be trained on physical distancing and school hygiene practices.

What questions should I be asking my child’s teacher or school administrator?

During such a worrying and disruptive time, it’s natural to have a lot of questions. Some helpful ones you may want to ask include:

  • What steps has the school taken to help ensure the safety of students?
  • How will the school support the mental health of students and combat any stigma against people who have been sick?
  • How will the school refer children who may need referrals for specialized support?
  • Will any of the school’s safeguarding and bullying policies change once schools start to re-open?
  • How can I support school safety efforts, including through parent-teacher committees or other networks.

What should I do if my child has fallen behind?

Students around the world have shown just how much they want to keep learning. They have persisted with their lessons under difficult circumstances, with the support of their dedicated teachers and parents.

But many children will need extra support to catch up on their learning when schools reopen.

Many schools are making plans for catch-up lessons to help bring students back up to speed. This might include starting the year with refresher or remedial courses, after-school programmes or supplemental assignments to be done at home. Given the possibility that many schools may not open full time or for all grades, schools may implement ‘blended learning’ models, a mix of classroom instruction and remote education (self-study through take home exercises, radio, TV or online learning).

Give extra support to your child at home by creating a routine around school and schoolwork. This can help if they are feeling restless and having trouble focusing.

You may want to contact your child’s teacher or school to ask questions and stay informed. Be sure to let them know if your child is facing specific challenges, like grief over a family loss or heightened anxiety due to the pandemic.

What should I do if my child is struggling to get back into “school mode?”

Remember that your child will be dealing with the stress of the ongoing crisis differently from you. Create a supportive and nurturing environment and respond positively to questions and expressions of their feelings. Show support and let your child know that it’s not only okay, but normal, to feel frustrated or anxious at times like this.

Help your children to stick to their routines and make learning playful by incorporating it into everyday activities like cooking, family reading time or games. Another option could be joining a parent or community group to connect with other parents who are going through the same experience to share tips and get support.

UNICEF is working with governments to help support them in making these decisions. We teamed up with the World Health Organization, UNESCO and the World Bank to publish new guidelines on the reopening of schools, which are available here in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Portuguese and Spanish. These guidelines set out the questions that should be asked, and the steps that should be taken before, during and after schools reopen, to protect the safety of students, teachers, other staff and families.

This article was originally published on 03 June 2020. It was last updated on 24 August 2020.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Whether you’re newly separated or well-versed in co-parenting, you recognize the importance of sticking to your parenting agreement.

As important as it is to follow the plan you and your co-parent agreed upon or that was ordered by the court, it is possible for pitfalls to arise that interfere with your ability to follow it precisely.

One particular instance in which this can become challenging is if your child doesn’t want to comply with your visitation schedule and begins refusing to see their other parent.

While their desire not to see the other parent may be totally out of your control, the consequences of your child refusing to attend visitations could impact your whole family.

What Makes a Child Not Want to Visit A Parent?

The reasons as to why your child is refusing visitation with your co-parent are unique to your situation, but some causes might include:

  • Your child is unhappy with the rules they must follow at your co-parent’s house
  • Your co-parent lives far away from their friends, school, activities, and other things they enjoy
  • Your child and your co-parent disagree on a range of matters and frequently argue, straining their relationship
  • Your child does not get along with your co-parent’s new partner or other people living in their home

If your child is refusing visitation with your co-parent due to a reason that directly concerns their safety, bring this to the attention of your attorney or other legal professionals immediately.

If the reason does not directly impact their safety or well-being, your child should attend visitations. In fact, missing out on them could put your family in a tough legal position.

Legal Concerns for Refusing Visitation

No matter the reason for not wanting to see their other parent, custodial parents are responsible for making sure that their child sees their other parent.

Family law courts want to see co-parents working together to encourage their child to spend time with each parent. If the opposite is happening—even if it’s what the child wants—courts may not look as favorably upon the parent who appears to be preventing visitations.

Due to their visitation time being compromised, the other parent could file an Order to Show Cause. This would call for a “show cause hearing” with the court in which the custodial parent would be asked to explain or show cause as to why they are not complying with the visitation agreement.

Even as that parent does their best to explain to the judge why their child is resisting the visitation schedule, it’s the judge who will have to be convinced and believe that it is the child who is resisting visitation.

At What Age Can a Child Refuse to See a Parent?

When it’s a teenager who is refusing visitation, the court may look at the situation differently than they would if it was a young child.

Teenagers are known to push their parents’ buttons and try to call the shots, but legally speaking, in most states, teenagers under 18 don’t have a say in whether or not they follow the visitation schedule.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

What happens when your BFF’s behavior makes you say WTF? When do you stay loyal and when do you call it quits? By request from listener Alyssa, Savvy Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen tackles when to stick it out in a troubled friendship and when to walk away.

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it’s not true that friendship never ends. Research actually confirms what we’ve all experienced: most middle school friendships don’t even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we’ve been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom?

Sometimes it’s obvious: a so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift, your back-up dancers. Now we’ve got bad blood, indeed.

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How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

How to convince your parents to let you stay up later How to convince your parents to let you stay up later

But sometimes it’s not obvious: do you tough it out with a friend struggling with addiction? Can you stay friends with someone whose values undergo a radical change? Do you leave behind a boring friend or remind yourself true friendship isn’t about entertainment? And of course, what to do when a friendship starts off strong and just fizzles? Nothing happened, but there’s just nothing there anymore. Is it okay to let go?

Fundamentally, you don’t need a checklist of legit and non-legit reasons to end a friendship. Go with your gut and your heart. That said, here are seven questions to ask yourself to make those fuzzy situations a little bit clearer:

Question #1: Does it feel genuine, or like a transaction? Some people are friends with you because of what you can do for them. Red flags include friends who repeatedly try to sell you something, ask to borrow money again and again, or keep tabs on favors. (“You owe me housesitting because I took care of your dog.”) These friends routinely cross the line between friendship and business.

The transaction might also be more subtle—you’re friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You’re friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.

In sum, if you leave every interaction with an urge to wash your hands, look closer and see if you might using them or being used yourself. In the end, you want friends, not an entourage.

Question #2: Are you holding each other back from getting healthy? Back in 2007, a now-famous study in the New England Journal of Medicine tracked the spread of obesity through a “deeply interconnected social network” of more than 12,000 people, underscoring that social ties link to health behavior.

Turns out healthy (or unhealthy) habits can circulate within a smaller friend group, too. For instance, unhealthy psychological habits like a tendency to put each other down or to complain constantly can spread from friend to friend. Or unhealthy body image or disordered eating habits might be a culture in your circle.

More seriously, if you’re battling a substance abuse problem normalized by a friend group (“If we all drink until we black out, doesn’t that make it normal?”), it’s difficult yet crucial to drop friends. Indeed, showing up at the same bar with the same people will inevitably lead to the same behavior.

Ideally, friends work together to eat better, team up to exercise, or weather the horrors of stopping smoking together. But if your friend pulls you down, pressures you to drink or smoke after you’ve made it clear you’re trying to change, or otherwise ridicules your attempts to take care of yourself, it may be time to distance yourself.

Question #3: Are you being manipulated? Manipulation, fundamentally, is managing the emotions of others, and not in a good way. It’s sulking to get someone to feel bad, it’s being especially nice to butter someone up.

It’s really hard to put your finger on whether or not it’s happening, because being the target of manipulation is like being the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water—it’s only after you’re out that you realize the full extent of what was happening.

But there are clues: your friendship may feel unnecessarily intricate. You’re at a loss for words when others ask you about the friendship. “It’s complicated,” is the best you can muster.

Another clue: without quite realizing it, you’ve changed for the worse as a result of this friendship (less happy, less secure, less confident) but somehow you’re the one always doing the apologizing. Or you may just feel like something is always off. You even ask your friend “what’s wrong?” but the answer (or the resulting silent treatment) just makes you more confused.

Any of these clues may be signs of emotional manipulation. Indeed, a 2016 study unsurprisingly found that manipulation hung together with lower levels of important friendship characteristics like being able to express personal thoughts and feelings, providing comfort when needed, simply being fun to be with, and always being there for each other (which, by the way, in research-speak is called “reliable alliance”).