How to deal with blackmail

Online blackmail scams often start in the same way. A stranger – typically posing as a woman – slides into their target’s messages on Facebook, Instagram, or Skype with some flattery and then a request to video chat.

If the target agrees, the stranger wastes no time in insisting the conversation gets a little hot and heavy. They may even send a naked picture or sex video without prompting. But that unsolicited offer strategically builds a false sense of trust. It makes the target feel comfortable enough to send a few nude photos. Or a masturbating video. Or several.

Suddenly the sexting stops and the stranger reveals who they really are – an online blackmailer. Unlike sextortionists , these type of online blackmailers tend to prey on men and their goal is money. However, just like sextortionists, blackmailers who use this scam exploit their victims’ fear for their own gain.

If you are the victim of online blackmail, we urge you to follow these five steps right away.

1. Don’t delete anything!

We repeat – don’t delete a f*cking thing. You might want to for several reasons: embarrassment over being duped, it’s evidence of cheating, or a panicked attempt to get it out of sight, out of mind. The second you start erasing that proof, you put more control in the blackmailer’s hands.

Learn how to organize all your evidence with our Incident Tracking Chart .

2. Don’t give them any more of your time or money – no matter how “small” the request.

The scammer will start baiting you with demands and threats. Don’t respond. Those demands for money may be followed up with threats to message all of your Facebook or Insta friends and everyone you know with the videos or naked pics you took. Again, don’t respond.

Ok, we get it. Nobody wants their high school band teacher to see them getting off. And blackmailers know this and prey on it. The initial demand may not seem that bad either. What’s a couple hundred bucks if it’ll make them go away? But paying online blackmailers says only one thing – you will do whatever they ask. So don’t pay and don’t keep chatting.

3. Resist the temptation to negotiate.

No matter how desperate you feel, don’t make offers. It shows a willingness to cooperate with the blackmailer. Don’t risk turning yourself into an ATM.

4. Think about how an exposure of this kind could impact your life.

Although you might hope that ignoring the problem will make it go away that doesn’t always happen.

The constant fear of what this scam could do to you is no way to live. If there are any parts of your life that could be damaged if this gets out – your public reputation, career, or relationship – you should get a plan together. Understanding exactly how a leak could affect you AND how to respond if shit does hit the fan is a move blackmailers don’t expect.

5. Don’t let shame and blame stop you from getting help.

Ok, so you masturbated on cam to a stranger? Sure, that might not be everyone’s kink but it’s not illegal and certainly not deserving of someone’s fear-inducing scam. Call the cops and contact a lawyer who knows how to handle this type of crisis discreetly.

Our firm has handled many online blackmail cases that involve the worst-case-scenario coming true – the content sent to loved ones and coworkers. Unfortunately for those particular blackmailers, their threats were met with a legal team that acted quickly. We are can control the crisis and protect your rep.

Call (646) 666 – 8908 or send our office a message to tell us what’s going on. We will be in touch right away.

How to deal with sextortion?

What to do if you are being blackmailed online

How to deal with blackmail

How to deal with online blackmail

Apr 25, · Contact an experienced Internet attorney as soon as possible! Online Extortion Protection Tip: If you’re being extorted, blackmailed, or sextorted online, we recommend taking screenshots of the offensive material and conversations. Doing so will ultimately help strengthen your claim for online blackmail or cyberextortion. Apr 19, · Unlike sextortionists, these type of online blackmailers tend to prey on men and their goal is money. However, just like sextortionists, blackmailers who use this scam exploit their victims’ fear for their own gain. If you are the victim of online blackmail, we urge you .

Online blackmail scams often start in the same way. If the target agrees, the stranger wastes no time in insisting the conversation gets a little hot and heavy. They may even send a naked picture or sex video without prompting.

But that unsolicited offer strategically builds a false sense of trust. It makes the target feel comfortable enough to send a few nude how to wire a coil to points. Or a masturbating video. What to do if you are being blackmailed online several.

Suddenly the sexting stops and the stranger reveals who they really are — an online blackmailer. Unlike sextortioniststhese type of online blackmailers tend to prey on men and their goal is money. The scammer will start baiting you with demands and threats.

Those demands for money may be followed up with threats fi message all of your Facebook or Insta friends and everyone you know with the videos or naked pics you took. Ok, we get it. Nobody wants their high school band blackmaiiled to see them getting off. And blackmailers know this and prey on it. The initial demand may not seem that bad either.

But paying online blackmailers says only one thing — you will do whatever wat ask. Resist the temptation to negotiate. It shows a willingness to cooperate with the blackmailer. Think about how an exposure of this kind could impact your life.

The constant fear of what this scam could do to you is no way to live. If there are any onlkne of your life that could be damaged if this gets out — your public how to make a fiberglass bow, career, or relationship — you should get a plan together.

Ok, so you masturbated on cam to a stranger? Call the cops and contact a lawyer who knows how to handle this type of crisis discreetly. Our firm has handled many online blackmail cases that involve the worst-case-scenario coming true — the content sent to loved ones and coworkers.

Unfortunately for those particular blackmailers, their threats were met with a legal team that acted quickly. We are can control the crisis and protect your rep. We will be in touch right away. Revenge Porn. Posted by: Carrie Goldberg. Likes: 0. If you are the victim of online blackmail, we urge you to follow these five steps right away.

Learn how to organize all your evidence with our Incident Tracking Chart. Related posts 0. Posted by: C. Goldberg team. Click here to cancel reply.

First steps in dealing with online blackmail

Jul 23, · If you know your blackmailer, you should ensure you block them on all social networking accounts and change your privacy settings to prevent them from accessing your list of friends. Also, changing. Aug 13, · Webcam blackmail scams use simple extortion tactics to cheat people out of money. If you ever receive one of these emails, simply ignore the ransom demands, change your password and check whether your email address has been involved in a data leak.

Imagine receiving an email from someone saying that they have installed malware on your computer and hijacked your webcam to capture videos of you using adult websites. The sextortion email includes a ransom demand to be paid in bitcoin. It would be easy to disregard the email, except for the fact that the scammer states that they have stolen your password via a keylogger — and to prove it, they include a password that you may be currently using or have used in the past in the body of the email.

This adds a certain amount of credibility to the threat. Extortion is commonplace in the world of cybercrime as the growth of cryptocurrency has given criminals a safer and less traceable way of receiving funds from victims. Cyber sextortion scams, which rely on nothing more than a well-worded email, are becoming increasingly common as attackers look for easy ways to cheat people out of money. Sextortion is all about scammers trying to extort people out of money over the internet.

This is a total scam. The sender of the email has no leverage and is employing cheap fear tactics to turn a quick buck. They have not installed anything malicious on your computer, cannot access your contacts, and do not have any incriminating videos of you. It is alarming that they may know your password, but rest assured that they have almost certainly not stolen it with a keylogger. Instead, they have found your account credentials in one of the countless data breaches that have affected major companies such as Adobe, LinkedIn, and Tumblr, among many others.

While it is concerning that your login credentials are out in the open for all to see, scammers are most likely simply using publicly available information to add weight to their online blackmail racket. Understandably, it can be upsetting to be on the receiving end of cyber blackmail. Remember, this is nothing more than a scam.

The sender of the email has not installed anything on your computer and they do not have any images or videos of you. Keep calm, ignore the threats and do not pay the ransom. If the email contains a password that you currently use, immediately change it at any sites where it is currently used.

Avoid using the same password for multiple accounts, and enable two factor authentication where possible. Check out our previous blog post for more tips on creating and storing strong passwords. As noted above, the scammers probably found your credentials in a data breach. This handy website lists any data breaches that may have involved your email address. Change your password at any sites that have been affected by a breach.

Webcam blackmail scams use simple extortion tactics to cheat people out of money. If you ever receive one of these emails, simply ignore the ransom demands, change your password and check whether your email address has been involved in a data leak.

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Someone from Pakistan sent me a message on Fiverr threatening to ruin my business if I did not send him $20 (I have the screenshots of that conversation that I’d like to send you). I refused and he started posting 1* reviews. After 5, I turned off the reviews for over a year and reported them to Fiverr. But I just turned them back on and he started posting them again. 70 reviews this time. All from India and Pakistan. I only sell products in USA and UK.

Reviews are good social proof that bring me business. Turning them off means that I lose sales. I should not have to turn my reviews off in order to make him stop.

What can I do to stop there terrorists from blackmailing me?? Why can’t I approve reviews before they post? Or why can’t I stop foreigners from posting, especially considering that I don’t sell products in their country??

It is ridiculous that there is no way for me to protect my business!

Many people use webcams for flirting and cybersex – but sometimes people you meet online aren’t who they say they are.

Sextortion – what it is, how to protect yourself and what to do if you’re a victim

What is sextortion

Many people use webcams for flirting and cybersex – but sometimes people you meet online aren’t who they say they are.

Criminals might befriend victims online by using a fake identity and then persuade them to perform sexual acts in front of their webcam, often by using an attractive woman to entice the victim to participate. These women may have been coerced into these actions using financial incentives or threats.

These webcam videos are recorded by the criminals who then threaten to share the images with the victims’ friends and family. This can make the victims feel extremely ashamed and embarrassed and, tragically, here in the UK at least four young men have taken their own lives after being targeted in this way.

Both men and women can be victims of this crime, either by being blackmailed or by being coerced into carrying out sexual acts.

The best way to stop yourself from becoming a victim is to be very careful about who you befriend with online, especially if you’re considering sharing anything intimate with them.

Has this happened to you?

Don’t Panic: The first big step is to recognise you are the ‘victim’ in this and that you may require support to help you through what has happened.

Don’t pay: The choice to pay is yours but experience shows where victims have paid then there is no guarantee that offenders will not still post the recording
and are in fact more likely to come back with further demands.

Don’t keep communicating: By replying to these threats it indicates to the criminals that you are someone who may be persuaded to pay their ransom.

Do consider getting support: You can contact your local Police force (101) to report what has happened to you. This is particularly important if you are struggling to cope with the issue. If you are under 18 consider speaking to a trusted adult and additional support is also available via Child Exploitation Online Protection. (CEOP)

Who is behind this crime

We have evidence that organised crime groups – mostly based overseas ­- are behind this crime. For them it’s a low risk way to make money and they can reach many victims easily online. Victims are often worried about reporting these offences to the police because they are embarrassed.

Further help and support

If this has happened to you and you’re under 18 please talk to an adult that you trust. It may feel like there is no way out, but there are professionals who can help you. You can also get help from:

  • PAPYRUS provides confidential advice and support and works to prevent young suicide in the UK.
  • Samaritans to talk any time you like in your own way and off the record
  • Get Safe Online
  • Revenge Porn Helpline
  • Skype advice on protecting yourself from blackmail
  • Thinkuknow

Hypothetically, how would someone deal with blackmail when they are being told there is criminal evidence against them and if they don’t do what the person wants they will expose it? Let’s say the blackmailer wants person to end their relationship and stay away from partner. Hypothetically, if the allegations of criminal evidence are true, can the person being blackmailed get into trouble for going to the police?

Also in this hypothetical situation, nothing is in writing. Supposed blackmailers just show up to workplace with pictures of alleged act, as well as photos of family members as a threat to expose info to family members as well.

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3 attorney answers

Marcus Charles Musante

  • Posted on Mar 3

YEp, of course. And I’M not sure person A telling person B, “Break-up with person C or else I’M turning you in to the police,” is a crime. May be a civil-matter, but not sure it’s, “black-mail.” May be harassing calls/texts/EMails, but any “black-mail” I’VE seen involves money.
How big-of-a-deal, hypothetically, is the EVIdence against you? (don’t answer publicly)

Rixon Charles Rafter III

  • Posted on Mar 1

To deal with blackmail, one reports the blackmailer to the police.
If the victim cannot go to police because there is truth to the claim of criminal activity then a local criminal defense attorney is the best place to seek advice: in the privacy and confidentiality of that attorneys office.

NO ATTORNEY CLIENT PRIVILEGE is created by this or any other response by Attorney Rafter on Avvo. Select ‘Best Answer’ if you believe you got helpful information. Answers in Jurisdictions other than the State and Federal courts in Virginia are anchored in general legal principals not state specific law. Mr. Rafter is licensed in the state and Federal courts in the Commonwealth of Virginia. For specific responses on your specific issues and the laws in your state, you need to speak directly with an attorney in your own state. It is generally not possible for anyone to post sufficient facts or details about their situation that would generate a response on this or any other website that would fully and adequately address the legal problem posed. The answer to “speak to an attorney” is absolutely proper and correct in every situation.

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Stephen Clark Harkess

  • Posted on Mar 1

Can the victim get in trouble? Realistically, it depends on the crime and the evidence. The blackmailer is guilty of extortion. Extortion is a pretty serious crime. Police are not very interested in prosecuting the victim for minor offenses in an extortion case, but they aren’t going to ignore evidence of a murder simply because the killer was the victim of extortion.

The best way to deal with extortion is to seek advice from a criminal defense attorney. You need to know the actual consequences if the evidence is revealed so you can balance that against putting yourself forever under the control of an extortionist.

Please DO NOT message or phone me with further questions or comments as the discussions would be outside this forum and would not be visible to the public (the exception to this being for serious prospective clients). If you have additional follow up questions or additional facts to add, re-draft them into a new question and repost it. My responses on this website DO NOT constitute a consultation, nor do they establish an attorney-client relationship. Only a written retention agreement signed by client and myself will establish an attorney-client relationship.

13 Answers

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: our children are NOT an investment for old age. My mother, instead of asking straight up for help, made a nasty habit of emotionally blackmailing me into doing her bidding. “You owe me,” “I am your mother,” “You have to do this,” blah, blah, blah. When that didn’t work, she played the victim. That didn’t get her far either.

It really amazes me how adept at manipulation the elderly become as their bodies grow weaker. When they can’t impose their will on anyone, the nasty attitudes complete with barbs, hissy fits, and flat out tantrums pop out when you least expect them.

Our children don’t owe us anything. From the moment they were born we owed them, and that includes respect. They are not part of an implicit IRA. My sons and I support one another not because of some built in moral obligation but because we love each other unconditionally.

If there hasn’t been enough love to go around from the moment we held them in our arms, then I can see why emotional blackmail comes into play. But there’s really no excuse for it.

How to deal with blackmail

Emotional blackmail is unfair – totally and we all agree, but how come there is so much of it around? Is our parents generation unique or has this been going on since Adam and Eve grew elderly?

When I calm down (because I can get so A N G R Y) – I make a list of what I am willing to do for my dad/stepmom, my mom, and my inlaws. They are not comfortable on line – I will research, make calls, help with forms and paperwork. I no longer do things they can source (and pay for) locally – snow removal and lawn care, house cleaning, grocery delivery, meal preparation, trips to doctor(s), trips to see people, etc. Hosting huge get togethers with relatives that all bicker with each other, being the unpaid Bed and Breakfast for them and any of their friends passing through town (yes – they used to give our address to their friends on the road and expect us to board them and entertain them – even if we have never met them. You should have heard the repercussions the first time we turned away an elderly couple that walked up with their suitcase – your MIL said we could stay)

Unfortunately my list vs their expectations have a wide gap – hence the “you’ll regret this when we are dead”, “you just want me dead”, “you owe me” etc. My In-Laws are especially good at whining to the extended family so then I get the phone calls about how mean I am to them (not my husband, mind you, me!).

With therapy – I learned to make the list of what I was willing to do, cheerfully, and with love that I mentioned above. I also wrote down how much time per week I was willing to devote. We also role-played over and over how I would calmly handle the guilt trips, screaming, swearing, door slamming, shouting, phone calls, etc when they didn’t get their way. Best $$ ever spent. It amazed me how much time and energy my elders were willing to invest in trying to get their way – and they still do five years later. It never ends.

My husband, I and my 7 year old son are happy. We do some things for our elders because we DO LOVE them. We are able to calmly disengage when the @#$# flies. And we are happier than the days when we were angry and upset but jumped whenever the phone rang and went to help. I never thought we would be here.

There is hope but it isn’t easy. You have to understand that if you set boundaries you will upset the @#[email protected]#$ out of your parents and they will pull out all stops to get their way. Would you treat a loved one that way? NO. Why should they?

Emotional blackmail is not a pleasant thing to encounter, and many of us succumb to it without even realizing it at various stages in our lives. The truth is that there are many manipulative people out there, who seem to thrive on getting a one-up over someone they deem to be vulnerable and/or they feel they can take something from.

As a result, emotional blackmail is something you should do your utmost to avoid. If you think you’re already in such a situation, you need to be able to recognize the signs to identify emotional blackmail and put an end to it. Here is our guide to dealing with emotional blackmail:

How to deal with blackmail

Red Flag Situations

1. If you always seem to end up apologizing for your actions even though you know you did nothing wrong.

2. If your partner or spouse never takes no for an answer.

3. If you always end up giving in to your spouse or partner’s wishes at the expense of your own.

4. If the amount of times you make sacrifices for your partner or spouse far outweighs the number of times they do the same for you.

5. If you’re being intimidated or threatened into abiding by your spouse or partner’s wishes.

The Typical Emotional Blackmail Tactic

A book entitled “Emotional Blackmail”, written by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier, theorizes that those who use emotional blackmail employ a Fear –> Emotion –> Guilt tactic.

The first stage involves the manipulator making the victim fear, anger or disappoint them. In turn, this makes the victim feel obligated to meet their demands. If the victim fails to comply, then the result is feelings of guilt being instilled by the manipulator for not abiding by his or her wishes.

All of this is done very subtly – the manipulator uses tactics to appeal to the victim’s sensibilities. They make their demands seem reasonable, and make the victim feel selfish if they aren’t given what they want.

If you feel that you’re the victim of FOG tactics by your partner or spouse, ask someone who you’re close to give you a different perspective on your relationship by telling you what they see from the outside.

Vulnerable Individuals

Individuals who are most vulnerable to emotional blackmail are the ones who have trouble saying “no”. If you think you’re one of those people, you need to allow yourself to get comfortable with the thought of refusing or rebutting that which you are not content with doing. Think about the tone of voice you’ll use to utter the little word in the future, as well as the words you’ll use to reflect empowerment and help you feel more in control of the situations you’re likely to face.

How to Put a Stop to Emotional Blackmail

1. Prioritize your wants, needs and preferences over those of your partner.

2. Set clear boundaries that cannot be overstepped in any circumstances.

3. Realize that although you may love your partner very much, your well-being comes first. Share your personal priorities and make compromises accordingly.

4. Remember that giving in to emotional blackmail will only make your situation worse.

5. If your partner or spouse is threatening you with physical violence, or alluding to threats of physical violence, leave immediately and alert the authorities of the threats being leveled against you.

6. Reach out to your social support system and seek professional help if you need to.

How to deal with blackmail

Emotional blackmail is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a manipulative attempt to control some one else by playing with their emotions. A manipulative person displays passive aggressive behaviour by pulling on your heart strings. They try to instil fear, obligation and guilt into their victim in order to get their way. People with low self esteem often end up being subject to emotional blackmail. The more you respect yourself, the more inclined you are to be intolerant of emotional blackmail and unhealthy demands.

Recognise that emotional blackmail is a form of abuse

When someone tries to manipulate you to do something by trying to make you feel bad, it’s a form of abuse. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want but it’s not acceptable to go about it in an indirect way. Abusers are adept at triggering the right emotions in you. They have a knack for knowing how to get you to react. They may attempt to make you feel that you are selfish if you don’t go along with their needs.

Don’t give in to emotional blackmail

You teach people how to treat you. If you give in to emotional blackmail you encourage it to continue. Giving in may seem easier to do but you create a problematic future for yourself. Don’t accept being belittled, bullied or pressurised into doing something you don’t want to do.

Maintain clear boundaries

Establish boundaries and let the emotional blackmailer know what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Be very clear and direct about what you want.

Be assertive

Ensure that you stand up for yourself and let your blackmailer know when you feel they are crossing the line. You have every right to be treated respectfully.

Example of emotional blackmail

One scenario is if a man/woman in a committed relationship is caught cheating on their partner. Rather than taking ownership and apologizing for their actions, they may twist the story. They may blame their partner for not meeting their needs or being there when they needed them, therefore, seemingly rationalizing or justifying their behavior. This can be confusing for the victim, as she/he may be inclined to question herself/himself or start believing the claims. They may wonder if they’re good enough or if they could have done more in the relationship.

Emotional blackmailers commonly attempt to make the victim feel responsible for their (negative) actions.

  • It was your fault that I was late for work.
  • If you wouldn’t cook in an unhealthy way, I wouldn’t be overweight.
  • I would have gotten ahead in my career if you had done more at home.

Emotional blackmail can be subtle. Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong it probably is. A healthy relationship is about open communication and collaboration. If you feel you having to give more than you feel willing to, explore that feeling. If clear boundaries aren’t maintained, you could end up anxious and depressed. The emotional impact of emtional blackmail can be huge. It takes an emotional toll but you may not always be dealing with it effectively.