How to ignore everybody around you

How to ignore everybody around you

Author and confidence catalyst Laura Gassner Otting shares her top five tips to get out of a rut and live your best life by ignoring the naysayers and creating your own rules.

1. Don’t give a vote to people who shouldn’t even have a voice. Let’s face it: most of the people who give you advice — telling you to slow down, take smaller risks, dream a little more realistically — are doing so from a place of fear and anxiety, not about your life but about their own. Stop letting your audacity be constrained by the limits of other people’s imaginations. Politely excuse yourself from taking every opinion as fact, weighing them all with equal measure, and allow yourself to be your own dog, run your own race, carve your own path. And all those voices questioning your choices and telling you what you should do and need to do? They simply don’t get a vote—unless you give it to them. And that includes that voice inside your own head. How? It’s time to say “Screw the Joneses.”

2. Your fourth grade teacher was wrong about you. Back in middle school, we were taught to pursue the gold stars, get the good grades, and shine across the board. We had no say in the skills that got rewarded; and often what we were rewarded for was different from what we loved. So, rather than picking a path based on what makes us special—what we like, what we do well, and where we shine—most of us are forced to pick our path early, based on values attached by others and interests that aren’t our calling. Remember that fourth grade teacher who said that you should become a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant? They possessed no crystal ball, and yet we internalized their notions as predictions rather than simply suggestions. What if, just what if, that prediction based on nothing more than anecdotal information gathered at a specific moment in time, when we still let our mothers cut our hair and pick out or picture day outfits, was wrong? How? Learn when to say yes.

3. You can’t be insatiably hungry for someone else’s goals. In twenty years of doing executive research I saw one lesson come to life over and over again: the most successful people are never the ones who simply want the right marriage, or the perfect children, or the next promotion to the next big job just because that’s what is expected. Instead, they’re the ones who are so hungry for their own self-determined goals that they are intrinsically motivated to go after them. The most flourishing, most fulfilled workers are the ones who do the extra work, in the dark, when no one sees—the ones who own up to their BHAGs and are willing to dig deep and fight like hell to bring them to fruition. They do it for themselves, because they want to achieve those goals so badly that they can’t not do it. They know that leaning into those goals will contribute to the life they want to live, and they are insatiably hungry for that version of success. And you just can’t be insatiably hungry for someone else’s version of success, for someone else’s goal, for someone else’s cause. How? Own your own dreams.

4. Ambition is not a dirty word. Ambition has gotten a bad rap of late. It’s a dirty word—even more so if you are a woman. (Oh, she’s so ambitious!) Part of the reason we’ve lost ownership of our unspoken dreams — those dreams so big and so scary and so exciting that we dare not say them out loud — is that we’ve been persuaded to allow our ambition to be subsumed into something that is more socially acceptable: faux humility. But, I’d ask you this: Why do you want to get ahead? What do you want to do with that power? Do you want to change your family, your community, your country, your world? Do you want to make a mark, large or small, on this earth? What kind of life do you want to live? How do you want to raise your family? Do you want to give back? If being in that elevated position, with that increased salary and that greater voice of leadership, allows you to make more of an impact on the very calling that you hold dear, it’s more than just your ambition. It’s your responsibility. How? Know your value.

5. Get Clarity on Your Consonance. I’ve come to understand that in order for your life to feel right for you, it has to actually be right for you. The most powerful way to insulate yourself from the misguided, happiness eroding (and often uninvited) opinions of others is to stop doubting yourself, and that comes from having the confidence in the choices you make and the chances you take. It comes from finding, exploring, and leaning into your own personal consonance, that which puts you in flow, in alignment, and makes you bulletproof, where the life you are living feels purposeful… to you. How? Find your “family.”

About the Author
Laura Gassner Otting helps people get “unstuck” ― and achieve extraordinary results. As founder of Limitless Possibility, Laura collaborates with entrepreneurs and investors to push past the doubt and indecision that consign great ideas to limbo. She delivers strategic thinking, well-honed wisdom, and catalytic perspective informed by decades of navigating change across the start-up, nonprofit, political, and philanthropic landscapes.

Her book, Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life is available April 2, 2019 in hardback on Amazon and other retailers.

How to ignore everybody around you

One of the strangest elements of the pastorate is that I encounter a constant stream of people telling me what to do. It’s a bit ironic. Most people assume a majority of my time is spent telling other people what to do, but in reality I very rarely explicity tell others what to do. In most cases, I’m a sounding board trying to assist them in making their own decision.

Yet on a near daily basis people are telling me what to do. Some are well intended, others aren’t. Many are well-informed, but not all. Most think that what they are doing is unique; little do they know there are just one in a long line of people.

Maybe this occurs in other lines of work, but it’s hard to imagine many jobs have more people telling you what to do than the pastorate.

This means one of the most important aspects of my profession is knowing whom to ignore. There is no way a pastor could ever do everything every person told them to do, much less should he do even half of what he is told to do. Instead, wisdom must be continually sought in knowing what advice to take and what advice to ignore. It’s not always an easy task.

But there are some common themes regarding who to ignore.

5 Types of People You Should Ignore

1. The Haters. Some people are just going to hate. No matter what is happening, they will dislike everything you do and say. Ignore them. Kindly. Compassionately. Ignore them. And thank them as you do. Nothing of value has ever been accomplished without someone hating it. If the haters are hating, you might be doing something right.

2. The Baiters. While some hate, others bait. They are always looking for a way to trap you in something you have said. The point of the conversation isn’t clarification, it’s entrapment. When someone isn’t trying to help, but instead is trying to place blame, they aren’t a voice worth listening to. Listen to problem solvers, but don’t listen to those who are always trying to place blame. (See: What No One Ever Tells You About Being a Leader)

3. The Naysayers. The haters hate you. The Naysayers just love to say nay. They might love you, but they are afraid of progress so they are against everything. If someone is for nothing, their voice does not deserve to be heard. Anyone can say things won’t work, but it takes a leader to make things happen. If someone has a history of doing things and they say no, take their no seriously. But if someone just has a history of being a naysayer, ignore them.

4. The Delayers. Some don’t say no, but they avoid progress by continually delaying any decision or action. They continually want to push decisions for later. They will slow play getting information, avoid meetings, and do everything they can to delay action. You won’t hear from them until you are ready to act and then they will appear to try to push your action to a later date. Moving slowly can be wise, but make sure your slow action is a strategic choice and the not the result of a delayer.

5. The Debators. Some people just love to talk. They aren’t going to do anything. They never have done anything and never will do anything, but they love to debate. While debate is a healthy and productive exercise, it is only good if it results in action. If someone has a history of just debating, but not doing anything, don’t listen to them until they have a different track record.

A vital part of leadership is knowing whom to ignore, but it’s bad leadership to ignore everyone. A leader must depend on other voices in order to make a good decision. If a leader ignores some, to whom should they listen? (See: 5 Ways to Instantly Improve Your Communication)

5 People You Should Hear

1. Those who are for you. While you can learn from people who aren’t for you, you can’t trust them. Everything they say has to be viewed through a skeptical lens. It’s far better to take advice from people who truly have your best interest at heart. If someone is for you, listen to them. Even if you disagree, at least your know their words are spoken in love.

2. Those who know you. One of the quickest signs you shouldn’t listen to someone is when they tell you what to do before asking the whats, whys, and hows of what you are currently doing. Unless they know you and what your goals are, how can they give you relevant advice? Without knowing your skill sets and passions, their good advice might actually be harmful. But if someone knows you, they might have good insight on what you should do or not do. Listen closely to those who know you well–especially your spouse. (See: You Don’t Know Me)

3. Those that will listen to you. Advice should always come in the form of a conversation. It should be a give and take exchange of ideas. When someone is quick to tell you their opinion, but slow to listen to yours, it’s a sign their voice will not be valuable. Good leaders listen as much as they talk. If someone won’t listen to you, don’t let them speak into your life. But if they will listen to you, take their words seriously.

4. Those who do what they say. Some people are all talk. They believe they know it all, but they are willing to do very little. If someone fails to live by their own words, don’t listen. But when someone has a history of doing what they say, that gives them a credibility few have.

5. Those you respect. You don’t have to respect everything about them, but you should have a deep respect for the topic under discussion. Find voices you value and listen to them.

A major skill of leadership is knowing who to ignore. Without fail, you will ignore a piece of advice you shouldn’t have. It happens to every leader and can’t be avoided. However, you can’t allow those occurrences to tempt you into listening to every person’s recommendation. Be very careful about who you allow to speak into your life.

If you don’t like someone don’t hang out with them, simple as. all you’re going to do there is ruin everyone’s time.

That said dont close yourself off completely, sometimes you will find great freinds in really rather unexpected places.

(Original post by mojojojo101)
If you don’t like someone don’t hang out with them, simple as. all you’re going to do there is ruin everyone’s time.

That said dont close yourself off completely, sometimes you will find great freinds in really rather unexpected places.

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In this event, you’ll learn

Hugh MacLeod is the cartoonist and acclaimed blogger behind gapingvoid.com and the bestselling author of Ignore Every­body and Evil Plans. After a decade working as an advertising copywriter, he started to publish online his “cartoons drawn on the back of business cards,” which eventually he turned into a full-time job. He is known for both his art and for his thoughts on marketing, and has become a popular speaker.

Overview

If the full title of a book is “Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity,” you can’t be blamed for expecting 40 new items in your creativity toolkit.

And, let’s face it, we can’t think of you as a genius of some sort if you’ve already guessed the first one. Or the fact that we’ll list all 40 of them in a second.

1. Ignore everybody.

That’s the basic premise of Hugh MacLeod’s book: if you want to become something important, you need to be able to ignore everybody.

It’s basically a paradox: the better your idea is, the more original artist you are, the less applicable the advice of those around you will be.

Just think of all the Van Goghs and Mozarts from history who died penniless because they believed what others told them!

You mustn’t repeat their mistake. If you think you’re on to something, you’re probably the only person who knows that.

Nobody knows the best way to deliver your unique idea, no matter how smart they seem. Every artist has to find a way to make a living and share their work, preferably in a way that doesn’t ruin both. Finding your own voice and sharing that voice with the world is the most important thing.

S ome people just seem to have it all together. Others actually do. Today’s guest is in the latter category.

I’m talking about Laura Gassner Otting, a highly sought after speaker, consultant, and executive coach .

How to ignore everybody around you

Laura brings both tough love and wisdom and offers a no-holds-barred look at what it really takes to get out of your own way and earn your success today.

Among other things, Laura and I discuss her new book Limitless and the knowledge and experience she’s gained in interviewing thousands of leaders at crisis points in their lives and their careers.

If you ever dreamed about discovering and crushing that personal goal that is so big and so scary that you’ve only dared whisper it to yourself, this book is the permission you didn’t even know you needed to live into it as only you can.

Join in on our chat below

In today’s episode, I ask Laura to share:

  • What it means to live a life in consonance
  • The difference between calling and purpose and why it’s an important distinction
  • How to bring more Calling, Connection, Contribution, and Control to your work
  • …and plenty more!

This Episode is Sponsored By Self-Publishing School

My friend Chandler Bolt is the founder of Self-Publishing School, which is an online education company How to ignore everybody around youdedicated to one thing: Helping you get your book idea out of your head and onto paper as quickly as possible, and then getting your published book into the hands of as many readers as possible.

Chandler is hosting a FREE training where he’ll show you the exact process to follow to go from blank page to published author in as little as 90 days, and the exact book launch blueprint to follow to launch your book to $10,000 and beyond (and earn monthly royalties month after month).

If you’ve EVER thought about writing a book (whether as an extra income stream, to generate leads for your business, or to share a story you’ve wanted to tell) you OWE it to yourself to sign up for this training – and it’s completely free!

Oh! And when you sign up for the training, Chandler is going to send you a copy of his book Published absolutely free!

Want to improve this question? Update the question so it can be answered with facts and citations by editing this post.

Closed 3 years ago .

I’ve been a member of an online community that’s mostly aimed at kids – although we’ve got members aged 8 to in their 20s – for almost four years now. There’s a live chat available (with some pretty aggressive word filters). Now, I don’t drop in very regularly – I drop in around one every couple weeks, usually. I used to be much more active on the forums, but most of the people I know there I know from like 2 years ago (of those who are still around) – I don’t know the younger generation very well.

Now, when I drop into the livechat, I’ll often just talk to the few people that I know. ignoring the rest of the people. Now, most of the time the other people in the chat aren’t actually interested in chatting; they’re more interested in role-playing. But I’m more interested in chatting with the people I know, like discussing one girl’s YouTube channel and stuff like that. So I’ll often just put everybody else on ignore (because it can be hard to keep track of a conversation when you’ve got a stream of unrelated messages).

What I’m wondering is: Is this rude to the other users of the room? If they try to talk to me I won’t even notice, because I have them on ignore. and this could be ‘clique’ish, because it’s basically just two or three users who’ve known each other for a couple years ignoring all the newer people. (This is. at least a year and a half after the oldies vs. newbies war that left the site in ruins and with a severely depleted population, but I really don’t want to cause it to resurface.)

Is it acceptable to ignore everyone else in the room and talk to only specific people?

In general, I’m not a big fan of random ideas. Ideas are cheap, because everyone has them. Getting shit done is what counts in the end.

But still, there is something magical about a great idea. We have to understand that ideas are by nature very fragile. They’re like little naked babies, unable to protect themselves.

If we really believe in a new idea, we have to protect her with great effort. This is difficult, because oftentimes the greatest ideas get killed by the people around us. Executing on a great idea is by nature a lonely path. If everyone would agree with you, the idea is probably not that great anyway.

Colleagues might kill your idea because they don’t like to see you succeed, even if they don’t do it on purpose. Close friends & family also try to kill your ideas because they love you, and they don’t like to see you fail. All they do is protecting you from taking risks, while slowly killing your ideas without you noticing it.

In the end, everyone seems to be against you — And that’s where you have to decide for yourself to use selective ignorance. Hugh Macleod puts it simply: “Great ideas alter the power balance in relationships. That’s why great ideas are initially resisted”.

The more interesting or original your idea is, the less good advice other people will be able to give you. The idea is your baby, it’s fragile and it needs you to protect it until it’s strong enough to survive others people attacks.

Interesting enough, we do everything possible to kill great ideas immediately. We get 20 people into a brainstorm meeting where everyone throws out one idea after another, just to see it being killed instantly. Brainstorm meetings are the places where good ideas go to die, unfortunately.

How to ignore everybody around you

On top of it, we often survey the “smartest” people and gather feedback for our new idea. Unfortunately, the smarter the people in the group, the more reasons they will find why your idea won’t work.

George Lois (the original Mad Men) once said: In order to create good work, you spend your time on 1% Inspiration, 9% Persperation and 90% Justification.

90% are protecting your idea, and slowly, through hard work, winning over people on your side by justifying your idea.

But the secret to this is often to Ignore Everybody at first. In the beginning, you are often as fragile as the idea itself, and all you can do is shut yourself off from other opinions. Sticking to your gut feeling and working on your idea until it’s strong enough to survive on it’s own.

Let’s be honest:

When Larry Page & Sergey Brin came up with the idea to build a search engine, it seemed to be a horrible idea. More than five other search engines already existed, and none of them was commercially successful.

In 1902, the New York Times wrote that the price of cars will never be cheap enough to make them as popular to the masses. They called it “impractical” with no future in sight. And yes, this statement came from one of the “greatest newspapers”.

AirBnB seemed to be a horrible idea. Couch surfing was already known to be a weird thing some hippies do, but not the masses.

An online messaging service that borrows the limitations of SMS so you can only write within 140 characters? Seriously, Twitter seemed like the worst idea you can have in the midst of all the possibilities the internet has brought us.

An app where you can record short video clips that disappear forever after you watched them once? That seems like a pretty fragile idea, until it was called Snapchat.

In 1876, Alexander Graham Bell offered to sell his patent for the telephone to the Western Union. They politely dismissed the offer with the reason for it “being a useless toy that would never amount to anything”.

In the end, we can learn two things from these stories:

1. Ignore Everybody while working on a new idea. If you’re in love with it, chances are 50/50 and NO one other than you will be able to give you the advice you need. Don’t ask for advice, roll with it! Or do it like I sometimes do: If 10 people call you stupid or an idiot, you got your validation, now prove them wrong.

2. While seeing other people working on their idea, we can try to be more open rather than dismissive. But then again, I also believe in dismissal being a motivator to try harder for myself. It’s really up to you on how you treat other peoples ideas.

Some common synonyms of ignore are disregard, forget, neglect, overlook, and slight. While all these words mean “to pass over without giving due attention,” ignore implies a failure to regard something obvious.

ignored the snide remark

When is disregard a more appropriate choice than ignore?

The words disregard and ignore are synonyms, but do differ in nuance. Specifically, disregard suggests voluntary inattention.

disregarded the wishes of his family

When could forget be used to replace ignore?

Although the words forget and ignore have much in common, forget may suggest either a willful ignoring or a failure to impress something on one’s mind.

forget what others say

When can neglect be used instead of ignore?

The synonyms neglect and ignore are sometimes interchangeable, but neglect implies giving insufficient attention to something that merits one’s attention.

habitually neglected his studies

Where would overlook be a reasonable alternative to ignore?

The words overlook and ignore can be used in similar contexts, but overlook suggests disregarding or ignoring through haste or lack of care.

in my rush I overlooked a key example

When would slight be a good substitute for ignore?

While the synonyms slight and ignore are close in meaning, slight implies contemptuous or disdainful disregarding or omitting.

1-Sentence-Summary: Ignore Everybody outlines 40 ways for creative people to let their inner artist bubble to the surface by staying in control of their art, not selling out and refusing to conform to what the world wants you to do.

Read in: 4 minutes

Favorite quote from the author:

How to ignore everybody around you

Hugh MacLeod has one of the oldest blogs on the web. At Gaping Void he still posts almost daily, releasing a new comic with every post, even after over 15 years of blogging. That’s the dedication of a true artist.

Initially, Hugh started drawing these cartoons on the backs of business cards, because he had a hard time seizing inspiration when it struck anywhere but his studio with his paint supplies. The young copywriter realized that in this format, he could create his art anywhere, and it stuck.

By now millions of people love and share his cartoons online, and his company creates custom art for their clients. He also illustrates books, for example Seth Godin’s.

Here are 3 lessons from Ignore Everybody to help you find real artistic freedom:

  1. If you’re creating true art, your friends’ feedback will do you no good.
  2. Don’t force your art to pay the bills, or it’ll cease to be art.
  3. Stop waiting to be discovered. Discover yourself online instead.

Call your inner artist and tell her we’re about to set her free, it’s about to get artsy!

Lesson 1: If what you’re making is true art, you have to ignore everybody, especially your friends.

Here’s the crux of creating art: if people can give you extensive and helpful feedback on it, you’ve failed to do your job. Think about it. What allows you to give good feedback? Understanding the situation really well.

But if you write something and your friends can tell you exactly what’s good and what’s bad about it, then what you’ve written can’t be very original, can it? If your art is perfectly understood it likely just regurgitates other peoples’ art.

The more original your idea is, the less proper feedback and advice people can give you.

That doesn’t mean people have to be confused by your art all the time. But if you start something you think is new and it ends up not upsetting anyone, you know you’ll have to try again. If people had been used to Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings the first time he created them, well then he wouldn’t have been such an original artist.

With art the function of feedback is reversed. The better the feedback, the more work you still have to do. Beware though, ignoring your friends will affect your relationships. Since they won’t understand, some will turn away, but that’s the price a true artist has to pay.

Lesson 2: Don’t try to force your art to pay your bills or you’ll risk killing the part that makes it art in the first place.

You might say: so what if I listen to my friends’ advice? Isn’t it good to implement feedback? You tell me to do that in business all the time! Right, but art isn’t business.

The moment you listen to other people about how you should create your art is the moment you compromise it – it ceases to be art. You’d be creating what the world wants you to create, not what you want to see come to life. Ignoring your friends is one thing, but this becomes a real struggle when it comes to using your art to pay the bills.

First of all, you should never ever start your journey as an artist this way. For example, if you start a blog in your spare time, but launch it with the idea of having every post make money, you’re better off not even starting. What you’ll create will be completely driven by the desire to make money.

Instead, get a job to pay the rent and bills to detach your art from the money. This is the only way to buy yourself the artistic freedom you need to make something original.

If your art becomes part of how you make money down the line that’s fine, but never force it to be this way and never let art be your sole source of income – it’ll put too much pressure on you to perform and drain your creativity.

Lesson 3: Your plan to be discovered is flawed. Stop waiting and discover yourself – online!

The door is flung wide open, a well-dressed agent in a shiny suit with gelled hair and a pair of Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses walks into the burger joint and orders a milkshake. While sipping on his frothy chocolate drink, he peeks around the restaurant, then sits down next to the guy with the long, blond, messy hair.

“You look like the next Avenger to me, would you like to audition?”

Sounds like a scene from a movie, where the struggling actor gets a lucky break? Well, that’s because it’s too good to be true. Stuff like this almost never happens.

Even though the internet is now well over 20 years old, we still have this notion in our heads that as artists, we need someone to discover us. We don’t. You can discover yourself.

In fact, discovering yourself has become very easy, because a plethora of platforms in a variety of mediums gives you access to whatever tools you need to create. You could use Medium for blogging, Youtube for videos, Instagram for sketches, and so on.

Forget the middlemen. Use the internet and start!

Ignore Everybody Review

If you like Hugh’s comics, you’ll love Ignore Everybody. If you like bite-sized, poignant pieces of wisdom, which are easy to consume but take a while to suggest, you’ll love this book. And if you’re an artist, you have to read this book. With all this creative bullshitting going on today, it’s more important than ever to distinguish between real and fake art. Highly recommended!

Audio Summary

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What else can you learn from the blinks?

  • What you can do to capture your creative hiccups
  • How to spot when you’re procrastinating
  • Why your teacher ruined your creativity when he told you your cat has to be painted black
  • What you should think about before turning your art into your career

Who would I recommend the Ignore Everybody summary to?

The 25 year old “life coach” who doles out advice she’s really just learning from other people, the 43 year old novelist without a blog, and anyone who’s afraid of creating art because of what their friends might think.

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