By Michal Spiegelman
Hello Beacon, and welcome to this week’s Upshifting Vlog.
“She has no idea how to parent her kids.”
“He smokes and drinks like crazy. I can’t stand him.”
“She is out of her mind to turn this job offer down.”
We all judge! Who doesn’t judge and criticize others?
But at the same time, we want to stop judging. We want to stop criticizing because we know that judging and criticizing is toxic. No wonder that many of the women who hire me as their coach and mentor have brought this topic to our sessions together recently asking for help to stop judging others.
As a coach and mentor, I always say that I can help you to achieve whatever you want. Anything. But first you need to know what that thing is. A lot of the work I do is helping women to become clear with what they want.
I hear from women who are tired of having so much tension, conflict, and negativity around them.
Others have shared fears of becoming like their hyper-critical parents, even when they know that their parents’ judgmental tendencies come from a place of pain, such as lacking emotional support.
Others have seen their children start to judge and criticize and want to stop the legacy before it’s too late.
Judgment is human. It is also toxic.
When we judge other people, we usually have a tendency to judge ourselves as well.
More and more women are realizing that this judgment game is very draining for them.
How do you stop? The answer is, you can’t.
It would be unrealistic to think that you can stop judging completely. However, you can definitely change the balance between judgment and praise, criticism and compliments.
Marriage expert John Gottman has a formula for preventing divorce and suggests that we aim for a five to one ratio of positive to negative interactions.
What if, for every time you judge, you come up with at least two positive things to think and to say? At the beginning, it might be a more internal process where you don’t say the praise out loud, but eventually you will want to express those things to others—or to yourself, if your goal is to stop judging yourself!
I want to share a really powerful strategy to help you move out of judgment.
But first I want to ask you a question. What is the difference between observation and judgment? Think about it for a minute. Observation is neutral. It’s really just noticing something more objectively. Observation is sticking to the facts. Judgment is labeling the facts as good or bad. So saying, “it’s a stormy night,” when there is a storm outside, is really sticking to the facts. But saying, “this fucking storm is ruining my evening,” that’s labeling the facts. Labeling the storm as good or bad.
There is a lot of judgment in saying, “He’s smoking and drinking like crazy. He’s so useless and irresponsible, and I can’t stand him.”
Who are we to judge if smoking and drinking are part of his journey and the lessons that he needs to learn or not?
To say, “he’s drinking and smoking a lot”—that’s observing. That’s sticking to the facts. I hope that you can see the difference.
Do you want to stop judging?
Step back. Observe.
State the facts in a neutral way.
Bring curiosity into your observation process.
That really helps you to judge less or to stop judging. Say, “the way that she’s parenting her kid is so interesting,” but bring curiosity into the process of observation. It will help you emotionally to detach from the negativity, from the conflict, from the tension, and to be in a more neutral state.
Complaining is a basic instinct that every human baby is born with. That’s how you let your family know you’re hungry or you’re not getting your needs met.
I took a long time to grow out of my basic baby instinct. I thought that if I yell and scream, everything will be better. It took me a long time to realize I didn’t have to yell and scream all the time to get my way and to get things better. My six-month-old daughter is learning that there are situations where she doesn’t have to scream. She’s learning that she can have patience and know that everything will work out for her.
How many times as adults do we end up doing the same things we did when we were babies? How many times do we have basic fears of not getting our bottle? I see in this game I’m playing in particular, there are a lot of people putting up complaints. Their teammates aren’t playing well. They are critical of what’s going on in the game. They are frustrated and they’re saying things like you did certain things wrong.
To me, that reflects the basic state of living we’re programmed with as a baby. There’s nothing wrong with it unless you’re the one doing it. If you’re the one doing it, it hurts. If you’ve hurt enough by now in your life then you don’t have to keep going as long as you can see there’s another way to live.
There’s another way to live where everything’s okay just as it is. You don’t have to complain about everything, you can see that all your basic needs are met. You can have peace about how everything is right now. That’s something that my daughter’s getting a hold of at 6 months old. It’s amazing to see the patience she already has in some situations.
Today, I try to be aware of how I’m behaving and how it compares to how I’ve behaved my whole life. The difference is when you’re a baby, you can’t communicate it all. My daughter doesn’t have anything else but complaining that she can use if her needs aren’t being met.
As adults, there’s something we can do when our needs aren’t being met. However, we often resort to the same things we’ve known how to do our whole life. We still resort to the exact same baby methods we were raised with. There’s no shame in that it’s just simply we weren’t taught anything else. We were only taught how to live a certain way. When we lose at the game of life sometimes, our basic instinct is to complain. To me, it’s possible to live another way.
It’s a miracle that we all have a chance to live another way. We don’t have to go through life being a baby from the time we live to the time we die. I learned a lot as a child about different ways to live.
I didn’t realize that if I wasn’t aware of my basic programming to complain I would continue leaning new ways to do the same thing. I learned that I could say no about things I didn’t like that weren’t relevant to my actual needs. My daughter doesn’t complain about anything she doesn’t have an absolute need for. She needs food, she needs to be changed, she needs companionship and she needs sleep. Those are the only things she complains about. As adults, we complain about so many different things.
We take that same basic baby behavior into all different methods. I’m lucky that I have the chance to live a different way today. I’m lucky that I can play a different game and I don’t have to participate in the complaining.
You might say that you just play terribly and you can say whatever you want to. If I’m not complaining about you, then it doesn’t matter what you say about me. If I’m okay with how you’re acting, then it doesn’t matter what you say. You can complain all you want, if I’m okay with your behavior, it doesn’t matter. I don’t suffer on account of it. The person who complains, is the one who also suffers.
I’m here because I also see lots of my fellow human beings suffering. I want to do all I can to show that there’s another way to live. I want to show that there’s a chance to do something besides suffer. You don’t have to complain about everything in life. Complaining hurts you more than it hurts anyone else.
If I were to start talking back with people in that game and getting upset, then I hurt on account of it. I love everyone I just played that game with. I’m okay with their frustration. We lost the game and I understand why they’re frustrated. I made a couple of plays that weren’t good, I get why they’re saying that. I get why they’re criticizing me, that’s fine. There’s no me to criticize. There doesn’t exist any Jerry Banfield being to criticize. There’s a lot more to me than whether I click right or left at the correct time on the mouse. That’s one thing that I’m doing at the moment, it doesn’t affect what I’m doing for the rest of my life.
Most of my life all I could see was how other people were wrong. All I could see is what other people could do better. In seeing what other people could do better, then I was blind to what I could do better. I was blind to the suffering and to what I could do myself.
Today I pray to not force more suffering on myself. I pray to understand that when I don’t force more suffering on myself, I can then not force suffering on other humans. I pray to you in the face of complaining, frustration and shame that I can maintain a loving presence. I pray that this presence can heal every person in the entire world by allowing me to send the love our creator. I’ve hurt and complained enough. I pray that you have the same chance today to share your life with another human being in the world. Thank you for reading this. Have a great day today.
My Life Story in 10 Minutes!
AA Speaker Meeting — My First 6 Years Staying Sober in Alcoholics Anonymous!
Learning to see judging other people as a bad thing is among the best changes you can make to feel happier. This is because we all judge others despite our best efforts. It might be for trivial things like a co-worker taking extended lunch breaks or bigger issues such as a person who routinely hurts others or behaves selfishly.
The judging itself isn’t bad; it is what judging is a symptom of that is harmful. The keyword here is “harmful” instead of “bad,” because instead of judging judgment, you will be better off simply observing that it causes harm.
People with critical or judgmental mindsets are known to have strained work and personal relationships, but changing this can be harder than you think. It takes time and practice to be less critical and judgmental, but there are many ways you can change your outlook.
For instance, you can teach yourself to focus on other people’s strengths instead, challenge your own judgmental thoughts and learn how to offer criticism in ways that are constructive rather than negative and harsh.
If you’re struggling to stop judging others, here are some tips to help:
1. Be Mindful
Being aware that you are doing it is the most important step if you are looking to stop passing judgment on others. Although judgment is one of the most natural instincts, try to catch yourself before you speak out of turn or send that nasty email and do any potential harm.
You can’t get someone to un-hear words after they have been spoken. Instead, take a deep breath and see if you can understand where that person is coming from. Next try to rephrase any critical internal thoughts into positive ones or at least a neutral one.
This is because after all, like the dog caught in a trap; we really can’t pinpoint the reasons for someone’s behavior.
2. Avoid Stereotyping
Stereotypes are always bad. They create lots of negativity. The more the number of stereotypes gets formed, the more you will have people around you trying to avoid or “live up” the ideas of what they think they’re supposed to be.
Whether they are based on gender, race, ethnicity, spirituality, appearance or some other attribute, they’ll always be bad news. Stereotypes force people (you included) to feel as if they have to meet certain standards instead of living a free life full of happiness. Avoid making judgments as you will only end up among the gang perpetuating stereotypes.
Here’s an interesting TED Talk on the science of stereotyping.
3. Stop Judging Yourself
Whenever you pass judgement on another person, you are probably also judging yourself pretty harshly as well. It is not an easy thing to do, but you have to stop judging yourself and focus more on the positives aspects of you.
This will make it easier to see good in others and focus on the good things you see in others. There is no reason to be hard on yourself.
4. Look for Basic Goodness in People
This is one thing you have to train your mind for and it takes time because our minds naturally scan for the negatives, but we can always find something good in other people.
When we judge people, we not only make them feel bad, we also feel worse afterwards. While you may get a tiny adrenaline rush from making judgments, you will ultimately end up feeling guilty. Basically, you put yourself down whenever you put others down.
5. Educate Yourself
It is important to learn what motivates other people’s actions. For example, when someone keeps behaving in an annoying manner, it may be due to a hidden disability or they may be going through problems unbeknownst to everyone else.
For instance someone with Asperger’s syndrome may have poor social skills if they keep invading your personal space, just keep in mind that it isn’t about you, it is about them.
There’s a famous quote from Einstein that perfect captures this concept. Think it over.
6. Try to Find Common Ground
In the famous words of Maya Angelou, we are more alike than different. Whenever feelings of critique towards other people start creeping up, try reminding yourself that they probably love their family just like you do and will jump at the chance to be happy and free of suffering – just like you.
Most importantly, remember that other people make mistakes, just like you do.
7. Find Ways of Feeling Good About Yourself
Improve aspects of your life that are critical to your happiness. For instance, if you feel that your parenting is good, you will have no interest in judging other people’s parenting choices. If you work on your body and feel good about it, you won’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or physical appearance.
Instead of worrying about what others are wearing/doing/etc. Think about your own life and focus on it. It is very easy to criticize others when you are trying to avoid your own problems, instead, think about you and only focus on the good things.
8. Don’t Blame Yourself
Our survival instincts are instinctively hardwired in us. When we come across a person (or a dog) that might literally or metaphorically bite us, we would of course feel threatened. In most cases, we revert to fight-flight mode and are unable to put a finger of the myriads of possible reasons that could explain the actions of other people.
We get defensive and tight. This is quite normal for a first reaction; the most important thing is to pause before you act when coming out of this mode.
You are bound to meet people who disagree with you are strive to make things really difficult for you. When this happens, remember that it is not always about you. Their behavior could be caused by their struggle or pain. Why not check your reflexes and instead give that person the benefit of doubt?
“Never underestimate the pain that a person may be going through because in all honesty, everyone around us is going through some sort of trouble. It is just that some of us are better at dealing with it than others” – Will Smith.
10. Cultivate Compassion
Remember how bad it feels to be judged. Now remember how you felt the last time you judged another person. It doesn’t feel good to judge or be judged so you should put an end to it now. It is a good thing to remember this the next time negative thoughts out others creep up in your mind.
Judging someone does not define who they are; it defines who you are.
Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a co-worker who took too long of a lunch break. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as a person who behaves selfishly or hurts our feelings.
Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach frequently tells this story: Imagine you are walking through the woods and you see a small dog. It looks cute and friendly. You approach and move to pet the dog. Suddenly it snarls and tries to bite you. The dog no longer seems cute and you feel fear and possibly anger. Then, as the wind blows, the leaves on the ground are carried away and you see the dog has one of its legs caught in a trap. Now, you feel compassion for the dog. You know it became aggressive because it is in pain and is suffering.
What can we learn from this story? How can we become less judgmental?
- Don’t blame yourself. We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. When we see a dog (or a person) that might bite us (literally or metaphorically), of course we feel threatened. We go into fight-flight-freeze mode, and are unable to see the myriad possible reasons for another’s behavior. We get tight and defensive. This is a normal first reaction. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.
- Be mindful. Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or send that nasty email and do any potential harm. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. After all, like that dog in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behavior.
- Depersonalize. When someone disagrees with us or somehow makes our life difficult, remember that it’s typically not about us. It may be about their pain or struggle. Why not give others the benefit of the doubt? “Never underestimate the pain of a person,” Will Smith said, “because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”
- Look for basic goodness. This takes practice, as our minds naturally scan for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person.
- Repeat the mantra, “Just like me.” Remember, we are more alike than different. When I feel critical of someone, I try to remind myself that the other person loves their family just like I do, and wants to be happy and free of suffering, just like I do. Most important, that person makes mistakes, just like I do.
- Reframe. When someone does something you don’t like, perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. Or maybe they have a different timetable than you do. This may help you be more open-minded and accepting of their behavior. The Dalai Lama says: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”
- Look at your own behavior. Sometimes, we may be judging someone for something that we do ourselves, or have done. For example, the next time you find yourself yelling at someone while you’re driving, ask yourself, “Have I ever driven poorly?” Of course, we all have.
- Educate yourself. When people do things that are annoying, they may have a hidden disability. For example, some people with poor social skills may have Asperger’s syndrome. So if someone’s invading your personal space (as someone with Asperger’s might), remember again, it’s not about you. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
- Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Someone once told me, no one wakes up in the morning and says, “I think I’m going to be a jerk today.” Most of us do the best we can with the resources we have at the moment.
- Feel good about you. Brene´ Brown says: “If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because were using each other as a launching pad out of her own perceived deficiency.”
And finally, remember that judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.
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“We judge naturally,” says Dr. Manly, who is the author of Date Smart ($16), Aging Joyfully ($19), and Joy From Fear ($20). Judgment is necessary “so that we can discriminate between healthy food and moldy food; healthy situations and unhealthy situations; a safe person coming into the village vs. an intruder coming into the village,” she explains. But judgment can also be used negatively when “we judge people against this idealized image of what we believe life should be, or what the media believes life or we should be,” Dr. Manly adds. “That’s when what I call ‘the voice of toxic comparison’ comes in.”
That’s not to say it’s not okay to analyze people. “It’s natural for us to see someone and say, ‘Oh my God, she’s gorgeous,’ right? And that’s absolutely fine,” Dr. Manly says. “We just don’t want to go to the next step and say, ‘She’s more gorgeous than I am,’ or, ‘She’s prettier than I am,’ or, ‘She’s more fit.’ Or if you’re looking at someone saying, ‘Oh, well I am prettier than she is,’ or, ‘I’m more fit,’ we also want to stop that because what’s it doing? It’s increasing the viper inside of us and it’s feeding the viper, and we don’t want to feed the viper that’s criticizing ourselves or criticizing other people.”
These idealized thoughts of how we “should” look or what we “should” do stem from cognitive distortions. “”Our minds will distort things in order to make what we’re doing okay,” Dr. Manly says. “Cognitive distortions are that place where your mind gets distorted to believe, ‘Everybody does this,’ or, ‘Everybody deserves to be criticized,’ or ‘Everybody’s body should be judged.'”
For example, I’ve got tons of internalized fatphobia that I project onto myself and sometimes (in my head) others. Media depictions certainly influenced this—did anyone who grew up watching The Nanny not develop body insecurities stemming from pencil-thin Fran Drescher fearing weight gain like the plague? But some of it was also passed down through messages from my mom and grandmother that being fat is bad. Something Dr. Manly classifies as “an intergenerational transmission of violence.”
Wherever your insecurities stem from, Dr. Manly says it’s very possible to unlearn them and lead a life where you’re kinder to yourself and others.
How to be less judgmental in two easy steps
1. Acknowledge when you’re doing it
“One of the key things is just to notice when you’re doing it. Just stop yourself,” says Dr. Manly. “But here’s the key—you can’t judge yourself for doing it, because then you’re letting judgment in again. It’s just, ‘Oh, I notice that I’m criticizing that person or criticizing that person’s looks, I don’t want to do that. Leave it be.’ “
2. Talkback to judgmental thoughts
When you catch yourself being judgmental, it’s important to stop and ask yourself: “Do I want to be judging right now?”
“Sometimes you’ll say, ‘Yeah, I want to go for it. I want to tear her to pieces,’ and that’s a choice,” says Dr. Manly. “And other times you’ll go, ‘No, I don’t really want to feed that viper inside me.’ And the more we go to that side without judgment, the more we will hardwire that part into our brains that is loving and compassionate with others and the self.”
As intangible as it sounds, Dr. Manly says that by routinely talking back to these intrusive thoughts and choosing to not engage with them, we can, over time, stop them from happening.
“Our brains can be trained. That’s the beauty of neuroplasticity. That all of the thoughts you have are simply your own hardwiring,” she says. “It’s mind-blowing, but I see it every day in my clinical practice that the people who work more on feeding that positive side of themselves, they change their lives. Yes, it takes time, but they eventually get to a place where they’re like, ‘Oh, I don’t even recognize that person. That person was vicious.'”
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Oct 28, 2017 · 4 min read
Judging others is very easy as all you need to do is observe their activities and comment on them. This has a lot to do with a person’s mindset where he or she feels that it is imperative to pass judgment on others and the voice inside their head reminds them of all the things people have said to them or about them.
It is very difficult to accept that w e judge everything about everyone from their clothes, to the way they look, to the way they talk and their actions. It is a thing which we do because we deceive ourselves into believing that we are better than others wherein it’s just what we do in our profession is what is different with everything else being the same. We are going to talk about everything about judgments, why they happen, what are the consequences of judgment and how can we stop yourself from Judging Others?
Why Do We Judge Others?
We are afraid to believe it or not we are intimidated by those around us when we are not talking to them, or they are not talking to us. This period of silence makes us admit our real feelings. Everybody is not the same, and we will always come across people who are better than us at something and find that we are better at something than other people do. This can either inflate or deflate our sense of self and make us criticize the other person or bitch about them.
What is the primal response of anyone who gets hurt? It is that they, in turn, hurt others or keep looking for ways till they finally find one to hurt others. This is very wrong because we take the thing personally which other people say because they are unable to mask the pain. Every adult has something or the other that is bothering them and this only results in the frustration piling up in head eager for release, and it’s okay if you see someone venting. Just dismiss it as their bad day and don’t look to seek revenge.And stop yourself from Judging Others.
#2. Filter Thoughts
A lot of times, we tend to say the first thing that comes to our mind which is more irresponsible than wrong of us because we should consider all the things are just a figment of imagination in our head. A good mind is just a patient one.You need to practice thought control and whenever you think about another person just know to limit your thinking to facts and not stretching with your own imagination. Concluding every person, you come across with a smile will help you not judge others.
Empathy is all about putting yourself in anyone else’s shoes. Don’t you burn yourself in agony when someone says something about you which is really mean and for sure exaggerated? How will you feel when someone who doesn’t have all the information on you passes a negative opinion on you with such confidence that you doubt yourself? It can come from anyone including your loved one when the distance between both of you grows.
#4. Facts and Projections
One must admit to oneself the truth at all times which is they need to acknowledge what exactly they have on the other person and how much of it is projected. Judging is a mostly negative exaggeration which should not happen at all as it is responsible for giving birth to stereotypes which isolate a group of people from others giving birth to enmity and differences when all there should be is love. Once you get determined about not using negative exaggeration as a tool to get rid of your own mental demons, you will for sure stop judging others.
#5. Growth Is Not Easy
The growth of any kind is not easy. It asks a lot from a person especially courage and patience as whoever thinks of scaling new heights overnight often comes face to face with reality. The environment one grows up in has its roses and its scars, no two people share the same roses and the same scars.
The author of Daring Greatly, who’s launching Part 2 of the groundbreaking The Gifts of Imperfection e-course, on why we should stop criticizing others.
First, the bad news: If you have a fondness for snarky jabs — and believe me, most of us take pleasure in the occasional barb — this column might ruin your fun. The good news is that understanding how and why we judge others, and trading that judgment for a little empathy and self-compassion, can bring more joy to our lives, families and relationships.
Most of us don’t realize how often we judge: We gossip about our boss’s new boyfriend, we look down on our neighbors’ parenting — the list goes on. One way to become more aware of how we judge is to understand why: We’re often motivated by a need to compare ourselves favorably with the people around us. We tend to judge others in areas where we feel most vulnerable or not good enough. If I’m constantly worried about being a great mother, I might be quicker to look down on another mom who misses the school play. When a colleague recently rescheduled a meeting for the second time, I found myself rolling my eyes; I had no compassion to extend, because I was still beating myself up for flaking on a work event the week before. In these moments, we take unconscious refuge in the thought, “At least I’m better than someone.”
You might be wondering whether a little judginess is always a bad thing. After all, sometimes it’s really satisfying to point out that others are screwing up! But judgment kills empathy. And empathy is what fuels trust and intimacy. How can we walk in others’ shoes when we’re busy judging those shoes?
It starts with showing compassion for ourselves. Only when we feel comfortable with our own choices — and embrace our own imperfections — will we stop feeling the driving need to criticize others.
Be mindful. Be awake to what you’re thinking, feeling, and saying — and why. It might seem awkward at first, but the next time you feel judgmental, stop and ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?”
Change your inner monologue. When I canceled that work event, I told myself, “You’re a slacker. You’re not dependable.” Had I said, “Life happens, Brené,” I might have been more empathic when my colleague moved our meeting.
Make a pact with a friend or a family member. Declare a judgment-free week — or, if you’re feeling brave, month. There will be long periods of silence; it’s a shocker when you realize how much “connecting” we do by talking about others. But asking someone you trust to join you will help keep you accountable — and help you change the subject.
Our stop criticizing people positive affirmations are specifically designed to allow you to improve your personality and become more appealing to others. When used correctly, these affirmations are able to change your mind set by altering the way you deal with certain situations.
The main benefits of positive affirmations are simple. They have the power to allow you to change your outlook on life and the way you deal with situations that may come your way. They are able to vastly influence personalities and optimism.
Positive affirmations can allow you to stop criticizing people as they can stop you noticing the negatives about others. This can allow you to improve your social life, become well liked and advance in your career.
We recommend that you use some of the affirmations provided below at least once a day in order to gain their full potential.
|Present Tense Affirmations|
|I do not see people’s flaws|
|I am good at encouraging other people|
|I am better at seeing people’s achievements than their failings|
|I can make people happy with my words|
|I wake up and feel positive|
|I am good at complimenting people|
|I find it easy not to criticize people|
|I naturally see the personality of a person rather than what they look like|
|I am able to smile more and feel happier|
|I can tell people when I am impressed at their achievements|
|Future Tense Affirmations|
|I will begin to compliment people more|
|I will stop criticizing people|
|I will become a more positive person|
|I will become more sensitive towards other’s feelings|
|I am transforming into a better person|
|I will strive to help others rather than put them down|
|I am becoming more positive every day|
|Others will respect my opinion more|
|I will always find something nice to say|
|Other people will like my new personality and optimism|
|Others see me as a nice, friendly person|
|I only see the best in people|
|People are happy in my presence|
|I am much happier when I do not criticize people|
|I enjoy telling people that they have done well|
|Being positive comes naturally to me|
|People will come to me for help|
|People look up to me as a role model|
|I improved my life when I stopped criticizing others|
|I find it easy to be positive|
Recommended Resources to Stop Criticizing People
Stop Complaining Subliminal: This album is able to help you target complaining but can be beneficial for criticizing too as they are linked. By focusing on preventing complaining about other people this album can be used in conjunction with the positive affirmations on this page.
Stop Criticizing Subliminal: The best album we have found to work with stop criticizing positive affirmations. It is able to guide your mind to become more conscious of the way you interact with people and the messages you send out such as body language.