How to deal with blue balls

How to Get Rid of Blue Balls?: Have you ever heard of a man complaining of blue balls? And did you happen to be one of the people who thought that he was joking? Well, you should know that blue balls is a condition that does exist. Medically termed as epididymal hypertension, this is a condition caused by retention of fluid and blood in a man’s penis, which in turn results in minor pain and discomfort in the area. The good news is that it is not a serious condition, so you do not have to worry if you suffer from blue balls.

Generally, blue balls do not last long and the pain usually goes away after ejaculation. In fact, you an get rid of blue balls with home treatment. However, if you do not get better within a week, you should consult a medical professional. Before we proceed to the home remedies for blue balls, here is what you should learn about the condition .

Causes of Blue Balls

To have a clear understanding of the causes of blue balls or epididymal hypertension, you will first need to understand of what happens to your body during sexual intercourse. The sexual cycle basically has four phases: excitement or arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. During the phase of excitement, the flow of blood to the genitals increases, leading to an erection. As the excitement continues to increase, you enter the plateau phase which leads to even more blood flow to the genitals and increase of blood pressure.

When you reach the orgasm phase, your body increases noradrenaline production. This is a hormone that is designed to contract the penile arteries and muscle fibers, lowering the flow of blood to the penis. Noradrenaline also causes backflow of blood out of the penis, which is what cause it to become soft again during the phase of resolution.

So what does all this have to do with blue balls? The answer is a lot. If you have been sexually stimulated to the point of either the excitement phase or plateau phase but you have not had an orgasm, a large amount of blood gets trapped in the penis and testicles. There can be an extremely high blood pressure in your penis – in some cases, it can be almost twice as higher than in the rest of the body. This in turn can result in discomfort – an aching, heavy feeling. The bluish tinge that gives the condition its name can also be caused by the excess blood.

How to deal with blue balls How to get rid of blue balls

Best 7 Home Remedies to Get Rid Blue Balls

Here is a look at some of the best home remedies to help you get rid of blue balls and relieve the pain and discomfort that comes with it:

1. Masturbation

Strange as it may sound, masturbation is one of the most effective things you can do at home to get rid of blue balls. The aim is to ejaculate as that is what provides quick relief from pain and discomfort. If you are sure that you have the condition or experiencing pain and discomfort, try masturbation before going to a doctor or trying out another method.

2. Massage

Another simple way to relieve the symptoms of blue balls is to lie down, relax and massage the affected area. Massaging will keep the blood flowing, which is important. Once the blood gets moving, you will get immediate relief from the pain and discomfort that comes with the condition.

3. Exercise

Another effective method that you can try to get rid of blue balls is to exercise. Cardio is a great choice. You should choose exercises that help in getting the blood flowing away from your testicles. Jogging, walking and other similar activities may also provide relief.

4. Lift heavy objects

Research proves that something known as the Valsalva Maneuver can actually be caused by lifting a heavy object. Essentially, the Valsalva Maneuver is the sensation that you feel in your lower abdominal muscles while lifting weights. When you perform it, it can result in a change in blood pressure and in turn provide relief to some of the blood pressure in your penis and testicles.

5. Cold compress

This is another remedy that works like a charm to get rid of blue balls. A cold compress can actually mimic noradrenaline – the hormone that is released after orgasm, relieving epididymal hypertension. It causes constriction of the blood vessels and limits the additional flow of blood to the genitals.

6. Cold shower

Similar to cold compress, a cold shower can be equally helpful in providing you with relief from bluebells. The cold water will help numb the pain nerves and constrict blood vessels in the genitals. However, take note that this remedy comes with a risk, as the condition may also get worse since due to the constriction of blood vessels.

7. Warm towel

To sooth the pain that comes with epididymal hypertension, there is another simple home remedy you can try. All you have to do is take a small towel dampened with warm water and wrap it around your genitals. Leave it on for about 20 minutes. Repeat the process 3 to 4 times and you will find that it helps in easing the pain.

8. Wait it out

It might sound impossible to do especially when you are experiencing pain and discomfort in a very sensitive area, but sometimes the answer is waiting it out. In most cases, blue balls go away in about one hour. If you can, wait and the pain and discomfort will go away with causing any damage to the genitals.

When it comes to blue balls, one of the most important things you should keep in mind is that the condition is not life-threatening in any way. As mentioned, it does go away after a while. If you can wait for the pain and discomfort to subside, you should do so. Otherwise, you can try out some of the effective home remedies mentioned above for best relief.

If your pain is excruciating or happen to last a couple of days, then you should visit a doctor to determine if there is another underlying cause to this condition. However, as mentioned earlier, epididymal hypertension is not a dangerous condition and its symptoms go away after a while. You do not need medication to get relief – a few simple home remedies will do the trick to get rid of blue balls and make you feel better.

In this article
  • General Health Tips
  • blue balls
  • blue balls remedies
  • blue balls treatment
  • genital care
  • HNBTtips
  • home remedies
  • natural remedies
  • penile condition

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How to deal with blue balls

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Epididymal hypertension is a health condition that is a bane for men all around the globe. Also known as testicular vasocongestion or blue balls, it is a condition that affects the male genital area. Although the state is not chronic, it can cause devastating pain in the testicles. It is mostly seen when men have an erection without an orgasm, and it is often noticed that there is a bluish hue in the testicles.

These symptoms and the pain in the testicles during EH occurs due to blood being built up in the nether region during arousal. It causes them to ache if the person remains aroused for too long. Blue balls are a painful condition; however, it doesn’t last long and is usually done once the state of arousal is done.

Symptoms

People who experience EH may show the following signs and symptoms in their testicles:

  1. Heaviness in the abdominal region
  2. Aching
  3. Mild pain in the abdominal region
  4. A blue tint

It is caused due to sexual arousal, during this phase, the arteries carry a lot of blood to the male genitals, which causes the tissue to expand, thereby increasing the blood flow to this area. Additionally, the veins that take the blood away from the genitals are restricted.

After a person reaches the climax, their blood vessels return to their standard size. However, in the case of EH, during the swollen or aroused state, there is tremendous pressure on the testicles due to the stored ejaculate in the testicles. Simple home remedies and natural methods alleviate the pain and its associated symptoms.

How to Get Rid of Blue Balls Naturally?

1. Ejaculation

As blue balls occur only during an erection, one of the simplest and easiest ways would be to ejaculate as this helps to get rid of the pain as stored semen causes pain. There are several ways like masturbating, oral sex, or intercourse that can help in alleviating the condition.

Ejaculation releases extra pressure from testis and vas deferens and makes way for blood to flow. Many specialists and doctors suggest that regularly ejaculation is healthy; however, an excess of everything has its drawbacks.

2. Meditation

Meditation helps in relieving pain, as it helps in controlling the mind. Following yogic exercises like Goumukhasanas helps in ejaculating and helps in regulating the blood flow in the genital regions. Also, it is strongly recommended that you say no to steroids or medicines, which promotes erection. It is recommended that you try meditating early in the morning every day for at least 20 minutes.

3. Distraction

Distraction during the phase of being aroused is a skill you would need to master, and it is not accessible by any terms. However, with practice, it would get more comfortable to get your mind and body away from the phase.

You could try to do something that interests you, from listening to your favorite track to watching something on television or reading an exciting book. There are several ways one could get their mind off the aroused state, try what works for you the best.

4. Massage

Massage is a fantastic way to relax and reduce the blood flow to your nether regions. Mild pressure and your hands could help you tremendously. Relax and lay down on a flat surface, preferably a bed, then massage your nether regions, gently and make sure that you apply mild pressure.

It helps in reducing the blood flow and thereby helps in reducing the pain. It is recommended that you lightly twist and apply mild pressure.

5. Exercise & Workout

Exercise and workout is an ideal way of keeping EH at bay, as they help in drawing blood away from the testicles and towards the muscles. It is advised that you stick to cardio and light exercises such as walking and brisk walking as these don’t put tremendous pressure on you in the early days of when you start the regimen. As time passes, you could shift to a more intense workout plan.

Make sure that you exercise at least 30 minutes in the morning. A cardio session is advisable as it draws stored blood from the testes.

6. Steam Application

It may seem a little off; however, steam is known to cause vasodilation and helps in the relaxation of the blood vessels and thereby reducing the blood pressure.

The Amazing Benefits of Doing Reverse Crunches

To soothe the pain EH, wrap a warm towel around your lower abdominal and genitals for 15-20 minutes at 3-4 times in a week whenever you are aroused. It’ll help you in easing the pain. Additionally, you could also take a steam bath, though it is less advisable as compared to other options but is quite helpful.

How to Prevent Blue Balls

  1. Avoid wearing too tight clothes for a long time; they also affect the health of male genitals. If testis remains under pressure with no flow of air, their shape and size may get affected, causing resistance in the flow of blood.
  2. It is essential to stay hydrated. The required level of water should be maintained in one’s body so that all functions usually process along with ejaculating.
  3. Lifting heavy weights draws blood away from the testis. It causes something called the Valsalva maneuver in your lower abdominals, which regulates healthy blood flow. If blood keeps flowing in the testis, it does not cause any harm.

Blue balls are a condition that causes pain in testicles(1), especially during unfinished arousal. Consult a sexologist if EH causes you significant distress or is affecting your sex life. Regular pain in the testicles, especially if it’s dissimilar to sexual stimulation, may indicate a more grave problem if conveyed by other symptoms.

Few symptoms which are not ‘Blue Balls’ ones and need immediate treatment are:

  • A lump or enlargement in any one or both testicles
  • A feeling of dual aching in or over testis or groin area
  • Severe pain in the lower back
  • Inflammation while ejaculating

Some other reasons which may cause pain in the testis are Diabetic neuropathy in the scrotum, Kidney stones, mumps, Testicular cancer, and epididymitis.

Blue balls are a common but rarely seen condition. It is a result of high pressure caused due to testicles being full of ejaculate. Following good sex practices and using the above remedies would help you with your condition.

1. How long do blue balls last?

Blue balls usually only last for about a few minutes, as it only happens when in an aroused state, after a couple of minutes, you should feel the reduction in your pain.

2. Are blue balls dangerous?

Blue Balls are not at all dangerous, it is a momentary condition, and once the blood starts to flow to your genitals, everything goes back to normal.

3. Do women get blue balls?

Yes, women do experience it. However, not in the traditional sense, like that of a man. However, in females, if a woman doesn’t reach the orgasmic stage, she is deemed to have ‘blue balls’

There is nothing better than climax, is there? However, many people face difficulty ejaculating with the slightest efforts like dry humping or a simple hand-job. When a guy stays erect for too long without actually reaching climax, the feeling of pleasure can turn into a painful erection for him, and this is known as blue balls. The easiest way to get him out of this pain is sex, but sometimes giving somebody blue balls can make him feel better when ejaculating. So how to give a guy blue balls intentionally?

How to deal with blue balls

How Do Guys Get Blue Balls?

Our bodies work in amazing ways. Men’s reproductive organ, for example. Within a few seconds of arousal, his penis changes in shape, becomes hard, and expands up to inches! All this magic that goes on is simply the blood coming into his penis with more and more pressure than before, and not going back out because the veins that allow the blood from his penis to flow back swells and constraints it. The pressure and the increase of incoming blood in his beloved organ against the decrease in outgoing blood is why the organ expands and hardens (Many people refer it to as a “boner”). When a boner has been up for quite a while, all the pressure built inside it and his balls starts to hurt the man. He needs to get rid of the pressure to get rid of pain, which is done by ejaculation, which opens the veins again to let blood flow out as his muscles relax and he lets it go.

How to Give a Guy Blue Balls

The best way to give a guy blue balls is by locking his little soldier up in a chastity device, so that all your hard work does not go to trash. To explain how, it is really easy: try to bring him to climax and then suddenly stop, you leave him hanging and begging for it, of course, with blue balls. However, you must both be at consent with this kind of seduction because this act of leaving him hanging at the edge can irritate him and be painful for him. Many couples try the chastity device and it pleases them as the woman decides when or not to unlock his penis. Men are usually the ones who dominate in bed, and this can bring a twist in your sex life.

More Things You May Want to Know About Blue Balls

Girls’re Not Responsible for It.

Now that you know what causes blue balls and how to give a guy blue balls, you should know that even though men might take advantage of this situation and convince a girl to have sex to relieve them of the pain, it is definitely not necessarily the girl’s task. If you have not caused his blue balls, you are not restricted to make it go away. In fact, according to a doctor, having blue balls is nothing to be afraid of as it does not cause any damage. A man can get rid of his blue balls simply by masturbating till he ejaculates.

It’s Really Rare.

In the world of medicine, doctors and other professionals disregard blue balls as an ordinary situation, and many even consider it only a myth. No real consideration of this situation has been made in years, and it was only realized when a young boy came across this problem. However, and as we know, his problem was solved once he became sexually active with his girlfriend.

Solution to Blue Balls.

To talk about practical solutions, there are some. It is already discussed that the swelling of the veins restricting the blood flow out of the penis causes this painful condition. So, to get rid of blue balls, we must reverse this biological trap made in the penis, that is, we must open those veins again. This can be done by ejaculating either by masturbation or whatever way the man may choose; or, alternatively, like we unclog our ears in an airplane through forcing air, a man may use a Valsalva Maneuver to force an exhalation to open the veins.

Pain May Be Caused by Other Problems.

All concerns about reproductive organs are extremely sensitive and it must not be concluded that any pain caused during an erection is the pain from blue balls. While it may seem unlikely to you, there may be underlying medical conditions like urinary tract infection or such, that may be causing the pain. In such cases, obviously sex or ejaculation is not the answer. It is best to be safe, and hence, get checked if the pain is recurring. Knowing how to give a guy blue balls and how to release it, you can also help rule out whether your boyfriend is having blue balls or a medical condition.

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What’s Included

Included in this kit are a sample analyzer, containers, and droppers used to measure your sample at home.

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Can my medication affect the test results?

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A very important question was asked of Dr. Joe DeOrio, the male sexuality expert on EmandLo.com. “What’s the deal with blue balls ?” one reader asks. A very good question indeed. I’ve often wondered myself. Such a mysterious ailment, it seems to me. Dr. Joe describes it as a “discomfort in the scrotum/testes that occurs after prolonged sexual stimulation without ejaculatory release.” Yeah, I’m still not able to empathize. It must be a similar to a man trying to understand periods. After the jump, four things we should know about blue balls.

1. It’s not an excuse to pressure a lady.

How to deal with blue balls

While the pain of blue balls is a real thing (he’s not just being a baby as you originally assumed), it doesn’t mean that a lady should be obliged to relieve the pain. According to the good doctor, he will not die, nor damage the jewels in any way if he does not ejaculate. So, just to reiterate: you did not giveth the blue balls and you are not responsible to taketh the pain away. I think we womenfolk already knew this, but it’s good to have medical confirmation.

2. The cause is unknown.

How to deal with blue balls

There are many theories about what causes blue balls, but nobody knows for sure. Most think it has to do with the epididymis, the duct in which sperm resides. One popular theory is that the pain is caused by sperm getting backed up in the male plumbing. Those of us who have crappy plumbing at home know how much that sucks.

3. The medical community generally doesn’t care.

How to deal with blue balls

Some medical professionals consider blue balls a myth. (I’ll bet most of them are female.) The condition has only been mentioned in a medical text once in the past 25 years. It was a case of a 14-year-old boy whose balls hurt when he started fooling around with his first girlfriend. Miraculously, his problem came to an end once he started having intercourse. Imagine that!

4. There is only one (legit) cure.

How to deal with blue balls

Yep. You guessed it. The only legit cure for blue balls is to unclog the pipe. Ejaculation (by any method of his choice) almost always cures the pain. There is one other proposed cure men who consider themselves “chaste.” He can try to pop his nuts internally with a Valsalva maneuver, which is described as “forcefully attempting exhalation against a closed airway.” The same way one would try to pop their ears on an airplane. I don’t have balls, but this sounds extremely dangerous. 🙂

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    How to deal with blue balls

    When you hear the term blue balls, you think it only applies to men. Blue balls usually refer to an extremely uncomfortable condition that is experienced by men when they are extremely aroused as blood is pumped to the lower region of the body, causing a build-up of pressure. Believe it or not, women can experience their own version of blue balls as well.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Understanding Blue Balls for Women

    When it comes to blue balls for women, it’s a similar situation for what happens to men. When a woman becomes aroused in a moment of intense passion, blood flows to the lower region of her body. The area most affected is the area that gives a woman the most amount of pleasure during lovemaking. As the blood pumps to this part of the body, everything begins to swell. The pressure starts to build. If a woman doesn’t experience some type of release, it can lead to major discomfort in her private parts.

    What Does Blue Balls Feel Like?

    Blue balls are equally frustrating for women. What used to be considered a problem that was unique to men is happening for the other half. The bottom line is blue balls is not pleasant. You might feel a throbbing down below that pushes you over the edge. Cramping or tightness can make you really start to squirm or there can be a pulsing as the blood rushes to this pivotal part of your body.

    What Can Give You Relief from Blue Balls?

    In the same way that a man is desperate for relief from blue balls, the same holds true for a woman. If you are experiencing this discomfort in your private parts that can range from mild pressure to serious pain, you just want it to go away. The best way to resolve the issue is to allow the cycle to be completed during an intimate moment. Men will tell you the same thing. Otherwise, the only thing you can do is wait it out as the build-up of blood slowly ebbs. A cold shower might help.

    How Does Blue Balls Compare Between Men and Women?

    Talk to men and women and you will find that they both agree that blue balls are not a good feeling. However, men do get the worse end of the bargain. The condition tends to last longer for men because the build-up of blood takes a long time to ease up. However, it is believed that women experience this condition more often than men because it is more difficult for women to find release during intimacy. It’s a difference in basic anatomy that can lead to a great deal of frustration. The best way to ward off blue balls for women is to look for creative ways to make love act more satisfying, providing a release for both partners.

    What Do Women Need to Know About Blue Balls?

    Women need to understand that blue balls are a real problem. Men haven’t been lying about this unwelcome condition. Once women have experienced it themselves, they will have a new level of understanding. When both men and women realize that they are suffering from a similar problem that is connected to intimacy, it can help them to be more patient with one another.

    If blue balls have affected you, talk to your partner. You’re sure to get some sympathy for a condition you have both experienced at some point in life. Be open and creative to find ways to avoid blue balls on either side in the future.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Unlike the meme above, Tree-based algorithms are pretty nifty when it comes to real-world scenarios. Decision Tree is a supervised (labeled data) machine learning algorithm that can be used for both classification and regression problems.

    It’s similar to the Tree Data Structure, which has a root, and multiple other types of nodes (parent, child, and leaf).

    In the following example, we’ve to approve a loan on the basis of the age, salary, and no. of children the person has. We ask a conditional question at each node and make splits accordingly, till we reach a decision at the leaf node (i.e get loan/don’t get loan).

    How to deal with blue balls

    Advantages

    • They have high interpretability, which makes them the go-to algorithm for real-world business applications. They can be explained as a series of questions/ if-else statements.
    • The time required to make predictions is very less. It’s just the evaluation of a particular set of conditions for a given data point.
    • No missing value imputation is required as the algorithm adapts accordingly.

    Disadvantages

    • They are unstable. A small change in data can lead to a vastly different decision tree.
    • They are often relatively inaccurate and prone to overfitting. This can be rectified by replacing a single decision tree with a random forest of decision trees.

    Let’s try to build intuition by using an example. We’ll take a very popular one, where we have to decide whether we can play golf (target) on a particular day or not, based on the given weather conditions (predictors).

    How to deal with blue balls

    In this example, the given predictors are categorical in nature and so is the target. The steps taken to build the decision tree were as follows-

    • First, we picked the Outlook feature as our node and created splits for every value of it. For the Overcast category, every outcome was “Yes” for the Play Golf (Target) variable which essentially means that whenever the Outlook was Overcast, we could play golf. We made a final decision so we make it a leaf node.
    • For the remaining categories, the outcome wasn’t as clear as Overcast as it consisted of a mixture of yes and nos. We further split these nodes based on other columns like Windy or Humidity, till we’re able to make a decision (i.e whether we’ll be able to play golf or not).

    After looking at the example above, the following questions might arise :

    • Which feature should we choose first?
    • What should be the order of splitting?
    • How do we decide the number of child nodes?
    • How can we compare two features w.r.t which one is better for a split?
    • How do we decide the splitting criteria?

    These questions will be answered in the next section, where we will look at an algorithm called C4.5 which uses the concepts of Entropy and Information gain.

    There are multiple algorithms (with extremely long, and scary names) which are used for building Decision Trees. Some of them are :

    • ID3(Iterative Dichotomiser 3)
    • C4.5(successor of ID3)
    • CART (Classification And Regression Tree)
    • Chi-square automatic interaction detection (CHAID). Performs multi-level splits when computing classification trees.
    • MARS: extends decision trees to handle numerical data better.

    We’re going to focus on C4.5 for now as it’s popular and is able to deal with both categorical and numerical features. Before we dive into the algorithm, we need to know the meaning of certain terms :

    • Root node: The topmost node in a tree.
    • Leaf/ Terminal Node: Nodes do not split is called Leaf or Terminal node
    • Splitting: It is a process of dividing a node into two or more sub-nodes.
    • Parent and Child Node: A node, which is divided into sub-nodes is called the parent node of sub-nodes whereas sub-nodes are the child of the parent node.
    • Decision Node: When a sub-node splits into further sub-nodes, then it is called a decision node.

    Some more important terms specific to the C4.5 Algorithm

    Entropy in physics is simply a metric for measuring the degree of disorder or randomness of a system.

    In the context of Decision Trees, it can be thought of as a measure of disorder or uncertainty w.r.t predicting the target. Let’s take the example of Red, Blue, and Green balls in boxes. A box with 6 blue balls will have very low (zero) entropy whereas a box with 2 blue, 2 green, and 2 red balls would have relatively high entropy.

    How to deal with blue balls

    where pᵢ is the probability of randomly picking an element of class i (i.e. the proportion of the dataset made up of class i).

    Let’s take an example to understand this better. Consider a dataset with 1 blue, 2 green, and 3 red balls then :

    How to deal with blue balls

    We know pb = 1/6 (blues) because 1/6th of the dataset is blue. Similarly, pg = 2/6 (greens) and pr = 3/6 (reds). Thus,

    How to deal with blue balls

    Whereas, for a dataset consisting only of blue balls, the entropy would be :

    How to deal with blue balls

    Information gain is a metric that helps us determine which attribute in a given set of training feature vectors is most useful for discriminating between target classes. We use it to decide the ordering of attributes in the nodes of the Decision Tree.

    How to deal with blue balls

    This formula for information gain is pretty intuitive. We look at the difference between the entropy of parent and children. A high reduction in entropy is good as we’re able to distinguish between target classes better. This simply implies that we choose the feature which has the highest information gain.

    C4.5 is a recursive algorithm as it recursively picks the feature which gives maximum information gain and uses it to split the tree further.

    How to deal with blue balls

    That was it for the C4.5 Algorithm.

    The content of this article was a mixture of information from various sources on the internet, combined with my understanding of them.

    Give the article a clap if you liked it and make sure to drop any feedback/suggestions/questions in the comments 🙂

    This article was co-authored by Mario Banuelos, PhD. Mario Banuelos is an Assistant Professor of Mathematics at California State University, Fresno. With over eight years of teaching experience, Mario specializes in mathematical biology, optimization, statistical models for genome evolution, and data science. Mario holds a BA in Mathematics from California State University, Fresno, and a Ph.D. in Applied Mathematics from the University of California, Merced. Mario has taught at both the high school and collegiate levels.

    There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

    wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 12 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.

    This article has been viewed 3,079,245 times.

    Chances are (pun intended) you’ve encountered probability by now, but what exactly is probability, and how do you calculate it? Probability is the likelihood of a specific event happening, like winning the lottery or rolling a 6 on a die. Finding probability is easy using the probability formula (the number of favorable outcomes divided by the total number of outcomes). In this article, we’ll walk you through exactly how to use the probability formula step by step, plus show you some examples of the probability formula in action.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Example: It would be impossible to calculate the probability of an event phrased as: “Both a 5 and a 6 will come up on a single roll of a die.”

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to deal with blue balls

    Mario Banuelos, PhD
    Assistant Professor of Mathematics Expert Interview. 11 December 2021. Here are 2 more examples to help you get oriented:

    • Example 1: What is the likelihood of choosing a day that falls on the weekend when randomly picking a day of the week? “Choosing a day that falls on the weekend” is our event, and the number of outcomes is the total number of days in a week: 7.
    • Example 2: A jar contains 4 blue marbles, 5 red marbles and 11 white marbles. If a marble is drawn from the jar at random, what is the probability that this marble is red? “Choosing a red marble” is our event, and the number of outcomes is the total number of marbles in the jar, 20.

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to deal with blue balls

    Mario Banuelos, PhD
    Assistant Professor of Mathematics Expert Interview. 11 December 2021. Here’s how you find the probability of our remaining examples: [4] X Research source

    • Example 1: What is the likelihood of choosing a day that falls on the weekend when randomly picking a day of the week? The number of events is 2 (since 2 days out of the week are weekends), and the number of outcomes is 7. The probability is 2 ÷ 7 = 2/7. You could also express this as 0.285 or 28.5%.
    • Example 2: A jar contains 4 blue marbles, 5 red marbles and 11 white marbles. If a marble is drawn from the jar at random, what is the probability that this marble is red? The number of events is 5 (since there are 5 red marbles), and the number of outcomes is 20. The probability is 5 ÷ 20 = 1/4. You could also express this as 0.25 or 25%.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Note: If you had, for example, forgotten about the number 4 on the dice, adding up the probabilities would only reach 5/6 or 83%, indicating a problem.

    F&B’s colour expert tells us how to transform your living space with these timeless colours.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Ammonite and Hague Blue are among Farrow & Ball’s most popular paint colours*, so what exactly is the best way to decorate with this understated grey and deep blue hue in the home?

    With a subtle grey tone, Ammonite is named after the treasured fossils often found on the Dorset coast, while the deep and dramatic Hague Blue takes its name from the coloured woodwork much used by the Dutch.

    There’s a reason why these two colours keep topping any and every ranking for interior colours in the home. In fact, Hague Blue was recently crowned the UK’s most popular paint colour for the kitchen, living room and bedroom. Here we speak to Joa Studholme, Farrow & Ball’s Colour Curator, about how to decorate with Ammonite and Hague Blue – and how we can use these timeless colours together in our living spaces.

    ‘As we adapt to the idea of spending more time at home, most of us prefer to be in lighter rooms during the day and darker spaces in the evening, subconsciously working with the natural light,’ Joa tells House Beautiful UK.

    ‘Ammonite and Hague Blue are the perfect pairings to create spaces that feel radically different, giving you more structure to your day and a greater sense of wellbeing. The change from light to dark follows the natural rhythm of the day and will enhance our sleeping.’

    The love for versatile grey shows no signs of waning and it’s become a firm favourite across homes in the UK.

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to deal with blue balls

    Ammonite is one of our most popular greys and for good reason as it works in virtually any light conditions, becoming a little silverer at the end of the day in east-facing rooms but generally retaining a slight warmth,’ says Joa. ‘Ammonite is part of a group of greys that are so relaxed and easy to live with you barley notice they are there. It has a gossamer appearance so is perfect for those who prefer understated decoration which does not challenge us but provides versatility.’

    So where in the home is best to use this colour? Ammonite will work great in kitchens or rooms that you use during daylight hours, and it can be taken over the wall, ceilings, and woodwork for a chic but minimal feel, explains Joa. Better still, you can add Hague Blue on kitchen units or just on an island with Purbeck Stone units to create a nostalgic look.

    It may seem like navy has been having a ‘moment’ for a while now, but it’s become the go-to choice in many homes for those wanting to create a bold, dramatic and timeless look.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Hague Blue oozes period grandeur and creates a dramatic, glamorous feel,’ says Joa. ‘It has increased in popularity as an alternative to charcoal grey in living rooms or rooms that you end up in at the end of the day when you are no longer concerned with daylight. With its timeless appeal, Hague Blue creates spaces that are both comforting and restorative even in the smallest of rooms, particularly when used on both the walls and the woodwork.’

    However, Joa warns, if you prefer to have a contrast between your walls and woodwork, it’s best to avoid a bright white with rich colours like Hague Blue. ‘Instead, use a soft grey like Ammonite which will provide a softer more considered look.’

    *Based on the average number of monthly searches over a 12-month period [via SEMrush].

    Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox.

    The fungal infection ringworm can be a nuisance, but good treatment options are available.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Despite its name, ringworm isn’t caused by a worm — but rather by a fungus. “The rash happens to come as a ring,” says Amy Kassouf, MD, a dermatologist with the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. The name ringworm describes the characteristic circular shape, which can be red and scaly in appearance.

    Ringworm occurs at various places on the body and is scientifically known as tinea, followed by a word denoting the area where the rash is visible; tinea capitus is a scalp infection, for example. In fact, ringworm that occurs in one person on one area can be transmitted to someone else and show up on a completely different body part, depending on how the fungus was transmitted.

    The infection can spread via skin-to-skin contact, clothing, or surfaces where the fungus lives, such as in showers or locker rooms. It’s more common among people with compromised immune systems and can spread more easily among families (because of skin contact) or athletes (because of the locker room environment).

    “Kids may have it on the scalp, and their mom will have it on her neck,” says Robin P. Gehris, MD, chief of pediatric dermatology at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center’s Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. “When infants have tinea capitus and the mom snuggles with the infant, the mom can get it by direct inoculation to places like her neck and chest,” she explains.

    Ringworm Treatment

    While ringworm is irritating, it doesn’t come with severe complications.

    In most cases, the rash is treated in the same way: with a topical antifungal treatment, such as Lotrimin (clotrimazole) or Lamisil (terbinafine). The one exception to the simple treatment rule is for a scalp infection, which occurs more commonly in children and is noticeable because a ring of hair loss will often occur in the infected area. Ringworm that reaches the scalp entails much more intensive treatment — typically six weeks of an oral antifungal medication rather than a topical cream.

    While it’s necessary, the longer treatment course is unwelcome news to most patients, says Dr. Gehris. But topical creams won’t work on the scalp because the surface treatments don’t penetrate deeply enough. “Treating it yourself with over-the-counter antifungal creams, is not going to be effective because it’s on the scalp,” says Gehris.

    Ringworm Transmission From Animals to People

    Unlike some other infections, ringworm doesn’t only spread between people, but can also come from contact with an infected animal.

    “I had a colleague who got it from holding a koala bear in Australia,” says Dr. Kassouf.

    While most cases won’t come from such exotic sources, infection is a concern with household pets, who certainly rub up against human companions enough to spread ringworm to people within the house.

    “Fungus is everywhere,” says Beth Goldstein, MD, a dermatologist in private practice in the Chapel Hill area and an adjunct at the University of North Carolina. “Small animals, like kittens and puppies, can get infected.”

    Is It Ringworm or Something Else?

    Because ringworm typically has a distinctive circular appearance, you may think you know what you have and treat it yourself with over-the-counter (OTC) remedies.

    “Classically it looks like a red scaly patch where the center becomes clear,” says Dr. Goldstein.

    But it can also look like eczema or other skin problems, so if your self-diagnosed rash doesn’t respond to OTC treatments, a visit to the doctor is a good idea.

    The most important steps for you to take when you see an unexplained rash, says Adam Goldstein, MD, PhD, professor of family medicine at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine in Chapel Hill, are these: “Getting it diagnosed quickly, getting it treated so you’re not spreading it, and figuring out where you got it from.”

    How to Prevent the Spread of Ringworm

    Some basic steps families can take to avoid the spread of ringworm include being careful about what you share: Teach kids not to wear each other’s hats, and make sure each family member uses their own comb and brush. Other basic hygiene practices, like not sharing razors, can help prevent the spread of ringworm. And athletes and gymgoers should be sure to wipe down or avoid sharing athletic equipment.

    One of the most at-risk groups for ringworm are wrestlers, who come in contact with each other and with moist mats that harbor the fungus and facilitate its spread. In some cases, wrestlers may want to use antifungal treatments as part of a regular cleaning routine. Check with your doctor about this.

    “In a high-risk sport like wrestling, consider showering right after with something that might be somewhat antifungal, such as Head & Shoulders or Selsun Blue shampoos as body wash,” says Gehris.

    Unfortunately, she adds, “Sometimes you do everything right and you still get it.”

    1 of 15

    If you’ve immersed yourself in the world of hand-spun or hand-dyed fibers for knitting or crochet, you’ve likely purchased your yarn in beautifully twisted skeins. Skeins are those snakelike coils of yarn that have been tied and twisted tightly upon themselves. You know, the ones that call out to you at craft markets—rich in color, beautifully spun, and worth their weight in gold?

    The shape of a skein is important as it keeps the yarn tight and tidy, but before it takes that shape it needs to be first wrapped into what is called a “hank.” A hank is coiled yarn that has been tied in a few areas to keep it together. Hanks can be any size, but are commonly sold in 200- to 300-yard lengths. The best way to dye yarn is when it is in a hank. It allows for color to seep all around the yarn so that it can be dyed evenly, which could be prohibited if bundled as a skein. If you’ve purchased undyed yarn in a skein, all you need to do in order to dye it, is simply untwist the yarn into the large coil and you’re ready to go. However, if you find yourself in a situation where your yarn is in a ball or has just become a giant knotted mess (or needed to recycle yarn or substitute your yarn mid-project), it’s simple to wind it back into a hank and start over without tools. (All you need is an armchair.)

    Once you’re ready to start your project, it’s easiest to wind your yarn into a ball. The process of winding a skein into a ball from a hank can be a mindless but enjoyable task, allowing you to get a good feel for the yarn between your fingers before embarking on your project. Once wound into a ball, place into a yarn bowl to keep it from rolling all over the place and you’re ready to begin stitching.

    And yes, some sagging is entirely normal.

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to deal with blue balls

    One of the harsh realities of aging is that body parts begin to sag. Along with all the common areas, like the chin or eyelids, most men will notice that their balls start to sit a little lower than in their younger days. In most cases, this is totally normal, says Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, M.D. and urologist at Orlando Health.

    So what causes your balls to sag?

    Let’s talk about why your testicles hang off your body in the first place: “They [testicles] like to be a tad bit cooler than the rest of your body because that’s the ideal temperature for sperm production,” Brahmbhatt tells Men’s Health. Lax scrotal skin allows your balls to hang lower, away from your body, when your internal temperature rises, like after the gym. When you’re in a cold room, testicles shrink up closer to your body for warmth.

    With age, skin loses collagen. This causes the dermis to become thin and stretchy. And no, your genitals aren’t excluded from sagging. There isn’t a magical age that these changes begin to occur, but Brahmbhatt says most guys begin to notice a difference in their 60s or 70s.

    What’s normal, and when are saggy balls a problem?

    Of course, some sagging occurs naturally, and there is no “normal” length.

    “I don’t think anyone has ever done a study to measure how much sag is the average all across America,” says Brahmbhatt.

    Typically, low-hanging testicles aren’t a problem unless it impacts your quality of life. Excessive sagging can make it hard to find clothes, sleep, or even go to the bathroom, he says.

    “That stretching can eventually cause pain,” he says.

    However, sometimes testicles may appear saggy due to medical problems. Inguinal hernias, which happen when tissue pokes through abdominal muscles, can make balls appear saggier. So can cysts. If things look awry, go get checked out.

    How to deal with blue balls

    How do I prevent low-hanging balls?

    Your best bet is to follow the basics for maintaining healthy skin, advises Brahmbhatt. This includes not smoking, avoiding sun exposure, limiting alcohol consumption and maintaining a healthy body weight, according to the American Academy of Dermatology.

    Some research indicates that diets heavy in sugar may accelerate aging, according to a paper published in the Journal of Clinical and Aesthetic Dermatology.

    How do you treat saggy testicles?

    You may have heard that certain exercises can prevent balls from sagging. Or that masturbating less can keep balls perky. Neither are true, says Brahmbhatt. And before you turn to Google for all sorts of lotions and potions, there are no medications or creams that work.

    In fact, there is only one tried-and-true treatment: Scrotoplasty. “We basically take the extra skin off and try to tighten it up,” Brahmbhatt explains. However, this is normally only performed when saggy skin impacts a guy’s quality of life.

    How to deal with blue balls

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    • How to Heel in a Tree

    Newly planted trees provide an instant upgrade for the yard. Many trees come balled and burlapped with the roots packaged in soil and wrapped in a burlap covering. Balled-and-burlapped trees require minimal preparation for planting, and you can set the entire root system, burlap included, right into a planting hole. Plant these trees in late winter or early spring so they can establish healthy roots during the summer growing season. Site and soil needs vary depending on the tree, and most require a well-drained location. However, they don’t require special soil preparation.

    Dig the planting hole to a depth 2 inches shallower than the height of the burlapped root ball. Make the hole two to three times as wide.

    Remove any plastic wrapping around the exterior of the root ball. Leave the burlap and twine in place.

    Set the tree in the prepared planting hole so the top of the root system sits 2 inches above the soil surface.

    Fill the hole around the roots half-full with soil. Water the soil until it’s thoroughly moistened and settled around the lower portion of the root ball.

    Cut and remove the twine that holds the burlap in place. Spread the burlap out over the soil surrounding the root ball.

    Finish filling the hole with soil, then firm it with the back of the shovel blade. The soil line, visible on the tree trunk, should sit level with the surrounding soil when it’s planted at the proper depth.

    Build up a 4-inch-high berm of soil ringing the tree, about 24 inches out from the trunk. Fill the area inside the berm with water and allow it to soak slowly into the ground. Water with this method every seven to 10 days until the tree is fully rooted, which can take between three and six months.

    Proud sweetgum tree owners know the plant’s glossy, green summer glow and rainbow fall leaves can’t be beaten. But captivating colors just don’t make up for those prickly brown balls that get everywhere.

    Ashley, a Davey blog reader from Connecticut, recently asked, “Any thoughts about preventing an American sweetgum tree from dropping its spiky balls? I researched online about injections you can give the tree. It is a beautiful tree, and I would hate to get rid of it because of those pesky things!”

    Like Ashley, you’ve probably heard about injections to stop the balls from growing. But are they effective or even safe? Keep reading to learn more ways to tackle this prickly problem.

    When Sweetgum Ball Trees Fall – And How to Stop It

    When do sweetgum tree balls fall? And why?

    The spiky clusters are actually balls of fruit with tiny seeds inside that birds and squirrels snack on.

    By mid-fall, the balls are dead and seedless. Just like leaves, they must fall, so the tree can prep for new growth. The only difference is sweetgum balls drop all fall and winter.

    Are sweetgum tree balls edible?

    While they’re not edible, the balls can double as spiky mulch to keep animals away from young plants. You can even get creative and use them to make holiday trinkets or decorative balls for bowls.

    How to Get a Sweetgum Tree to Stop Producing Balls

    Getting back to Ashley’s question, using injections on your sweetgum tree is tricky because the timing has to be just right. For the best chance of stopping the sweetgum balls, hire a certified arborist.

    The tree needs the injections right before it flowers in spring. Then, the flowers drop, preventing the balls from ever forming. It’s a narrow but critical window. At Davey, our arborists pinpoint the best application time each year using Nature Clock, a patent-pending software application that predicts bloom time and peak pest emergence.

    There are also a few DIY growth-regulating sprays that contain ethephon. Follow the directions precisely as too much could stunt or stress your tree. Again, the timing is super important here, and often, there’s only one week a year you can stop the balls entirely. Otherwise, your sweetgum tree will still produce balls–though they’ll be smaller.

    What Fruitless Sweetgum Tree to Plant as an Alternative

    If you want to say goodbye to those balls for good (without yearly treatments), replace your tree with a fruitless sweetgum tree.

    The roundleaf sweetgum is well-known as the tidy alternative to fruiting sweetgum trees.

    It brings all the same charm that other sweetgum trees do: the star-shaped leaves, spectacular fall color and tall stature. Best of all, the roundleaf sweetgum grows super fast.

    I have a bit of a problem – void salamanders I can’t defeat on one side of the hideout in the Hollow Marshes and the noxious bulb traps on the other. I can run through their effect fields and just heal aggressively after, but it’d be a lot nicer if I could destroy them somehow.

    I tried having my enchantress cast a few spells and fired a few shots from a crossbow, but the health bars on the bulbs stayed full. Inspecting them turned up the fact that they’re at 100% resistance to every damage type. So, is there anything I can do to get rid of them?

    How to deal with blue balls

    4 Answers 4

    Either teleport them away or hit them with their own elemental damage type

    You can use either teleport or a character with high telekinesis to displace them and put them somewhere where they are out of the way, or you can disable them: Deal damage directly to them of their corresponding type and they will become disabled, until they are damaged directly by a different elemental damage type.

    E.g. for green Bulbs, a poison dart targeted directly at them will disable them, though it will not deplete their health

    How to deal with blue balls

    The easiest thing to do is to be undead. Undead are immune to poison and can just walk through the poison clouds. Just unchain your party undead (or get Fane, if you don’t have one), let him walk through the poison clouds, activate the waypoint and get the rest of your party.

    The other option is to get them out of the way. Use the teleport spell or get telekinesis on a character to move them somewhere, where they don’t annoy you.

    Use a bedroll to instantly heal

    You mention “healing aggressively” – do you have a bedroll? One click out of combat will fully heal your party. There is a bedroll item near the very beginning of the game, on an overlook/ruined bridge right before you first encounter Dallis and the Fort Joy Proper. This way, you can tank the damage from the clouds and not waste resources topping up or waiting several turns for your Restoration spell to come off of cooldown.

    Use a skill to get up and over

    Other methods to circumvent the bulbs, and certainly many other cloud hazards and the like, are: Teleport (Aerothurge), Tactical Retreat (Marksman), Phoenix Dive (Warfare), and Cloak and Dagger (Scoundrel).

    All of these abilities allow your character to either move themself or another object.

    Divinity is flexible – it’s up to you

    Personally I took my party through a cloud, ate the damage, and used my bedroll to heal up when I needed to. Later in the game, as well as in my co-op campaign, I have been circumventing many obstacles with Bull Rush (can move you through locked doors you have line of sight through) and Phoenix Dive/Teleport.

    Divinity is a diverse, flexible game and I’ve no doubt the other answers have credence as well. Hitting them with a similar element to disable them does honestly seem like the simplest choice if you have that resource, but not every party has access to every elemental damage type.

    New Golf Balls

    Find the Best New Golf Balls

    The new technologies found on today’s golf courses are getting more impressive every day. Even new golf balls are marvels of physics and engineering. The major golf manufacturers alter the layers, coverings, and simple patterns to improve distance, spin, and control. Taylormade Golf Balls, Callaway Golf Balls, and the infinitely popular Titleist Golf Ball Pro V1 are reshaping the game for golfers of all levels.

    The features of these technically engineered high-performance golf balls can add a new dimension to any golf game. Features like the ionomer casing layer in the Titleist Tour Speed Golf Ball can enhance ball speed and minimize long game spin. The Spalding Pure Speed Golf Ball is also designed to boost ball speed. It does this with a titanium core. This type of core magnifies the energy of the swing to drive more power through the ball.

    Another example of technology used in new golf balls is the Callaway Chrome Soft Triple Track Golf Balls which uses three Triple Track lines for advanced golf ball alignment to improve putting accuracy. Ball makers use even dimple patterns to deliver a more remarkable performance. The Bridgestone Tour XS Golf Ball uses dual dimple technology to increase the flight and distance of the ball.

    New Golf Balls FAQ

    Are dimples on a golf ball just for decoration?

    How to deal with blue ballsNo, golf ball dimple patterns can affect the ball’s flight path and are taken into consideration by the golf ball manufacturer’s during development.

    Can you use the same golf ball over and over?

    No, all golf balls are subject to wear and tear on the course during gameplay. And this can impact your performance and degrade the ball’s performance over time.

    Aren’t all golf balls essentially the same?

    No, golf balls vary with different layers and materials that can affect the way they perform on the course. An example is the Titleist Pro V1 Golf Ball with multiple layers that provide distance with control.

    What is a golf ball suited for beginners?

    The Srixon Soft Feel Golf Balls are moderately priced and have a soft feel more suited for beginners due to their forgiveness.

    Why do golf balls have layers?

    Layers allow golf ball manufacturers to alter the performance characteristics of the ball. This can give the golfer different advantages on the course.

    Believed to have been a target of the Mets, the 2017 World Series M.V.P. signed the largest contract in Blue Jays history.

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    How to deal with blue balls

    George Springer will not be coming to Queens. The star center fielder, seen by many as the jewel of this season’s free-agent class, reached an agreement with the Toronto Blue Jays on Tuesday for a six-year, $150 million contract.

    The deal, which is pending a physical, was confirmed by a person in baseball with knowledge of the agreement who was not authorized to speak publicly.

    Springer, 31, is leaving the Houston Astros after seven seasons that included a World Series victory and a cheating scandal. He was believed to be one of the prime targets for the Mets in an expensive rebuild after the purchase of the team by Steven A. Cohen.

    While the Mets have bucked a leaguewide trend by aggressively going after players this off-season — they traded for the superstar shortstop Francisco Lindor and signed multiple free agents — they have resisted overpaying for the top free agents, a group that included Springer and D.J. LeMahieu, who re-signed with the Yankees for $90 million over six years.

    The move came a day after the Mets fired their new general manager, Jared Porter, a former Chicago Cubs executive, after a published report that he harassed a female reporter.

    In Springer, the Blue Jays get a power-hitting outfielder who defends well and has shown an ability to rise to the moment in the postseason. He was once the poster boy for a burgeoning dynasty in Houston, appearing on a Sports Illustrated cover in 2014 that correctly predicted the Astros would be World Series champions in 2017. Springer hit five home runs in that seven-game series and was named its most valuable player.

    While Springer has continued to produce, averaging just under 25 home runs a season in his time in Houston, his accomplishments, and those of his team, were tarnished by a complicated sign-stealing scheme that resulted in multiple suspensions and firings — but did not lead to punishments for any of the players involved.

    Now he heads to the Blue Jays, a youthful team that ended a streak of three consecutive losing seasons by going 32-28 in the pandemic-shortened 2020 season, losing to the Tampa Bay Rays in the wild-card round. The $150 million contract is the largest in franchise history, surpassing the one for Vernon Wells, also a center fielder, who signed for $126 million over seven years in 2006.

    Springer hit 14 home runs with an on-base plus slugging percentage of .899 in 2020. Those numbers were in line with his career averages, but were a step down from 2019 when he set career highs with 39 homers and an O.P.S. of .974. He turns 32 in September and will be 37 at the end of his new contract.

    The Blue Jays can surround Springer with plenty of young talent, including third baseman Vladimir Guerrero Jr., shortstop Bo Bichette and right fielder Teoscar Hernandez. The team’s rotation is anchored by Hyun-jin Ryu, a finalist for the Cy Young Award in 2020, who signed a four-year, $80 million contract with Toronto last off-season.

    Toronto, Major League Baseball’s only team currently based in Canada, played its home games in Buffalo last season because of travel restrictions related to the pandemic. It has not yet been announced how the team will handle the coming season.

    By Rhoberta Shaler, PhD — Written on Dec 08, 2017

    How to deal with blue balls

    I have a friend with a passive-aggressive streak. In so many ways, she’s a great friend and colleague, and I love her. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, that savage streak — it strikes when least expected, and it makes my head spin for a moment before I recognize what’s up.

    If you have a relationship with someone — a friend, parent or partner — whose weapon of choice is a passive-aggressive remark or behavior, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Their comment hits you and, at first, it almost sounds logical, and maybe even justified, but then you realize you’re confused and strangely annoyed, and it all happened in a split second.

    You think, “There’s something not right here. What is it?” Stop for a moment, recognize the feeling, and take stock. The normal flow would have you just responding to them, doing what you figure they want you to do. You justify it by saying it’s easier that way.

    But it’s not and there are better ways to handle the situation. Don’t complain about them; instead, learn how to deal with passive-aggressive people and stop enabling them.

    Enabling them is simply making it easier for them to keep doing what they’re doing. You accommodate them or appease them by doing what they want, and you just became part of the very problem you hate. You’re now not only playing the passive-aggressive game, you signed up for the team.

    The excuses, reasons, and justifications for passive-aggressive people are just under-handed ways to get you to do what they want you to do without really asking. They’re attempts to get the upper hand, wield some power over you, and get off scot-free themselves, taking no responsibility for what they want, what they are unwilling to provide, or for their part in the interaction.

    Perhaps it’s something as seemingly benign as this. A couple is in bed and the man asks, “Who’s going to get up and turn off the light?” Seems like an OK question, right? But it is rife with passive-aggressive drippings. It’s passive because he avoids asking his real questions “Are you going to turn off the light?” or “Will you turn off the light?”

    Instead, he sets it up to make his partner offer to get up and turn off the darn light because he doesn’t want to. She often doesn’t know why his comment makes her cross, and it seems like such a petty thing anyway. So, she thinks, “Why not just do it? It’s not worth arguing about.”

    But when she stops to think about it, this behavior happens a lot, and in many different scenarios. She feels frustrated, but often hasn’t taken the time to realize that it’s a pattern, and it’s annoying, maddening, and crazy-making. It’s not a petty thing; it’s an example of passive-aggressive manipulation.

    If she accommodates it without assertiveness, she’s enabling the behavior. And that just ensures that it continues. But here’s what you need to know about this behavior and how to deal with passive-aggressive people:

    1. Their behavior is sneaky, so respond in kind, honest ways.

    What the passive-aggressive person says is not neutral. It’s charged with underlying anger, often in the form of resentment or entitlement that he or she may not even recognize, know about, or admit to. That anger is often hidden in the way they deliver their words. Sometimes served up while the person looks you straight in your eyes, defying you to make a fuss.

    Other times, they arrive furtively, like throwaway remarks, with the hope that you will not react negatively. Each is a misguided attempt to get you to do for them what they are unable or unwilling to do for themselves.

    When you do what they want, you get this duped feeling. You can’t quite bring yourself to say no, yet you feel like you’ve been had. Often, you can’t quite put your finger on why.

    It seems petty to make a fuss and let your feathers get ruffled. You justify it in your own mind with things like, “It won’t kill me to do it,” “They are not asking much,” or “Why make a fuss? It’s easier to just do it.”

    Those moments of caving in to their behavior become a pattern. You repeatedly engage in playing the passive-aggressive game. And you don’t like it.

    2. It’s about power, so keep it in balance.

    When living or working with passive-aggressive people, just their passivity alone can make you feel bad about being assertive with them, especially if you don’t know better. That’s their ploy; they want to tip the power balance in their favor. They want to get you to do things, or feel things, or think things that allow them to feel like they “made” you do something.

    And, at the same time, they want you to believe that you doing so had nothing to do with them at all. It’s all on you. (They got their way and yet are not responsible.)

    The conversation might sound like this:

    P-A: “Can you come home early tonight so we can spend some time together?”
    You: “Sure. I can do that.”
    P-A: “Great! I’ll look forward to it.”

    You find yourself alone and upset at 9 PM with no partner in sight. Finally, he arrives.

    You: “What happened to coming home early to spend time together tonight?”
    P-A: “Don’t you realize that my job is important and I can’t just get away when you want me to?”
    You: “Why did you say you would, then?”
    P-A: “You are unreasonable. I don’t think it is too much to ask to have a more understanding partner.”

    See how the power shifted? First, they seem to share your desire to spend time together, so you think all is well. Then, the power shifts as the passive-aggressive behavior creates the emotional u-turn.

    In a New York second it magically shifts from them not taking responsibility for agreeing to coming home early, to you suddenly showing a lack of reason and understanding by even asking such a thing. That’s what leaves you second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity.

    3. It takes two to be passive-aggressive. Stop playing.

    Related Stories From YourTango:

    They ask, “Who’s going to get up and turn off the light?” and you respond, “I don’t know.” This is an honest answer that offers the possibility for the asker to respond with a more direct question, or an assertive response.

    But when you know there is a passive-aggressive pattern in your relationship, don’t expect an assertive response because assertiveness and passive-aggressiveness cannot occupy the same space. You may not even get a more direct question.

    Because you don’t want to play the passive-aggressive game, another response might be, “I’m not,” or “Are you asking if I will turn off the light?” This demonstrates that you’re not going to play.

    It’s important to remove yourself from that passive-aggressive power game. You do that by being assertive and clear in your response. You may have to summon up some courage to start changing your responses, but it will save your sanity and demonstrate your unwillingness to continue playing.

    Power games kill relationships. Sneaky behavior is dishonest. But remember, it take two to play the passive-aggressive game. When you quit playing, everything changes. These crazy-making patterns will only stop if you stop enabling them.

    Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent care for relationships in crisis. She helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic, and disturbing people she calls “Hijackals®.” You can work with her directly by visiting For Relationship Help.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Collectors frequently refer to these numbers as “mold numbers.” However, in some cases, this term oversimplifies what the numbers represented.

    Originally when jars were blown by hand, the number represented a specific glass blower and his team. At the end of the day the blower and his team would get paid for the amount of jars they produced as determined by the number of jars made with a given number on them. I.E. glassblower #3 made 200 jars that day and he and his team therefore gets paid X number of dollars at X cents per jar produced. Later, when glass making went to machine the numbers represented the mold or machine the jar was made from (usually 4-8 molds per machine or one to several machines per factory.) That way the plant manager could check quality control, production, etc.

    Today you can frequently find numbers on new jars that indicate date of manufacture, plant location, job number, etc.

    There is a rumor that jars with the number 13 were more valuable because superstitious people were afraid to can in them, broke them or threw them away. However, I have never found any concrete evidence to back up this claim. Lately, these jars have sold for more on on-line auctions such as eBay.

    Another View: Having spoken with many distinguished Southern Gentlemen that grew up during the days of moonshine I was informed by more than one distinguished Southern Gentleman that these bottles were usually broken by the Moonshine Runners because yes they were superstitious and felt like this increased their risk for getting stopped by the law. This tale has been passed on for many years by Southern Moonshiners and their runners.

    How to deal with blue balls

    LaMelo Ball will soon be lacing up his kicks in the NBA, but he won’t be wearing Big Baller Brand.

    The youngest Ball chose to go a different direction than BBB, instead signing a shoe deal with Puma in October. It adds Ball to a burgeoning list of rising stars inked by Puma in recent years, and it means LaMelo has joined his brother Lonzo in going elsewhere rather than re-upping with the family Big Baller Brand started by their father, LaVar.

    “I am really excited to be joining the PUMA family,” Ball said in a statement upon announcing his shoe deal. “I believe the brand is the perfect partner for me because PUMA will allow me to just be myself. I want to be 100-percent authentic whether that’s playing basketball or showing off my personal style and that’s what I want to do with PUMA.

    “I don’t know what normal is,” he added. “I personally chose a different path to achieve my success because that defines who I am. I know some people think I am mysterious or ‘not from here,’ and I might have to agree. I am someone who likes to be different and consider myself to be one of one. That’s the message I want to share in my upcoming projects with PUMA.”

    Here’s more of what you need to know about LaMelo Ball’s decision to sign with Puma.

    How much is LaMelo Ball’s Puma shoe contract worth?

    LaMelo Ball’s Puma shoe deal is reportedly worth $100 million, according to Gerald Flores of Esquire. Flores also wrote that Ball will have access to the Puma private jet.

    Puma’s global director of marketing did discuss the jet with Flores: “Puma does have a jet that we use for many of our players and, of course, he’ll have access to that jet. The value of our contracts sometimes comes down to agents inflating dollars, and that’s okay. It is what it is and it’s part of the culture.”

    A number of years for Ball’s contract with Puma hasn’t been reported.

    Why did LaMelo Ball sign with Puma and not Big Baller Brand?

    It seems like the key words in the statement above are “to just be myself.” Big Baller Brand is the family brand, started in 2016 by the Ball boys’ father, LaVar. It created a lot of hype with some questions about how good the shoes actually were, but with it came less corporation business acumen than any of the major shoe brands would bring.

    Puma is on the rise in the basketball shoe space. They’ve recently signed deals with the Lakers’ Kyle Kuzma, Knicks’ R.J. Barrett and Nuggets’ Michael Porter Jr. Ball is just the latest rising star to join the Puma shoe team after about two decades mostly out of the basketball arena.

    “LaMelo’s physical gifts and dynamic play on the court, as well as his unique sense of personal style, make him a natural fit for Puma,” Puma global director of marketing Adam Petrick said in a statement. “We are thrilled to add him to our roster of talented athletes, and at just 19 years old, we can’t wait to see his impact on the broader culture surrounding basketball.”

    Ball had a signature shoe with Big Baller Brand when he was 16. The “MB1” was worn by LaMelo in his time spent playing overseas in Lithuania and New Zealand. But now LaMelo is distancing himself from the potential of more signature shoes in his father’s company and instead choosing to join an established brand. LaMelo’s brother Lonzo also distanced himself from BBB and doesn’t currently have a shoe deal.

    Duke basketball head coach Mike Krzyzewski has now updated the injury list.

    In a brief clip on Monday from the Duke basketball program’s official Twitter account, Mike Krzyzewski gave fans the type of news that they dread to hear but have nonetheless pretty much come to expect this time of year as the 73-year-old Hall of Famer enters his 41st campaign at the helm in Durham.

    With only days remaining until the 2020-21 Blue Devils tip off their season at home against Gardner-Webb on Nov. 25, Krzyzewski noted injuries to two important forwards on the roster in sophomore stretch-four Matthew Hurt and freshman muscleman Henry Coleman:

    “[Hurt] had a little leg injury [in the first intrasquad scrimmage on Nov. 6]. If we had games last week, he would have played. But we’ve kept him out just to make sure we get him 100 percent — so you don’t go into a season with some little nagging injuries.”

    Krzyzewski continued by providing a tad foggier insight into the status of Coleman:

    “And then [Coleman] tweaked his ankle a little bit in the scrimmage on Friday night [Nov. 13], so we kept him out today. Hopefully, he’ll be back.”

    That last comment regarding Coleman didn’t exactly sound 100 percent promising at the time.

    Now, it seems both players are a go for the final Duke basketball scrimmage

    Judging from Coach K’s comments on Thursday to ACC media members, as Shawn Krest of SI reported, there are now no lingering injury issues for either Coleman or Hurt as the squad prepares for a Friday night “dress rehearsal” intrasquad battle in Cameron Indoor Stadium (be on the lookout for highlights from that on Duke’s YouTube channel):

    “We had a couple of minor injuries. [Hurt] just had a minor leg injury. He would’ve been able to play after a couple of days, but we decided to keep him out for a week. And we’re healthy now.”

    How to deal with blue balls

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    I’m a big fan of comparison websites. They allow you to compare all your options and prices on one screen without having to spend hours researching prices on different websites. In some cases, like car rental, comparison sites can work out really well, with no booking fees, cancellation fees and no payment up front. But when it comes to hotels and accommodation, do comparison websites really get you the best deal? Before you book your next vacation, read this guide to make sure you don’t get ripped off!

    How to deal with blue balls

    Tips to get the Best Hotel Deal

    • Comparison sites like Expedia, Travelocity and Hotels.com are good for doing initial research and comparing your options.
    • Once you narrow down your choices to the hotel (or few hotels) that you would like to stay at, head to the hotel’s own website to see if their price is the same. Often they will have extra room types or prices that they don’t supply to comparison websites.
    • Look on the hotel’s website to see if they have any special deals or coupons.
    • Watch out for booking fees and credit card fees. This is not exclusive to the comparison sites; some hotels also charge for this.
    • Check cancellation and amendments policies before you book. This applies to both comparison websites and the hotel’s own website. Check to see if they charge you a fee for amending or canceling bookings. Your travel insurance may cover this, but it’s easier to get your money back straight from the hotel.
    • Check what’s included in your room rate. Some places will include things like Wi-Fi internet and local calls. Ironically, it’s usually the expensive five-star hotels that charge for these things like a wounded bull!
    • Don’t be afraid to negotiate. Try calling the hotel and see if they can offer a better price, room upgrade, or throw in some extras. This can work well if it’s close to the date and they still have plenty of rooms vacant.
    • Some people swear by bidding sites like Priceline, and others hate them. If you want to give it a shot, Gadling has an excellent guide on how to game Priceline to get the best deal.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Let’s Look at a Real Life Example

    The following example is searching for the same hotel on various websites. In each case I’ll choose the cheapest available rate and highlight any extra costs for the booking. The hotel I’m looking at is in Australia (my home country), but I’ve tried it for several different countries around the world and got similar results.

    Two nights (weekend) at the Mantra on Queen in Brisbane, Australia.

    Hotels.com
    Room: $298.00
    No credit card or booking fees
    Free cancellation until two weeks before the arrival date
    Total: $298.00

    Wotif.com
    Room: $298.00
    Credit card fee: $5.50
    $25 cancellation charge up to two weeks before the arrival date
    Total: $303.50

    Mantra.com.au
    Room: $248.00
    2% credit card surcharge: $4.84
    $25 cancellation charge up to two weeks before the arrival date
    Total: $246.84

    As you can see, even with the credit card surcharge, the hotel’s own website worked out cheaper in this case, as they had rooms that were not advertised on the comparison websites. I should point out that Mantra is quite a large chain of hotels in Australia, so they have some strict terms around cancellation and other fees. I’ve found that if you’re booking at much smaller independent hotels or B&Bs that you can often negotiate much better rates by going direct.

    Do you have a great tip for booking accommodation? Leave your best tactics in the comments below! And before you plan your vacation, don’t forget to check out my guides on getting the best deals on car rental, and how to take great travel photos!

    To help you get the most out of Downy

    How to use Downy

    How to deal with blue balls

    How To Use Liquid Fabric Softeners

    How To Use Liquid Fabric Softeners

    Fabrics just feel better when you use Downy Fabric Conditioner. Downy infuses clothes with wonderful softness, freshness .

    How to deal with blue balls

    Uses And Hacks of Dryer Sheets

    Uses And Hacks of Dryer Sheets

    When it comes to softening clothes, removing static cling and delivering a fresh scent, it’s hard to beat dryer sheets. .

    How to deal with blue balls

    How To Use Downy Wrinkle Guard Fabric Softeners

    How To Use Downy Wrinkle Guard Fabric Softeners

    Upgrade your wrinkle-fighting tactics with Downy WrinkleGuard. Its breakthrough, anti-wrinkle formula penetrates the fib .

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to Use In Wash Scent Beads

    How to Use In Wash Scent Beads

    Are you tired of everyday odors following you around all day? With Downy Fresh Protect you’ll get a motion activated fre .

    How to deal with blue balls

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    Sometimes there’s no time for the finishing touches that help you look and feel your best. But when there’s no time to s .

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to Use Downy Ball – Automatic Fabric Softener Dispenser

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    The Downy Ball is a great way to add Downy В® to your laundry during the rinse cycle without nee .

    The famous jars were used by many a wife and mother to can and preserve food. My own mother canned everything from mint jelly to beans to peaches in syrup. As a very necessary tool in the kitchen, the canning jar helped many families make use of harvests well into winter and beyond. While some food preservation is still done in pottery crocks, glass jars largely replaced stoneware starting in the late 1800s.

    This basic kitchen item brings up vivid memories for us of Mom canning in the kitchen. But did you know that they are collectible? Find out more about the history and collectibility of these common jars.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Jars were used by many a wife and mother to can and preserve food. They canned everything from mint jelly to beans to peaches in syrup. As a very necessary tool in the kitchen, the canning jar helped many families make use of harvests well into winter. While some food preservation is still done in pottery crocks, glass jars largely replaced stoneware starting in the late 1800s. The Mason jar was patented by Landis Mason in 1858 and Ball started producing these jars in 1885. Later, the process was “perfected” by Ball in 1913 when his factory was able to produce both the lid and jar to ensure a perfect fit each time.

    How to deal with blue ballsfrankieleon

    Ball jars were made in various colors, but the blue and clear colors are the most common. In 1976, Ball produced reproductions of the buffalo jars and created Bicentennial jars. In 2013 Ball made the Heritage Collection, which commemorates the 100 year anniversary of the historic 1913 breakthrough in their process. Since then, the company has produced several different modern colors, including purple and green. While colors produced in recent years may look similar, be aware that they have quite different values than the vintage colors. The smaller and more common vintage jars usually sell for less than $20. However, the vintage green jars or those with special wire carriers can sell in excess of $300.

    How to deal with blue ballsDon O’brien

    The logo is the best way to date the jars because the Ball logo changed throughout the years. Click here for a handy chart that gives dates for the different logos used. Note that the numbers on the bottom refer to mold numbers and not to model numbers.

    Ball jars are an excellent area to collect in because they are abundant and can be found at many locations and for often-low price points. And, if you keep your eye out, you never know when you’ll find a much older or more rare Ball jar.

    Better Health Information from Doctors.

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    • What Makes the Top of Your Foot to Swell?

    Many things can make the top of your foot to swell. Standing too long or certain serious issues like heart or kidney disease can cause this condition.

    The medical term for swelling in the feet and ankles is edema. So many things can cause edema. It may happen due to high blood pressure or you may have to deal with this situation during pregnancy. This usually happens when your body cannot fight gravity to move fluids and blood back up from your legs. This causes swelling in your feet, ankles, and even legs. Some people experience this when they stay in a standing position for extended period. Keep reading to learn more about this condition.

    How to deal with blue balls

    Causes of Swelling on Top of Foot

    Edema can be of two types – pitting and non-pitting. If you press the swollen area for five seconds and the skin becomes indented, you have pitting edema. This dent won’t appear in non-pitting edema. The swelling is usually painless; if it’s accompanied by pain, please consult your doctor.

    Most people experience swelling on top of their foot/ feet usually due to inflammation. This inflammation may be caused by infections. In this case, you will experience warmth, redness, and pain in the affected area. Repetitive injury from running with bad shoes may also cause inflammation and swelling on the foot.

    Here’s explanation on major causes of swelling on top of foot:

    1. Infection and Diabetes

    Swelling in the feet and ankles is sometimes a sign of infection.You are at a greater risk if you already have diabetic neuropathy or other nerve problems. People with diabetes need to see their doctors immediately after noticing any sores and blisters on feet. They do not usually feel pain due to nerve damage.

    2. Rheumatoid Arthritis

    This long-term condition causes swelling, pain, and stiffness in the joints. You will notice your foot become stiff. The condition can be quite painful and affects other joints in your body as well.

    3. Gout

    It is characterized by severe attacks of redness, pain, and tenderness in joints. An attack of gout may occur suddenly, even when you are sleeping. The pain is usually so excruciating that it wakes you up in the middle of the night. It feels as if your big toe is on fire. Your affected joint will be hot to touch and tender. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs and corticosteroids help relieve the pain. It is also important to make some lifestyle changes. For instance:

    • Limit drinks sweetened with fructose
    • Avoid alcoholic beverages
    • Drink plenty of water
    • Avoid food like organ meat, red meat, seafood, and other food high in purines
    • Exercise regularly and maintain a healthy body weight

    4. Blood Clot

    If a blood clot develops in the veins of the legs, it will keep blood from moving back up to the heart. This will cause swelling in the feet and ankles. Blood clots can be life threatening if they block a major vein of the legs.

    5. Venous Insufficiency

    Swelling on top of foot and ankles may well be an early symptom of venous insufficiency, a condition in which blood fails to move adequately from feet to the heart. This usually happens when the one-way valves that keep blood flowing upward become damaged. The blood starts to leak back down the vessels and accumulates in the soft tissue of the lower legs.

    6. Complications of Pregnancy

    It is normal to experience some swelling of the feet and ankles during pregnancy, but sudden swelling may well be a sign of preeclampsia, a condition in which your blood pressure rises quickly. This will also release protein in the urine after you are 20 weeks pregnant.

    7. Liver, Heart, or Kidney Disease

    Swelling may indicate a problem with liver, hear, or kidney. If your ankles swell in the evening, this may be because your body retains salt and water. This may happen due to right-sided heart failure. Any problems with kidneys will keep them from functioning properly, which will lead to fluid buildup in the body. Liver disease may lower the levels of albumin in the blood that keeps it from leaking out of the blood vessels.

    8. Thyroid Problems

    Low thyroid levels will produce symptoms such as hair loss, fatigue, dry skin, etc. This may also cause swelling on top of your foot.

    9. Lymphedema

    In this condition, the tissues will accumulate lymphatic fluid mainly because there is some problem with lymph vessels or you have removed your lymph nodes. This usually happens after the removal lymph nodes in cancer patients.

    10. Other Causes

    In addition, you may experience swelling in your feet and ankles due to aging, PMS, menstruation, and obesity. Consuming too much alcohol and diet with too much of salt may also lead to swelling. Living in high altitudes or using medications such as anti-depressants, diabetes medicines, steroids, high-estrogen birth-control pills, and calcium channel blockers may also cause swelling in legs.

    When to Worry

    You should talk to your doctor if your swelling persists and you experience other symptoms such as fever, pain, warmth, and redness. Seek immediate medical help if your swelling has not responded to self-care measures. Talk to your obstetrician if you are pregnant and have developed swollen feet all of a sudden.

    Take a test HERE to confirm if you need to worry about your swollen feet and ankles:

    Swelling On Top of Foot: Finding Relief

    Now, you know that so many things can make the top of foot to swell, so it is important to identify the root cause of trouble to select the most appropriate treatment. Taking the following steps will help reduce swelling and pain:

    • Keep your legs elevated above heart level for 15 minutes, 3-4 times a day
    • Take anti-inflammatory medication and limit mobility for some time
    • Use leg wedges when sleeping
    • Wear proper footwear and use support socks
    • Drink plenty of water and limit your salt intake
    • Do not stand for extended period
    • Do not overuse drugs or laxatives

    Taking these steps will help prevent swollen feet. Also, keep an eye on what causes your feet to swell. If a certain activity leads to swelling, you may want to avoid it as much as possible. Simple lifestyle changes will go a long way in resolving the issue.

    Kerry Michaels is a container gardening expert with over 20 years of experience maintaining container gardens in Maine. She specializes in writing and capturing photography for gardening and landscape design for print and broadcast media, including the Discovery Channel, Small Gardens, and Disney, among others.

    How to deal with blue balls

    How to deal with blue balls

    The Spruce / Phoebe Cheong

    Plants purchased in containers at a garden center may look fine in the store, but there are usually some that have become root-bound—with dense roots that are tightly packed into the container. You might think that a plant with lots of dense roots is a better choice than a plant with sparse roots, but this is actually not the case. If the problem is not corrected before planting in the garden, a root-bound plant often just keeps developing its roots in a tight circular fashion and never sends those roots out into the surrounding soil. This can hinder good growth habit and even cause the plant to eventually choke itself. A much better choice is a plant with a loose root ball, with plenty of loose, bare soil around the roots.

    Identifying a Root-Bound Plant

    Before you buy a plant, turn the plant over and examine the bottom of the container. If you see roots poking through the drainage holes, chances are good that the specimen is root-bound (the condition is sometimes known as being pot-bound). Severely root-bound plants may even be hard to remove from the pot since the roots can be firmly entwined through the drainage holes.

    It is also perfectly fine to inspect the root ball by sliding the entire plant out of its container. Knowledgeable gardeners do this all the time when shopping for plants, both with potted herbaceous plants and even small shrubs and trees. Garden center personnel have no problem with this, provided you don’t damage the plant while you inspect it. Simply grab the plant by its main stem between your thumb and forefinger and lift it up while tugging downward on the pot. You only need to extract a few inches of the root ball to know whether the plant is root-bound. If you see a dense mass of white encircling roots around the edge of the soil, this is not a plant you want to buy. This kind of root ball may easily slide out of the container in a mass of white roots formed into a hard ball. A plant becomes root-bound for a number of reasons, none of them good ones. The specimen may have been neglected—the extreme development of roots may be a response to not getting enough nutrients or water as the plant was growing.

    The ideal specimen will reveal a few white roots exposed around the perimeter of the root ball, with plenty of dark soil also visible. The root ball may begin to crumble slightly as you extract the root ball from the container. This is an ideal specimen to buy.

    How to Fix a Root-Bound Plant

    Ideally, there are enough choices of a given type of plant for you to inspect several specimens until you find one with the ideal root structure. If your choice is limited to the one root-bound plant available, there are ways to improve the chances of success in the garden.

    Untangle the Roots Before Planting

    You can start to help the plant recover by untangling the roots with your fingers before planting. If you can tease the root-ball into a loose bundle of hair-like roots bristling out from the plant, these roots will more easily find their way into surrounding soil once you plant the specimen in your garden.

    Cut Slits in the Root Ball, If Needed

    If the roots resist untangling by hand, you can even cut slits into the root ball with a knife or sharp garden trowel. Most plants are quite tough, and by severing the roots you make it easier for the plant to send new roots out into the surrounding garden soil. Some gardeners slice the root balls as a matter of course whenever planting a specimen, no matter if it is a mature shrub in a gallon container or tiny seedlings in a bedding plant six-pack. Make a series of vertical slits along the sides, then slice a deep X in the bottom surface of the root ball before planting. With small six-pack plants, it’s usually enough just to slightly tear at the root ball with your fingers before you plant each one.

    Shrubs and trees are particularly vulnerable to becoming root-bound since they are often grown in pots for several years until they are mature enough to be placed for sale. These larger plants are often expensive and represent an investment for the homeowner. If you plan to do your own landscaping with these larger plants, follow planting instructions and make sure the roots are divided well and spread out in the planting hole. A little extra effort starting out can save time and another trip to the nursery for a replacement.

    Being “touched out” is something moms—and especially breastfeeding moms—know intimately. We provide answers for coping when you just really need a break from physical contact.

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    How to deal with blue balls

    Dare to mention to your mom friends that you sometimes daydream about being Snow White. Go on to explain it’s not for the rest she gets or her cooking/cleaning skills. It’s about the glass structure that was built around her to keep people’s hands off her while she slept. I’m betting you will be met with some variation of, “Oh, you’ll miss all the cuddles someday.” It may or may not be accompanied with that eyebrow—you know, the one that is sympathetic and yet, also seems judgmental.

    How could you not want those little hands in yours? Those antsy little hands. Those antsy little grubby hands. Those antsy little grubby hands attached to that body that seems unable to just sit still for one second on your lap. Those antsy little grubby hands attached to that squiggly, wiggly body that just whacked you in the face with Barbie. Yep friends, I’ll totally miss explaining how Barbie gave me a shiner to my kickboxing class. I’ll miss looking down at my feet and seeing bruise upon bruise from the kids literally walking on my feet because being next to me isn’t enough (I am pretty great.) Honestly, I just want one full day when no one touches me—not my kids, not my partner. No one.

    Clearly, I’m feeling “touched out.” And thankfully it’s becoming more common for moms to talk about what we are feeling. Being touched out is when a parent is tapped by their children, significant other, and even that dang dog for physical comfort throughout the day and becomes irritable as a result of missing out on their autonomy. Some may compare it to parenting burnout, but feeling touched out can go beyond parenting to affect the relationship between partners.

    Some moms go as far as saying they don’t want to hug, kiss, or be intimate in any way with their partner after a full day of being clung to by their kids. They physically cringe at the idea of being touched even one more time during the day.

    The reasons that this occurs might vary slightly, but it could relate to a 2018 survey that found parents only have 32 minutes to themselves a day—and that was before the pandemic. These days, moms are carrying the load of child care and housework and COVID-19 burnout can be overwhelming.

    After reviewing this topic with Mary Kay Fleming, Ph.D., a former professor specializing in human development, early childhood, and parenting at Mount St. Joseph University in Ohio, more possibilities emerged. Dr. Fleming pointed out that in past generations women were socialized into the full-time motherhood role—they were not expected to be a mother and also be full-time professionals. She also pinpointed that the technological advancements meant to make our life easier have actually made us feel like we are on call 24/7. In short, some of the pressure being felt by mothers that are touched out could be a culmination of all the demands, not just the direct physical demand of a child. A physical roadblock is the easiest to see and address, therefore it becomes the thing we feel and struggle against.

    So, what can be done about this? Luckily, Dr. Fleming offered some advice.

    Take a Break

    “Taking a break can be the absolute best treatment in certain situations,” says Dr. Fleming. “Moms need time to themselves and time away to refresh, refocus, and replenish that deep reservoir needed to nurture.” This is not something that should be applied in infancy as a baby that cries is truly in need and Dr. Fleming makes sure to point out that allowing an infant to cry is not advisable. Instead, ask for help. If someone else is there to care for the baby, that is the best way to get a moment to yourself.

    Communicate

    “The adults need to communicate with one another about their needs and expectations, for one another and for their children, and get on the same page,” explains Dr. Fleming. That’s the real key to happiness. Two parents in the same home are part of a collective endeavor—the most important ones of their lives—they are building something special together. If they don’t support each other, the kids will pay the price.” This involves the boundaries set for the children and the time spent together. All things can be talked out.

    Direct the Touching

    Instead of touching solely focused on caregiving for others, add in touching that is beneficial to your well-being. Maybe a massage or a pedicure. Carolyn Wagner, a Chicago-area therapist at the Wilmette Counseling Center specializing in maternal mental health, says, “Doing something that is focused solely on taking care of yourself, and including touch as a main component, is a great way to remind yourself and your body that being close and connected to others can be fulfilling and positive.”

    Battle Those Unrealistic Expectations

    “Another enemy is unrealistic expectations,” says Dr. Fleming. “If we expect ourselves to give 100 percent all the time—with anything less perceived as failure—we’re doomed before we begin. No one can meet those expectations.” Be kind to yourself while you walk through the different milestones and needs of your child. You will have bad days and you will have good days. Understand that and keep your internal dialogue similar to what you would say to a struggling friend.

    When an owner or fellow housemate passes away, dogs show signs that could be interpreted as grief. They may experience:
    • loss of appetite
    • change in sleep patterns
    • crying
    • searching
    • a need for extra attention
    • a generally sad demeanour

    But you should also note you may not witness any of these changes.

    Do dogs grieve?

    Many anecdotes suggest that animals do feel what humans call ‘grief’, including an understanding that the deceased is not coming back, but there is little scientific evidence to back this up. What we do know is that many species are affected by loss and experience feelings of sadness and loneliness.

    When a person or pet with whom a dog has spent a lot of time passes away, their regular routine is likely to change. Dogs can become upset or stressed by this disruption and you may notice a change in their behaviour, including the signs listed above.

    Dogs may also react if they become aware that you are grieving. Humans’ behaviour changes when they are visibly upset and your pet may pick up on this or experience confusion.

    Dogs may show no signs at all when another pet in the home passes away. If there was no particular bond between the deceased pet and the surviving dog, you may find your dog appears unaffected by the loss.

    How can I help my grieving dog?

    The best thing you can do is be there for your dog. Dogs are creatures of habit, so keeping their routine as close to normal as possible is a good way to avoid the stress of disruption. Keep meal times the same and don’t change their diet. Make sure they are eating, drinking and toileting properly.

    Dogs may experience anxiety when a person or pet they spent a lot of time with no longer comes through the door at the same time each evening, or isn’t there to share in the excitement of going out for a walk. It’s ok to comfort your dog if they come to you for a cuddle.

    Praise your dog for calm behaviour and ignore the behaviour that it’s best not to encourage. It’s utterly heartbreaking to see your dog waiting hopefully for a family member who you know is not going to return, but try not to fuss your dog while they wait as you will encourage them to continue waiting. Instead, either leave your pet be or encourage them away from their waiting spot to come and play with you instead.

    Pheromones may help to calm dogs that are stressed. Ask your vet about these.

    Take the time to focus on your bond with your surviving pet. Think about what makes them happy and do more than that. For some dogs this might be getting lots of fuss, and for others it might be training, play or longer walks. Human or animal, loss affects us all, but we cope best when we care for each other.

    Should I show the body of my dead pet to my surviving dog?

    If your family pet has died from a cause that doesn’t pose a risk of infection to your surviving dog, and you feel comfortable doing so, you can show your dog the body of your deceased pet.

    Do be aware that the body may smell differently to when your pet was alive, and this may upset your dog and cause them to react in a way that is not as calm and ‘respectful’ as you might hope. Remember that dogs will not have the same awareness of respect for the dead as people.

    Should I get another pet to keep my surviving dog company?

    When a pet passes away it can be tempting to get another quickly, not only for your own benefit, but so your surviving pet will have another companion, but don’t rush into this decision.

    Dogs are sociable animals that live in family groups, so your surviving dog is likely to adapt well to a new canine if the pair are a good match.

    Introductions should be carried out slowly.

    Only get a new pet if you feel it is the right thing for you, your family, and your pets.