How to deal with drama

How to deal with drama

I never had mama drama before — until this Fall.

Now? I’m officially terrified for when my kid starts elementary school next year.

The mom in question was a mother of one of my daughter’s preschool classmates. Our kids were butting heads daily at the beginning of the school year in typical 4-year-old-girl fashion. I was familiar with these little 4-year-old-girl battles, as I had taught preschool and pre-K before. These things happen, and they were common developmental issues that come up for girls and preschool-aged children. I approached her with a smile and friendly demeanor, but she was so agitated, I thought she would burn holes right into my soul with her eyes. She was nasty to me in front of our two kids at a class birthday party (thankfully it was at the end of the party), and I was floored. I had never experienced that before. All I told her was that our cuties were both strong-willed and learning to take turns, play leader, and test each other’s limits of “who’s the top dog,” essentially. That all we could do was work with our littles and let the teachers manage as they had been, but it wasn’t enough for her. She wanted to battle, but I wasn’t about to engage with a volatile opponent who shouldn’t have been “my opponent” to begin with.

Instead, I left her with a smile and walked away thinking to myself, “I will avoid this woman at all costs.” She had me literally shaking in my calf-high boots with her aggression.

How could I have avoided this bit of “mama drama?” I couldn’t have, but what I did do was handle the drama the right way. The next time you get yourself entangled in mama drama or stress with a neighborhood or school mom, try these tactics:

Don’t Get Heated

I am not hotheaded, but I am emotional, so for me to hold back tears can be difficult. If you’re hotheaded, not firing back during a round of mama drama is challenging, but you can do it. Remind yourself of these things:

Is getting angry worth the hassle? Once you react to someone’s dramatic nonsense, you end up entangled in a situation that will only get worse. Is it worth it?

If you react explosively, will this person hear your words? Typically when you react out of anger or hurt, you’re not speaking logically and nothing will be accomplished.

How will this come back to bite you in the butt? Women talk. Be cautious.

Breathe deep, and if you feel you can’t say anything nice at all, walk away.

Tell the mother you will speak with her when she calms down, because right now, no one will listen to each other while angry.

Smile and say, “I am sorry you feel that way. Perhaps we can talk another time when you are feeling better.”

Ask, “Can we find a quiet place to speak?” Removing the drama from roving eyes is a wise idea, since sometimes other people like to add fuel to the fire.

Remember that this mom may be under stress or dealing with issues way beyond the petty issue she is upset about today. Most likely, the anger is stemming from something else in her life. Try to have empathy.

In my case, I stayed positive and had empathy. The mom had a young new baby and I could see she was stressed, so in order to get through the issue with class, I approached her warmly and with honesty, keeping in mind that there was something else clearly lingering inside of her that had nothing to do with me. I was just the lucky “dumping ground.” I also never raised my voice or fired back to her comments. Instead, I stated facts and spoke in a matter-of-fact way. By the end of the talk, she was calmer and the tension faded away.

Avoid

If there is a mother who constantly likes to fight with you or engage you in battles, avoid and ignore at all costs. Even still, if you know a mother who is nice to you but often talks about others, avoid at all costs. Eventually, she will be talking about you, too!

Step Away From the Audience

People are nosy. It’s our nature. Stay away from the audience. If a fight or “drama” unfolds with others around you, ask the person to step away to speak somewhere quietly. If she cannot honor that request, walk away.

Be Kind and Have Empathy

I will never know that mom’s true story, and that’s OK. I tried to offer empathy and realize that for her, the moment and her life were stressful. I could see it in her face. As a mom who is going through a divorce, I understand having silent stressors to deal with. When approached by a mom who’s ready to lock horns with you, tell yourself that she is fighting battles you don’t know about, and no matter how nasty she may get, be kind. At the end of the day, you are only in control of your own actions. Be able to say you did the right thing. Besides, how do you expect to ask your kids to “turn the other cheek” and have class if you can’t?

Don’t Participate

Don’t allow the situation to blow up so that the two of you are forming gangs, West Side Story style. This will only allow the drama to roll on!

Gossip Crowd

If a mama drama brawl erupts, don’t partake in the gossip after. If people are speaking unfairly about you, approach the people you actually care about and ignore the others. People will talk — let them. It’s not your job to be liked by everyone or to care how others feel about you. For the people you care about, tell them the straight facts once and only once, and don’t contribute to small petty talk or bring up the drama repeatedly. Let it die like all gossip does.

Life happens and we will all run into people and other mothers who don’t like us. It’s up to us to handle these scuffles with class and go on living our lives exactly as we had planned. Not everyone will love you, and that’s OK!

The master manipulator beneath the helpless pleas

Posted August 9, 2012

I reached over to answer the phone—3:00 a.m., obviously an emergency. But it was only Sandy, calling to complain about her neighbor. “I know it’s late but I just had to call. You’re the only one who understands. . .” Exhausted and resentful, I’d just been ambushed by a Drama Queen. I’ve known them all my life.

Charismatic, colorful, and compelling, these people (and there are drama kings out there too) sweep you up into their personal melodramas. They need you to help solve some urgent problem. So you do. And then there’s another problem and another until you realize that for these people, problems are a way of life. They want an audience. They crave attention, using urgent problems to control you. By responding to their demands, your life becomes hijacked by their daily dramas.

When I was in grad school, I had two drama queens in my life—Sandy the chronic complainer and Susan, who’d be at my door with a nervous breakdown the night before a paper was due. Susan’s life was a parade of perceived emergencies and I was her paramedic. One memorable weekend when she had tickets to a play, she convinced me to break my date with a new man in my life to babysit her pregnant poodle—because I was “the only one she could trust.”

You see the pattern—urgent demands, incessant complaints, boundary violations and flattery—You’re the “only one” these people can count on. They ambush you by appealing to your sympathy, your ego, your desire to be a good person. But if for some reason you cannot satisfy their demands, they say you’re “being selfish.” Sound familiar?

They may seem weak and helpless but these people are master manipulators. They live in an endless soap opera that drives us crazy, and we really can’t help them. To these troubled souls, a caring friend can give only temporary symptomatic relief. What they really need is therapy to help them change their unhealthy cognitive patterns and turn their lives around.

Have you been a target for a Drama Queen? Is your good-natured kindness being abused because you’ve been inadvertently reinforcing their behavior?

Diane Dreher is a best-selling author, personal coach, and professor at Santa Clara University. Her latest book is Your Personal Renaissance: 12 Steps to Finding Your Life’s True Calling.

Workplace Drama Can Kill Your Bottom Line

It never fails, no matter what industry I am working in, how strong the leadership is, or how much they focus on team building and support, every organization seems to suffer from workplace drama. Just last week I was working with a CEO who is brand new in her role. When I asked her what her biggest challenges were, despite being new in her role and being in a heavily competitive industry, she put office gossip and drama at the top of her list of challenges.

How to deal with drama

She shared that these are tough times and she needs every employee focused and engaged. Yet despite their best efforts both she and her leadership team are challenged with how to get workplace drama under control. So what is it with office drama, why do we have it, and how do we stop it?

We have workplace drama because we have people working for us.

Humans are emotional and whenever emotions are involved, you get gossip, hurt feelings, and some sort of adrenaline rush from stirring the pot! While I must admit it’s kind of fun to talk a little trash now and then, the office is not the place to do it.

How to deal with drama

As a leader, you need to understand that there are much bigger consequences to workplace drama than the fact that it gets on your nerves.

The level of drama you have in your workplace and the amount you tolerate directly impacts the overall success and performance of your organization.

If you want to increase your results in your company, then you need to understand office drama and how to stop it. As a leader you need to design a culture that does not tolerate the drama. Instead, your culture should promote effective communication and problem-solving strategies.

Why Stopping Drama Matters to You & Your Organization

3 ways that workplace drama impacts your organization

I am sure we would all agree that workplace drama can have a serious negative impact on your organization. However, we may not be aware of just how exactly drama will infect your company if allowed to continue. Uncontrolled workplace drama impacts your business in the following areas:

1. Your Bottom Line

The more your team members are gossiping or stirring the pot the less time they are focused on your customers and their overall performance. Drama takes time, time to start a conversation with another employee, time to be negative or angry, and time to spread it to other employees. That is time you are paying for, and time that is doing nothing to positively impact your bottom line.

2. Respect

Even employees who actively engage in workplace drama wonder why their leaders don’t do anything to stop it. As a leader, it is more important to be respected than to be liked, and the more you avoid dealing with workplace drama (no matter how small) the more respect your employees are losing for you.

3. Retain Top Talent

Good, productive employees want to work in a place where they can be successful. They are self-motivated and focused, and they know (even if you as the leader do not) that a workplace full of drama is not one where they can thrive. They will move on to greener pastures, and company cultures that do not tolerate workplace drama.

How to deal with dramaHow to deal with drama

How To Stop Drama Cold

3 strategies to design a culture void of workplace drama

Now that we know the negative impacts, it is clear that investing time and energy to stop it will have a major impact on moving your company forward. The only question left is how do we stop it?

1. Don’t Engage

First and foremost, as a leader do not engage – no matter what. In any company, leaders set the tone and even if all you do is listen, the moment you allow employees to vent, you have just said that engaging in drama is accepted and encouraged in your company.

2. Face-To-Face

One of the biggest problems with workplace drama is that some of it is legitimate. To determine this, you will need to hear and flush out your employee’s issues. So if you, as the leader are not supposed to engage in drama, how are you going to flush out the problems that need to be heard?

You handle any issue an employee has face-to-face, meaning all parties involved. When someone comes to you and has an issue or problem (aka drama) you cut them off immediately. Let them know you want to hear the problem, but not without the other person present to ensure all parties tell their side of the story.

If you want to separate the real issues from the drama issues, nothing does it faster than not allowing employees to talk about departments, people or issues without those they are talking about present to hear and respond to the conversation.

3. Take Action

Most importantly, you as a leader need to take action. If workplace drama is going to stop, you need to stop it. That means that you need to follow steps one and two, and beyond that you need to enforce it.

Creating a culture that encourages teamwork, development of employees, and promotes harmony begins with the leader defining it, demonstrating it and enforcing it.

Your words are important but your actions are what stop the drama cold.

In Conclusion

So there you have it: a three-step set of business growth strategies to stop workplace drama cold. Running a company these days is challenging enough; margins are tight and competition is strong. You need every employee focused and productive.

All of us have that one friend who craves drama, and it can be tough to deal with them when their negativity starts affecting everyone around them.

If you struggle with someone who stirs up trouble just for the fun of it, you ‘ re not alone. Here are seven tips for handling (and helping) their behavior.

Stay Unbiased, and Don ‘ t Engage the Issue

When a friend is being dramatic, one of the best things to do is to lend an open ear. Offer to listen to what they have to say so they can vent and get things out of their system without you actually getting involved. As you hear them out, don ‘ t encourage any negativity or feed into their drama. Affirming their belief that so-and-so is a jerk or that a situation was unfair will only incite them further. Be sure not to defend the other party, either, so they don ‘ t come firing at you instead. The less biased you can be, the better.

Keep Things Positive

Having the right attitude in the face of a drama-seeking friend can subtly influence them to be more positive, too. When you ‘ re around someone who loves to stir things up, discourage that behavior by setting a good example. Be an ally to all of your friends, supporting them and being happy for their successes, rather than being competitive. That approach just might rub off on them.

Distract Them From Drama

Some people seek out drama because it prevents them from feeling bored or lonely. If this sounds like someone you know, you can potentially avoid unnecessary conflicts by just being a good friend. By being kind and doing something fun and engaging with them, you can help them put aside the petty things and get caught up in the more important parts of life.

How to deal with drama

(Arthur via PBS)

Avoid Topics of Conversation That Will Rile Them Up

If the mere mention of a certain subject or a specific person around your friend instigates drama, use discretion and don ‘ t bring those things up. Sometimes it ‘ ll be unavoidable, but whenever you can, stick to topics that won ‘ t get them raring to cause trouble.

Diffuse Situations Instead of Trying to Win

If your friend is trying to start drama with you, it can be tempting to get fired up yourself. Your inclination may be to defend yourself and do what you can to win the argument, but that ‘ s just giving your drama-loving friend what they want. Instead, don ‘ t try to come out on top. If you decide not to engage with that conflict, it ‘ s possible you can avoid antagonism altogether and diffuse the situation, and you ‘ ll be the one who comes out looking better for it.

How to deal with drama

(Riverdale via The CW)

Talk to Your Other Friends About Maintaining a Drama-Free Environment

If you struggle with your friend ‘ s inclination to cause tension, chances are they ‘ re affecting other people in your friend group, too. The rest of your friends probably want to avoid that conflict as much as you do, and it doesn ‘ t hurt to chat with them to see if they ‘ ll help you form a united front against that drama. If everyone is on the same page about staying positive and not feeding into the spectacle, the drama-lover in your life might stop craving attention gained through negativity, and feel validated by friendship instead.

Have a Heart-to-Heart With Them

If nothing else works, you may just have to be honest with your dramatic friend and talk to them about how their behavior is hurting other people. In all likelihood, they won ‘ t take it well, but if you ‘ re honest, straightforward and genuine with your emotions, there ‘ s a chance you ‘ ll be able to get through to them. And if they insist on making things painful for you, even when you ‘ ve told them how it affects you, then maybe your drama-loving friend shouldn ‘ t be your friend at all.

When we get right down to it, there are three types of people in the world: those that love drama, those that hate drama, and those that are indifferent to drama. The first group is more prone to the extreme display of emotion; exhibitions of embellished behavior commonly seen in soap operas and other attention-seeking TV programs (we bet you can come up with at least three.)

In other words, they’re melodramatic.

Dictionary.com defines “melodramatic” as:

  1. of, like, or befitting melodrama
  2. exaggerating and emotional or sentimental; sensational or sensationalized; overdramatic.

We commonly refer to individuals who display such theater as “drama queens.” Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, and Lindsey Lohan are three recognizable modern day examples of a drama queen.

“I was always a drama queen. I remember playing in the kitchen, trying to get my mom to think I was dead and call the police. When she didn’t, I would cry. I was always theatrical. I don’t think any of my relatives are surprised.” – Amy Lee, lead vocalist of Evanescence

Now, this is not to say that people with an appreciation for the melodramatic are themselves drama queens. We surely don’t want to encapsulate people in such a manner. Distinguishing the drama queen from other (even similar) people is a set of common mannerisms.

Here, we list eight such behaviors and provide a little info about each one.

Here are eight signs you’re dealing with a drama queen:

1. Needs to be “COA.”

One of the more visible signs, drama queens both need and love to be the COA – the Center of Attention. They’ll conspicuously show off any new clothing or accessory to anyone who’ll listen. Conversationally, they’ll redirect the topic to themselves by initiating gossip or prompting someone to inquire into about them (e.g. by pouting, looking sad, etc.). In other words, drama queens will do and say nearly anything to be COA.

2. Throwing tantrums

Erratic, inexplicable and immature outbursts are not proper behavior for anyone beyond the age of ten – and that’s pushing it. The drama queen takes the adage “Age is just another number” to a hemispheric level by continuing their immature ways for years; sometimes throughout their life.

Throwing tantrums is simply another method for a drama queen to be COA. Despite their age, drama queens continue to believe the irrational notion that the world revolves around them. When they don’t receive the attention they “deserve,” they are often quick to make a scene to get it.

3. Always assuming the worst

Things happen in life that set us back – it’s a fact of human existence. Rational people will inquire thoughtfully to such setbacks and respond appropriately. However, drama queens – for the most part – are not the most rational people. As such, they’ll forgo any logical response and immediately assume that the worst happened.

Running late? They’ll assume you don’t care. Need to delay that rendezvous because of work? They’ll believe you’re blowing them off. So on…and so on…

4. Reacting emotionally to everything

Reason does not dictate a drama queen’s thought and behavioral processes. Instead, they’ll immediately respond in a childish manner to anything that they don’t like.

If the drama queen is your boyfriend or girlfriend, they seem almost unable to engage in a rational conversation. Why? Because anything that stokes their emotions almost assuredly manifests into exhibitions of impulsive, irrational behavior.

5. Is attracted to and initiates conflict

When feeling bored, it is common for drama queens to “stir things up” by creating…you guessed it…more drama. The purpose is simple – to ignite emotions and get people into a reactive state. This is the perfect recipe for conflict.

To the conflict-averse, this type of behavior makes absolutely no sense. To those indifferent to conflict, this kind of behavior makes absolutely no sense. Sensibility is another one of the drama queen’s weak points, which helps explain such nonsensical actions.

6. Drags out conflict as long as possible

Relatedly, when conflict does surface, a drama queen wants the conflict to stick around as long as possible. To them, it’s an emotional high. Even when everyone else seems ready to separate themselves from the situation, the drama queen will try to bring them back in through their typical, irrational antics.

This type of behavior does pose a threat, specially if it takes place in front of those close to you, such as friends or family. In this scenario, whether we realize it or not, our drama queen may be attempting to separate you and yours.

How to deal with drama

No further explanation necessary. It’s just very strange (yet predictable) behavior.

7. Loves to make a “grand entrance.”

No matter the venue, a drama queen loves to make her presence known in the most dramatic way possible. This often involves showing up a bit late (how ironic) so that all eyes are on them. The drama queen basks in this attention, whether it be good or bad.

“The Bell of the Ball” or “The Bain of the Ball” doesn’t matter, so long as they’re COA.

8. “Falls ill” at the most inconvenient times

This is very common when in a relationship with a drama queen. Your significant other will suddenly fall ill immediately prior to you meeting up with some friends, or perhaps trying to get in some (well-deserved!) alone time. They’ll make the utmost attempt to alter your state of mind – one from happiness and contentment to guilt and unworthiness.

Of course, the entire charade is intended to ensure that they remain your number one priority.

When you are trying to keep your life on an even keel, drama can seem like your absolute worst enemy. Conflict and confusion can be contagious and can disrupt the flow of your otherwise stable life, even to the point where you become an unstable person. But what can be done to combat the distracting sources of drama in your life? Here are the top 5 ways to avoid all of the crazy drama that tries to interfere with your mental health and well-being.

1. Set Goals and Stick to Them

When you are certain about what you would like to accomplish in life, it is harder to get swept up in the drama of others. Setting goals can keep you on track and help you feel more centered in your daily life. Knowing exactly what you want in your future will essentially create blinders to the instability around you and it will shield you from the tornadoes of emotions swirling around you.

2. Identify the Main Source

We have all had that person in our life that constantly has drama. It can be really hard to dismiss this source of distress, particularly if they are someone you love such as a friend, family member or significant other. However, identifying who this person is can help you gain perspective on whether or not you should take all of their complaints seriously. Instead of letting them upset you all the time, realize this is part of their nature and do not let them win influence over you with their out-of-control feelings.

3. Examine what you are doing to Create Drama

Anxiety and stress can make anybody become more dramatic than normal. Perhaps you tend to overreact to criticism or critiques from your boss, or maybe you feel like you are not good looking enough or you become jealous when your lover shows someone else attention. Take careful note of what it is that sets you off. This trigger will be easier to deal with if you are fully aware of what it is that decreases your happiness.

4. Do Not Rush to Conclusions

When drama takes hold of you, it is easy to jump to conclusions which may not be true. This is a result of thoughts and emotions getting blown out of proportion. Try not to assume the worst in others or get too drawn into upsetting situations before knowing all of the facts.

5. Set Aside Me Time

Even the most outgoing and social people occasionally need alone time. Do not be afraid to schedule your own time to take a walk, watch your favorite movie, shop, read a book or exercise. Alone time can clear your head and recharge your batteries so you can deal with drama in a healthier way when you encounter it. Even it if seems like you are too busy for me time, take 20 minutes at least once a week and you will find that you will be more productive and focused during the rest of the week.

Are You Buying in or Moving by?

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How to deal with drama

Do you have people in your life who like to create dramas? Do they like to stir up energy and conflict, adding fuel to the fire and then reveling in it? Do they fit the term Drama Queen?

It can be a challenge to be around people who are addicted to drama.

When you’ve been working diligently to lessen drama in your life by creating peacefulness and calm, drama can be very noticeable. It becomes uncomfortable and it stands out to get your attention. You begin to notice the woman in line at the coffee shop who doesn’t get the right coffee and proceeds to get so loud that the entire shop notices. Or, the man at the convenience store who is rude and obnoxious to the clerk and proceeds to drag the other customers into the attack,. Or, the mother-in-law that blows everything out of proportion so that she has some adventure in her life, even if the entire family is miserable. The list goes on and on.

If you are undertaking a healing journey to achieve more balance and peace within your life, drama comes up and tests you. The test is whether you chose to ‘Buy into it’ or ‘Move right by it.’ It is a choice, just like choosing happiness. You can make any choice on your path. If drama feels uncomfortable to you and you’ve decided it’s not for you, then move right on by it, but it’s easy to get sucked into the old pattern- especially if it is coming from family members. The test is to see whether or not you choose to see it for what it is: buying in or moving by?

Dramatic Family Patterns

Family patterns have a more emotional charge attached to them. You grew up with this family. You lived with them day in and day out. You know them better than they know themselves. However, you also slip right into the family role-playing dynamic when you are with them.

Unconscious Dramatics

Buying into the drama can happen so subtly that you don’t even notice that you did it. Your unconscious habit slid into place and it just happened, without you realizing it. You may not even notice until well after the fact. Regardless of how long it takes to discover, you got caught. You bought into it! Now what?

Recognizing Drama Addiction

Awareness is the first step. Becoming conscious of your surroundings and relationship dynamics is the next step. Become an observer within your family. Watch how they relate to one another and to you, without getting too involved in the outcome. You are simply there to be a witness, not to participate. Think of it as gathering research or an investigation. You are collecting data that will help you to analyze upcoming interactions you may be involved in. You need to begin to recognize when drama addiction is happening.

Thrill Seeking

The addiction to drama is not much different than an addiction to gambling. When drama is happening in a relationship dynamic, excitement happens, your body produces adrenaline and there is a rush of energy. People addicted to drama are seeking that rush of adrenaline or the thrill that the rush of energy brings them. For people that lead a very uninteresting or monotonous life, that rush of adrenaline helps them feel alive. It’s like a mother living her life through her children because her life has become mundane and flooded with boredom. Creating drama means stirring up energy. Think of it as a thrill seeker trapped in a boring life. Stirring up drama by creating family conflicts and blowing things out of proportion may be the only expression the thrill seeker has left.

Choosing Peace Over Conflict

Even if this is the case, it is still up to you to choose whether to play the game and ‘buy in’ or choose to see it for what it is and subsequently ‘moving by.’ It is a choice.

When you are looking to create peace and calm within your life, drama begins to take a back seat. The adrenaline is no longer as important. Meditation and the energy high that comes from knowing you are connected and one with the flow of the universe is more than enough to know that you are alive.

Have you noticed how people love drama? I mean they literally thrive off the frustration and pain of others. How can this be?

It’s obvious that people love drama and this has become a serious issue in our society today. Truth be told, this disturbing fact is one of the reasons that I stay to myself most of the time. While I too seem to stare and ask questions when something happens, there are those who try to stir up drama even when drama doesn’t exist.

Why do we love drama?

There’s not just one reason why people love drama. No, depending on the individual, drama plays many parts in life. It’s not about being real anymore, for most people. Now, it’s about creating a life that others envy, even when you must drown everyone in drama.

What are some of the reasons why people love drama? Read on…

1. Drama is exciting

One thing is for certain, drama is exciting. Even I can attest to that. The sad part about this excitement, however, is that the fun sometimes comes at the expense of someone else.

Although something unfortunate could happen to one person, another group of people, those who love drama, could be entertained by this misfortune as if attending a show or a movie. This is one major reason why people thrive off car accidents, disasters, or death. I know it sounds horrible, but this is what we are doing as a society.

2. Drama connects with our emotions

Ordinary aspects of life like reading books, doing chores, or fulfilling daily routines don’t usually connect all that much with our emotions. I mean, come on, how emotional do you get while washing dishes? Reading books does connect a bit with our emotions, but it’s a written story without all the real-world dramatics.

Now, on the flip side, how emotional do you get when you learn about a friend’s failed marriage? If they’re a close friend, you might feel a certain amount of empathy for them.

And yes, you will hate the fact that they are hurting, but secretly, you will be glad they shared the news with you as well. If they are taking comfort from you, you will feel even more in touch with your own emotions too.

3. We love stories

How fun is it to relay a story to a friend? It’s pretty entertaining, isn’t it? People love drama simply because it provides them with a story to tell friends and family. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Sometimes the story is a mystery and this makes it even more tantalizing. Unfortunately, even the negative things that happen provide an interesting story…and that’s enough for most people.

Stories of this sort feed the habit of gossip. There are some people who love drama so much that they will even make up lies to provide story fodder. They don’t care if these lies hurt others because drama is what matters the most.

4. People love attention

What is the easiest way to propel yourself into the spotlight? That’s right, it’s drama. If you know a bit of news about someone or a situation, you can quickly become the center of attention. For example, if you have information about a crime, you can become the “first-hand witness”.

After the initial information, others will come to you for more information. In many circumstances, these witnesses are even asked to make an appearance on news broadcasts or complete interviews because of their knowledge of the crime. This knowledge is the drama that people so long for.

5. Drama is an addiction

Once you get started thriving off drama, you will want more. Drama has a way of becoming an addiction to those who benefit the most. It’s like cigarettes, coffee, or drugs.

If you get used to loving drama and following all the latest info and news, you will suffer when nothing happens – it’s like a withdrawal. This addiction to drama sometimes leads to causing fights and disruptions in order to fulfill the need for more drama.

6. People like problems

Basically, people just love problems. Considering life is pretty hectic on its own, there’s usually no shortage of issues. In some rare cases, however, life can be peaceful, and guess what? People who love drama will feel lost during this time.

Here’s a weird fact, some people may even become depressed if nothing bad or stressful is happening to them. They have just become so accustomed to the negativity that positivity becomes alien. This is another reason why people love drama.

7. Drama is a distraction

Sometimes the reason why we love drama is that drama is a distraction. The real issues in our lives may not be as exciting or they may be too stressful to handle. Thriving off the drama from the rest of the world can help us forget about the truth of our own lives.

While an unhealthy alternative, thriving off external drama does give us a rest from our overwhelming personal stress. It even buys us some time to come up with a solution to what we deal with. Drama, derived from disasters, destruction, accidents, and deaths also helps us see things from a larger perspective.

How can we deal with drama queens?

Dealing with people who love drama is not easy. Setting aside the fact that I have been in this category, I will tell you how to get around these folks.

It’s best to keep information to yourself when dealing with those who love drama, even your family. Only tell people what you would want everyone else to know. The reason for this is because those who love drama will spread your information around like wildfire.

If you’re dealing with someone who throws tantrums in order to cultivate drama, then limit your words. When they see that you will not fight back they will drop the routine.

If you notice someone suffering from a lack of drama, offer your help. Show them how important peaceful times can be in life. Show them how other, less dramatic things, can help them grow.

You can even help dramatic people get to the root of their problems. Ask them why they feel drawn to negativity. The truth is, there is usually a deep reason why certain people are drawn to intensity.

These people, especially the ones who crave the spotlight, have usually grown to be selfish, either by lack of attention as a child or being taught to be selfish throughout life. Just get to the bottom of the reason and you might be able to help.

Yes, maybe we should tone down the drama

I have been a drama queen before, and I am ashamed of this. But considering drama has been practically ingrained into my character from my earliest years, it will take some time to remove its hold on my life.

I think this goes for many other people as well. While drama may be entertaining and thrilling, it can also cause so much pain for others. Instead of being people who love drama, maybe we should be people who promote peace.

While it might take a while to accept the decrease in stimulation, it will be worth the improvement in character in the long run. Let’s promote and love each other instead of selfishness and division. It’s just the right thing to do.