How to flirt with boys without being obvious

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

Knowing how to flirt isn’t as easy as it sounds. Showing someone you’re into them and getting them to notice you way in that way too? Not always a piece of cake. Of course, some people have the gift of the gab, others are just natural flirters and then there’s the lucky few who just instinctively get this whole dating thing. The introverts among us sadly don’t really have the same advantage. Besides opening with “I fancy you, let’s go out” (. I guess directness works sometimes?) how do you flirt subtly and show someone you’ve got your eye on them? Well, to answer that question we’ve rounded up a bunch of dating experts, body language experts and psychologists to share their *best* flirting advice and tips (thank us later). If you’re an LGBTQ+ woman or non-binary person trying these pearls of wisdom out on women, all the tips will still work for you but you might also be interested in our guide on how to tell if a woman is into you.

How to flirt

Look at them

Experts used to suggest we look – and then look away – three times to get someone’s attention. According to the Social Issues Research Centre, maintaining too much eye contact is the most common mistake people make when flirting.

So what should you do? When we meet someone new our eyes make a zig-zag motion – we look from eye to eye and then the nose. With friends, we look below eye level to include the nose and mouth. The subtle flirt widens that triangle to include parts of the body.

A word of caution – glance at their mouth now and then but not for long. Stare too intensely and you might make someone feel uncomfortable.

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

Be suggestive

Whether it’s a mildly suggestive phrase or an “accidental” touch, a little teasing can go a long way. In fact, when it comes to flirting, less is more.

“Overt turn-on attempts sometimes just spook people— they may sense heavy pressure to perform or feel out of control of the situation,” says psychology professor Robert Francoeur, PhD. “Subtle things — ones that are just enough to get their imagination going — are often what arouse people the most.”

Flirt just enough to make them wonder whether you’re interested or not. The uncertainty will get them thinking – and leave them wanting to find out more.

Test the space before you touch

A brazen flirt will touch a someone’s arm or knee when they talk. A subtle flirt tests a someone’s personal space first.

“If this person is drawn to you, they will respond”

“The bubble of air 18 inches around someone’s body is their intimate space: a no-go zone when you first meet someone,” says flirtation consultant Judy Dutton and author of How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover.

“To see if someone’s up for you breaking through this barrier, find an excuse to step briefly into this zone, say, by allowing someone behind you to pass, or to grab an appetiser off a wandering tray – then step back out again. If this person is drawn to you, they will respond by stepping in closer after you’ve backed off,” she says.

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

Use your smile

You begin by using eye contact to register interest in someone, and then you steer their eyes towards your mouth to ensure they get the signal of approval via the smile. You can do this by allowing your smile to spread down your face from your eyes to your mouth, which should draw their eyes with it.

Body language expert Judi James says, “Your smile allows you to show off lovely, healthy-looking teeth which sends a subliminal sexual signal of healthy breeding, plus the subtle baring of the teeth forms a mild fear response in animal terms which in human terms signals approachability and rapport.

“Your mouth-smile should be symmetric rather than lop-sided to show simple emotions of happiness and pleasure. If your smile turns into a laugh you get to tilt your chin up slightly too, baring the length of your neck which is a powerful flirt signal.”

Make ever-so-slight contact

You might think they want you to reach out and grab them – but the sexiest touches are often those electric ones we’re not expecting.

As clinical psychologist Dennis Sugrue, PhD, explains, “Unnecessary touches are a turn-on because they can signal a willingness to venture beyond the safe boundaries we usually maintain between ourselves and others.”

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

You don’t need to accidentally barge into them. Small, barely-there touches that only the two of you notice are best. Let your foot ever-so slightly touch theirs or lightly brush past them as you squeeze through a gap.

A touch that seems out of the ordinary creates the biggest physical reaction as subliminally it says, “I can’t resist touching you right here and now”.

Ask them a question

Most people love imparting wisdom or giving advice, so don’t be afraid to ask them a question. The more obvious flirt uses the technique to draw attention to themselves.

For example, you say you’re thinking of getting a haircut and ask them whether they think long or short hair will suit you best. The subtle flirt asks a question that, while seeming causal, is more directly related to their potential attraction to you.

Compliment them

Compliment someone too much and they’re more likely to squirm in their seat than ask you out. While the obvious flirt compliments someone on their outfit or fragrance, the subtle flirt bides their time and waits until the moment is right.

“Giving them a coy compliment lets them know that you’re interested in them sexually without suggesting that you might want something or be playing them,” says Deb Levine, a sex educator and relationship counsellor.

How do you give a ‘coy’ compliment? People watch for a few minutes then ask if they noticed how that person (who has conveniently just left) was checking them out.

Get them to take you out

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) uses hypnotic language to influence others, whether to buy a second-hand car or ask us out on a date.

One of the most common techniques is to use ’embedded commands’. Essentially, the idea is to give someone a direct command without them noticing by embedding or ‘softening’ it within a sentence. That way, their subconscious mind picks up on the command, even though their conscious mind isn’t aware of it.

Commands should be clear and easy to understand, such as “take me out for a coffee.” When you deliver the command drop your voice down at the end to ensure it comes across as a command and not a question. So, you might say “I asked my boss to take me out for coffee but she’s too busy.’

Flirting is tough. You might think being super obvious only to find out your crush had no idea you were into them. Or you might just be that guy who everyone wants to be around and not realise a ton of girls are getting romantic vibes from you when you’re just trying to have fun.

How to flirt with your crush? Like carrying all the grocery bags into your house in one go – it’s all about balance.

So here’s what’s up:


Knowing how to lowkey flirt takes more practice than TikTok dances. But you’ll be one of the chosen few who know how to flirt without looking and feeling embarrassed. Check out these flirty things to say to a girl:

1. You need to be attentive

The more attention you give a someone, the easier it is to remember all of the little (and big) things about them. If you can always throw in a reference to their favourite band or restaurant then you’ve got the chance to be a bit flirty. Just make sure you’re attentive in person though. If you’re attentive to their Instagram page and your bucket-list destinations are EXACTLY the same as all the holidays they’ve been on since 2017 then things could get awkward.

2. Give compliments you mean

Any compliment you give is going to sound more natural coming out your mouth if you mean it. If you tell someone ‘awesome shoes’ and they’ve got faux fur Crocs on – they might be able to tell by the look on your face that it’s not totally genuine. Part of how to flirt is coming across as cool to be around – so be genuine! Oh, and sorry Crocs.

3. Be confident

Confidence is attractive to almost everyone. Yeah, the ??? simp stuff is funny but we don’t think it’s great for flirting. Confidence is about being comfortable with rejection and not caring too much about what anyone else thinks about you. And if you’re ever feeling the pressure just ask yourself what the most confident person in the world would do – then do that. (It might also boost your confidence knowing that you smell awesome).

And that’s kinda it. Simple, we know. And even if you flirt and your crush isn’t feeling it – they’ll at least appreciate the compliment. But if it works? Well, you got this – we believe in you.

There are better ways to talk to a girl or guy without sounding cornier than a popcorn machine in a cornfield.


We get it, approaching your crush can be intimidating, and sometimes the mind just blanks. Here’s how to subtly flirt and avoid the most heinous flirting traps (and it’s cool if you’ve messed up in the past – this you 2.0).

1. Be original

If you’ve convinced yourself to talk to a girl or guy you’re into, don’t just take the easy way and use a tired pick-up line – they deserve more than that. There may be some exceptions, but in general – they’ll have heard all those corny lines before. Things like, ‘Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for’ will just get a yawn. Definitely not the best way to flirt. There are better ways to talk to a girl or guy without sounding cornier than a popcorn machine in a cornfield.

2. Be yourself

We get that it can be tempting to act around and play games, but if you’re looking for something real, these tactics won’t get you anywhere. The worst that can happen by just being yourself is that you get rejected. At least you find out they’re not gonna be a good match, and you didn’t make a fool out of yourself.

3. Don’t forget about body language

Learning how to subtly flirt is as much about body language as it is anything else. There are plenty of body language rules to be found on the internet, but forget about them.

As long as you’re not making them feel uncomfortable by standing waaay too close or staring waaay too hard, you’re good. Just be natural and do what feels right in the moment.

Download these ideas for the best ways to flirt with a girl into your brain (or, you know, just screenshot it). And remember, flirting is just a bit of fun. And if it leads somewhere? Awesome. If it doesn’t? You’ve might have made someone’s day. Awesome.

How do you flirt with someone without being obvious?

The key to flirting without it being too obvious is in your conversational skills and body language. Make eye contact with the person you like and smile a lot to show you’re interested in them. Lean in a little while you’re talking to make your interaction feel more personal.

How do you flirt with a guy without being awkward?

  1. Smile. .
  2. Keep eye contact and lean in. .
  3. Ask questions. .
  4. Touch them lightly. .
  5. Dress to impress. .
  6. Don’t underestimate a good pickup line; just understand what a good one is. .
  7. Don’t hang with a huge group of friends. .
  8. Focus your attention.

How do you indirectly flirt?

  1. Lock eyes for several seconds, then, look away.
  2. Smile and act happy.
  3. Mimic the other person’s body language.
  4. Show off your neck (for the ladies)
  5. Wear red lipstick (for the ladies)

How do you flirt lowkey?

  1. You need to be attentive. The more attention you give a someone, the easier it is to remember all of the little (and big) things about them. .
  2. Give compliments you mean. Any compliment you give is going to sound more natural coming out your mouth if you mean it. .
  3. Be confident.

Telling my crush I like him||WENT GOOD||

32 related questions found

How do you innocently flirt with a guy?

  1. 1 Give him a compliment.
  2. 2 Ask him a question about himself.
  3. 3 Tease him (but just a little).
  4. 4 Start a flirtatious debate.
  5. 5 Tell him you had a dream about him.
  6. 6 Talk about his latest social media post.
  7. 7 Show off your sense of humor.

How do you flirt without saying anything?

  1. 1 of 5. Hold Eye Contact For 3 Seconds. Don’t underestimate the power of catching a hot guy’s gaze. .
  2. 2 of 5. Flip Your Hair. This move is flirty, not sassy! .
  3. 3 of 5. Lean In To Him. To convey that you’re into him, lean in when he’s talking. .
  4. 4 of 5. Smile! .
  5. Thinkstockphotos. 5 of 5.

How do you flirt with your crush over text without being obvious?

  1. Read the chat room before you dive into how to flirt with guys over text. .
  2. Start slow. .
  3. Say his name a lot. .
  4. Pepper the conversation with some compliments. .
  5. Tell him you were thinking of him to flirt over text during quarantine.

How do you flirt innocently over text?

  1. Hey, stranger. .
  2. Morning, you! .
  3. What would you say if I asked you to come over right now?
  4. I’m making the first move when it comes to texting, so I’m expecting you to make the first move when it comes to kissing.
  5. This is me asking you out. .
  6. Nobody gets me like you do.

What is the best way to flirt with a guy?

  1. Take his name. Sounds easy, right? .
  2. Laugh at his jokes. .
  3. Draw attention to your lips. .
  4. Compliment him. .
  5. Tease him. .
  6. Draw attention to your body. .
  7. Dance together. .
  8. Listen carefully.

How do you flirt with text examples?

Flirty Text Strategy #2: Be bold about how much you like them. -I’m not big on the whole “wait three days” thing, so I’m texting you now. -Seeing your name pop up on my phone screen makes me grin like an idiot. -I don’t have anything interesting to tell you, but I really wanted to talk to you.

What is silent flirting?

If you take a little glance at the eyes of the person in that quiet, that’s a very powerful kind of flirting. Maybe you give just a little smile. The most intimate moments don’t involve words. They involve making eye contact. They involve sending energy through your mouth, smiling or sometimes a touch.

How do you flirt without touching yourself?

  1. Cross and uncross your legs. .
  2. Draw attention to your lips. .
  3. Play with your hair. .
  4. Wear perfume on the back of your neck. .
  5. Play with your necklace. .
  6. Sit with a straight back. .
  7. Bend over. .
  8. Face him.

How do you seduce a guy without words?

When you meet his eyes, you’re showing him that you noticed him. Hold his gaze for 1-3 seconds, then glance away. This is a subtle way to flirt without speaking. Don’t make eye contact for longer than 1-3 seconds because he might feel like you’re staring.

What do guys do when they flirt?

If the guy is flirting with you, then he’ll lock eyes with you when he’s talking to you. If he likes you, he’ll be too distracted to look somewhere else, to check his phone, or to search around for his friends.

What are signs of flirting?

  • They make prolonged eye contact. .
  • They shoot you a lot of brief glances. .
  • They play with their clothing. .
  • They tease you or give you awkward compliments. .
  • They touch you while you talk. .
  • Their eyebrows raise up when they see you. .
  • They let you catch them checking you out.

How do you flirt with a guy without touching it?

Smiling at the other person, playing with your hair, and maintaining eye contact are great ways to flirt without physically touching them. If you do want to show your affection through a touch, try sitting close to them and giving a light touch on the arm or hand to start.

How do you seduce a guy without touching him?

  1. Start with eye contact. The eyes are the window into the soul, and they’re also going to turn you into a really good flirt, Charlee Brotherton, matchmaker and founder of Executive Matchmakers, says. .
  2. Pull out the little black dress. .
  3. Laugh together, a lot. .
  4. Don’t put it all out there. .
  5. Talk a little dirty.

How can I seduce a guy without touching him?

  1. The sight of your bra strap. Seeing a bra strap is a tease, in a good way. .
  2. A genuine laugh. .
  3. Wearing fitted clothes. .
  4. Wearing clothes that aren’t too fussy. .
  5. Anything that’s see-through. .
  6. Confidence.
  7. Showing part of your thigh. .
  8. Wearing a dress or top that is low cut in the back.

How do you tell if a guy likes you or is just a flirt?

  1. His body language changes. Flirting isn’t just about the words you use. .
  2. He makes physical contact. .
  3. He tries to impress you. .
  4. He compliments you. .
  5. He tries to make you laugh. .
  6. He maintains eye contact. .
  7. He teases you. .
  8. He finds ways to start a conversation.

Do you flirt without knowing?

Flirtation is a fact of life in many social interactions, even (or especially) among people who don’t know each other. . Flirting in your head could inadvertently turn to flirting for real if the other person picks up on the cues you believed to be ever-so-subtle.

Is he flirting or not?

If he seems to make a greater effort with you and tries harder to tell jokes and make playful comments compared to other people he interacts with, then that’s obviously a sign that he is flirting with you. If he likes you, he might ask more questions, or even talk himself into an effort to impress you….

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How to flirt with boys without being obvious

Flirting doesn’t come easily to everyone. Even the most confident people will freeze up and utter a wimpy "hey" when they see their crush approaching them in the hallways. But don’t worry. If you struggle with flirting, we’ve got plenty of tips to help you master the art of the flirt and get your crush’s attention.

1. Be confident. Trust me, there’s nothing sexier than confidence. Your crush (and everyone else) will take notice if you’re strutting down the halls like you own them. Your crush will want to get to know the girl who knows she’s something special.

2. Show you’re interested in their life. Everyone loves a compliment, and most people love to talk about themselves. If you get a chance to talk to your crush, don’t let it go to waste. Ask them lots of questions about their life and show that you truly are interested. They’ll appreciate how curious you were about them and they’ll def be looking forward to another conversation.

3 . Draw attention to your lips. It sounds ridiculous but it actually works. Get pouty and keep chapstick or lip gloss in your bag. When you see your crush coming your way, swipe on a layer. They’ll be dreaming about those lips all day long.

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

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4. Smile and say hi when you pass them in the halls. I know, when you’re walking down the hall and you see your crush approaching, it can be the scariest feeling in the world. Your gut reaction will probably be to look down at your phone and pretend like you’re in a furious text conversation, but ignore those instincts, look up, and smile at them. No need to get into a big conversation (unless you want to!). Just take a half-second to wave, say hi, then keep moving. Boom—you’ll be on your crush’s radar.

5. Ignore your crush. but not for long. It sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But imagine running into your crush and a group of their friends at McDonald’s. Say hi to their friends first and strike up a convo. Your crush will feel the tiniest bit left out, until you turn to include them (and make their day).

6. Master the bump-and-flatter. "Accidentally" run into a hottie at a crowded party. You can laugh and say, "Oh, sorry. I become a total klutz around cute people." They’ll be immediately flattered and want to know more about you. That’s when you introduce yourself and start a convo.

7. Let them catch you looking at them. I know, this seems so scary. Usually, when someone catches you staring you look away quickly so they don’t realize you were literally drooling while watching them eat a hamburger. But, next time, try this instead. Gather up all the confidence you can. Then when your crush catches you staring, smile back at them, maybe even wink. It will prove that you’re confident AF and will give them the excuse to come talk to you.

8. Check out their clothes. If they’re wearing a band shirt or sport jersey, ask them about it. It will make you seem sincere and interested in their life, and it will start a nice conversation where you can learn more about each other.

9. Be obvious sometimes. Maybe you’re playing frisbee in the park and you "accidentally" throw it toward the cuties near you. An exaggerated apology lets them know you’re flirting on purpose (and in on the joke) and could lead to a conversation.

10. Introduce your friend. If you’re too scared to start a convo alone, bring your friend with you and introduce her to your crush. This may seem weird, but sometimes it’s easier to approach a person for someone else.

11. Flirt before you see them. Text, "You should wear that blue shirt tonight—it makes your eyes look amazing 🙂 A flirty text lets your crush know you’re thinking of them and will get them excited to see you later. Plus, seeing if they took your advice is a low-key way to gauge if they’re interested in you.

12. Start off with something cheesy to break the ice. If you’re thinking of pick-up lines, the only ones that are coming to you are probably super lame recycled ones. "Did it hurt. when you fell from heaven?" Or: "How much does an elephant weight? Just enough to break the ice!" If you’re trying to play it smooth but you’re coming up short, embrace the awkwardness and just be cute as hell. You know Jughead Jones would appreciate it.

Lately, I’ve been getting pitches from so-called flirting and dating experts to write about them. While their bios are always interesting, I have to wonder how gifted they are in the romance department. What qualifies someone as a dating expert anyway? Someone who goes on a lot of dates?

If that’s the main criteria, then I already have insider access to one of the greatest dating experts out there. And she happens to be my best friend: P.

P isn’t a supermodel, but she is a beautiful girl—the type of person that turns heads when she walks down the street. She is a smooth cocktail composed of confidence, sex appeal, looks and sweetness. And she gets more guys than anyone I know.

While taking the train home from work one day, I chat with her about the art of flirting. We’ve both read countless articles about the basic Dos and Don’ts of the courtship game—you probably have, too.

The rules, which are pretty standard and obvious, sound something like this:

  • Lock eyes for several seconds, then, look away
  • Smile and act happy
  • Mimic the other person’s body language
  • Show off your neck (for the ladies)
  • Wear red lipstick (for the ladies)

Having been in a relationship for the last year and a half, I feel a little rusty in my flirting aptitude. Still, I have always recalled these rules of attraction dutifully.

But P, the resident expert and boy magnet, tells me she has improved on the old school dogma. Attracting someone should be a little more subtle, she says. In other words, don’t make it seem like you’re flirting.

And this is when our simple conversation turns into a life lesson.

“Jen,” she says, ” You have to make the guy think he’s making the first move when you’re the one really doing it. “

Give me an example, I ask her. She provides two. (Of course she does.)

“I was on a plane and I spotted a cute guy, who happened to be sitting right behind me. There was an old lady who needed help putting her luggage away in the overhead compartment. So I volunteered to help but obviously, it was too heavy. so guess who gets up and offers to help me?”

That chivalrous act turned into a scintillating five-hour conversation from Los Angeles to New York—which eventually led to several dates in the Big Apple.

Funny enough, her second example took place on the return flight back to Los Angeles.

“There was this guy with really cool style—he looked like he was in the music business. And I could tell, because of his sneakers. He ended up sitting right next to me on the plane, and I wanted him to notice me, so I started playing my iPod and put it in the hand that was closest to him, and sort of faced it toward him, so if he looked down or glanced over, he could see what music was playing. I had on a bunch of songs that I thought he’d like. A few minutes later, he asks me about the music. It turns out he’s a manager for one of the bands I was listening to.”

In both instances, P was somewhat calculating but didn’t have to make the first move. The guys always took the initiative-she just provided the catalyst. And the best part? There was no come-hither stare required on her end.

It was her intuition that helped facilitate these serendipitous scenarios, she says. “You look at someone and you just know what they’re like and what they like. I just try to fit into that somehow.”

Apparently, P’s philosophy is: Judge a man by his shoes.

And once you have contact, what’s the next step? I ask.

“The key is to be extremely warm and pleasant, but don’t fawn all over him. Make it seem like you’re nice to everyone. Then when you leave, don’t ask for his number or anything like that. Just say, ‘It was really nice to meet you.’ Then walk away. Chances are they’ll come after you.”

Do they ever not come after you? I ask, tentatively.

She smiles. Not if you’re doing it right, she answers.

Are there any other tricks up P’s mini skirt? She tells me: What I’m about to tell you is the most effective flirting technique of all.

I wait eagerly—wondering what great secret is about to be revealed to me.

“Eye contact,” she says.

That’s it? I groan. I gently remind her that the five-second stare and look-away has been a staple in romantic comedies since the early 80s.

She quickly corrects me. “No, you don’t look away. You continue to stare. Gaze deep into their eyes. It doesn’t even matter if you’re paying attention to what they’re saying.”

“But I hate when people look directly into my eyes for long periods of time. It makes me feel so nervous and self-conscious,” I protest.

“It’s uncomfortable in the beginning. But I swear, it feels like someone is looking into your soul—it’s cliché, I know, but. “

“Completely cliché,” I interrupt.

“But, it makes the other person feel like you’re really listening and being attentive. It’s a very intimate thing.”

I’m skeptical, but I suspect she is right. When I think of the times people have really looked into my eyes, I have felt a certain closeness with them. I feel nervous. I feel. butterflies. Wow—she is right.

Our phone lesson comes to an abrupt halt as my train goes into a tunnel. P’s voice goes to a place where my 3G cannot follow.

I go home that night thinking about flirting and wonder if I was or am any good at it. I ask my boyfriend shyly, “Am I a good flirt?”

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

Flirting is a kind of playful communication that goes on between two people to convey attraction through body language and spoken language. Keep in mind that not everyone is good at flirting. If you meet a man who is challenged in the flirting department, you might not know if he’s interested in you or not. If this is the case, you can try flirting with him. However, you don’t want to be too obvious about it, as it could scare or turn him off. Your flirting should subtly convey your interest to pique his interest — and make him comfortable enough to respond to you.

  • Flirting is a kind of playful communication that goes on between two people to convey attraction through body language and spoken language.
  • If you meet a man who is challenged in the flirting department, you might not know if he’s interested in you or not.

Lock eyes the object of your attention — and then look away. When he’s speaking to you, keep good eye with him. Nod often and repeat some of his phrases so he knows you’re interested.

Smile and laugh at lot. A constant smile lets a guy know that you’re comfortable around him and enjoy his company. Big, genuine smiles also show that you’re a happy person. If this man likes to joke around, laugh at his jokes, even if they’re not that funny. Also, glance down at his lips several times when he’s speaking, and then look back up at him. This gives him an indication that you would not mind kissing him one day.

  • A constant smile lets a guy know that you’re comfortable around him and enjoy his company.

Compliment him. If you like the way he dresses, tell him so. Or, if he’s really good at something, such as a sport, tell him how cool you think that is. Then strike up a conversation about it. He’ll be flattered that someone appreciates his passion or his interest.

Use body language to let him know that you’re interested in him. Crossed arms and legs and clenched fists indicate that you aren’t interested, notes relationship expert Dr. Lauren Berman on her website. If you want to appear available and open to getting to know him better, let your limbs relax.

Make physical contact. Touching is a big yet still subtle way to flirt. Brushing his shoulder with your own or playfully pushing him indicates that you’re comfortable in close proximity to him. Touching him lightly on the knee, brushing his hair out of his face, or touching his hands are hints that you want to be even closer to him.

  • Use body language to let him know that you’re interested in him.
  • Touching him lightly on the knee, brushing his hair out of his face, or touching his hands are hints that you want to be even closer to him.

When it comes time for you to part, let him know that you’re looking forward to speaking to, or seeing, him again.


Back off if he is not receptive to your signals. If he doesn’t smile back at you a lot, if he recoils at your touch, or if he seems bored when the two of you are talking, he’s probably not that into you. Save yourself any embarrassment and move on to someone else.

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How to flirt with boys without being obvious

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How to flirt with boys without being obvious

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How to flirt with boys without being obvious

How to flirt with boys without being obvious

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    Written by Devir Kahan — March 10, 2021

    How to flirt with boys without being obvious

    To get a girl(friend), you need to be able to flirt with her.

    Sure, you can try to just walk up to a woman you find attractive and tell her that, but chances are that that neither party would appreciate it that much.

    To get a girl to want you just as much as you want her, knowing how to flirt with a girl is essential.

    How to Flirt With a Girl

    How to flirt with boys without being obvious

    Credit: Glamour

    But where do you start in this mysterious game of flirting?

    More importantly, how do you flirt with a girl? There’s a simple three-step formula that we like to use.

    First, you want to make yourself presentable. This means looking the part, from your clothes to your skin.

    Second, you want to make sure the girl feels comfortable. This means giving her space to be herself while also showing that she can trust you.

    Third, you want to be attentive. Listen to what she has to say. She’ll appreciate that you’re keeping an open ear to her words.

    While these three steps may seem easy to follow, there’s more to it than the formula.

    There are also some other tips and tricks that you’ll need to know. Therefore, we’ve composed a surefire, six-step process to flirting as a guy.

    Let’s get started!

    6. Make Yourself Presentable

    Let’s get it out of the way: nobody likes the hobo look.

    That said, you should never compromise your own style, but rather find something that you like that also looks presentable.

    Whether it’s a graphic tee or a button-down shirt, finding the right fit can make all the difference in the world, especially when it comes to first impressions.

    For clothes, we recommend upgrading your wardrobe. one place that we love to use is Sene. They upgrade your suits with performance fabrics that are custom-made to fit .

    You also want to feel confident in your own skin. Make sure you have a good skincare routine in place , and if you suffer from oily or dry skin , make sure to target it before you go on that date!

    It can be tough to find the proper male skincare products for your skincare routine.

    That’s why we put together a starter kit for men who want perfect skin. Now, eliminating your acne and keeping your skin clean is easier than ever!

    5. Keep the Conversation Light and Playful

    Flirting is all about building some playful tension and making both parties want more.

    You’re not going to accomplish that by starting a conversation talking about who you or your parents voted for.

    Instead, focus on more general, fun topics that will keep both you and the girl at ease.

    Talk about common experiences, your favorite vacation destination, or whether you’re a cat or dog person.

    As time flies, you’ll both be more comfortable and can potentially move into more serious topics.

    4. Make Her Feel Comfortable

    If there’s one thing that’s absolutely paramount, it’s to make sure that your date feels comfortable and at ease around you.

    At no point should she (or anyone, for that matter!) feel pressured into doing something that they don’t want to.

    So how do you make her feel comfortable?

    Avoid being too pushy, or getting too close if she’s trying to keep some distance. Listen to what she says (and how she behaves!) and react accordingly.

    If she’s comfortable, she’ll let her guard down and feel at ease with you. Otherwise, realize when you should stop.

    3. Listen to What She Has to Say

    There’s an old joke where a man is on a date and asks a woman, after talking about himself for the past 30 minutes, “Enough about me, what do you think about me?”

    That’s exactly what you don’t want to do!

    Make sure you listen to her–and that you’re actually listening.

    Studies show that by listening to understand and internalize what she has to say, you’ll strengthen the relationship and bond and make her feel heard.

    After all, that’s what we all want, isn’t it?

    2. Use Touch

    Touch is a very powerful tool you have at your disposal when flirting with a girl.

    In fact, studies show that a light touch made women more likely to give a man their phone number.

    To build up the tension and escalate, make physical contact when flirting.

    The key is to start slowly (and innocently) so she can choose to reciprocate and you can gauge her level of interest.

    If she reciprocates, you can slowly start to make bolder moves: let your hand linger on the small of her back, or make extended eye contact before pulling away.

    Done right, it’ll drive her crazy–in a good way!

    1. Be Confident While Flirting

    Above all, make sure you exude confidence.

    Having some nerves is completely understandable, but nobody finds a stuttering, nervous wreck attractive.

    Project confidence without being too cocky, and it’ll make a world of difference when it comes to flirting with a girl–and will hopefully help you get her to kiss you in no time!

    Final Thoughts

    One thing is certain: learning how to flirt with a girl takes time, and there’s no tried-and-true method that works 100% of the time.

    Give yourself room to experiment, fail, and succeed, and you’ll slowly learn what works best for you.

    You’ll get there before you know it… so happy flirting!


    Thompson, Jeff. (2012). Thin slices & first impressions. Psychology Today.

    Doell, F (2003). Partners’ listening styles and relationship satisfaction: listening to understand vs. listening to respond. Graduate thesis. The University of Toronto Psychology Dept.

    Guéguen, N. (2007). Courtship compliance: The effect of touch on women’s behavior. Social Influence, 2 (2), 81–97.

    “Courtship compliance: The effect of touch on women’s behavior” from Social Influence, Volume 2, Issue 2, 2007, Pages 81 – 97

    A lowkey flirting over text can lead to a wonderful relationship if done properly. Find out how to lowkey flirt with a guy over text and get his attention.

    How to flirt lowkey?

    To win a guy’s attention over text can be a tad too complicated. The guy cannot see your expressions or hear your tone. There are many statements which when written mean the same but when spoken have different meanings. You can be flirty, witty, charming and sweet while texting your crush. But whatever you write, you have to give your best as you won’t get another chance. To flirt lowkey is to sound casual over text and yet intriguing. You cannot get dirty by being flirty and neither can you sound too desperate. You have to give a very subtle message to your crush that you find him interesting. The other benefit of lowkey flirting is that you do not end up embarrassing yourself if your crush is not interested in you. If he does not respond to your casual text messages, you could always pull back without feeling let down. A lowkey flirting can be called a casual chat over text with your crush but you do need to throw in some cute texts in between to keep the game going. You have to flirt in such a tactful way that he forgets everyone else and enjoys chatting with you over text. There are some golden rules to texting right to your crush which will get you his attention. Your texting anxiety will come to an end if you follow the below mentioned steps before flirting with your crush over text:

    1. Be unique when you flirt with your crush over text

    The best way to win your guy’s attention over text is to be unique. In today’s world, everyone is aware of flirting and it gets very obvious when you text the same cheesy lines to someone to get their attention. Lines like, ‘I was thinking about you’ or ‘What are you wearing?’ become too obvious and your crush might just brush you off saying he is busy. When you want to completely bowl someone over with your text messages, you have got to be very unique. Don’t appear as a made-up or fake person, but just be yourself. Text him lines like ‘Just watching the 7th season of Game of Thrones, do you want a copy?’ or ‘Just having a chocolate ice-cream at Hagen-Diaz – your favorite flavor’. These lines are intriguing because they are talking about you. If you talk about yourself more in the initial texts, your crush will get interested rather than just asking him boring stuff like ‘Wassup?’. You can also text him about some common thing that you share or do like ‘This third chapter is so lengthy, I wish we could omit it for tomorrow’s test!’.

    2. Humor works

    One of the best ways to win a guy’s attention over text is by using light humor in your texts. Now, that does not mean sending funny forwards all the time because everyone gets forwards from different sources and most of them don’t even make it a point to read all. Write original text messages relating to both of you or about a third person you both know about. The best is obviously to make light jokes on yourself to make your crush laugh and attentive. You can write stuff like ‘Guess what, I had a freaking crazy day today, I got up late, got ready in a jiffy and forgot to change my shoes! Reached college in my house flip-flops!! Can you believe it? I was looking like an idiot all day in college today’ or if you want to infuse light flirting with humor then a great text could be ‘ Can you please just stop making me think about you, I am busy’. This one is coy, sweet and flirty. It adds a sweet flavor to your text and you guy will definitely get intrigued.

    3. Use his name

    If you want to get his attention over lowkey flirting, another good way is to use his name often in your text messages. This creates a personal touch and your guy connects to you better. Use lines like ‘Hey Paul, you should taste this burger at this new bistro just opposite to my place, you will love it’ or a little flirty kind like ‘ Paul you have to stop coming in my thoughts, how will I study!’ Using your crush’s name adds an endearing touch to your text messages and as they say that your name sounds better from your guy’s mouth; try it for yourself!

    How to flirt with boys without being obvious

    How to flirt with boys without being obvious

    Photo: © Eros International (Main Image)

    It’s an unsaid fact, but most girls like it when boys come over and flirt with them. Flirting is a definite healthy way to interact with someone from the opposite sex, if you’re doing it right that is. But there’s a really thin line between healthy and harmless flirting and flirting where you seem like a creep to her.

    Sometimes you can get a little ahead of yourself and come off as disrespectful or unknowingly creepy when you do approach a girl intending to flirt with her. But remember, there’s a big difference between using a dirty pick-up line and having a proper conversation with a woman.

    How to flirt with boys without being obvious

    © 20th Television

    Respecting a woman and her boundaries is the right way to go about flirting with a woman. You can flirt all the way and win her heart by just maintaining some rules.

    Here’s the simplest way to flirt with women, if you keep these rules in mind:

    Rule No. 1: Play It Right

    The fear of rejection, while approaching a woman, looms high and it can scare you into talking to any woman. But you need to understand, that rejection is a part of life and the only way to probably avoid it, is if you approach her politely and respectfully, rather than worrying about being funny or using a cheesy pick-up line.

    Just be yourself and have a real conversation and she won’t reject you in the first go. Believe me, a lot of women actually like a guy to just approach them with a simple ‘hey, how’s it going?’ rather than ‘are you hurt? Because it seems like you’ve fallen from heaven’ kinda cheesy stuff.

    If she does reject you, it could be because she’s not looking to meet new people or is just busy and unavailable. That in no way is a cue for ‘try harder’. That just means you leave her alone.

    Trust me, you’ll know when she wants you to try harder and it’s not ‘I am really not looking to meet someone tonight’ or ‘I am out with the girls tonight, sorry’.

    Never take rejection to heart and act out of anger by becoming egoistic about it. You tried and she wasn’t really interested. That’s all. Move on! Always play your cards right.

    Rule No. 2: Maintain Eye Contact

    To know if she’s interested in you and to keep her interest in you alive, always maintain eye contact with her. Not in a creepy way that’ll make her uncomfortable, of course. Eye contact is a window to intrigue her further and lets her know subtly, that you’re into her. Always smile, every time your eyes meet. It’s best to maintain eye contact even before you start a conversation. This brings about confidence in you if she meets your gaze from afar.

    Rule No. 3: Observe, Don’t Stare

    Always observe the woman you’re hitting on. Observe how she gestures, what her body language is like, the way she talks, what she does subconsciously. It helps you know your moves a little bit in advance, depending on your astute powers of observation, of course. Just don’t stare at her.

    There’s a difference between observing someone and staring at them and if you don’t know what that is, I can’t help you bud.

    Rule No. 4: Always Keep A Smile

    Your smile is a warm giveaway of the fact that you’re interested in her and you’d love to get to know her better. Even if you suck at flirting, just keep a charming smile alive on your face. It delivers a lot of confidence and exuberance and she’ll know you’re a pleasant guy, just trying your best to flirt and she’ll definitely help you out.

    It’s true what they say, a smile can really go a long way.

    Rule No. 5: Be A Good Listener

    Sometimes, women really dislike the fact that you keep talking to prove yourself to them. That’s why it’s imperative to listen as much as you talk.

    Being a good listener is a healthy habit and if you’re just about getting to know her, then don’t be all about yourself. In fact, ask her questions and learn to listen to what she says. If she sees you interested in her banter, she will definitely want to talk to you more.

    Rule No. 6: Approach Her Normally

    It’s time to approach her and don’t make it seem like a movie, waiting for the music to start playing, while you go in slo-mo, and everyone stares at you. Nope, that’s not how it’s done, mate. Just be confident, maintain that eye-contact and that smile and start with the simplest opening line like ‘hey’!

    Rule No. 7: Appropriate Touching Is Good

    Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean touch her and make her feel uncomfortable, but some sort of bodily contact is important to establish a connection and affection.

    Obviously, if she’s uncomfortable, don’t do it. Like this one time, I was out with a girl who had the perfect curls and I couldn’t resist touching her hair or playing with them and she got so uncomfortable with that, that instead of asking me to stop, she ended our date!

    Well, you only learn from your mistakes, don’t you? So maybe keep brushing your arm against her every once in a while.

    If it’s a crowded bar, walk behind her and keep your hand at the small of her back. Not too low, or too high, just perfectly in the middle so you can guide her through the crowd. Touch establishes being comfortable yet flirtatious around someone.

    So, here are the 7 crucial rules to follow when it comes to flirting with someone you’ve just met. If you think you’ve been doing it wrong, with 0 success rate, now you know why. Keep these things in mind and you’re golden with the ladies!

    The F-Formula a flirting guide or blueprint that guides people and assists them in mastering the skill of flirting to attract women. The F-Formula program includes a 72 pages PDF file that teaches you through the flirting phase in a step-by-step guide.

    11 Psychological Flirting Tricks to Make Flirting Dramatically Easier

    21 related questions found

    How does a girl flirt?

    You can flirt with your body language, like smiling at someone from across the room; flirt with words, like in a conversation or over text message; flirt using touch, like touching someone’s arm to make a point. . People flirt in many different ways, and the girl may be too shy to flirt with you in an obvious way.

    What are signs of flirting?

    • They make prolonged eye contact. .
    • They shoot you a lot of brief glances. .
    • They play with their clothing. .
    • They tease you or give you awkward compliments. .
    • They touch you while you talk. .
    • Their eyebrows raise up when they see you. .
    • They let you catch them checking you out.

    How do you subtly flirt?

    When you’re flirting with someone, initiate a light, no-pressure contact that can convey your interest subtly. Touch is important for conveying emotion, and if you feel connected with them, then it’s totally appropriate to casually touch them on the shoulder or upper arm.

    How do you send a cute flirty text?

    1. Hey, stranger. .
    2. Morning, you! .
    3. What would you say if I asked you to come over right now?
    4. I’m making the first move when it comes to texting, so I’m expecting you to make the first move when it comes to kissing.
    5. This is me asking you out. .
    6. Nobody gets me like you do.

    What is innocent flirting?

    Your spouse also must be perfectly comfortable with your flirting. . In other words, if he or she were standing right there while you were flirting away, you, your spouse and the flirtee would all be perfectly at ease.

    How do you flirt in classy?

    1. Make Idle talk Do not underestimate the power of idle banter. .
    2. Use The half-smile Smiling really wide is no good. .
    3. Original compliments As much as women like compliments, nothing is more of a turn-off like a fake, lame compliment.

    How do you flirt lowkey?

    1. You need to be attentive. The more attention you give a someone, the easier it is to remember all of the little (and big) things about them. .
    2. Give compliments you mean. .
    3. Be confident. .
    4. Be original. .
    5. Be yourself. .
    6. Don’t forget about body language.

    How do you flirt on chat?

    1. Keep your approach casual.
    2. Know when to press for more information. .
    3. Compliment your crush early in the conversation. .
    4. Don’t come on too strong. .
    5. Convince your crush to pursue you instead of having to do the work yourself. .
    6. Tease gently. .
    7. Always leave your crush wanting more.

    What are cute things to say to your crush?

    • I love you for everything you are.
    • I feel so safe with your arms around me.
    • I can’t stop smiling around you. You make me so happy.
    • I crave you more than pizza.
    • I love your _____.
    • You’re more than my boyfriend. .
    • Every day is an adventure with you.
    • I’d do anything to see you smile.

    What do you text your crush?

    • Ask A Leading Question. .
    • Jog Their Memory. .
    • Say Something Sweet. .
    • Bring Up A Shared Interest Or Experience. .
    • Send An Emoji.

    What is a good flirty question?

    • There’s just something about you. .
    • You drive me a little crazy, you know that?
    • You know you’re amazing right?
    • Wanna get outta here?
    • What would you say if I asked you out to dinner?
    • Do you believe in love at first sight?
    • What’s behind that smile of yours I wonder?

    How do you hint that you like someone?

    1. Touch your face and hair when you’re talking to them.
    2. Touch them, casually, on the arm or knee when you’re talking to them.
    3. Laugh at their jokes.
    4. Touch their arm or knee when you laugh at their jokes.

    What is flirty smile?

    A flirty smile uses your eyes, your head, your neck and even your whole body. There are different flirty smiles, small little smirk, one side of your lip raising just a bit, the closed mouth raised eyebrow, or even biting your bottom lip gently.

    Is a smirk flirting?

    As its official name reveals, ? Smirking Face represents the facial expression of a smirk. It’s used to communicate a range of feelings, including smugness, self-confidence, self-indulgence, mischief, cheeky humor, and general satisfaction. ? Smirking Face especially implies, however, flirtation and sexual innuendo.

    How do you tell if a girl finds you attractive?

    1. Pupils dilate when they look at you. .
    2. Blushing and flushed skin. .
    3. Tonal voice changes.
    4. Open body language. .
    5. Leaning closer to you. .
    6. Mirroring your behavior. .
    7. Sneaky gestures to enhance their appearance. .
    8. Increase in body temperature.

    How tell if a girl wants to kiss you?

    1. She stares dreamily into your eyes. .
    2. Her body language says it all. .
    3. She finds reasons to touch you. .
    4. She compliments you a lot. .
    5. She won’t stop biting her lips. .
    6. She responds to your touch well. .
    7. She’s super engaged in the conversation. .
    8. When she hugs you, she doesn’t let go.

    Do girls like shy guys?

    Shy guys are typically considered great listeners when it comes to romantic relationships. That is another reason why girls might find you irresistible despite your inability to approach them. So, don’t always fight it – being quiet and reserved could serve as a bonus for you.